Ok to diss large diamond but rude to diss small e-ring?

[junebug17]

This thread has me thinking a little - I don't have a really large stone (mine is 8 mm and I've only had it about a year, and to be honest nobody even seems to notice it) so I'm wondering what kinds of snarky things people say to those with large stones? Do these people say them right to the person's face?

 

[Dreamer_D]

It seems to always be ok to comment/poke fun/criticize something that is viewed as a 'good thing' by the majority of society. Skinny women are supposed to be ok with comments about their weight, obese women are not. Women who look young hear about it all the time (even when it's not-so-nice teasing), women who look older or haggard do not. People who eat fine food are teased for being food snobs, people who eat rubbish don't. People with big diamonds, nice cars, expensive purses are in the firing line, those who have very little never have it pointed out. For some reason it's considered fair game if societal norms say that the object/characteristic is desirable.

Ditto-my thoughts exactly!

All of those things you list as desired are signs of wealth and status, even the appearance based ones. People of lower status are "allowed" to poke fun at people of higher status. But people of higher status are not "allowed" to poke fun at people of lower status. The reasons for that norm seem obvious to me.

Those are the norms, I am not saying if they are right or wrong.

 

[JulieN]

Maybe some people with large rings do subconsciously flaunt it a little?

I remember squeezing through a narrow space in a crowded restaurant because I can, insisting that no one move to accommodate me. Lady at another table told me to eat a cheeseburger.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

No, you know, everyone talks about size and upgrades which is a subtle way of stating smaller diamonds are not as desirable as a larger diamond that can be achieved over time. I've heard lots of people say that a certain size is too small. And, this is in RL. One gal even told me she would wear CZs rather than settle for small diamonds (she said that .75 per ear was too small!).

This might be a defense mechanism - she can't afford the diamonds she wants so she just puts them down and sets the bar so high as to be impossible. She can't have the 0.5cts that she wants so she calls them too small and justifies her CZs (aka, sour grapes).

 

[Lady_Disdain]

There's also the fact that, practically speaking, diamonds are a gendered interest. Most things coded as feminine in our society are fair game. A guy with a Rolex, on the other hand? "Successful," not "gaudy," or whatever other term you might hear applied to a big ring.

I have to disagree. There are plenty of male status icons that are mocked - the "middle age crisis" convertible, the big bling watches, most masculine jewelry (a man wearing a diamond stud, for example), men who have big "muscle" cars are compensating, etc. It is, of course, different mockery but the underlying concept is the same.

 

[Circe]

LD - true, but I think a lot of that is because it's read as unmanly ... which is to say, diamonds have girl cooties.

DF - anybody who insults that watch is blind! What a beaut.

 

[Circe]

Oh - though I will say, I think you and DS are right about cars performing a similar function for guys, which is really interesting to me.

 

[canuk-gal]

Maybe some people with large rings do subconsciously flaunt it a little?

I remember squeezing through a narrow space in a crowded restaurant because I can, insisting that no one move to accommodate me. Lady at another table told me to eat a cheeseburger.

HI:

Of course I never take these comments personally, because I have a large ring with which to, well, you know the rest......

cheers--Sharon

 

[canuk-gal]

There's also the fact that, practically speaking, diamonds are a gendered interest. Most things coded as feminine in our society are fair game. A guy with a Rolex, on the other hand? "Successful," not "gaudy," or whatever other term you might hear applied to a big ring.

HI:

Here here. One doesn't have to go far to find evidence of the same....that whole "evil girls awesome bicepts seduction socialite in tight dress biographer and army stuff" doesn't seen to focus on MEN at all. No men and women at all, JUST women. And their apparent weakness(es) so just add the failings and unforgivable attributes in blank space_____________________________________.

I am not (SNL) Jilly--but say "sorry".

cheers--Sharon

 

[justginger]

It seems to always be ok to comment/poke fun/criticize something that is viewed as a 'good thing' by the majority of society. Skinny women are supposed to be ok with comments about their weight, obese women are not. Women who look young hear about it all the time (even when it's not-so-nice teasing), women who look older or haggard do not. People who eat fine food are teased for being food snobs, people who eat rubbish don't. People with big diamonds, nice cars, expensive purses are in the firing line, those who have very little never have it pointed out. For some reason it's considered fair game if societal norms say that the object/characteristic is desirable.

haha. yeah, I've *never* heard jokes about people eating McDonalds all the time. Or Cheetos covered fingertips (Britney Spears comes to mind). Or shoving Twinkies in your face. Fat jokes def aren't the one safe harbor of comedians everywhere. Bzzzzz. Try again.

Anonymous comments by strangers are not what I am referring to. You cannot tell me you know a group of people, when sitting together at lunch, who would find someone pointing how how HUGE of a portion an obese person was consuming acceptable. However, having experienced it myself multiple times, a comment about how LITTLE a thin person is eating results in giggles and ribs from around the table. Same during our work conversations re: last night's dinner. Had McDonalds? No comment. Had Rockpool and dumped $300 on a single meal? Let the teasing commence! Went to a BYO party a few weeks ago. Only person who had their drinks commented on were the ones drinking Bollinger. The $5 bottles of wine didn't register a response of any kind.

So I stand by my opinion. In real life interactions having expensive/desirable/"good" things opens you to comments while sitting on the lower end of the scale of desirability does not.