Wedding ok already having nightmares.....

[emilina22]

as happy as i am for my Future Brother in law and his fiancee....i cant get over the fact that he is planning his engagement party so close to ours (engagement party''s are huge and common within our culture) his is in a few weeks and ours is in august...actually he wanted to push his back to the week before ours, which would not have been very nice since we got engaged first and we have been planning this thing since January.

anyways i have been having the same nightmare for the past couple of nights....and my nightmare is that out of the 220 people that we invited no one is going to come because they choose their party over ours and didnt want to go to two parties from the same family...

what if no one comes, what if we worked so hard to have a nice night and a good time, and to make things beautiful and no one comes...its just me, M, my family (parents) and his parents... i dunno i cant get over this fear that no one will come now since ive been having these nightmares....

and then i keep having this other nightmare that my Future brother in laws FI has stolen all my giant idea notebook, which has everything i have ever every dreamed of and things that i have already planned and ordered (flowers, linens, ect) and her party looks identical except for the color scheme which is one color off of ours....

stupid nightmares....sign....

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Aww I am so sorry that you''re having bad dreams!!

It sounds like you''re just nervous about everything being so close together! Don''t worry, your wedding will be unique I promise. And people will come to your party!! They love y''all just as much as they love the other couple!

 

[choro72]

Awww...They all love you and they will come! If I were a guest I will think "Cool!! Two celebrations close to each other!"

 

[bee*]

Sorry to hear that you''re stressed Emilina! I know that they''ll all go to your party and they''ll have an amazing time.

 

[robbie3982]

Awe, I know what you''re going through! My cousin got engaged about 5 or 6 months after me and planned her wedding for 4 weeks before mine (we were engaged for 13 months) so I know what you''re going through! Do you have a lot of out of towners? Most of my family lives in NY which is also where my cousin lives. Only one person was unable to come to mine because they went to hers. It was her FSIL (her brother''s fiance) and she was coming from Israel so she couldn''t make the trip twice in 4 weeks. We had others who couldn''t make it, but they wouldn''t have been able to make it regardless of when her wedding was.

I''m sure people will come to yours. Think of it this way, they''ve been anticipating it longer!

 

[Pandora II]

Could you not have a joint engagement party? Then people wouldn't have to travel twice...

 

[musey]

Emilina, I actually know just how you feel.

The moment we got engaged, my brother began to act as though there were a race to the altar. At the time, he'd only been dating his girlfriend 2 months, and decided that it was high time he moved in with her

When we set our date it got worse... whenever my mom and I would talk wedding specifics, he'd forceably join the conversation and change the topic to his proposal plans (who even talks, at length, to their mother and sister about this anyway??).

Anyway, we had about 10 months to go when he announced that he was going to buy the ring. Given that his entire relationship had progressed from meeting to moving in to engagement in about half the length of our engagement, I started feeling like I shouldn't put it past him to set their date ahead of ours. Also given his competitive nature in this so far, I wouldn't have put it past him to set it very soon before ours. Now, our family is spread out across the country, and neither of us have any family within driving distance of our current cities, so literally everyone would have to fly in for each of our weddings. It would have been a big deal for me, because so few of our relatives had already said they wouldn't be able to make my wedding, and I was feeling so sad about that.

I definitely had a few bad dreams about guest list conflicts at that point

I woke up so angry at my brother!!


P.S. Thank goodness they set their date for 5 months AFTER ours, I would have had a lot more bad dreams otherwise!!!!

 

[emilina22]

thanks for you encouraging words everyone....

pandora- there is no way to have a joint party, in our culture engagement parties are sorta like coming out as an engaged couple, so its sort of like a right of passage..so a joint one is absolutely out of the question.

im sure things will turn out fine, they usually do, and im just thankful that these are just dreams and not reality, i just need to stop stressing out, i just really really hate that whole feeling of it kinda being like a competition...

 

[spike13]

If in your culture engagement parties are such a big event, I am sure your family and friends will attend. They know how important this is!

And they''ll see it as a joyous month full of exciting social engagements. If anything I think it just adds to the atmosphere of more to celebrate. And yours is first, so if they do "steal" your ideas - they saw it at your event before theirs!