Wedding Officiant for destination wedding

[marchswallowbird]

My FI and I are getting married in Yosemite. We live in Los Angeles. We are not religious, and neither of us belongs to a church. We would much prefer an officiant who has an emotional attachment/meaning for at least one of us.

I found out that the husband of one of my co-workers recently officiated a wedding here in CA. I have worked quite closely with this co-worker and we also went through our MBA program together. Her daughter is currently an itnern in my department at work. Her husband is not a minister, but obviously has the "credentials" to officiate a wedding. He was also my real estate agent/broker briefly several years ago when I was trying to buy a townhouse.

I would love to have him officiate my wedding, and to have him and my co-worker at the wedding. I''m not worried about the fact that I''m not inviting anyone else from work; she is discreet and that won''t be a problem.

My question is this: am I obligated to pay all their travel costs to come to Yosemite? It would be two nites hotel plus gas. If I do pay for travel costs, should I also offer to pay an officiant fee? Obviously they would also be invited as guests to the reception. Or, do I just offer an officiant fee, and they take care of their own travel and lodging costs?

They would have to give up a day of work (Friday), the weekend, and drive 7 hours each way to get to Yosemite.

I''d love your thoughts/opinions on this before I approach them.

 

[MaggieB]

I think it depends. If you had invited this couple to your wedding and they had accepted, then they would be attending your wedding and would not expect you to cover their travel costs. If that had happened (or does happen), I would along the way mention to the co-worker, "you know, we''ve been thinking about it and we would love for your husband to officiate . . ." - in which case you would definitely pay him some sort of officiant fee.

On the other hand, if you''ve not invited them to your wedding and are approaching them for the purpose of officiating, I think you would be expected to pay the all of the costs he incurs.

In the past, my friends have dealt with officiants for destination weddings in the following ways: 1) using a locally advertised officiant that they met and interviewed beforehand, 2) having their dad become a notary to marry them, and 3) marrying at the local clerk beforehand and having a friend with no actual authority perform the "spiritual" service.

 

[marchswallowbird]

Thanks, Maggie, I''ve been thinking it through and came to the same conclusions. Now my FI and I are discussing whether to use someone local that we don''t know, or whether to ask my co-worker''s husband.