Wedding Not attending wedding but sending gift

[lliang_chi]

Hey everyone!

Quick poll, what would you guys gift if you decided not to go to a wedding you were invited to? It''s out of town and a bit remote = lots of traveling time. The groom is an old coworker. I''m really not *that* close to him, but they have come over a few times and FI & I both know them.

Would you just buy something of their registry? (How much would you spend?)
Would you just send them a check? (And for how much?)

Cool thanks!!!

 

[neatfreak]

I''d send them something off their registry probably...I personally would probably spend about $30 for someone who I am not close with.

My thing is that if I feel I was invited with good intentions and/or I really am sad I can''t go, I send a gift. If I feel like I was invited to meet a quota and/or I really don''t know the people well AT ALL (i.e., not a relative and seems like a present grab), I just send a nice card.

 

[musey]

Whether or not I gift has nothing to do with whether or not I attend, personally.

Ditto neatfreak on the gift parameters.

 

[lliang_chi]

I was going to gift anyway, since I know the couple and like them for the most part. But I wasn''t sure how much to spend for the gift. Thanks guys, it''s good to know what guidelines other ppl use. I was thinking around $50, but wasn''t sure if that came off as "too less."

 

[Shoopy]

I always stick to the registry unless I know that the couple really prefers cash. Putting together the registry takes a lot of time/effort so it''s nice that people go that route for gifts.

For a coworker, I would try to spend up to $50, with a max of $75.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I gift regardless of whether I attend the wedding or not. And usually spend the "cost" of the meal and drinks, app. $100.00.

cheers--Sharon

 

[scarlet16]

I also always buy a gift regardless of whether I attend or not. If I don''t attend, I usually buy something off the registry - something between $75-$100. If I do attend, we usually at minimum give $100/person (so $200 for my husband & I), if we''re not that close to the couple and have given upwards of $500 for very close friends/relatives.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 9/10/2008 11:12:10 AM
Author: scarlet16
I also always buy a gift regardless of whether I attend or not. If I don''t attend, I usually buy something off the registry - something between $75-$100. If I do attend, we usually at minimum give $100/person (so $200 for my husband & I), if we''re not that close to the couple and have given upwards of $500 for very close friends/relatives.

Ditto the above

 

[purrfectpear]

For a casual coworker, probably around $75 or so.

 

[musey]

Date: 9/10/2008 11:18:17 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor

Date: 9/10/2008 11:12:10 AM
Author: scarlet16
I also always buy a gift regardless of whether I attend or not. If I don't attend, I usually buy something off the registry - something between $75-$100. If I do attend, we usually at minimum give $100/person (so $200 for my husband & I), if we're not that close to the couple and have given upwards of $500 for very close friends/relatives.

Ditto the above

You guys are a lot more generous than my circle! Even our very wealthy, close friends (couples/families, not singles) have gifted between $70-120 max. Funny, because the less wealthy singles of our crowd have gifted the same or more. Interesting...

Based on that experience, lliang, I would say $50 is plenty. I wouldn't expect even that much from a coworker/casual acquaintance (not that I'd "expect" anything at all, but you know what I mean), regardless of their attendance or no

 

[pjean]

I thought I''d chime in on the lower side. I would expect to spend around $30-$50. For a family member, I might up that to $100, but even for friends I wouldn''t likely spend that much. Now, I''m a graduate student, so that may factor into it, but a good friend of mine just got married and I bought 1/3 of a $150 gift. AND we all went to the wedding.

The friend was initially dismayed that we''d gotten anything at all, and then thrilled that we''d bought her a mini Dyson. She didn''t have a registry.

 

[Sabine]

Most of the coworkers invited to my wedding (both those that came and didn''t attend) gave between $25-50. (all money though, no gifts) I think around 50 is a good range to spend.

 

[lliang_chi]

Thanks guys! I''ll try to give whatever''s on their registry that''s around that price point. We won''t be going to their wedding, but I still wanted to send something anyway.

 

[CNOS128]

I would probably spend between $75 and $100 also. In my circle, less than that would seem odd and skimpy. But you should spend what you can comfortably! I would definitely go off the registry for that one...