Need to SOB and VENT.. Sitting My pitypot

[MINE!!]

I am sorry everyone, but I need to sit on my Pity-Pot for a while. I am very sad...
Please forgive my babyishness....

Well, I got divorced about 5 years and I started my life as a single parents of two of the most beautiful amazing little girls in the world. I worked full-time as a Funriture Buyer for about 2 years and was always traveling, which was a bit hard on my kids (probably more so on me than them, they are such troopers) But, I wanted them to have me there, since they needed to have some sort of stability. So I quit my job and started working as a Manager of a High end Furniture Store, little did I know, I was in for trouble. So I worked there for about 3 years (I was working here part time while I was a buyer) So after a while, I decided to go to school in the mornings before work. 8-9 class 9-9:50 class, work by 10, off @ 6 and once a week I had a night class. M-F. Unfortunately, the store closed. Now I was out of a job, no money, no family, beggin churches for food and praying that my children would not find out that they were poor. It sucked... really bad... nothing like sucking up your pride to beg a stranger for noodles.

Anyway, I decieded to just suck it up and go to college, live off of financial aid and just survive. But even that sucks. raising two kids on 12,000 a year a (including food, housing, etc.) JUST SUCKS.... But I was home when they got home from school, I was home when they were sick, I never miss a soccer game, ballet recital or a school performance.

Last year, I started dating the most awesome man in the world. Me, white trash meets prof. man

. I had issues with my self-esteem and with my situation, even though I was proud that I had made it as far as I had and that I survived... thus far. Anyway. he proposed about 3 months ago. (my story is under HIS PROPOSAL) He always tells me that the end is in site and that it is almost over (we are getting married in Dec. and a church cermony May 2006) He is wonderful, always wants to do things for me, give me money, spoil me etc. But I have a hard time taking money.. I know, stupid, stupid.. but it is still hard. I get so frustrated when I hit empty and realize that I have no money to fill my gas tank to take my daughter to soccer practice. Or when we get down to ramen noodles for dinner and when I wish that my A*s wasn''t growing so big because my jeans are snug and I only have the money to buy my kids new shoes. I want to go to the Dentist.... Ironically, when you have that dental and medical coverage, you never think of it, but when your body or an absessed tooth is screaming at you, you almost want to beg them to PLEASE help me!!! LOL...

But, I''m doin alright anyway. Well, I go a phone call from a Vendor that I had worked for about coming in to work for a funriture market. It is not a lot of money, but it is still more than I have had in a very long time. besides, I will get to rejoin the ranks of the people that are needed again... UGH!! So anyway, this big long story comes down to this. I would have to work the 14-20th of April. That means I would miss Thurs, Frid, Mon, Tues, and Wed of classes. I am almost to the end of this semester. The prospect of having money in my pocket though.. is something that would make those days worthwhile and the extra studying NO big deal. I have straight A''s so it would not matter in the lond run of things. I was so excited!!! BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT... I find out today that I have to defend a Proposal for a Thesis on Monday the 18th. I am more than prepared, but that just makes me not able to work, no money, nothing...

Now, I know that I should be happy that I am in school and that I am doing as well as I am. But still, mommy would like a pair of shoes too and I would like to have some money in the naks to pay for a haircut or maybe gas money or something. BUT NO!!! I have to defend a proposal... I know that I sound shallow, but I am so sad and frustrated

Anyway, I kinda feel better, sorry if I sound like a woos.... Thanks everyone...

 

[NyssaLynne]

Is there any way you can get an extension of the thesis defense? I mean, the professor should understand if you have to WORK. I would give one of my students an extension if they had a reason like that. (I teach at a community college.)

 

[Kaleigh]

I agree ask for an extension and explain your circumstances. Good luck I hope everything works out for you!!

 

[MINE!!]

Thanks everyone. I tried for MANY hours today... but they will not budge. There are a million reasons for them to do it on that day and not a good enough reason for them not... GRRRR I have to make sure that I stay positive and don''t get bitter about it..

 

[Kaleigh]

I''m sorry to hear that they won''t budge. Think good thoughts and don''t let this get you down, you''ve come so far right??

 

[AndyRosse]

Oh that just sucks! I''m so sorry.... And darn those professors!!

I mean, this is not like a little job that you want to work so you can buy a Coach handbag or something... This is to support YOU and your FAMILY!

Argh, sorry, that really just gets me angry!!

 

[MINE!!]

Thanks, I really am starting to feel a bit better, as long as I do not think about tooooo hard

I took my daughter a soccer game tionight and got to watch my daughter try on her recital dress and tonight, they will kiss me goodnight and I will remember why all of this is... ''Worth it''

Thanks everyone.

 

[lostdog]

Some colleges have an Ombudsman to help resolve such things. The professors should be able to adapt to hardship conditions if they want to. If nothing else, set up a meeting with the appropriate Dean or so on, as high up the ladder as possible.

 

[NoonersMom]

If they insist doing it on the 18th...is it possible that they will do it after work hours? If not, is the job temporary or permanent? If it''s permanent, will work be flexible with you as this is a special circumstance? I would talk to school & work. I would advise work about the situation & see if you can negotiate something...taking a half day off & working an extra hour each day for the remainder of the week -OR- arranging to defend first thing in the morning or at the end of the day. Then you can potentially leave work early or arrive late and make up the time.

Good luck! With a little persistence & negotiating you''ll find a way.

 

[movie zombie]

playing devils advocate:

school, will in the long run, give you the ability to afford those new jeans, get a job with health care, and buy gas for the soccer runs. is there a reason the new job people can''t wait until april 19? go up the ladder to the dean, the president of the college if necessary. if the new job people aren''t flexible on the start date, will they be flexible when other conflicts arise?

this is a hard one but you''d be surprised what kids do and do not remember growing up. i didn''t realize i had grown up poor until i was in my 20''s.

i guess what i''m trying to say is that lack of $$$$ has been depressing but it has not stopped you from being a good mother. i''m hoping you will find a way to do the class and have the job, but if this job isn''t a for real job with a real up the ladder future in a business you want to be in, then i say pass on it.

peace, movie zombie

 

[NoonersMom]

Mine....how did everything work out? Hopefully it worked out for the best. Your girls are absolutely beautiful! Such striking eyes. Would love to hear more about your thesis when you have time.