Wedding Need some support -

[octbride2be]

HI Everyone-
I am getting married on October 10th and just found out that my father has lung cancer on Monday. He hasn''t been feeling well for about a month and it started with a bad back that we thought was a result of carrying presents from my bridal shower. Well then he developed this cough that just won''t go away....fast forward to Monday when they found a few spots on his lungs. It seems like he is deteriorating so quickly and now I dont even know if he will be able to be at my wedding.

Its just so strange- I''ve been looking forward to this "Big Day" for about a year now and have obviously been so excited! We are going to have a really beautiful wedding in CT and were looking forward to having a huge party for everyone! Now, everything has changed. I just don''t have the same excitement as I did about the wedding- of course, I am excited to get married but at this point I think I would be just as happy to get married at the town hall with a few witnesses. I know that this is supposed to be my day to be happy- its just so hard to imagine being happy when we have all of this going on. IF he can''t make it I know it will tear me apart that day--- but obviously I know that his health and any procedures they may need to do are so important. I think we all build up these visions of what our day will be like...I know I did. Know its just confusing and I feel like all of my excitement has been taken away. My poor mother is taking care of him on a daily basis and my entire family has just been devastated by the news. Its just so strange how all of a sudden things got snapped into perspective- I went from worrying about finding the perfect wedding jewelry and having everything just right to not even being excited anymore (I actually think my friends are more excited at this point). I know what is supposed to be such a happy time is now such a sad time with the news and preparing ourselves for what might lie ahead.

I guess the only good thing that is coming from this is that it is putting it all in perspective and I stopped stressing about the wedding. Really - I just dont have energy for it anymore. Luckily most of the big things are done and for the little things like putting together bathroom baskets for everyone etc, oh well.

I''m sorry to be such a downer--- I''m just in such a bad place mentally right now and am so sad with all of the news. I need to stay positive I know- and I know everyone will say that it should be a great day no matter what because I am marrying a wonderful man - its just so hard right now to find that happiness with what we are facing. I just wish it were all a bad dream that I would wake up from but sadly, that''s not the case.

thanks for listening -

 

[julesbeth]

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry to hear about your father. I can''t imagine how you must be feeling right now.

If I could give you a hug right now, I totally would.

I will keep my fingers crossed that your father will be able to make it to the wedding, and while this is a total damper on the day - it really has given you amazing perspective on this life altering day you are about to have. While you are going to have an amazing wedding day - you are also ready to have a marriage and that''s what its about. Life has its ups and downs, but you will have a wonderful family and a fabulous new husband by your side.

Best of luck dear.

 

[MaggieB]

I am so sorry that you are going to have to go through this. My mother''s cancer was the hardest thing I have ever been through. If it had happened during my wedding, I don''t know how I would have handled it.

My only advice to you is to try and understand that you can help and support your dad and still keep a part of yourself to enjoy your wedding, which will only happen once. I wish you and especially your father all the best.

 

[AlliMay]

octbride2be--I almost never post, but just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news. I am sending you and your family good vibes and many heartfelt prayers...

I know how difficult it can be for the whole family to deal with something like this and especially during a time when you thought the most you would worry about was the details of your wedding day. I cannot imagine what you are going through, and can only send you many many *HUGS*

You said something about wanting to go to the courthouse...have you thought about doing that now, and still having your October wedding? That way, you could ensure that your Dad could be there (before any necessary procedures), and you would have that special memory with him and your new DH.

Again...you and your family will def. be in my thoughts and prayers...

 

[Blackpaw]

Just wanted to add my sympathies and *hugs* for you. Such a hard situation. It really brings home how frivolous wedding planning is when you break it into its little components. But remember its a marriage you''re really planning for and that is a special thing, no matter which way your dad can share in it, it will be special to all of you. Here''s my fingers crossed that he will be able to be there to share in it in person, but i dont doubt he''ll be there in spirit no matter what. *hugs* again.

 

[joflier]

(((Hugs to you)))
I hope everything goes well for you. Just take the rest of the time of your wedding planning and your big day and don''t stress about the small things, just enjoy the happiness and good times with the people you love! That''s what its all about.

 

[octbride2be]

hi everyone -
thank you so much for all of your heartfelt support.....it really just means so much! I agree with everyone - I need to keep a part of me and celebrate this day. I know it will be amazing no matter what ---- I just wont worry about whether there are flowers in the ladies room and personalized drink stirrers with our names on it I am so so blessed to have my fiance - he has been just so wonderful through this entire process and it is such a testament to what a wonderful person he is and what a rock he is to me.

I know that a lot of good comes from bad and at this point its all in god''s hands!

Thank you! I look forward to hearing about all of your wonderful days and will keep you all in the loop with how our planning is going

 

[lliang_chi]

OctBride,

I''m sorry to hear about your father. I hope you stay positive and through this ordeal, I know it sounds much easier than it is. But I''m also sure your father is excited about your wedding as well, and I hope both of you can enjoy your day together. Stay positive and my thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I am so sorry hun. Tons of ((HUGS)) and PS dust. We''re always here if you need to talk and I''ll keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[dreaming of the day]

Wow, I am sooo sorry to hear about your father. I know this is going to change the day you have envisioned, but perhaps you can have a videographer tape everything so your dad won''t miss a thing. Or this may sound really weird but I think it could really work...you could have a laptop with a webcam (which if you don''t have I am sure friends would let you borrow) for each of you, and when the daddy/daughter dance comes on you can hold the laptop and dance with your father and he can hold it and dance with you. It may not be what you ideally envisioned but it is a way that you can still share the dance with your father. You could also have it plugged in for speeches and have speakers hooked up to it so your father can make a speech to his little girl. That''s what I would do, because neither of you are missing out on one anothers company - maybe corny but the memories would last a lifetime!

 

[octbride2be]

wow- that is a GREAT idea. Hopefully it wont come to that but if it does that would be a great way to keep him included! Thank you

 

[dreaming of the day]

Date: 9/3/2008 2:28:56 PM
Author: octbride2be
wow- that is a GREAT idea. Hopefully it wont come to that but if it does that would be a great way to keep him included! Thank you

I really hope it doesnt come to that too! I wish you, your family, and your father strength during this time.

 

[marchswallowbird]

Octbride, I am so, so sorry for what you and your family must be going through. I think you''re received some fabulous ideas for your wedding. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[pjean]

I''m so sorry to hear about your father. It''s definitely true that there will be ways to deal with whatever circumstances you find as your wedding day draws closer - PSers are never short of inspiration. If you can manage to cross that off your list of worries, that would be good.

In the mean time though, take care of yourself a little, ok? I imagine that the stress on your family right now is pretty intense. A little quality time alone with your FI every once in a while, even if all you manage to do is cry in a safe place, might be a good thing.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

 

[doodle]

i''m so sorry to hear that! loads of PS dust and well wishes for both of you!

 

[diamondfan]

I am so sorry. Lung cancer is really scary. Did they catch it early enough to treat it?

I am sending prayers your way.