Need some cat advice...

[Callisto]

Hello PS animals lovers, I need some advice. This is kind of a complicated situation but I''ll try to make this as short as possible, but please read it as I really need some guidance. I need advice concerning what to do with my cat.

When I was 16 my parents told me I could get a cat, so we visited the local shelter (one of those ones within petsmart) and I saw this beautiful 1 year old Siamese/domestic short hair mix with bright blue eyes. (I don''t have any pics at the moment on this computer but I''ll try to upload one later). They told me she had just come in and had just been spayed. I couldn''t hold her because of her recent surgery but I got to pet her in the cage and she seemed very sweet and calm (duh she was on a ton of pain meds). My biggest concern when getting a cat was it needed to be good around dogs, as we had a big dog at the time and I knew I wanted more in the future, so they allowed us to bring our dog in and see how she reacted. So we brought him in and she was super chill about it (ditto earlier duh). Now 16 year old me had never experienced pets on meds and had no idea what a huge effect it could have on her personality so lo and behold I end up with a cat that is very timid and TERRIFIED of dogs.

So all through high school and part of college she lived at home with my parents and me and almost never came downstairs (our dog didn''t go upstairs)and spent most her time under a bed, I have no idea what happened to her before she came to me but she''s very easy to spook. That being said she is a VERY sweet cat. She never bites or scratches but will only come near you if you are sitting or laying down but will then snuggle with you forever. My jr year of college I was able to take her to school with me to live in my small apartment and she was a totally different cat. She felt so much safer away from the dog and in a small space where she knew a bed to hide under was only one room away. She still spooks easily but would at least come out to visit much more often and would play and be silly. I graduated last year and she is currently still living at that apartment with my former roommates and still doing well as she adjusts fairly easily to most people. However they too are graduating this May and I don''t know what to do with her right now. Below are my current options and pros and cons:

1-Bring her back to my parents house where I no longer live. My mom thinks she is developing an allergy to cats though and I know Naomi really doesn''t like living in that big of a house where people are barely home.

2-Bring her across the country to Texas where I currently live. I would love to have her with me again but that presents two problems. a) I''m probably moving in with someone who has a cat down here already and I have no idea how she''d react to another cat but she''s scared of most things that move so I''m a bit skeptical and b)I still know there are dogs in my future (within 5 years and she''s only 8 now) and don''t want to put her through that again.

3-Try to find her a better forever home where she will be happy forever. I''m happy to foster her while a humane society helps me find a home for her, I would never put her back in a kennel. But I know how difficult it is to find a home for an adult cat especially a home without dogs, kids, a lot of space, or potentially other cats. I really just want her to be happy forever though. Dogs are one of my few passions in life, I really will not be happy if I have to wait until she dies (up to or more than 10 years) to get a dog. My cousin recently got a dog even though her cat hates them and the cat almost never leaves their bedroom. I refuse to do that to her.

Thoughts? Advice? Other ideas? Anyone want my cat haha?

 

[TooPatient]

Hi Callisto.

First, it is great that you are thinking about all of this now. It sounds like you and Naomi are not a good fit. She needs a home where she can relax and be happy.

Are any of your old roommates who are graduating going somewhere Naomi would be happy? She already knows them so it would be worth asking.

Talk to the cat rescue in Petsmart. We adopted Sven from one of them 18 months ago and it is in the contract that if we ever decide he isn''t working out in our home we will contact them and they will find a better match for him. Our locat Petsmart is really good with adult cats too.
I think they even work with matching nervous cats like yours with older people who need a quiet lap cat.


Would I like to adopt your kitty? If I didn''t have a dog, absolutely.


Good luck. You and your kitty both deserve to be happy.

 

[Callisto]

Thanks TooPatient,

The two roommates who I would gladly have Naomi live with are both currently in houses with dogs when not at school, unfortunately. The one has expressed interest in having her but she''s living at home with two non-cat friendly dogs. My dog was old, blind, and cat friendly and like I said she was terrified of him so that won''t work.

I''ve thought about recontacting the humane society, the only thing that worries me about that was that my parents would be the foster home and Naomi hates it there so that home does not showcase her personality at all. I''ve even thought of having the roommate currently in charge of Naomi take videos of her to show potential owners so they can see what she''s really like in a smaller home. I think an older person in a small condo would be the perfect match for Naomi, I just don''t know of any.

She really is a great cat, just not at all the kind of cat that fits my lifestyle. She loves to snuggle and will talk to you and purrs at the touch of a button. It''s so difficult though because you can tell she loves to be around people, she''s just scared of them at the same time (I''m assuming some result of previous abuse). Ugh I feel like a bad owner but I really just want her to be happy. I posted this picture on a thread before, doesn''t show how pretty she is but definitely shows her silly side (I put her toy in the box, btw).

 

[Callisto]

Any other thoughts of words of advice? I could really use some more opinions. Thanks!

 

[yssie]

I would definitely ask the current tenants if any of them have no future plans involving dogs and would be interested in keeping her, and ask around about other people - you just never know! It really isn't fair to take her back to your parents' house, where you know she'll be scared out of her wits most of the time. If you're not sure how she deals with cats perhaps take her to your local shelter and see how she fares... it's mostly an animal-by-animal deal, but you may get some idea. Just an idea - could she be okay with smaller dogs, but not larger ones? Only other male or female animals?


I will say that I think that unless something else works out, best idea is to take her to your new place in Tx and give up the idea of acquiring any dogs that she is uncomfortable with. Harsh reality, perhaps, but you chose to adopt her, to care for her physically and emotionally as best you can for the rest of her life (why didn't the shelter tell you!?! What are they doing, adopting out animals without an observation period first!! Why didn't you/your parents take her back in the first few weeks when you first noticed the issue? Oh well, too late now

.. shelters with poor adoption policies and practices are infuriating

) and your first responsibility must be toward her and her well-being - and if that means not having any dogs at home for the remainder of her life with you, then that's what it means. Putting aside her needs for your wants after you've accepted responsibility for her isn't fair to her at all.

 

[Callisto]

Well our dog actually passed away last year so she''s not quite a timid in my parents house as she used to be. And it''s not like the dog was tormenting her or anything she just didn''t like to come downstairs where he was very often. It''s really not that she''s trembling in fear the whole time, she just doesn''t get as much socialization as I''d like. She was scared of my rat when I had it so I''m guessing smaller dogs wouldn''t make a difference. I''m just wondering if she would recognize another cat as her own species and therefore not be as scared of it.

And I like the idea of bringing her to TX but the person we''re planning to live with (and I don''t have a whole lot of options due to finances- I can''t afford to live with just SO) has a cat too. So she may be just as miserable in Texas.

And about us adopting and keeping her- a) the shelter did tell us she was ok with dogs, they clearly didn''t know and just wanted her to get adopted so they said she was good with them. b) we were continually told by friends and the shelter that she would get accustomed to the house and the dog - so we kept waiting. She''s the only cat I''ve ever had and I didn''t know what they were like as far as acclimating goes. It was a year before I realized that that was as good as it was going to get as far as her comfort. and like I mentioned before I was also 16 when I got her, not exactly in the same level of knowledge when it came to pets as I am now. I have lived and learned.

 

[HVVS]

She sounds like a sweetie. I'd keep her, out of loyalty, and postpone the dog.

Try contacting a Siamese rescue and see if someone there can help. You might get more cat-savvy adopters that way. Maybe someone who works with rescue cats can give you some pointers on how to get them to readjust to a multi-cat household. I'd try to place her through a Meezer rescue, not through any local animal shelter. The shelters really don't screen the adopters or the animals. And they make money selling mature cats to be used for A&P class dissections. So you just know that any older cat that's turned in there and has behavioral issues of any kind whatsoever will get euth'd immediately. Sad but true. The adoption rate for mature cats kill shelters is abysmally low.

 

[waterlilly]

I''ve got no advice.
You do what your moral compass directs you to.

My opinion - when you get a pet, you commit to it for life.

People who "rehome" their pets because the don''t "fit their lifestyle anymore"...not sure it''s a good idea for me to post what I think of them.

You think the humane society is going to "find a good home for her" while you foster her? Why? Why would they take on that responsibility? Are you going to pay them for their time?

 

[waterlilly]

Date: 3/10/2010 12:25:45 PM
Author: TooPatient
Hi Callisto.


First, it is great that you are thinking about all of this now. It sounds like you and Naomi are not a good fit. She needs a home where she can relax and be happy.


Are any of your old roommates who are graduating going somewhere Naomi would be happy? She already knows them so it would be worth asking.


Talk to the cat rescue in Petsmart. We adopted Sven from one of them 18 months ago and it is in the contract that if we ever decide he isn''t working out in our home we will contact them and they will find a better match for him. Our locat Petsmart is really good with adult cats too.

I think they even work with matching nervous cats like yours with older people who need a quiet lap cat.



Would I like to adopt your kitty? If I didn''t have a dog, absolutely.



Good luck. You and your kitty both deserve to be happy.

FYI - that contract is to protect the cat from someone giving him away irresponsibly or re-selling him. It is NOT in any way intended as a lifelong "out" for people to use at anytime and simply give a pet back because they don''t want it anymore. Rescues put that in their contracts in the event that they make a mistake and adopt to the wrong person - at least the animal will end up back in their hands and not in another dead-beat home. Within a couple months, you are either a good match or you aren''t.

 

[Callisto]

Ok I didn''t post this to get judged. Naomi never fit my lifestyle but I kept her because I had committed to her. Once I had her in the apartment at school I realized how much happier she could be and want her to have that life permanently, not just for 2 years. I don''t see how leaving her with my parents in a house that makes her nervous or bringing her to Texas to probably end up quarantined in one room because she''s scared of another cat seems like a more responsible decision than trying to find a home that she would be truly happy in.

And yes I would hope that a humane society could help me find a home that is a better fit for her. I would be using none of their resources except time. I volunteered consistently at that humane society for 2 years and have fostered for them as well so it''s not like I haven''t given to them as well.

I''m not looking for an "out" I''m looking for a way to make her as happy as possible and I just don''t think that the answer is with me.

 

[yssie]

If you decide to take her..this is probably going to sound really kooky, but my very unkooky FILs swear by it//


They have a dog B. B is very, very independent, complete alpha dog, loves being the centre of attention, doesn't share well, doesn't play well with other animals... They were planning on fostering another dog M. They were told to prepare B for M's arrival by saying "B, M's coming!" very excitedly and petting her and giving her treats to make this "M" seem like a good thing. They were apparently totally skeptical but tried it anyway, and when M came she was fine! They had been expecting growling and possibly fighting, but there were no problems at all.


We tried the same on our two cats when we were introducing the third, and they get along fabulously now, but neither of our cats had major issues with other animals in the first place so I'm not sure they wouldn't have been just fine regardless.

 

[Callisto]

Date: 3/10/2010 10:10:24 PM
Author: yssie
If you decide to take her..this is probably going to sound really kooky, but my very unkooky FILs swear by it//



They have a dog B. B is very, very independent, complete alpha dog, loves being the centre of attention, doesn''t share well, doesn''t play well with other animals... They were planning on fostering another dog M. They were told to prepare B for M''s arrival by saying ''B, M''s coming!'' very excitedly and petting her and giving her treats to make this ''M'' seem like a good thing. They were apparently totally skeptical but tried it anyway, and when M came she was fine! They had been expecting growling and possibly fighting, but there were no problems at all.



We tried the same on our two cats when we were introducing the third, and they get along fabulously now, but neither of our cats had major issues with other animals in the first place so I''m not sure they wouldn''t have been just fine regardless.

Haha thanks for the tip. I''m pretty confident she doesn''t even know her own name (probably just doesn''t care to know it... oh cats) so I''m not sure she''d get any positive association with another cat''s name haha. But that is definitely a good idea for dogs or more responsive cats.

 

[Circe]

Date: 3/10/2010 8:48:28 PM
Author: HVVS
She sounds like a sweetie. I''d keep her, out of loyalty, and postpone the dog.


Try contacting a Siamese rescue and see if someone there can help. You might get more cat-savvy adopters that way. Maybe someone who works with rescue cats can give you some pointers on how to get them to readjust to a multi-cat household. I''d try to place her through a Meezer rescue, not through any local animal shelter. The shelters really don''t screen the adopters or the animals. And they make money selling mature cats to be used for A&P class dissections. So you just know that any older cat that''s turned in there and has behavioral issues of any kind whatsoever will get euth''d immediately. Sad but true. The adoption rate for mature cats kill shelters is abysmally low.

Ditto to every word from HVVS.

I respect that you have the conflicting desire to do what''s best for your cat and to also have a pet with whom you really bond, and I can see that you understand that the first bit definitely takes priority. Given that, a breed-specific rescue really seems like your best bet, and if you''re willing to wait as long as it takes to place Naomi with someone who will really love her (she sounds like the perfect cat for an less active person who wants a loyal, cuddly pet), I don''t see a problem. But in the meantime, don''t get frustrated - you want to be certain that you find the right place for her. Given how young you were when you adopted her, I think your parents will agree and help out, yes?

 

[y2kitty]

I have two cats. The older one never seemed to care for other cats. Then my sister moved back home with her cat, who sounds a lot like Naomi (he is very timid, hides under the bed). He loves other cats, and relates well to her, though she is a little old and cranky for him. The old cat HATES dogs. When my sister would bring over her Doberman she''d hide or hiss. A few years ago I took care of someone''s puppy for the weekend. The attached picture is something I walked in on. I never thought I would see the two of them being good with a dog. If I were in your position I''d take her to Texas and see if she doesn''t like the roomie''s cat. And then, down the road, I''d get a puppy so she establish her dominace from day 1 with the dog. I mean, there''s nothing stopping you from taking her to Texas and if things are horrible contacting a rescue right?

 

[Maria D]

Random thoughts based on my many years with many cats...
--Don't assume a skittish cat was abused. One of my cats was adopted from a shelter when he was 8 weeks old. He was with all his littermates cowering in the corner while the other kitty-siblings charmed us all. There's no way one kitten from a litter was abused (and the rest were not). He was born a scaredy-cat. We adopted him because the other ones were snapped up in a hurry. He spent the first 4 years of his life hiding from us and the next few tolerating us. Now he's 11 and he's the biggest suck-up ever!
--That brings me to: cats can change over time, even if the environment doesn't. Another of my cats, adopted as an adult from the same shelter, started getting cuddly only a couple of years ago. We've had her for 8 years.
--You never know which cats will get along. When we brought home Mr. Scaredy (see above) he was terrified of us humans, who wanted nothing more than to cuddle him, but sought out my old-lady cat (yet another one). She would hiss at him with such vehemence that she would cough up fur-balls. Yet, he followed her around like a love-sick puppy until she finally relented and let him curl up next to her as she slept.

What's the deal with mom's emerging allergy? If she really is going to suffer then it's not an option. But if you're not sure, I think it's worth trying. The dog is gone, your cat has become more confident around people, it could work out. If not, I would certainly try moving her to Texas and see how she gets along with the other cat. I feel that rehoming should be an absolute last resort.

 

[Callisto]

Thanks HVVS and Circe,

I would definitely NEVER surrender her to a local animal shelter. If I did give her up I would want to work WITH a humane society to find a better home for her (mainly just because they have people coming to them who want to add another pet into their lives). A breed specific rescue is a good idea. Idk how pure of siamese she is. She has very siamese markings but is definitely a mix as she is much fluffier and has softer features than a purebred siamese.

My parents will definitely help out as much they can. Like I mentioned above my mom has started to have minor allergic reactions to Naomi when she''s home so she can''t stay there forever but they would never just abandon her either. My main concern with them fostering her though is that if a potential adopter came to visit they wouldn''t see her great personality. Then again though, she''s pretty nervous around strangers no matter where she is so it might not matter. I guess they''d just have to take my word for it and possibly even take her for a couple week trial to really see her funny and affectionate side. I found a better picture of her, not great but better. She has bright blue eyes too which don''t really come across here.

 

[Callisto]

Here''s the picture.

 

[yssie]

She''s gorgeous

 

[y2kitty]

She''s beautiful.

 

[Callisto]

Thanks - she really is sweet, I wouldn''t think of giving her up if I didn''t think it meant an improvement in her quality of life! And in response to some of your ideas. I''m all for bringing her to Texas and seeing how it goes (which means committing to a 16 hour drive in one day by myself - and I''m still all for doing that) the only downside is that I then lose the assistance of the humane society I got her from which I know and trust. But I agree, relocation is a last ditch option so perhaps its worth that negative feature.

 

[decodelighted]

The cat is *yours*, not your parents''. I''d take the cat to TX & not *assume* she won''t get along with the roommate''s cat. And, as someone who had two seemingly healthy, well kept cats die at 8yrs old, I wouldn''t assume she''ll still be with you when you''re in a position to adopt a dog -- OR -- that she would necessarily be as frightened of a new dog (especially a puppy) as she was originally.

There are relatively few homes for skittish older cats that need to be an "only pet". The people who would be open to cats like that are generally already pet lovers & have some already. To be blunt, you''re very likely the best shot she has for a relatively happy rest of her life. Don''t fool yourself that there are all these other great places for her to be. JMHO

 

[Callisto]

Date: 3/10/2010 11:28:17 PM
Author: decodelighted
The cat is *yours*, not your parents''. I''d take the cat to TX & not *assume* she won''t get along with the roommate''s cat. And, as someone who had two seemingly healthy, well kept cats die at 8yrs old, I wouldn''t assume she''ll still be with you when you''re in a position to adopt a dog -- OR -- that she would necessarily be as frightened of a new dog (especially a puppy) as she was originally.


There are relatively few homes for skittish older cats that need to be an ''only pet''. The people who would be open to cats like that are generally already pet lovers & have some already. To be blunt, you''re very likely the best shot she has for a relatively happy rest of her life. Don''t fool yourself that there are all these other great places for her to be. JMHO

I do realize the lack of those types of homes which is why I would keep her with me while searching for this rare better home for her. I''m in no way abandoning her and assuming she''ll go into good hands eventually, I know better than that.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 3/10/2010 11:32:19 PM
Author: Callisto

Date: 3/10/2010 11:28:17 PM
Author: decodelighted
The cat is *yours*, not your parents''. I''d take the cat to TX & not *assume* she won''t get along with the roommate''s cat. And, as someone who had two seemingly healthy, well kept cats die at 8yrs old, I wouldn''t assume she''ll still be with you when you''re in a position to adopt a dog -- OR -- that she would necessarily be as frightened of a new dog (especially a puppy) as she was originally.
There are relatively few homes for skittish older cats that need to be an ''only pet''. The people who would be open to cats like that are generally already pet lovers & have some already. To be blunt, you''re very likely the best shot she has for a relatively happy rest of her life. Don''t fool yourself that there are all these other great places for her to be. JMHO

I do realize the lack of those types of homes which is why I would keep her with me while searching for this rare better home for her. I''m in no way abandoning her and assuming she''ll go into good hands eventually, I know better than that.

Say you do find a "rare good home" -- they are just like you. They don''t know what''s coming down the pike 1 yr, 2yrs down the road. Circumstances might change for them *also*. And what makes you think that they''d have the same feelings of concern for her that you do. I mean we''d all HOPE they would -- but if YOU won''t even make sacrifices for her (delaying getting a dog) why would you assume a stranger who has just MET her would?

 

[Callisto]

Date: 3/10/2010 11:42:08 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 3/10/2010 11:32:19 PM

Author: Callisto

Date: 3/10/2010 11:28:17 PM

Author: decodelighted

The cat is *yours*, not your parents''. I''d take the cat to TX & not *assume* she won''t get along with the roommate''s cat. And, as someone who had two seemingly healthy, well kept cats die at 8yrs old, I wouldn''t assume she''ll still be with you when you''re in a position to adopt a dog -- OR -- that she would necessarily be as frightened of a new dog (especially a puppy) as she was originally.

There are relatively few homes for skittish older cats that need to be an ''only pet''. The people who would be open to cats like that are generally already pet lovers & have some already. To be blunt, you''re very likely the best shot she has for a relatively happy rest of her life. Don''t fool yourself that there are all these other great places for her to be. JMHO

I do realize the lack of those types of homes which is why I would keep her with me while searching for this rare better home for her. I''m in no way abandoning her and assuming she''ll go into good hands eventually, I know better than that.

Say you do find a ''rare good home'' -- they are just like you. They don''t know what''s coming down the pike 1 yr, 2yrs down the road. Circumstances might change for them *also*. And what makes you think that they''d have the same feelings of concern for her that you do. I mean we''d all HOPE they would -- but if YOU won''t even make sacrifices for her (delaying getting a dog) why would you assume a stranger who has just MET her would?

Well first of all my circumstances never changed. I always wanted a dog and thought I was getting a cat that was compatible with that, but after seeing a huge difference in her personality in a different environment I now realize that she could be a lot happier living elsewhere. I wouldn''t let someone who was considering having a dog in the future have her and if their circumstances did change I''d make sure they knew they could always bring her back to me.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 3/10/2010 11:28:17 PM
Author: decodelighted
The cat is *yours*, not your parents'. I'd take the cat to TX & not *assume* she won't get along with the roommate's cat. And, as someone who had two seemingly healthy, well kept cats die at 8yrs old, I wouldn't assume she'll still be with you when you're in a position to adopt a dog -- OR -- that she would necessarily be as frightened of a new dog (especially a puppy) as she was originally.

There are relatively few homes for skittish older cats that need to be an 'only pet'. The people who would be open to cats like that are generally already pet lovers & have some already. To be blunt, you're very likely the best shot she has for a relatively happy rest of her life. Don't fool yourself that there are all these other great places for her to be. JMHO

What she said.

I have a three year old cat, Lucy (my AV) that we rescued and fostered. Problem? She's one that needs to be an only cat. Guess what? No takers, and she's mine now. She's just my 'extra bedroom kitty ' because she doesn't mix with my other 3... is it ideal? No. But she's mine and my responsibility and after 18 months of being with me she's ATTACHED and it was just too much to re-home her.

As for your kitty, there are animal behavioralists and rehabers that you can call to help you, there is Feliway and rescue remedy to calm her. And worse comes to worse, she lives in your bedroom and that's it. Better than a cage. If you get a dog, it doesn't go in the bedroom near her.

I'm sorry hon, but... if you want dogs, you should have just put her up for adoption when you found out it wouldn't work. My Duncan is dog phobic as well and he was also billed as dog friendly be the rescue As long as we had Jett, our dog, the cat got the house at night and our bedroom during the day. Dog was kenneled at night. Again, he was my baby and mine, so we made it work. Then the dog passes away.

Callisto, you asked for advice... if you wanted us to help you justify this, we're not going to. You asked animal lovers what we'd do. Well we'd follow through on our responsbility. Period. No matter WHAT happened that you ended up with a cat that was different than you thought. Once she came home, she wasn't medicated and you could have returned her or rehomed her then. You didn't. She's yours. Stop thinking about how you were tricked and start thinking about that cat, who depends on you... how does she feel? She's never been wanted. And not even by you, now either. That's not really fair. It's not her fault she was drugged and given to you. Why should she pay for someone elses, and your, mistake.

 

[Cind11]

It doesn''t sound like she will work out at your parent''s home and finding her a new home at age 8 with her timid personality will surely be pretty difficult. I think you should take her to Texas and try to introduce her to your roommate''s cat SLOWLY. Slow introductions have always worked well for me with bringing new cats into my home. She sounds absolutely sweet and it seems to me that you are her person. It''s not like she is antisocial with you, since you said she will snuggle and purr at the touch of a button. Could you really give her up? As far as your desire for a dog, you may just have to wait. Might not be what you want to hear, but it is my opinion.

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 3/10/2010 7:45:42 PM
Author: Callisto
Any other thoughts of words of advice? I could really use some more opinions. Thanks!

Hi there!

It sounds like she is happy if she gets to live in her own room if she gets focused attention. I had a cat that liked to hide under my bed and I found it was best to be gentle but firm about taking her out from under the bed and then I just spent time with her being very gentle with her and petting her. She loved that.

She definitely had been abused. I know that for a fact. Whether your cat was or wasn't abused, I think it's good to think about the possibilities of how she can be as social as possible. I totally understand letting a cat spend time alone, being skittish, and hiding, because I used to leave this cat alone when she wanted to hide. I eventually realized I had the power to make her happier.

One of the options you mentioned is keeping her. I like this option best! If you decide to do that, maybe you can look at it as a good thing, as a new beginning for your relationship with her. If she has to live in a bedroom, but she has you to give her a routine, and to spend a little bit of time every day with just her, you might both be happy!

Good luck! I sincerely with you the best.

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 3/10/2010 8:48:28 PM
Author: HVVS
She sounds like a sweetie. I'd keep her, out of loyalty, and postpone the dog.


Try contacting a Siamese rescue and see if someone there can help. You might get more cat-savvy adopters that way. Maybe someone who works with rescue cats can give you some pointers on how to get them to readjust to a multi-cat household. I'd try to place her through a Meezer rescue, not through any local animal shelter. The shelters really don't screen the adopters or the animals. And they make money selling mature cats to be used for A&P class dissections. So you just know that any older cat that's turned in there and has behavioral issues of any kind whatsoever will get euth'd immediately. Sad but true. The adoption rate for mature cats kill shelters is abysmally low.

I totally agree with what is bolded. I believe that your first responsibility is with your cat, post-pone your dog and enjoy the life with your cat and the trust she has put in you for providing her with the best care possible. I woud take her to Texas with you, she will adjust fine - without a dog. As for other cats, it might be a blessing for her! The first cat I adopted was a 6 1/2 year old at the SPCA ( in NH, we do not have kill shelters ) and we just got another one and it was a miracle for her. She is outgoing, happy...

 

[Little Monster]

at least give Naomi a chance in Texas - you have no idea how it will go. She could get along great with the other cat. We have a very shy cat who adjusted beautifully when we inherited a cat from an elderly neighbor who died. Now they're thick as theives. And this is a cat who literally only trusts 3 people in the world enough to come out from under beds!

realize that if you rehome the cat, you will have no control over what happens then. she could be rehomed again a million times, or treated in ways you could never imagine.

adult cats face pretty daunting odds in shelters -- especially those with caveats like no dogs, or single cat, etc.

cats adapt... if she's happy in a smaller apartment where it's quiet, she will probably do just fine in a bedroom in Texas...

you probably are her best shot, as others have said.

best of luck to you & Naomi both!

ETA: since she's a purebred(?) a breed-specific rescue is an excellent idea... PLEASE give that a shot before you give up on her!!

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 3/10/2010 11:11:19 PM
Author: Callisto
Thanks HVVS and Circe,

I would definitely NEVER surrender her to a local animal shelter. If I did give her up I would want to work WITH a humane society to find a better home for her (mainly just because they have people coming to them who want to add another pet into their lives). A breed specific rescue is a good idea. Idk how pure of siamese she is. She has very siamese markings but is definitely a mix as she is much fluffier and has softer features than a purebred siamese.

My parents will definitely help out as much they can. Like I mentioned above my mom has started to have minor allergic reactions to Naomi when she''s home so she can''t stay there forever but they would never just abandon her either. My main concern with them fostering her though is that if a potential adopter came to visit they wouldn''t see her great personality. Then again though, she''s pretty nervous around strangers no matter where she is so it might not matter. I guess they''d just have to take my word for it and possibly even take her for a couple week trial to really see her funny and affectionate side. I found a better picture of her, not great but better. She has bright blue eyes too which don''t really come across here.

Purebread rescues don''t all limit themselves to strictly purebread. We adopted Sven from the Seattle Purebread Cat Rescue located in Petsmart. We don''t know if he is a purebread or a mix.

If you decide you need to find a new home for him, look into places like this. They do a great job screening people and really work to match animals to the right homes. I''ve seen many cats there that are 5-10 years old and many (most?) get adopted out. Those that don''t get to live with their foster family. They are strictly no-kill and will not "adopt" cats to people for science stuff -- even if they are willing to pay the $200ish adoption fee.