My feelings are hurt.

[2Artists]

I guess there is just one thing left to do- KILL THEM- with kindness that is. I have had some similar type situations to deal with and it really does hurt. And it does not always get better. I have come to realize (and it has taken a while for me to get to this point) that there are some people who are just plain mean and rude and there are some people who will never like me or be kind to me no matter what I do. I have come to accept that it is their loss. Hold your head up. The only thing you can control is your own behavior and your reaction. Oh and maybe you can explain it to your FI in electronics terms. I know dudes don''t tend to do these things for each other but ask him how he would feel if he bought your brothers (real or pretend) a cool electronics gift for $500. One they asked for- say a gaming system and they then gave him a nerf ball and tampons for his birthday. It would be like "thanks a lot" right?
There are a number of ways you could play it. This reminds me of a David Sedaris Santaland Diaries story. Parts of it are hi-larious. Basically a writer works as a Christmas elf in a department store and some people of course are jerks to him. As I seem to recall there is one part where some meanie tells him how dumb they think he looks in his elf costume and he pretends that they just gave him a compliment and responds in kind like "thank you thank you so much". It just kinda throws people. But this does kinda makes one want to send a fancy thank you that says "thank you so much for the lovely candy and tuna" or "thank you guys that was such a creative idea-now I know what to get you next year". Or you could call and be like "lets have a girls night in and share the lovely presents you got me". Or "come over for dinner we are having tuna and peanut butter cups for desert". Seriously I would not suggest being that snarky but it''s fun to think about. I suppose one could get away with doing a cute peanut butter cups gift for real in a cute glass jar with a big bow and a sweet card (if that is literally the best one could afford that would be really sweet). But from what you have said this is not a case of that. I would not be taking them on anymore special sprees for their birthdays however because that makes it seem like how they treated you was OK. Don''t let it be a family tradition to be treated like crap. I would get them something small and tasteful for their birthdays and save that money on a birthday present for yourself. You don''t have to change who you are because of how they are acting. Just do something tiny and classy for them in the future. And you can also think of the animal training idea of rewarding the good and ignoring the bad. It seems to works well with people too. I''m so sorry and Happy Birthday to you!

-female half 2Artists

 

[Pandora II]

I''m going to disagree with all the ''kill with kindness'' advice here.

I was very badly bullied at school and was told to ignore them, smile, if they can''t get a rise out of you they''ll stop etc etc

Well, guess what it didn''t.

In the end I discovered that standing up for myself very publically and calling them on their behaviour was the only thing that made it stop. They thought I was a wuss for just taking everything I had.

Just wish I''d ignored everyone and had a massive row about it all 4 years earlier than I did!

These two KNOW that you won''t do anything. Well, call them on it, also call their mother and ask her to pass on your thanks for the lovely can of tuna they bought you for your birthday.

 

[Circe]

Oy. Tough situation, but don''t let it spoil your b-day, your mood, or your relationship with your FSIl''s, who may be acting catty ... or who may just be bucking for the title of World''s Worst Gift-Givers.

I have a friend who really stinks with gifts. No, she REALLY stinks with gifts. Which is kinda ironic, given that I love buying things for her, and generally find her presents 6 months or a year in advance ... it always makes me feel as though it means that I love her more than she loves me, or something. But, thing is, that''s not the case: she just REALLY STINKS at buying gifts (or, for that matter, cards ... "forethought" may be the word I''m looking for here). This year, she skipped my b-day altogether: she wished me a happy b-day two days in advance "in case she forgot" day of, and then ... did, in fact, forget. This year, I opted to hold onto the present I bought for her way back last summer: it''s the happy medium between continuing to feel like an unappreciated sap, and feeling weirdly materialistic for b''tching her out for her bad manners; I think that sort of thing can lead to accusations of quid pro quo friendship.

Your FSIL''s blew it. That stinks. In the future, no more shopping trips for them unless they start reciprocating, but you''ll feel worse about it in the long run, I think, if you harbor resentment over it or take the low road of confronting them. Now, if your FI feels like stepping in and explaining the basic manners they skipped along the way, that''s another story ... but at that tenuous point of being ABOUT to become a member of the family, I don''t think I''d risk it.

 

[swingirl]

Next year I''d give them a can of pork n beans--in a paper bag. No card. No explanation. They have shown their true colors and I don''t think they deserve any kindness. Your fiance should realize the insult this was to you and treat them accordingly.

Happy birthday and I think you owe yourself a gift!

 

[mimzy]

i totally understand why your feelings are hurt, i''m sure mine would be too, but ultimately i don''t think that confronting them would do any good. at best you''ll embarrass them and at worst you''ll come off like an whiny, entitled brat. DON''T put your FI and especially his parents in the middle of it. they got you a really crappy gift - it''s not the end of the world and it''s not the worst thing that could happen. "should" they have gotten you something fabulous? i know that most people on here claim that they would NEVER expect a gift like the ones you gave them to be reciprocated, but again most of the responses you are getting are of outrage. maybe they thought it would be appreciated in a funny sense. i''m sure it wasn''t meant to be offensive. either way, i really don''t think that birthday gifts are a good way to judge the value of a friendship. are they good people? do they treat you well normally? are they generally thoughtful and considerate? if so, then what is the real problem? were you hoping that by getting them the generous gifts that it would bring you closer?

whatever you do, don''t let these girls change you. if it brings you happiness showering them with gifts then do so next year with no expectation of it being reciprocated. if you would be more comfortable with a card and a small token, do that. but don''t do something or not do something BECAUSE they got you a crappy gift. doing things out of spite doesn''t exactly do great things for your character. i hope you feel better soon!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/30/2008 8:50:58 PM
Author: Circe

but at that tenuous point of being ABOUT to become a member of the family, I don't think I'd risk it.

Risk what? I'm sorry, but this just offends me.

Risk not being treated like an after thought and unworthy of basic courtesy and kindness! They already have a low opinion of her, else they wouldn't have behaved this way. What's she got to risk?

The implication in that statement is that in order to get a proposal, she has to put up with being treated like crap. What???? NO proposal is worth your self-respect.

There's nothing to risk here. I'm with Pandora. Let them have it... politely while maintaining your dignity, but put them in their place... and don't wait till next year. If this was a one time thing, I'd say okay wait till next year. BUT FOUR YEARS!!!

Send them a thank you note telling them that you are sure some cat at the shelter you donated the tuna to will enjoy the meal.

And NO gifts. Cards (not the 5 dollar kind either, 99 cents).

I agree with MZ, the full sister has more class.

I wouldn't involve the parents. Clearly they are a lost cause from the sounds of their children (including your BF, sorry to say).

 

[2Artists]

I should clarify that I was being facetious about the phrase "kill them with kindness". I do not think she should just put up with it. What I meant was I don''t think she should sink down to their level if they are being cruel on purpose. Some people though do enjoy getting a rise out of people just for the heck of it and it can be better to ignore them. Some people do need a talking to so they know that you will not be pushed around and that you mean business. It depends on the person and it complicates matters if the people are inlaws.

 

[mimzy]

you know i love all of you PS'ers, but come on!

giving crappy birthday gifts does not make these people horrible or "unworthy of kindness". seriously! friendship is not something that you "bestow" on someone who is "worthy", and then take it away because they become undeserving over BAD PRESENTS. and quite frankly, i'd take the friend who gave crappy presents over someone who pulled that sort of crap any day.

someone gave a bad present. THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL! how incredibly offensive and insulting! just because they gave bad gifts doesn't mean that they hate her, treat her poorly, don't respect her, whatever. i'm sure they thought it was funny and cute. it fell flat. it's not a felony.

and oh yeah, it was a GIFT. how many times do people get ripped into over on BWW for complaining about a 'thoughtless' gift they were given? just because the OP gave them lots of $$$ does that mean that she automatically ENTITLED to a big gesture?

we know nothing of their day to day behavior and it's pretty irresponsible to judge their character based SOLELY on their gifts. common courtesy dictates that they acknowledge her birthday; they did. unbunch your collective panties!

reminds me of this. scroll to #101

 

[laine]

A thoughtless gift is one thing, but this is so bizarre and beyond comprehension that I have to wonder if there is some sort of mental illness going on. Not sure what exactly, but no one in their right mind could think a can of tuna is an ok gift.

 

[TravelingGal]

OK, this is not a "bad gift." It's not a gift at all. It's GROCERIES.

Can of tuna? Contents go under the floor mat of their car when they're not looking.

Reeses? Under their bum on a hot day. It will look like they are having their period and sh*t in their pants at the same time.

And don't waste the bag. Wrap it around their heads when they are sleeping.

 

[dianne]

Date: 5/30/2008 9:38:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, this is not a 'bad gift.' It's not a gift at all. It's GROCERIES.

Can of tuna? Contents go under the floor mat of their car when they're not looking.

Reeses? Under their bum on a hot day. It will look like they are having their period and sh*t in their pants at the same time.

And don't waste the bag. Wrap it around their heads when they are sleeping.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-a-a-aaaa!!! Hysterical!

ETA--OMG! Goldfish--I forgot to say how sorry I am this happened....and I really am. I was stunned to see you received such an awful gift, then infuriated by just how mean it was, then overwhelmed with delight at TGal's response. Even if you aren't the type to "get back" at someone you gotta admit TGal does present a nice list to think about while you smirk...er, I mean smile...to their faces.

 

[goldfish]

I just want to make it clear that I didn''t mention the amount that I spent on their gifts in order to compare the strict monetary value given and received. I would never compare how expensive a gift I get is with what I have given in the past. I was just trying to send the message (in a kind of short hand way) that I have been making an effort in their direction. I do a lot that has nothing to do with money. I help the younger one with her papers, I take them to the doctor when they are sick, I sat up with the older one when her fiance dumped her. I just didn''t have the patience to spell it all out in my first post.

I, personally, don''t "evaluate friendships" through gifts in my normal life. However, gift giving is a very big part of their culture, and it is a very public thing. (They are Moroccan Jews.) Just to give you an example, before they get married, the have a party called a henna. At the end of the party, the guests come and give the couple their gifts, which are opened and shown in front of the whole crowd. (The first time I saw that I was very surprised!) Expensive gifts are really standard for them, and they are always shown off and talked about. The younger one had her birthday on Monday. She is in her early twenties, and she and her friends are all in college. (Her sister and I are only three years older.) The gifts she got were all passed around and displayed, and the prices of the items were openly inquired about and discussed and passed around for everyone to admire. Among them were a $1000 Dior bag and $250 of Dior makeup. This is just the way that they do it. It''s perfectly normal for someone to ask, out loud, how much the gift cost and for the crowd to be told. It''s just cultural, I guess. I''m half Japanese, so I can assure you that''s not the way I was raised! So that''s why the symbolism of the tuna can is so poignant to me. They know that I am trying to do things their way, hence the emphasis on the gifts. I don''t want to receive something because I''m greedy and I want something big. I can buy whatever I want for myself whenever I want to. I am simply looking for signs that I am being accepted and that my efforts to adapt to their way of doing things is being recognized!

Mimzy, I would LOVE to interpret this as a "funny and cute" gesture, but in the cultural context, I have a very hard time to manage that! Believe me, I am much more shocked than angry. You mention their day to day behavior. I wish I could say that this is completely out of character. But it isn''t. The treatment I have received from them since they became aware of my presence has ranged from slightly poor to aggressive IN PRIVATE. But there has never been anything this blatant and open before. I''m just VERY surprised that such an event would occur now, after they''ve gotten to know me, and not at the beginning of the relationship. I was trying so hard to fit in and show them that I''m not a bad person, despite the fact that I''m a half Japanese Gentile. I thought I was getting somewhere, but obviously not.

 

[angeline]

Date: 5/30/2008 9:38:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, this is not a ''bad gift.'' It''s not a gift at all. It''s GROCERIES.


Can of tuna? Contents go under the floor mat of their car when they''re not looking.


Reeses? Under their bum on a hot day. It will look like they are having their period and sh*t in their pants at the same time.


And don''t waste the bag. Wrap it around their heads when they are sleeping.

Priceless. Seriously perfect if you''re wanting revenge.

I''m sorry this happened. Happy Birthday to you, I hope you figure out what''s right for you to do..

 

[goldfish]

Swingirl,

Oooo pork and beans! That would be baaaaad! (They keep sort of kosher.)

But maybe I''ll dream about it tonight and it will make me feel better!

Actually, just talking about it with you guys makes me feel better. I was feeling so down, because I kind of just realized that I''m marrying into a family that hates me. I knew that they hated me at first, but I thought if they got to know me as a person it would be different. I know I said that before, but I guess that''s really the alpha and omega (if I may use the expression!) of the story for me. And the tuna is like a physical expression of my outrageous failure.

 

[goldfish]

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I have never met any of you, but I''m very touched. I''m not normally a sentimental person, but I hope my appreciation for all your kind words (and animations!) comes through in this post.

 

[Bia]

HELLL NOOOOOO!!!!

Okay, you cleared everything up for me. What you got in that plastic Duane Read shopping bag was not a gift--I REPEAT, NOT A GIFT! A crappy gift would have been a cheap little gift bag with a bag of Receese (I don''t know how to spell Receese) inside. Cheap yes, insulting, maybe...

Sorry, for those of you who don''t agree (I can''t seem to keep my internet-mouth shut with this thread!), but I must say it. It has nothing to do with being a crappy gift-giver. From your last post it is obvious these "ladies" are used to receiving the finer things in life--EVEN FROM YOU! What they gave you was a deliberate sign as to know they see you. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR GIVING SOMEONE A CAN OF TUNAFISH (unless its a practical joke, followed by something EXTRAORDINARY)...do you understand that point? No excuse.

Honey, you need to work your courage up and make FIANCE, and his sisters well aware of the fact that you are not to be treated like a piece of sh*t!!! I don''t care if its a culture thing that you don''t understand. You are nice to them, and NICE translates in any culture...they are being mean, and because you are letting them, they will continue to test you. Three sisters??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Honey, you''re a$$ is grass in this relationship if you don''t stand up for yourself.

I know a few days ago I said something about being sensitive, if only to not send PSers running for the hills, but it this case, I am so livid, I can''t help myself...and its not even happening to me!

I wasn''t yelling, really...

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Happy Birthday (belated) I''m sorry it turned out so badly.

It really sounds like these girls are playing you. You took them shopping for their birthday and they picked out $500 gifts? What kind of person does that? If someone took me shopping and told me to pick a gift, there is no way in h e double l that I would pick a gift costing that much, even if I knew they could afford it!
It sounds like the tuna was a slap in the face. I''m sorry they were so mean to you but they are totally not worth any more of your time or effort. Just because you are dating their half brother does not mean you have to be friends.
And they told your boyfriend they bought you tuna because you like tuna salad, and he believes them! Is he really that dense or is he just trying to keep the peace?
You could tell them your feelings are hurt, but I bet that''s exactly what they were trying to do.

 

[Deelight]

Date: 5/30/2008 10:07:12 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 5/30/2008 9:38:59 PM

Author: TravelingGal

OK, this is not a 'bad gift.' It's not a gift at all. It's GROCERIES.


Can of tuna? Contents go under the floor mat of their car when they're not looking.


Reeses? Under their bum on a hot day. It will look like they are having their period and sh*t in their pants at the same time.


And don't waste the bag. Wrap it around their heads when they are sleeping.

HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL if you want to be really vindictive I suggest the prawns in the curtain rod trick

What they did was terrible and not nice you should not have to stand for that kind of treatment.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Apart from that incident I hope you had a fantastic day

 

[FrekeChild]

Oh goldfish, I'm sorry they're treating you like...what a Reese's cup would look like on a hot day on the seat of someone's pants. You deserve better. I'm not sure what I'd do, but it certainly wouldn't be anything nice or anything that could be construed as nice.

Happy Birthday!! Go buy yourself some shoes or a purse, or something super nice.

And I really like the idea of dumping a certain can of a certain fish on a fabric part of their car(s) on a hot day, or in a hidden corner of a bedroom...heck-the CLOSET...

ETA: I really really really like the prawns in the curtain rod. That sounds fantastic.

And what did your FI give you for your birthday?

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I am going to have to agree with TravelingGal's suggestions on this one...their "gift" was thoughtless and rude. Yes, it is the thought that counts, but there was no thought put into this. Candy? Maybe. But who the heck gives someone (other than a cat) a can of tuna as a gift?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/30/2008 10:48:24 PM
Author: FrekeChild

And I really like the idea of dumping a certain can of a certain fish on a fabric part of their car(s) on a hot day, or in a hidden corner of a bedroom...heck-the CLOSET...

...and stick it somewhere VERY HARD TO REACH...that way they can smell it, just can''t find it.

Or even a hunk of really stinky cheese...so they can''t implicate you by putting tuna and tuna together...unless you want them to, of course

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/30/2008 10:52:48 PM
Author: Diamond*Dana
I am going to have to agree with TravelingGal's suggestions on this one...their 'gift' was thoughtless and rude. Yes, it is the thought that counts, but there was no thought put into this. Candy? Maybe. But who the heck gives someone (other than a cat) a can of tuna as a gift?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

It wasn't thoughtless...it was full of thought, but not thoughtFUL. Unless these women are super dumb, I don't see how giving a gift like this can be anything but purposeful. It reeks of malice.

Even if there is something you are not telling us...like if you are a horrible person and have treated these women terribly or something, this "gift" is still classless.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/30/2008 10:12:29 PM
Author: goldfish
Swingirl,

Oooo pork and beans! That would be baaaaad! (They keep sort of kosher.)

But maybe I''ll dream about it tonight and it will make me feel better!

Actually, just talking about it with you guys makes me feel better. I was feeling so down, because I kind of just realized that I''m marrying into a family that hates me. I knew that they hated me at first, but I thought if they got to know me as a person it would be different. I know I said that before, but I guess that''s really the alpha and omega (if I may use the expression!) of the story for me. And the tuna is like a physical expression of my outrageous failure.

Does you know why his family hates you?

I don''t know...I''d be less than excited to marry into a family that hates me, especially if my fiance refused to stand up for me in the face of what, with your further explanations, is clearly an insult from them.

Also, I don''t think them hating you has to do with a failure on your part-I think it has to do with them being immature, petty and ridiculous.

 

[VRBeauty]

I may be wayyy off base here, but I gotta ask -- are $500 birthday gifts to friends the norm in your circle? And how old are these FISLs? The reason I ask is that it would be very unusual in my circle. In fact, $500 birthday gifts to even an SO. sibling, sibling, or parent would be unusual except for very special occasions.

The reason I ask is that receiving such a costly gift from a friend might make me a little uncomfortable. And if I were younger, and didn''t have the skills to convey that appropriately....

As I said, I''m probably way off base, and I''m not trying to excuse of condone your FSILs'' behavior. However, your opening paragraph really got my attention.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Im with Freke and Pandora about calling them out in public. If giftgiving is so big in their culture, that should bring some of the attention they deserve and probably need to reign them in.

I am marrying into a family that hates me. It sucks, but in the end, I see them a few times a year and I see my FI everyday, which makes it worth it, even if it is hard. I am glad you BF is starting to see the issue, but I also agree he has a way to go. He is going to have to act as the oeace maker between you two and that means he has to side with whoever is behaving well in the given situation.

 

[CrownJewel]

Happy birthday goldfish. I''m sorry about this stinky situation. Unfortunately, some people are just mean by nature, and often times it is masked. I was "best friends" with one in high school, went to college with SO MANY of them. They ae nice to your face, sometimes even going out of their way to take care of you when you''re sick or sad. But you can tell from the way they talk about other people, the way they ridicule and sneer at others that you should put your guard up.

I don''t think you need to waste your time trying to execute revenge. That''s not going to teach them anything, and I doubt that will make you feel any better. I DEFINITELY don''t think you should try so hard to "fit in" with them. After four years of their crap, I think you''re finally clued in to the fact that they are two-faced jerks (most New Yorkers are wonderful people, but there are some that give the rest of us a bad reputation).

It''s not your job to get them to like you. It doesn''t seem like they are trying to get you to like them. Why aren''t they trying to learn your traditions and customs? Friendships only work if both parties respect each other and give as much as they get (in terms of kindness and effort, not $$). Give the Reese''s and the tuna to your FI, Duane Reade bag and all. Does he get along with them? I''m shocked that he just stood by as this tomfoolery went on for 4 years. Maybe he doesn''t care at all for his half-sisters, and that''s why he is so indifferent to the situation. But if he loved both you and his sisters, I think it would be VERY important to him that his future wife get along with his family and he would do whatever it takes to make it work.

 

[Miranda]

Date: 5/30/2008 9:38:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, this is not a ''bad gift.'' It''s not a gift at all. It''s GROCERIES.

Can of tuna? Contents go under the floor mat of their car when they''re not looking.

Reeses? Under their bum on a hot day. It will look like they are having their period and sh*t in their pants at the same time.

And don''t waste the bag. Wrap it around their heads when they are sleeping.

OMG! TGal that is hysterical! It''s exactly what I would do! What nasty cows these girls are!

And happy birthday to you goldfish! I hope you had a nice day regardless of what those rotten wenches did.

 

[Circe]

Date: 5/30/2008 9:00:54 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 5/30/2008 8:50:58 PM

Author: Circe


but at that tenuous point of being ABOUT to become a member of the family, I don't think I'd risk it.

Risk what? I'm sorry, but this just offends me.


Risk not being treated like an after thought and unworthy of basic courtesy and kindness! They already have a low opinion of her, else they wouldn't have behaved this way. What's she got to risk?


The implication in that statement is that in order to get a proposal, she has to put up with being treated like crap. What???? NO proposal is worth your self-respect.

Woah, there! NOT what I intended at all - for one thing, for some reason I assumed that they were already engaged (because of the $500 presents, I think - I tend to reserve those for family or almost-family). No, I was thinking that with people who you're going to be spending a loooooooot of time with in the future, it's not worth it to start what could well become a feud, especially if they're oblivious by nature: those types have a nasty tendency to pull the "You're mad at me? How dare you be mad at me? I am mad at YOU for being mad at ME!" card, and personally speaking, I find it enervating, appalling, and not worth my time - I'm generally in favor of marking it and writing them off.

I don't think the OP should be anything but herself, engaged, in a LTR, or otherwise - my point was that on the off-chance that they were just crap at choosing presents, the possible flack resulting from bringing it to their attention might be more than it was worth.

But, Goldfish, given the rest of the context that you presented ... I'm just flabbergasted. Given the culture, they really ought to know better, and it really does come off as a slight. Unless they have a habit of doing this sort of thing (do they normally give "gifts" of this caliber to your BF?), it does sound like they're being deliberately rude, and my apologies for misunderstanding. Personally, I'd still stick to the model of simply writing them off, but it only works if you really can just dismiss them instantly from your personal radar. If it's going to bother you for all the rest of your time together, it's worth discussing with them. I'm flat out of funny (but the rest of the posters on the thread are more than making up for it!), but is there any chance they'd react respectfully to a genuine query, a la "Soooo .... tuna. Ladies, I'm not sure I understand. 'Splain, please?"

ETA: I did just have the somewhat catty thought ... you could just return it. Repackage it in the Duane Reade bag, toss it in a box, and mail it to them with a note saying, "Oh, I couldn't. It's just too extravagant ...." After that, ball's in their court.

 

[Bia]

I agree. At the very least, ask them what the hell was up with the birthday present.

The one thing I don''t understand is, you hang out with these girls like friends. What do they do normally? Are they just selfish and spoiled that they think its fine to play jokes like this? Someone else posed this question already: Is your fiance close to this side of his family? Sometimes half-siblings are as close as siblings who share two parents, but often times, they are not.

I am trying to understand the logic behind this but I can''t...it makes no sense other than they just don''t care. Don''t get me wrong. I come from a family that plays practical jokes and the boundaries are sort of there, but not, at the same time.

This scenario is just odd.

 

[Miranda]

Date: 5/30/2008 11:56:04 PM
Author: Bia
I agree. At the very least, ask them what the hell was up with the birthday present.

The one thing I don''t understand is, you hang out with these girls like friends. What do they do normally? Are they just selfish and spoiled that they think its fine to play jokes like this? Someone else posed this question already: Is your fiance close to this side of his family? Sometimes half-siblings are as close as siblings who share two parents, but often times, they are not.

I am trying to understand the logic behind this but I can''t...it makes no sense other than they just don''t care. Don''t get me wrong. I come from a family that plays practical jokes and the boundaries are sort of there, but not, at the same time.

This scenario is just odd.

I do too. For goodness sake, one of my Xmas presents from my parents was a coyote trap (long story, don''t ask). At least it was apropos, though. It doesn''t even sound like this gift was a thoughtful dumb joke gift.