Wedding most of the registry is gone: now what?

[mimzy]

so, my first shower is this saturday and then i have another one the second weekend in october and most of the registry is already gone! my parents keep telling me that i need to add more things to it, but we REALLY don't want more *stuff*. they reason that i can just return it, but i have a feeling that i would feel really guilty doing that (i have years worth of stuff with tags still on it because i couldn't bring myself to return gifts

). i really don't want to register for $150 vases, but they argue that we're going to get a bunch of stuff that we don't want and CAN'T return. this is the breakdown of what we have left:

<$20: 3 items
$20-40:6
$40-60: 3
$60-80: 1
$80-100: 0
$100-150: 3
$150-215: 2
**not included in the count is about $170 worth of towels that no one has bought any of yet (i guess no one likes our choice of (relatively cheap) towels!)

we have 240+ people invited to our wedding in december - what should we do? do we suck it up and register for more things? if so, in what price range? I suppose i can just put stefan in charge of returning it all.... or do you think that we're safe with what we have and that if people want to gift they will just give cash? or are we just asking for crazy crystal champagne flutes (or other equally useless-to-us things)?

ETA: our original registry was pretty big too

 

[musey]

Are all the purchased gifts presumably for the shower(s)?

Do you know how many people haven't yet purchased a gift? (some stores offer a thank-you card organizer that tells

If pretty much everyone on your guest list has already purchased a gift (say 200 of them, I guess? I don't speak big wedding!), then you'd be okay with leaving the rest with the 18 items left plus cash gifts I'd think... If a smaller portion of them (maybe under 150??) have purchased their wedding gifts already, then you need more, IMO... sadly, the return route may be your only option (I'd feel guilty about this too) other than just letting people choose off-registry (which is fine too, IMO).

...but then again I'm speaking as someone who's only received gifts from 9 of the 118 people invited to her wedding (~1 week out), so I obviously am not an expert on this!

 

[oobiecoo]

What about a honeymoon registry? Even if you have one already planned, it might be nice to have a free weekend getaway later on. I''d probably add more items or start a new fun registry at a specialty shop that guests can still access online in case they really want to give something other than cash. Do you need any furniture? Pottery barn allows multiple guests to put money towards furniture items online so you could potentially get a new sofa or bed or something.

 

[CNOS128]

oobiecoo -- the honeymoon registry is just what I was going to suggest!

mimzy - you can also register on amazon.com, and get pretty much anything - that might be fun. I have a friend who registered at an online wine store, so she got dozens of bottles of wine and champagne.
If you REALLY don''t want more stuff, you can ask people to make a donation to a charity of your choice in lieu of gifts.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/24/2008 8:49:14 PM
Author: musey
Are all the purchased gifts presumably for the shower(s)?


Do you know how many people haven''t yet purchased a gift? (some stores offer a thank-you card organizer that tells


If pretty much everyone on your guest list has already purchased a gift (say 200 of them, I guess? I don''t speak big wedding!), then you''d be okay with leaving the rest with the 18 items left plus cash gifts I''d think... If a smaller portion of them (maybe under 150??) have purchased their wedding gifts already, then you need more, IMO... sadly, the return route may be your only option (I''d feel guilty about this too) other than just letting people choose off-registry (which is fine too, IMO).

...but then again I''m speaking as someone who''s only received gifts from 9 of the 118 people invited to her wedding (~1 week out), so I obviously am not an expert on this!

that''s true...i don''t know for sure if they were all purchased for the shower (nothing was bought off of it until the shower invites went out, so i just sort of assumed!)

and i guess i did sound pretty bratty with the useless gifts comment, i didn''t mean that all off registry gifts are useless or tacky or anything! we''re just not the type to have decorative bowls out or a china/crystal cabinet, and more than anything i would feel really bad about people putting thought and spending a lot of money on something that would ultimately end up collecting dust, you know?

 

[musey]

Date: 9/24/2008 9:01:20 PM
Author: oobiecoo
Pottery barn allows multiple guests to put money towards furniture items online so you could potentially get a new sofa or bed or something.

I DIDN''T KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!! How cool!!

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/24/2008 9:01:20 PM
Author: oobiecoo
What about a honeymoon registry? Even if you have one already planned, it might be nice to have a free weekend getaway later on. I''d probably add more items or start a new fun registry at a specialty shop that guests can still access online in case they really want to give something other than cash. Do you need any furniture? Pottery barn allows multiple guests to put money towards furniture items online so you could potentially get a new sofa or bed or something.

hmmm, that might not be a bad idea! we do need furniture (or at least will eventually). i think i''ll take a look at pottery barn

but will people be put off at the idea of "contributing" to something instead of being able to pick something that they can purchase on their own?

 

[musey]

Date: 9/24/2008 9:20:47 PM
Author: mimzy
and i guess i did sound pretty bratty with the useless gifts comment, i didn''t mean that all off registry gifts are useless or tacky or anything! we''re just not the type to have decorative bowls out or a china/crystal cabinet, and more than anything i would feel really bad about people putting thought and spending a lot of money on something that would ultimately end up collecting dust, you know?

I didn''t think you sounded bratty!! Sorry to have given you that impression. I totally get it.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/24/2008 9:05:41 PM
Author: TheBigT
oobiecoo -- the honeymoon registry is just what I was going to suggest!


mimzy - you can also register on amazon.com, and get pretty much anything - that might be fun. I have a friend who registered at an online wine store, so she got dozens of bottles of wine and champagne.

If you REALLY don''t want more stuff, you can ask people to make a donation to a charity of your choice in lieu of gifts.

we''re already registered at amazon!! we have mostly outdoorsy/camping stuff and some electronics on there (and i have been eyeing the five pound bag of gummy bears that''s on there). i feel like i''ve searched the website over and over for things to put on there, but maybe i''ll have stefan take another go

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/24/2008 9:22:34 PM
Author: musey

Date: 9/24/2008 9:20:47 PM

Author: mimzy

and i guess i did sound pretty bratty with the useless gifts comment, i didn't mean that all off registry gifts are useless or tacky or anything! we're just not the type to have decorative bowls out or a china/crystal cabinet, and more than anything i would feel really bad about people putting thought and spending a lot of money on something that would ultimately end up collecting dust, you know?

I didn't think you sounded bratty!! Sorry to have given you that impression. I totally get it.

okay, just checking!! i think most people have that sentiment when registering at least to some extent!

 

[oobiecoo]

I don''t think you sounded bratty either. We''re all thankful for our guests'' generosity and don''t want to take advantage by asking them to buy something we know really won''t be used.

I wouldn''t be annoyed or anything by putting money towards a large gift... especially something like furniture. Maybe if it was a $5000 bookshelf... but something like a sofa or bed frame is important and I wouldn''t mind putting money towards that.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 9/24/2008 9:21:13 PM
Author: musey

Date: 9/24/2008 9:01:20 PM

Author: oobiecoo

Pottery barn allows multiple guests to put money towards furniture items online so you could potentially get a new sofa or bed or something.

I DIDN''T KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!! How cool!!

Okay that is AWESOME!! I may have to start a PB registry with one furniture item or something on it at some point if we run out of registry items..that is awesome.

 

[October2008bride]

Hey Mimzy - do you know whether the people from the second shower have mostly bought gifts yet? Because while I agree about the not adding useless stuff to your registry for the wedding gifts (I think if the registries are done by the wedding, people will bring cash a lot of the time), but people bring gifts to showers (unless in your culture cash is the norm).

I had 2 showers. The first one we got almost everything off our registry. The second one, people bought off-registry because there was nothing there. We got some interesting/great stuff, but we also got a lot of random stuff (please don''t take that in an ungrateful way - just an honest, where will I put two random orange juice glasses kind of helpuful way).

So if you are thinking about shower number 2, I''d register for more. Towels and sheets are good (you probably have what, 2 or 3 sets? Think about the linen closet at your mum''s house for example - you can always use more!). OR register for more at a place where you can exchange for gift card or something bigger that you want.

Again, not trying to sound greedy, just speaking from experience.

HTH.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/25/2008 9:38:12 AM
Author: October2008bride
Hey Mimzy - do you know whether the people from the second shower have mostly bought gifts yet? Because while I agree about the not adding useless stuff to your registry for the wedding gifts (I think if the registries are done by the wedding, people will bring cash a lot of the time), but people bring gifts to showers (unless in your culture cash is the norm).


I had 2 showers. The first one we got almost everything off our registry. The second one, people bought off-registry because there was nothing there. We got some interesting/great stuff, but we also got a lot of random stuff (please don''t take that in an ungrateful way - just an honest, where will I put two random orange juice glasses kind of helpuful way).


So if you are thinking about shower number 2, I''d register for more. Towels and sheets are good (you probably have what, 2 or 3 sets? Think about the linen closet at your mum''s house for example - you can always use more!). OR register for more at a place where you can exchange for gift card or something bigger that you want.


Again, not trying to sound greedy, just speaking from experience.


HTH.

thanks octbride! I''m not positive that everyone from the second shower has done most of their gift buying yet, but i am sort of assuming that they have, just based on the sheer amount of stuff that has already been bought. but yeah, i''m not sure.

linens might not be a bad idea, but we didn''t register for a decorative comforter or anything like that because i just got a new one last year and don''t really know how we are going to decorate a bedroom once we move out of my apt and buy a house. when we originally registered all we put on there were some black sheets and some white sheets because all the other colors were pastels or brown and we knew we wouldn''t have those colors. but i suppose we could register for more than one of the same set!

 

[CNOS128]

Oooh, gummy bears! Go for the gummy bears! Nothing says "Honeymoon" like gorging yourselves on 5 pounds of gelatinous sugar!

 

[Pandora II]

DH wanted to put baby stuff on ours - I told him the eyebrow raising would be horrendous!

Flatware is a good one if you don''t already have it. Ditto linens - both bedroom and dining room.

I had to update my registry 3 times so I know how it feels!

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/25/2008 11:41:54 AM
Author: Pandora II
DH wanted to put baby stuff on ours - I told him the eyebrow raising would be horrendous!

Flatware is a good one if you don''t already have it. Ditto linens - both bedroom and dining room.


I had to update my registry 3 times so I know how it feels!

aahh how horrible is it that that thought crossed my mind too?? (baby stuff!!). we registered for new every day silverware, but not the super fancy stuff.....maybe we''ll take another look at that. I really wanted to get some nice tableclothes, etc but the table i have no is a hand-me-down that is on it''s last leg and we won''t get a new one for a couple years (although we did get napkins,etc!)

 

[mimzy]

Date: 9/25/2008 11:08:11 AM
Author: TheBigT
Oooh, gummy bears! Go for the gummy bears! Nothing says ''Honeymoon'' like gorging yourselves on 5 pounds of gelatinous sugar!

haha don''t enable me!!

 

[oobiecoo]

Date: 9/25/2008 4:10:51 PM
Author: mimzy

Date: 9/25/2008 11:41:54 AM
Author: Pandora II
DH wanted to put baby stuff on ours - I told him the eyebrow raising would be horrendous!

Flatware is a good one if you don''t already have it. Ditto linens - both bedroom and dining room.


I had to update my registry 3 times so I know how it feels!

aahh how horrible is it that that thought crossed my mind too?? (baby stuff!!). we registered for new every day silverware, but not the super fancy stuff.....maybe we''ll take another look at that. I really wanted to get some nice tableclothes, etc but the table i have no is a hand-me-down that is on it''s last leg and we won''t get a new one for a couple years (although we did get napkins,etc!)

Register for one at Pottery Barn and then add in some nice tablecloths