Moral Dilemna: Newspaper Thief

[megumic]

Okay, so we've had a newspaper theft for about 4 months now. We only get the paper on Sunday when we have time to read it (and for the coupons!) and every Sunday our newspaper is gone! We tried to trouble-shoot by having the delivery person leave it on the doorstep (about 50 feet from the curb) but to no avail, no newspaper!

So this morning I woke up extra early to go to spinning class. I went out and lo and behold! A NEWSPAPER! On the front stoop no less! Well, in all my smarts I decided this was my chance to catch the darn thief. I took the parts of the paper I wanted out of the plastic bag and then stuffed any ads and the classifieds I didn't want back in and placed it neatly on the front stoop. Then I waited. WELL! Not 10 minutes later an individual I recognize walks up to the front stoop and snatches the paper! I was SO SHOCKED that I knew who he was that I couldn't even jump out from behind the front door!

Turns out it is a mentally handicapped individual who walks around town, hangs out at the train station and the public library, and has some mental limitations. On the one hand, he probably doesn't understand what he is doing. At the same time, I've been paying for a paper I don't get. Do I report it to the police? Cancel the paper and just buy it for newsstand price? I feel guilty calling the police, but I also feel frustrated that if I cancel the paper then have to go out and buy a paper every week. What would you do in this situation?? (and no, the answer is not to get up early every weekend!)

FWIW, we've already talked to the newspaper company and there is nothing more they can do. They cannot put it inside our door or elsewhere b/c they cannot touch our property.

 

[iheartscience]

Do you know where this man lives? And if he lives on his own or with a caretaker? I wouldn't call the police, but I would try to contact his caretaker if he has one and see if they can do something about it. Otherwise, I would wait for him to steal it again and say something to him when you catch him in the act.

 

[junebug17]

I think I would wait for him one morning, then confront him and very nicely tell him it's your paper and he's not allowed to take it.

 

[Kaleigh]

I think waiting for him and talking to him nicely explaining why it's wrong is a good idea. BUT who wants to wake up early and wait for this??


Me, I would take what I need from the paper, put it back in it's plastic wrap, with a note....

Dear Paper thief...

We have seen you take our paper. Taking the high road here and not reporting you... For this week, I took what I needed from my paper. Next week, I may not be so kind...

Please stop taking our paper.

Kind regards,

Your neighbor who knows where you live...

 

[charbie]

Do you know where this man lives? And if he lives on his own or with a caretaker? I wouldn't call the police, but I would try to contact his caretaker if he has one and see if they can do something about it. Otherwise, I would wait for him to steal it again and say something to him when you catch him in the act.

I agree with this. If he is living on his own, then he better well know basic rights from wrongs. And if he does have a guardian or caregiver, they really should be aware of his illegal activity. You don't know what else he may be doing while he is not under the watch of others, and it is only fair for you to report his behavior. It may only be petty theft from you, but could be other crimes committed against others.

Just like you would report this to a childs parents, you need to report this to the proper people, and if nothing is done, I would involved authorities.

 

[swingirl]

I think I would wait for him one morning, then confront him and very nicely tell him it's your paper and he's not allowed to take it.

This. He might not understand that's what he is doing is wrong.

 

[Circe]

I ... think you might be underestimating him a little. In the nicest way possible, but, still: he's sufficiently aware that he's grabbing the paper surreptitiously. Personally speaking, I'd get an online subscription and call it a day ... but if he has a caretaker, it might still be worth mentioning it to them, just because the next person might not be feeling so kind-hearted.

 

[iugurl]

Wow, that would be so irritating! I would be tempted to leave a note, but on the other hand I would want to talk to him about it face-to-face. It would depend on his level of... independence?? on how I would approach it. He really needs to be aware that it is wrong (which I am not convinced that he is unaware) not only to steal from you but from anyone. He honestly needs to pay you for what has been stolen! 4 months worth of newspaper. I know other posters have asked if he has a caregiver. I would like to know this as well.

You should not be forced to wake up early to get your own newspaper or cancel and get an online newspaper. I think if you confront him (or speak to a caregiver who will turn speak with him) nicely, it may be enough to scare him enough to stop him from stealing from anyone. If you simply cancel, he will find another newspaper to steal.

 

[Karl_K]

I would buy him a subscription of his own and have it delivered to his house.
Our paper has gift subscriptions, they deliver the first one in a wrap that says gift subscription from ......
They will allow you to put from a friend.

 

[Kaleigh]

I would buy him a subscription of his own and have it delivered to his house.
Our paper has gift subscriptions, they deliver the first one in a wrap that says gift subscription from ......
They will allow you to put from a friend.

Wait, is this Karl??? Ok marriage has mellowed you out pal... Because in the past you would NOT have been so generous... You would have said.. Put something sticky on the paper, thus leaviing the guy with sore fingers... Teaching the guy not to have sticky fingers, the 5 finger discount and the like...


Love the new Karl, but we still need you to kick some butt when needed, so stay sharp.

 

[Jennifer W]

I really like Karl's approach, not least because people with learning disabilities can be incredibly isolated within their communities and having a neighbour do something like that could be a bigger gift than just the provision of a newspaper. If you can't afford that or aren't inclined, I'd speak to him kindly but firmly about it.

Annoying to lose your Sunday paper, though! I really look forward to mine.

 

[Porridge]

Buying a subscription for him is a nice suggestion and would be a very kind thing to do. However, I have to say, if this man is living independently and is reading the papers every Sunday then I think he would probably know that what he's doing is wrong. I think the best thing to do is to either wait for him next weekend and explain to him nicely that you want your paper, that you pay for it, and that it's wrong for him to take it; or leave a note for him explaining the same and that you know it is him. It definitely is a moral dilemma though!

I am interested to see what he will do this week though. Will he notice that most of the paper had been taken out of the bag? Will that tip him off?

Maybe he has more limitations than I am guessing and maybe there is just a certain part of the paper he likes. You know yourself how severely handicapped he is - maybe ask him if there's just a certain part he likes and offer to let him take just that (if you don't want it) and leave you guys the rest of the paper.

 

[megumic]

I would buy him a subscription of his own and have it delivered to his house.
Our paper has gift subscriptions, they deliver the first one in a wrap that says gift subscription from ......
They will allow you to put from a friend.

I love this suggestion! Sadly, he takes everyone's paper, not just ours. He collects and hoards them, and then sits at the train station and reads them all day. (I'm the only one on the block who gets our paper, but DH has seen him snatch others when he walks over to the bagel shop a few blocks away. He also opens the newspaper dispensers at the train station and takes the whole stack!) So I'm not sure this would solve the problem...

I truthfully don't know how far his limitations reach. One example of his behavior that I can share is that he will come to the public library and lay down on the floor in between two rows of books to take a nap. The librarian kindly walks over and says, "MAN'S NAME, I'm sorry but you cannot take a nap here. Please sit up." To me, this shows that his ability to comprehend appropriate social etiquette is impaired. It's my understanding (from neighbors) that his brother used to take care of him, but that he has either fallen ill himself or no longer takes care of him. I genuinely feel for this individual, especially since his behavior feels so harmless, even though it is technically illegal.

It really has been pretty annoying. Every Sunday when the paper isn't there, we'd call the newspaper and say we didn't receive our paper, and they would sometimes redeliver, sometimes not. It's been a pain to wake up every Sunday and first thing have to call someone and complain, particularly about something that is not their fault at all. They've done everything they can to make sure we get the paper, but this situation puts them out and it puts us out.

Ugh, still torn about this. Not sure I feel comfortable saying something to him myself and I would not sick DH on him...

 

[Jennifer W]

He sounds as though he may need some additional support? I would probably contact social services to express concern. If he had a carer who is no longer able to look after him or his health and circumstances have changed, they may be able to provide alternative care arrangements. He might need a little more looking after and addressing his need at that level would remove irritations like the missing paper without going down the criminal / forensic care route (may be different in the US, but it can be a little draconian at times here).

 

[chemgirl]

I second the opinion that he might need more care than he's getting so contacting social services might be the way to go.

Also, if you do plan on confronting him, make sure that your husband is there. Follow the same safety precautions you normally would when confronting any strange man. People often forget that although an individual may be mentally impaired, they are not necessarily physically impaired.

 

[Missy]

I'm sorry about this situation you are dealing with. It is unfortunate and there is no clear cut solution sadly.
I work with developmentally disabled adults and it really depends upon their severity/level of impairment on how you should deal with the situation.

If he is living on his own he should know right from wrong and this behavior of stealing others newspapers is unacceptable because he should know (and understand) better. If he is living with assistance then the caretaker is responsible and should be told and hopefully the behavior should stop.

I would be concerned if he is not being supervised properly that he could get into much bigger trouble or a more dangerous situation so while it is a huge annoyance to you and other neighbors I would urge you to take action more for his future well being and safety than any other issue.

Good luck!

 

[dragonfly411]

I would buy him a subscription of his own and have it delivered to his house.
Our paper has gift subscriptions, they deliver the first one in a wrap that says gift subscription from ......
They will allow you to put from a friend.

I love this suggestion! Sadly, he takes everyone's paper, not just ours. He collects and hoards them, and then sits at the train station and reads them all day. (I'm the only one on the block who gets our paper, but DH has seen him snatch others when he walks over to the bagel shop a few blocks away. He also opens the newspaper dispensers at the train station and takes the whole stack!) So I'm not sure this would solve the problem...

I truthfully don't know how far his limitations reach. One example of his behavior that I can share is that he will come to the public library and lay down on the floor in between two rows of books to take a nap. The librarian kindly walks over and says, "MAN'S NAME, I'm sorry but you cannot take a nap here. Please sit up." To me, this shows that his ability to comprehend appropriate social etiquette is impaired. It's my understanding (from neighbors) that his brother used to take care of him, but that he has either fallen ill himself or no longer takes care of him. I genuinely feel for this individual, especially since his behavior feels so harmless, even though it is technically illegal.

It really has been pretty annoying. Every Sunday when the paper isn't there, we'd call the newspaper and say we didn't receive our paper, and they would sometimes redeliver, sometimes not. It's been a pain to wake up every Sunday and first thing have to call someone and complain, particularly about something that is not their fault at all. They've done everything they can to make sure we get the paper, but this situation puts them out and it puts us out.

Ugh, still torn about this. Not sure I feel comfortable saying something to him myself and I would not sick DH on him...

Megumic - What if you approached him, and explained that although you realize he enjoys reading the paper, you'd appreciate if you could read yours too, and offer to let him have the paper when you are done with it? Or left a note that said "We'd be happy to share ours with you after we're done reading it, could you leave it for us for now and we'll put it out when we're done" ?

 

[geckodani]

What about getting a paper box? I know some folks around here have a separate box next to/under their mail box for the paper.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

What about putting up a "no tresspassing" sign Saturday nights every week (so the sign is there for sun morning) and see if that helps? Maybe put up two or three all staked out before bed?

Or if you REALLY want to make an impression, put out a sign that says, "get your own paper," or "quit stealing our paper."

 

[phoenixgirl]

That is a sad situation for him, but it definitely doesn't mean you should just have your paper stolen. I would probably get up early wtih your DH one day, wait for him to come, and then confront him gently. He may just run away when you open the door to speak to him, but that may be enough to tell him to avoid your house in the future. Just because they're newspapers doesn't mean it's not theft, so if that doesn't help, then I'd ask the police what they can do. And yeah, it sounds like the real problem is that he's not capable of taking care of himself.

 

[megumic]

What about getting a paper box? I know some folks around here have a separate box next to/under their mail box for the paper.

This is a good idea, except that our mailboxes are on the front of the house. Plus, if he walks up to my front door and takes the paper from the top step, I don't think the mailbox with the paper in it would deter him.

 

[megumic]

It's so funny, many of you are suggesting I confront him, and normally, that's what I would do. I'm a really confrontational person when it comes to people I know, but it's more difficult with strangers, for some reason. Is that weird? Also, I think because he has limitations, I am more fearful of approaching him, which is so ridiculous. I guess I'm just afraid he won't understand or something...

 

[Cehrabehra]

what about catching him in the act one last time - and explaining to him as you would a child, "I see you like to read the paper. We like to read the paper too. This is the paper we bought and it makes us upset when we cannot read it because you have taken it."

I don't know I'd go the accusatory "thief" route, not for this individual.