Home Moms, how much do you worry?

[Jas12]

I realize this is a tough question since we can''t get inside of another''s head to make a real comparison, nor is worry really quantifiable, but i wonder, how much do you *feel* you worry on a daily basis?

Do things pop into your head and you worry for a min then move on, or
do you have a dull, constant feel of worry that permeates your day to day life
or maybe you hardly worry at all unless something specific happens?
I was away without my son for the first time this weekend. The longest we''d been apart up until then was a work day (6 hours) so on that ocassion I worried from time to time about specific things (how would he sleep, would he be confused, would he get enough fluids without nursing etc) but typically I am one to feel a general sense of worry that lies just below my day-to-day business of being a parent. I don''t know if i ever feel completely, utterly at ease. Not unhappy, just something hovering in/out of conciousness.

I can see why being a grandparent would be wonderful. You get a love comparable to that b/w a child and parent, but without the constant worry. Or so my mom/MIL claim

 

[janinegirly]

I worry when a new element is added to the routine--i.e. new person watching her, someone is sick, she''s at a new location,etc. But otherwise I don''t worry on a day to day basis. The only time that that random "panic" feeling comes about is when I''m reading some news item on a baby.. then I feel the instinct to see her and know she''s ok. I plan on going away with DH to Europe for a week in a few months (wedding plus some alone time). I wonder if I''ll be a basket case or able to enjoy it...

 

[D&T]

Date: 6/10/2009 11:56:34 AM
Author: janinegirly
I worry when a new element is added to the routine--i.e. new person watching her, someone is sick, she''s at a new location,etc. But otherwise I don''t worry on a day to day basis. The only time that that random ''panic'' feeling comes about is when I''m reading some news item on a baby.. then I feel the instinct to see her and know she''s ok. I plan on going away with DH to Europe for a week in a few months (wedding plus some alone time). I wonder if I''ll be a basket case or able to enjoy it...

ditto this.

 

[TravelingGal]

I don''t worry day to day. Sometimes at night, I''ll just think about her and life and feel very worried and anxious all of the sudden. I put those thoughts aside and then move on.

I am, however, worried about this long trip to Oz in September. Not because I don''t think she''ll be OK. I do. But I have anxiety about planes (even though I fly a lot) and feel sick about being 7500 miles away should something happen. I also fear that something might happen to us, but then I realize that the odds are in our favor and I should just try and enjoy this vacation.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I''m a worrier by nature and always fear what can go wrong. When my kids were little, I constantly worried about them falling down, getting bumps, cuts, etc. Now that they''re a bit older and that even with watching over them constantly, seen accidents happen and they have survived, has eliviated that pressure.

Mostly now I am less a worrier and more a person who is concerned over an event.

 

[curlygirl]

I''m not a big worrier at all. I feel like I want to enjoy every minute I have with my children rather than wasting that time worrying. Like janine, the only time I get a real sense of worry is when I read or hear something really devastating about a child (I mostly try to avoid these things!) but I don''t let that feeling linger.

 

[jas]

What, me worry?

The funny thing is, the only thing I worry about -- and it''s a constant nag -- is autism. For some reason, that scares me more than anything else my boys could have. Which is silly. I just hear about it so much...have worked with kids who have it...so I feel like I''m holding my breath until they hit 2 or 3. I feel I could handle anything else.

I also am afraid that''s "putting it out there".

Then again maybe I should be more worried about my reality...right now one of them is crawling and beginning to scoot and manages to bonk his head on the hardwood floor at least three times a day.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/10/2009 12:54:59 PM
Author: jas
What, me worry?

The funny thing is, the only thing I worry about -- and it''s a constant nag -- is autism. For some reason, that scares me more than anything else my boys could have. Which is silly. I just hear about it so much...have worked with kids who have it...so I feel like I''m holding my breath until they hit 2 or 3. I feel I could handle anything else.

I also am afraid that''s ''putting it out there''.

Then again maybe I should be more worried about my reality...right now one of them is crawling and beginning to scoot and manages to bonk his head on the hardwood floor at least three times a day.

Ha, Jackie, so true. I worry about autism too. I was always interested in it even before Amelia was born because there''s just so much mystery surrounding it. And of course, my heart hurts for any parent who has to deal with more than what the average work of a parent is. When Amelia was a couple months old, I remember asking here how much eye contact other babies have with their moms. I was always watching, watching, watching.

And you''re right...I really need to worry about my own reality first. I am getting geared up for all the bumps and bruises that are about to happens as she''s on the edge of learning to walk!

 

[jas]

Date: 6/10/2009 1:03:09 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/10/2009 12:54:59 PM
Author: jas
What, me worry?

The funny thing is, the only thing I worry about -- and it''s a constant nag -- is autism. For some reason, that scares me more than anything else my boys could have. Which is silly. I just hear about it so much...have worked with kids who have it...so I feel like I''m holding my breath until they hit 2 or 3. I feel I could handle anything else.

I also am afraid that''s ''putting it out there''.

Then again maybe I should be more worried about my reality...right now one of them is crawling and beginning to scoot and manages to bonk his head on the hardwood floor at least three times a day.

Ha, Jackie, so true. I worry about autism too. I was always interested in it even before Amelia was born because there''s just so much mystery surrounding it. And of course, my heart hurts for any parent who has to deal with more than what the average work of a parent is. When Amelia was a couple months old, I remember asking here how much eye contact other babies have with their moms. I was always watching, watching, watching.

And you''re right...I really need to worry about my own reality first. I am getting geared up for all the bumps and bruises that are about to happens as she''s on the edge of learning to walk!

You nailed it...that''s exactly it. I feel like if one of mine doesn''t make eye contact or doesn''t smile at something that the other one does, or is more intense, well, then there might be heartache ahead. The odds are much higher for boys, and I just hear over and over how sweet little boys "change"...I also worry if one has tummy troubles because that''s often part of the autism package...

Yeah, it''s the mystery. And I feel that someone out there really knows what it is. And that we''ll never know.

So to the original post -- this is an ongoing, whispering nag in the back of my head that every-so-often creeps into my heart. Chilling stuff.

But every other darned thing I really don''t worry about. If I did worry, I''d probably be bathing my children more.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am also a natural born worrier. I tend to only worry about the big things though. Often I have irrational fears that make me sick to even think about. I try to remind myself that worrier never helped anyone. Lots of things CAN happen but they are just as likely NOT to. So I just think about today b/c often times that is all I can handle.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/10/2009 1:25:59 PM
Author: jas

Date: 6/10/2009 1:03:09 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/10/2009 12:54:59 PM
Author: jas
What, me worry?

The funny thing is, the only thing I worry about -- and it''s a constant nag -- is autism. For some reason, that scares me more than anything else my boys could have. Which is silly. I just hear about it so much...have worked with kids who have it...so I feel like I''m holding my breath until they hit 2 or 3. I feel I could handle anything else.

I also am afraid that''s ''putting it out there''.

Then again maybe I should be more worried about my reality...right now one of them is crawling and beginning to scoot and manages to bonk his head on the hardwood floor at least three times a day.

Ha, Jackie, so true. I worry about autism too. I was always interested in it even before Amelia was born because there''s just so much mystery surrounding it. And of course, my heart hurts for any parent who has to deal with more than what the average work of a parent is. When Amelia was a couple months old, I remember asking here how much eye contact other babies have with their moms. I was always watching, watching, watching.

And you''re right...I really need to worry about my own reality first. I am getting geared up for all the bumps and bruises that are about to happens as she''s on the edge of learning to walk!

You nailed it...that''s exactly it. I feel like if one of mine doesn''t make eye contact or doesn''t smile at something that the other one does, or is more intense, well, then there might be heartache ahead. The odds are much higher for boys, and I just hear over and over how sweet little boys ''change''...I also worry if one has tummy troubles because that''s often part of the autism package...

Yeah, it''s the mystery. And I feel that someone out there really knows what it is. And that we''ll never know.

So to the original post -- this is an ongoing, whispering nag in the back of my head that every-so-often creeps into my heart. Chilling stuff.

But every other darned thing I really don''t worry about. If I did worry, I''d probably be bathing my children more.

It is tough Jackie, but I know as a mom now, I will manage whatever comes my way and I know you would too. It''s just that I don''t want to! I watched her so closely after her first MMR shot at 12 months that I''m surprised my eyes didn''t pop out of my head. She wasn''t quite herself for a week (fever can strike a week or two after the fact, from what I remember). She was crankier. But then she bounced back just fine.

It scares me enough that it is a factor in me not wanting a second. The first and more important reason being toxemia (I had it and it increases the chances of having it with the second pregnancy).

 

[purrfectpear]

I worried during the pregnancy. Once he was born with the correct number of appendages and healthy, I really never worried again until it was time to let him ride a bike off the block. I don''t spend any time on things I can''t control so I was fairly stress free about raising my son.

 

[lili]

Date: 6/10/2009 12:46:28 PM
Author: curlygirl
I''m not a big worrier at all. I feel like I want to enjoy every minute I have with my children rather than wasting that time worrying. Like janine, the only time I get a real sense of worry is when I read or hear something really devastating about a child (I mostly try to avoid these things!) but I don''t let that feeling linger.

Ditto.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I worry a lot! I just want my son to be happy and healthy so I strive for that everyday. I was sick over going back to work - and I had six months off. Luckily, James is an easy baby so that helps

 

[soocool]

Date: 6/10/2009 1:48:45 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
When my children were small children, I worried, but not over much. Kids are going to be kids. I wasnt overly concerned they were going to fall and get hurt, though having 3 boys, they did a lot. lol As children, I had control over where they went, who their friends were. I''m more concerned about them now that they''re adults. I can''t keep them safe as I used to..

SDL, this is exactly how I feel. Though my DD is 16 she will be driving soon, going off to college, living on her own, etc. Not to mention the dreaded "boyfriend". Now she only group dates, but soon she''ll be going on one on one dates and that scares me. We talk about "SEX" all the time. I read an article in "O" magazine about moms talking with their daughters about sex and my DD read basically the same article in "Seventeen" magazine. She told me that she told her friends that we talk about sex and her friends said their moms never said anything to them as of yet regarding anything about sex.

There is no topic that is off limits between my DD and I. Since I am not going to be there to protect her, I do want to be sure that she is prepared to be on her own. I don''t know if I will worry any less, but I will take comfort in knowing she is a smart and resourceful person and will do just fine.

 

[Pandora II]

I practically have panic attacks that I''m going to drop her, or trip over holding her - or that DH will. I nearly dropped her when she was 3 days old and feel sick when I think about it...

 

[packrat]

I''m a worrier. I worry about how to talk to my daughter about Stranger Danger, not taking candy or going anywhere w/someone she doesn''t know or w/out mommy saying it''s ok, good/bad touches etc..I don''t want to scare her, but yet, it is really important for her to know these things and be aware. In our area, sometimes people seem to be a little lax about things, and while I realize we don''t live in a huge metropolis, things can and do happen no matter where you live. On a daily basis tho, I don''t sit around and jump at every shadow or anything.