MIA

[TooPatient]

Lori -- I'm glad you are back here with us!

The DNR is something I gave much thought to. SO and I did our wills & Power of Attorney documents and the DNR was included in the packet from our attorney so we could look at it. After many hours of discussion and even more hours of thought, we decided to not complete the DNR. Instead, we each have a medical power of attorney (in addition to a general durable POA) that was in full force upon signing. If anything happens to either of us, we do not have to wait for a doctor to declare "incapacitated". The document specifically calls out that we can choose to accept or decline any treatments at our discretion.

We have talked with each other and know what the other would want done in different circumstances. If there is some reasonable chance at recovering to a quality life, the doctors can be directed to do what is needed. If the "recovery" would be of a quality that the person wouldn't want to live with, the doctors can be instructed to not take certain measures.

The way we have it set up, it isn't a firm "DNR" or a firm "do what you have to to save me" -- it is up to the judgment of the person who knows what we'd want in such a situation.

I hope to never have to make the decision for SO but if that day comes, I know what he wants done and I know that he has confidence that I will choose what is best for him just as I know that he will choose what is best for me.


Sorry for the ramble. I just wanted to toss out another possibility as you are trying to decide what is best for you.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Goodness, Lori!!! I am so glad to hear you are better after a very scary time! I think your situation is evidence of when NOT to have a DNR in place! On the other hand, my mother, who is 82 in a nursing home and paralyzed over half her body after a stroke, DOES have a DNR in place and we were supportive of that because her quality of life isn't great as it is.

Ally gave such good advice. So much depends on the prognosis such as if the person has a terminal illness.

 

[Imdanny]

Ally gave such good advice. So much depends on the prognosis such as if the person has a terminal illness.

She did. Not to get political but that post really reinforced my belief that people need to be able to talk to their doctors about these issues and concerns and insurance should cover this kind of consultation. Instead we were treated to inane and outrageous fear mongering about this subject during our farcical so called health care debate.

 

[innerkitten]

Just want to say that I'm glad your alright and I hope you feel 100% very soon.

 

[QueenB29]

Oh no! Thank goodness you're still with us. I hope the rest of your recovery goes well.

 

[Snicklefritz]

Oh lori, what a horrifying ordeal! I'm so sorry you've been through this and that there's a possibility it could happen again! I can see how completing the DNR paperwork could seem reasonable to you given all the torture you've recently endured. The physical and emotional pain must be unimaginable. But given what ally posted I think it's worth taking your time to decide. I don't know the whole story, but based on what you've said it does sound like there's an opportunity for healing. I hope you're surrounded by loving family and friends at this time. I wish you the best, and hope to see you around here a lot more!