MIA

[loriken214]

I've been MIA due to a very serious illness that required me to stay in the hospital just over 3 weeks. It was a sepsis infection that caused respiratory failure and I literally died. The doctors put me on life support and I was in a coma, using propofol, and finally woke up a week later with a ventilator tube down my throat and a feeding tube from my nose into my stomach. My hands were restrained to the sides of the bed since they said I was trying to pull my tubes out. My doctors wanted me stay in the hospital longer, but I couldn't take another day. I was the youngest patient there and I worked my butt off to rehab enough to come home ASAP.

Propofol is NOT to be used for sleeping and I can't figure out why Michael Jackson used it for sleeping! His doctor is an IDIOT for giving it to him!

Long story short, I was in the process of completing my DNR paperwork. If it had been done, I wouldn't be here today. I'm still debating whether to complete the DNR stuff or not.....I just went through Hell and back. My lungs are still very weak and it will be quite a while before they recover.

I'm grateful to be alive...just wondering what I should do about the future since there is a good chance this may happen again.

Lori

 

[Dancing Fire]

Lori,sorry to hear the news...hope you feel better soon.

 

[Haven]

Lori, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you, and I'm so grateful that you are still here with us.
Prayers and dust to you!

 

[Gypsy]

Prayers and Dust. Happy to see you here.

 

[Imdanny]

Get well soon, Lori. I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through this and I wish I had advice to give you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs and dust.

 

[VRBeauty]

Lori - what a nightmare! I'm glad you didn't have a DNR in place when this happened.

I have to admit that I haven't dealt with medical directives yet, even though I know it's something I need to do. Such weighty decisions to make! Is there someone you can use as a sounding board as you work through yours?

I'm glad you're here and posting! Hugs and prayers to you.

 

[justginger]

Lori, I am glad you are home now and haven't left us for good. What a scary, scary situation for you. I think you'll need to do a bit of soul searching about the DNR paperwork - I have no advice to give, only you know what is in your own best interests. Lots of dust for your health.

 

[allycat0303]

Hi Lori,

I am so happy you are ok! Please take care of yourself for the next few days.

I do want to weigh in on the DNR, because it's something that I come into contact a lot (we have a really acute floor). I'm just going to talk generally.

First off, signing a DNR is obviously a personal choice, but you have to take many factors into consideration.If you are 90 years old and have horrible life quality because you have multiple comorbidities, then a DNR is reasonable. It is also reasonable if you are 40 years old and have no quality of life, with many cormorbidities, or are living with a terminal illness. For me the most important question is "Do you have a good quality of life/ are free from serious, crippling comorbidities?" and "Are you of an age that there is a reasonable chance of survival?". For me, anyone under the age of 75 answering yes to the first question, should seriously rethink a DNR.

If you're in the hospital for any reason, ie. you just had a benign operation like a hernia repair, and you are in your room recuperating. Then suddenly your heart stops (reason unknown). The code team will come and do CPR and intubate you. They will run a code for about 20-30 minutes depending on their judgement. If you don't come back, they let you go. If you do come back, you'll be in the icu, incubated while they figure out WHAT caused your heart to stop. It could be anything. Some which might be reversible, and treatable, others which can not. Basically if you do come back, your buying yourself some time to figure out "what happened?" at that point, if it's not reversible with adequate quality of life, you can be taken off life support. I am much more for "no prolonged life support for any irreversible conditions" then a DNR. This kind of mandate takes the pressure off your family to decide to withdraw life-support because you have made your wishes clear, and the doctors will advise your family when the conditions is irreversible.

When I was a medical student I read about the DISMAL survival rates after CPR and said "what's the point?" but after being in the hospital, I realize that the reality is SO different. I have personally run 3 code blues, which I said to myself "thank freaking god the person did not have a DNR!!" The most extreme was a 90 year old gentleman on an internal medicine floor. He coded late at night, and I ran a 10 minute code on him. I remember that there were grumblings "he's 90!!! Stop." in any case, he was incubated, on ventilator etc. the next day we figured out he went into full heart block. He got a pacemaker, and was discharged home 1 week later. He walked out (with a cane) joking with his family. I saw him again in the halls 3 years later, he was passing by to have his pacemaker interrogated! I had another very elderly patient that coded because of digoxin toxicity (medication), and another one that was *probably* given an accidental dose of b-blocker (medication). All if them were fine, and left the hospital.

Having a DNR prevents CPR. At most this is a 30 minute intervention that won't bring you any suffering (because you're technically dead) and it may give you a second chance, and allow the doctors to find out if it is a reversible cause. But again, it's a very personal decision, taking into account your medical history. Please don't get me wrong, I'm completely against keeping a 90 year old patient on a ventilator for weeks and weeks with no chance of survival (I live in Canada where health care is publically funded), but I do believe in giving doctors *time to figure out what went wrong*

Lori, you are a warrior. I have no idea how old you are, but your spirit is young indeed! Lots of hugs for a successful recovery.

 

[mary poppins]

Very, very scary. Glad you're still here. Welcome back and enjoy the rest of your precious life!

 

[Missy]

Hi Lori, I am so sorry to hear of what you just went through and relieved that you made it through. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and wishing you a speedy and long recovery. Allycat's post makes excellent sense and I hope your road ahead is smooth(er) sailing.

 

[Enerchi]

Lori! Thankfully, you are still here in our realm. What a horrendous experience - I hope your health has improved that this WON'T happen again - fingers crossed. DUST for a speedy recovery.

Allycat has a very good post. Please think long and hard about your DNR decision.

 

[diamondringlover]

wow, I hope you feel better soon, dust and prayers for your recovery.

 

[AGBF]

Hi, Lori-

I, also, really appreciated ally's thoughtful posting. Only you can make a huge decision like whether you want to go through another experience like the one you just endured. Yet she raises good points. I have known you have been struggling with your health for years and I don't know if the problems have gotten worse and curtailed your activities and enjoyment of life. I do recall your discussion of a prospective trip (was it to Texas?) that you were looking forward to with great pleasure. Life is so complicated!

Like the many other posters who love you, I will be thinking good thoughts about you and praying for you.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[iLander]

Good lord! Recovery dust coming your way!

I wouldn't sign a DNR unless I was over 70 years old. Before that, I've got a pretty good shot at a full recovery.

How did you end up in the hospital? What the heck was the string of events that led up to that? Obviously a good place for what you were going through, though.

 

[Karl_K]

Thoughts and prayers outgoing!!
huge hugs!!!!!

 

[AGBF]

Lori-

I hope you forgive me for sticking my oar into such a personal matter for a second time, but we have been friends on Pricescope for a very long time and this posting of yours was very disturbing to me. I reread ally's posting and hope that you, also, have read it-and read about DNR-carefully. I hope you have discussed it in depth with your doctors.

I know very little about it and what ally and you wrote struck terror in me. If you do not want doctors ever to do the things to you that were done, you can stop them from doing them with a living will. You do not need to have a DNR which, I now know (courtesy of ally) prevents even CPR. Would you really want to prevent CPR?

As ally said, if you are in constant pain without hope of relief, you may want your life to end (although you may not want to end it yourself). But I have been assuming that that is not the case. If you have hope, please understand that signing a DNR would remove even CPR-which, as ally said is painless, from the list of doctors' options.

On a personal note: after my (thin and fit) husband underwent angioplasty at age 53 his heart stopped briefly and a code was called on him. A pastor came to sit with me and comfort me. It turned out to be unnecessary, because his heart resumed beating on its own...but after many long seconds of inactivity. I was glad they called the code!

Deb/AGBF

Having a DNR prevents CPR. At most this is a 30 minute intervention that won't bring you any suffering (because you're technically dead) and it may give you a second chance, and allow the doctors to find out if it is a reversible cause.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

So glad you're ok!
I agree with what Ally wrote, it's good to think about why you might want a Dnr and whether a living will might not be a better option to safeguard you from the things you wouldn't want while still allowing for the chance to recover if it is something reversible.

 

[junebug17]

So sorry to hear about your serious illness Lori, and very glad you're home and recovering. I hope you continue to feel better as time goes by. Ally made some really good points in her post and highlighted some important things to consider. Maybe a living will would be more appropriate for you - it's at least something to think about. It's probably a good thing for all of us reaching a certain age to think about.
(((hugs)))

 

[isaku5]

Lori, I had actually been thinking of you and wondered why I hadn't seen you post for awhile. Various reasons crossed my mind, but I hoped that it wasn't a flare-up of your very serious illness.

I'm so glad to see your cute avatar (Coco, I think) and read that you are feeling better now.

Lots of love and healing vibes are coming your way.

I'll look forward to your future postings. Keep in touch, please.

 

[tyty333]

Yikes! So glad you are doing better!

 

[Kaleigh]

Oh Lori,
So sorry to hear this. I am glad you made it. Gosh how scary for you. Keep healing and getting stronger. Big hugs!!!!

 

[kenny]

Gentle hugs to you.
Get well soon.

 

[armywife13]

So sorry to hear about your struggles, I hope you feel better soon. (((Hugs)))

 

[onedrop]

What a scary experience to have! Sending a ton of well wishes your way.

 

[Maisie]

That must have been so terrifying for you. I hope you continue to recover well.

 

[Skippy123]

L, I am so sorry about all that you went though but like Ally said, you Are a Warrior! I am thankful you are here too! keeping you in my prayers.

 

[HollyS]

Whoa! And here we've been jeering at each other on contentious threads while you've been literally hanging in the balance between this world and the next!

Thank God your DNR was not done. All things considered, I might not do one now if I were you.

You've got a long road before you, and I will keep you in my prayers.

We're so very glad you are still with us.

 

[ooo~Shiney!]

Lorriken !!!
I am so sorry to hear about your scary time
and SO HAPPY that you are on the mend !!!

I rarely visit the hangout. Just thought I would drop by today.

Your thread made me realize how precious we all are
and how I would miss your cute little Avatar as well

**********************************************************************
I am a Neurosurgical PA and in my line of work this comes up
all the time, so really everybody, think about that DNR.
And as an aside, I would like to say that there are a LOT of very
healthy, active 70-80-90 year olds around

 

[movie zombie]

lori, your situation and experience is scary but i also think you are doing a great service to those of us that participate here. you raise questions that all of us no matter what age should think about. it cannot be easy to go through this physically, emotionally, etc. that you share with us is a gift to us all. thank you. it is a much needed reminder that i should get things in order.

also, it is my understanding that one can be specific about what one wants done in specific instances......however, that requires being absolutely sure which is where the problem lies, i think.

again, i want to thank you for sharing with us, lori. i don't know what my answers would be to the situation and questions you raise. it is time i think hard about it.

you are indeed a warrior!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Lori, hope you are feeling better. Lots of healing dust!