Marriage, sex, relationships and childbirth waning in Japan...

[trillionaire]

"Nothing is happening with depressing regularity between Japanese men and women these days. Marriages, births and hanky-panky are all spiraling downward with troubling implications for the nation''s future: A sagging birthrate means that fewer working-age people will be around to support a growing population of elderly; a social crisis looms."

"More and more Japanese men and women are finding relationships too messy, tiring and potentially humiliating to bother with anymore. "They don''t want a complicated life," says Sakai, who has written a controversial bestseller, Cry of the Losing Dogs, on the plight of unmarried Japanese thirtysomething women like herself.

And so, to an astonishing degree, men and women go their separate ways — the women to designer boutiques and chic restaurants with their girlfriends or moms, the men to karaoke clubs with their colleagues from work or the solitude of their computer screens to romance hassle-free virtual women.

"Men don''t want to spend time with their girlfriends, especially shopping," says Takayuki Mori, 40, a single man who works for a Tokyo advertising agency. He says he isn''t dating.

Better educated, more widely traveled and raised in more affluence than their mothers, young women no longer feel bound by the Japanese tradition that says a woman unmarried after age 25 is like a Christmas cake on Dec. 26 — stale. Men, meanwhile, seem intimidated and bewildered by assertive young women who are nothing like their moms."


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Link to Full article: Linky

The intersection of global culture and traditional culture is... fascinating? Alarming? Disturbing? Inspiring? Depressing? Fluid?

 

[kenny]

I find it fascinating how societies change.

People lament the changes but every one happens for a reason.
The forces driving changes are so huge nobody can do anything about it.

It is somewhat sad how people can't accept change and cling to a past which is gone with the wind.

This stuff has been happening since time began but I think every generation complains that things were best a generation ago.

Things change.
People will adjust.
Life will go on.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

When I read the first paragraph, I thought of the farmer who needed a wife to produce many children to work the land so they could survive. Now , we have only changed that from an individual to a societal notion that we need more births to support the elderly to survive. So Kenny, you are right--just different situations and times.

I agree that change comes whether we like or not, but I need an adjustment period. I don''t always adjust and balk or scream going forward like many others probably do. Eventually we come to terms with change.

Thanks,
Annette

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 3/18/2010 2:52:01 PM
Author: kenny
I find it fascinating how societies change.

People lament the changes but every one happens for a reason.
The forces driving changes are so huge nobody can do anything about it.

It is somewhat absurd how people can''t accept change and hold onto the past, which is gone forever.

This stuff has been happening since time began but I think every generation complains that things were best a generation ago.

Things change.
People will adjust.
Life will go on.

I agree. Life does not exist in a bubble. This article was very fascinating to me... in the women pressing for progress, in the men recoiling, in the extremes that people resort to, in how individual choices, on aggregate, can cause the demise of a culture (or country), on how parents are enabling this behavior... about the similariities and differences between US dating (the culture that I am most familiar with). All of it, really. About what the story will be, 20 or 50 years from now...

 

[galeteia]

Date: 3/18/2010 2:40:54 PM
Author:trillionaire
Better educated, more widely traveled and raised in more affluence than their mothers, young women no longer feel bound by the Japanese tradition that says a woman unmarried after age 25 is like a Christmas cake on Dec. 26 — stale. Men, meanwhile, seem intimidated and bewildered by assertive young women who are nothing like their moms.''

It is very fascinating. I remember reading about how the Japanese Prince had a very difficult time convincing his wife to give up being a strong, career-focused woman and instead submit to a VERY iconic traditional role! As it is, they only have one child, a daughter, and that caused a kerfuffle as well. In fact, the expectations to produce a male heir appear to have struck her down with debilitating depression: Wiki on the Crown Prince

I am reminded of TGal''s date story about the man who was offended that she laughed too heartily, because he had this illusion about how Asian women ''should'' be. Apparently, this ''traditional'' Asian woman is going the way of the dodo, according to this article!

I have also heard that China is having a similar crisis, because what few women were born and raised to adulthood are becoming more independent, and they don''t want to get married and have a family. This has caused kidnappings for both wives and sex slaves, and women have been forced into illegal marriages.