alli_esq
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2008
- Messages
- 909
Okay, I didn''t know where to post this, but I figure there''s a lot of foot-traffic here, so I''ll post it here
Sooo, I just got married in November, and my maid of honor was wonderful, especially since she was long-distance (I''m in NY, she''s in DC). I didn''t ask anything of her except to be there (I had other, closeby friends who were more involved in the planning, since a couple of them had recently gotten married), but she was very supportive and fun and came for my shower and planned an AWEsome bachelorette party with my other friends.
Now, her boyfriend is from Spain, and due to school/work issues, he needs some green card help. They had been talking about getting married, but due to $$ constraints and various other details, they hadn''t officially gotten engaged yet...but now, they decided a few weeks ago that they are getting married NEXT WEEK! It will be a city hall marriage, and it won''t be a social marriage yet (i.e. they''re not telling most people, and they''re not even going to live together until their apartment leases run out in a month or two). The plan is that her BF will officially "propose" to her in the next 6 months or so, and they will have a real celebration (or actually, several celebrations--they have lots of family in several different countries) in 2011 at some point TBD.
Now, money is very very tight for me, and this came as a surprise to everyone (including to the couple!)...so I haven''t had time to put anything aside for her. I have offered to come to her ceremony next week, and she has told me that it''s really no big deal for me to be there (it will be on a Thursday morning, and she is studying for the bar exam right now, so she is actually going to bar class later that day!), and that she''d rather me come visit just for fun another time (even though I told her I could come now AND later if she wanted)...
I want at least to send her something....but what on earth is appropriate? I know there are lots of etiquette and generosity experts here...what do you think is appropriate to send, especially if I''m not able to come visit? I know that the only thing either of them really NEEDS right now is cash (which is what she gave me for my wedding gift), but what kind of thing is that to send at this point? I would certainly give them a cash gift when I attend their "celebration" next year...but I''m not sure about what to do now...
Any ideas? I''m at a loss!

Sooo, I just got married in November, and my maid of honor was wonderful, especially since she was long-distance (I''m in NY, she''s in DC). I didn''t ask anything of her except to be there (I had other, closeby friends who were more involved in the planning, since a couple of them had recently gotten married), but she was very supportive and fun and came for my shower and planned an AWEsome bachelorette party with my other friends.
Now, her boyfriend is from Spain, and due to school/work issues, he needs some green card help. They had been talking about getting married, but due to $$ constraints and various other details, they hadn''t officially gotten engaged yet...but now, they decided a few weeks ago that they are getting married NEXT WEEK! It will be a city hall marriage, and it won''t be a social marriage yet (i.e. they''re not telling most people, and they''re not even going to live together until their apartment leases run out in a month or two). The plan is that her BF will officially "propose" to her in the next 6 months or so, and they will have a real celebration (or actually, several celebrations--they have lots of family in several different countries) in 2011 at some point TBD.
Now, money is very very tight for me, and this came as a surprise to everyone (including to the couple!)...so I haven''t had time to put anything aside for her. I have offered to come to her ceremony next week, and she has told me that it''s really no big deal for me to be there (it will be on a Thursday morning, and she is studying for the bar exam right now, so she is actually going to bar class later that day!), and that she''d rather me come visit just for fun another time (even though I told her I could come now AND later if she wanted)...
I want at least to send her something....but what on earth is appropriate? I know there are lots of etiquette and generosity experts here...what do you think is appropriate to send, especially if I''m not able to come visit? I know that the only thing either of them really NEEDS right now is cash (which is what she gave me for my wedding gift), but what kind of thing is that to send at this point? I would certainly give them a cash gift when I attend their "celebration" next year...but I''m not sure about what to do now...
Any ideas? I''m at a loss!
