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Wedding Living together--what did you put on your registry?

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alli_esq

Brilliant_Rock
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Hi there!

so here''s the sitch:

1. FI and I have been living together for over a year, in a relatively small apartment in the city (read: no storage space)
2. I brought with me allllll of my kitchen stuff, and I have really just about everything: plates I love, flatware I love, glasses I love, great cookware, and all the little in-betweens you might need for a well-rounded kitchen (plus we don''t cook much so they''re in great condition! haha)
3. My mother has two sets of china, tonnnnss of crystal, gorgeous silver, an unbelievable number of vases...and I (thankfully!!!) wouldn''t have to wait until she passes to use any of it if I wanted to, because there''s not a thing she uses
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4. Mom also bought us a beautiful new comforter, sheets, etc. for Xmas last year...
5. We are ridiculously broke, and have hardly a penny in savings (I just graduated from school and DF has most of his money in a 401k, which is not much), so
6. FI therefore only wants money for gifts (and truthfully, so do I, though I''d never say that to people)...

Okay! So we''re set! We love our stuff! Buuuut! We''re getting married and we know we have to register for something, right? So I went to the store, picked out some stuff I felt we could use, and then realized that everything we need is ridiculously expensive (hence why we don''t already have it!)--and although I have a couple of $11-12 items on my registry, mostly everything is $80 or $150+! (and several items much more than that) oh no...

Here''s the disclaimer(s):
1. I mean, I don''t expect that anyone should buy us a thing. We only want people to come to our wedding to celebrate. However, we do realize it is customary to bring a gift, and we want to guide our guests (if they should be inclined to want guidance)...
2. I didn''t register for these things because I expect that they should be purchased--I only picked out things that we need and would use (a la appliances, luggage)...
3. I will not include where I have registered ANYwhere--only if people ask will I or my mom tell them...
4. I feel sorta weird about the whole thing, but my mom just told me that several of her friends have been clamoring as to what to buy us for our engagement...we''re not having a party, I didn''t ask for gifts, and the whole thing makes me feel a little bad, especially since we got engaged more than 5 months ago...but as my mom says--she''s always bought engagement gifts for her friends'' kids, and now they want to return the favor...
5. I intend, as off-putting as some people find it, to register with a travel agent too--we will not be able to afford a honeymoon without help, and the way I see it, if people would LIKE to contribute, why not let them--and if they think it''s wrong, then they by no means have to!

so! for the people who have everything but cold hard cash--for what did/would you register? I''d really like ideas for $25-$40 gifts, especially for a shower I will inevitably have (disclaimer II: though I wouldn''t be disappointed if I didn''t have a shower--again, it''s just customary and I suspect one will be thrown)--I think everyone knows how broke we are, and nearly everyone will give cash gifts for the actual wedding (disclaimer III and they might bring nothing at all--which is fine!!!), but I know ladies like to give actual, open-able gifts for showers...

::phew:: almost broke a sweat disclaiming myself!
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Hi alli,

I would register for items like towels or sheets as these get worn out fairly quickly and I find I can never have enough nice guest towels. We had the same problem in that we were living together for 4 years and had everything already (except for nice china so that''s what we put on our registry).

I would also consider registering for one of those sites where people can contribute cash towards your honeymoon.

Also, I don''t know about how you feel on returning gifts, but if you register at Bed Bath & Beyond, anything you receive from there can be returned for cash.
 
I vote for the honeymoon registry. That way, if people don''t want to give you cash, they will be giving you wonderful memories and a great trip. Pretty much everyone can get on board with the honeymoon thing.
 
How ''bout registering for things like your Honeymoon, cooking classes, dvds, or books (ie. cookbooks).

I haven''t registered so maybe someone can confirm whether you can register for gift cards?
 
You can:

1. Register somewhere that you can return gifts for cash
2. Let word-of-mouth spread that if people would like to gift, you are trying to save for X Y or Z (they''ll get the picture that you mean "I want money")
3. Do a honeymoon registry and not care a whip that some people think they''re in poor taste

and/or

4. Make a very small registry of things you do like/want, and let people take the hint when it''s shopped out that you want MULAH


That''s what I''d do, anyway
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Set up a registry. If anyone asks, hane your mom say something like, "well they are registerd at so and so, but if you don''t want to go to all the trouble, I am sure they could us the money''. My dad did this and they were largely relieved that they didn''t have to shop.
 
What about things like extra sets of sheets and towels in neutral colors... an air mattress and pump for camping/guests... nice salt and pepper grinders/shakers... table runners or door wreaths.
 
Date: 9/29/2008 8:13:23 PM
Author: oobiecoo
What about things like extra sets of sheets and towels in neutral colors... an air mattress and pump for camping/guests... nice salt and pepper grinders/shakers... table runners or door wreaths.
Ooh good ideas!

How about also, a new vacuum cleaner? Random appliances/cookware like a grill pan + panini press, filled pancake pan, cake molds, kitchenaid mixer attachments like the pasta maker, sausage stuffer, ice cream maker... you know, the non-standard stuff? Decor for your place? A luxurious mattress topper? New luggage?

These are all things that the standard registry places (pottery barn, bed bath and beyond, crate and barrel) have.

You could also do an amazon.com registry and put literally anything you want on there.


That's assuming you actually want to find a way to include gifts, you don't have to
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We are kind of in your boat. We just moved across country and bought all new stuff that we loved.

We ended up registring for more sheets (we have 3 sets now but can always use more, especially for when guest come to visit).
We really wanted two comforters, one for winter and one for summer kind of deal) but we couldnt find one we liked.
We asked for another set of dishes and silverware. We currently have a set of 8 of each but we do have lots of cabinet space and more dishes means less time washing them. We can finally fill up the dishwasher!
Let me pull out my registry and see what I got in the 25 to 40 range....

A 3 teir serving swivel step server
A couple new pans we wanted were 30-40
New serving utensils (after 2 years ours are a lil melted and we have lost some...not sure how.
Some cutting boards...oh they are under 25
One of those over the sink cuttingboard/strainer combo things
A holder for the new utensils (im talking slotted spoons and such)
An inside the over thermometer (for roasts and such)
New paper towel holder (FI hates the one we have. says its too complicated...men!)
Some new hand towels and such for the guest bath
a new bathroom wastebasket (cute stainless steel one covered in rattan)
A bathroom scale (an electronic one)
Some of our knifes were in that range like the pairing knife
A new knife holder

Thats about it. Pretty standard stuff. We will use to replace the older ones we didnt replace before and also get more of the things we love.
 
Date: 9/29/2008 6:08:30 PM
Author: kittybean
I vote for the honeymoon registry. That way, if people don''t want to give you cash, they will be giving you wonderful memories and a great trip. Pretty much everyone can get on board with the honeymoon thing.

Me too. I''m in the similar situation, but since my FI and I have recently moved in together, me have almost 2 of everything. So we''re going for a honeymoon registry.
 
I definitely agree about the extra towels and sheets - you can never have enough in my opinion!

We were in the same boat as you and your FI, however, we registered for china, crystal, and flatware - I''ve always wanted my own sets of each, so I was thrilled when we received everything for our wedding - our guests were so generous
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But, of the things we registered for, what I love most are the plush towels - I LOVE them. I also love our panini press - we use it 2 to 3 times a week. I also agree with Musey about decor - napkins, napkin rings, candle holders, picture frames - fun stuff to have around for parties - platters and bowls (although, if your guests are anything like mine were, you''ll get LOTS of platters and bowls!!! We love every one of the platters, but MAN - 15 of them!?!?! ha!)

But, I''d make a small registry, and if you want cash, just have your parents on stand by to suggest that you two could really use cash if that makes it easier for your guests.
 
We''re in a similar situation..except lacking the China. So I registered for that, and new flatware, and I am considering registering for new cookware since mine is breaking down a bit. I am also registering for towels and sheets, very necessary. But I agree with everyone else, if you absolutely can''t think of anything else spread the word around you want cash.
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what a great thread! we are in the same boat, too! my FI keeps asking if we can register for a larger TV and a new receiver for the stereo LOL since we seem to have everything else....plus no space to put anything new!
 
Luckily DH and I had been living together long enough to have chipped/smashed most of our existing china - so we took the opportunity to have some nice china/glassware/linen.

Other options that we have done for friends are:

A Cheese board delivered every month for x months from Neal''s Yard (fab London cheese shop)
Fortnum & Mason Hamper
A subscription to an organic vegetable box delivery
Really nice gardening things
A fun weekend course in something the couple enjoy - stained glass, jewellery making, glass blowing etc
 
Date: 9/30/2008 12:42:40 PM
Author: Pandora II
Luckily DH and I had been living together long enough to have chipped/smashed most of our existing china - so we took the opportunity to have some nice china/glassware/linen.


Other options that we have done for friends are:


A Cheese board delivered every month for x months from Neal''s Yard (fab London cheese shop)

Fortnum & Mason Hamper

A subscription to an organic vegetable box delivery

Really nice gardening things

A fun weekend course in something the couple enjoy - stained glass, jewellery making, glass blowing etc

I had NO clue what a Fortnum and Mason Hamper was so I did a quick search. They look so nice and would make a perfect gift for many occasions! Thanks for posting that Pandora
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