Wedding Latest ceremony resolve, possibly... Input please!!

[meresal]

Ok, so definitely NOT doing 2 ceremonies. C and I nixed that idea last night. Way too much planning and we wouldn't be saving anything.

Here's the latest idea. We have a traditional ceremony in Tx with regular reception... and then for our 1 yr anniversary, we do a destination vow renewal and invite ANYONE that wants to join. (We would pay for the vow renewal ourselves.)

Anyone see any negatives/positives to this?

 

[Italiahaircolor]

It''s a cute idea. But I know my friends and family probably would have thought it was strange renewing our vows a year later, since we just had our big expensive wedding. And, this could just be my circle of people, but I would think they would probably still feel like that they spent enough money celebrating our love with travel expenses, hotel accomidations, gifts, whatever just one short year ago

As for me, a year later (we got married in July 07) I am not thinking about renewing my vows (our first ones were great)...I''m thinking about having a baby, remodeling my home, taking *relaxing* vacation. One wedding was enough to last me a lifetime!

If I were you, I''d really throw all my energy into planning my *first* wedding...and see how you feel once that is over. A vow renewal is something you could put together on a whim and doesn''t need to be the hub of your focus. I think you''re so excited to be engaged that the wedding planning process hasn''t really sunk in...but you''ll see...as fun as it is, it really does become a second job...so don''t spread yourself to thin.

 

[meresal]

Italiahaircolor- Thank you for your response. FI and I take a vacation every year, so this would be more or less a "Hey, we're going on vacation and we're going to do this... anyone want to join?"

I understand that it is only 1 year, but I've seen in my sisters how the "new marriage" smell has worn out and you feel like there's nothing else to be excited about. I think it would be neat to do, as kind of a rejuvination and a celebration to one year down. Does that make any sense? I read a post on here, where the couple planned a post-honeymoon vacation 6 months after their regular one, so that they had this other thing to be excited about. I thought that was a great idea too.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Meresal, I understand where you''re coming from. And yes, what you''re talking about it the post wedding bell blues...where a bride feels a sense of being "let down" after the wedding. This usually isn''t because she''s unhappy, or having second thoughts...but because there is an void in her life where wedding planning used to be.

I actually did the post-honeymoon vacation a few months after the wedding, and it was nice...it was something we looked forward to, and something we enjoyed very much. But, after that vacation...whats next?

Eventually, the "newlywed" smell is going to leave your marriage...and real life will set in....you can''t be a bride forever...thats why its called a wedding day and not a wedding life. It then becomes every couples individual job to spice up their marriage and make things exciting...and if for you that means renewing your vows, then so be it. But, what are you going to do after that? Life isn''t about always looking towards the next big, giant, event...its about moving forward.

Thats all my first post was ment to highlight.

 

[loverocks]

I think it is a sweet idea for the two of you. However, I would caution that you need to be really okay with the idea the no one else might come. It is very very soon after your wedding (1 year), and they really may not be able to find the time, money, whatever, to be able to go. I think if it is important to you that others are present at your renewal, maybe you could plan it for your 5 year? Also you may want to consider that while you might not say it, your immeadiate family and very very close friends might feel pressured that they *have* to go even though it might not be good timing coming so soon off your wedding.

 

[Octavia]

Meresal, we''re doing something kind of similar, but out of necessity. My FI is from halfway around the world, and most of his family and friends won''t be able to join us for our actual wedding, here in the US (due to flights being crazy expensive and travel visas not being so easy for people from his home country to obtain -- I never realized how lucky Americans are until FI and I started traveling together). So we''re doing a second celebration, but because of issues with the timing, it''s going to happen about 9-10 months after we''re married. It will probably be low-key, just renting out a restaurant for the afternoon/evening and living it up.

I''m excited about this, especially since some of my family and friends are hoping to attend our celebration abroad, as well. But honestly, if we didn''t have the international thing to think about, I''d probably just plan a second honeymoon for our first anniversary.

 

[meresal]

Date: 8/14/2008 1:50:00 PM
Author: loverocks
I think it is a sweet idea for the two of you. However, I would caution that you need to be really okay with the idea the no one else might come. It is very very soon after your wedding (1 year), and they really may not be able to find the time, money, whatever, to be able to go. I think if it is important to you that others are present at your renewal, maybe you could plan it for your 5 year? Also you may want to consider that while you might not say it, your immeadiate family and very very close friends might feel pressured that they *have* to go even though it might not be good timing coming so soon off your wedding.

That's the thing... we really want a destination wedding, but we want our friends to be at our wedding more. Which is why we are leaning towards the traditional in our home state. A year is not enough time for all of our friends to save up that kind of money and we would never ask them to. We wouldn't be dissapointed if no one came, because they were already at our wedding.

The destination vow renewal would be strictly for us, so that we could have our beach thing too. We would more than likely only ask our families if they wanted to come along, becasue they were ALL looking forward to a big family vacation. I wouldn't be sending out invitations or anything... more "word of mouth".


ETA, Octavia: Your celebration sounds like a great idea. And yes these airlines prices are crazy. The second honeymoon is kind of what I'm thinking, just with an open invitation if anyone else wants to come.

 

[loverocks]

From what your describing in your last post it does seem a little more low key then I thought and you are okay if it is just the two of you.........so.......why not? It would be great! If you are going on vaca anyway to celebrate your anniversary I would do it. If others could also join you, alll the better.
Also, you get to buy another dress that would be beach appropriate

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Sounds fun to me and like a good compromise, if y''all want to do it then go for it!! Only other option I can think of would be to do the renewal at like the 5 year mark or something, but hey a second mini-wedding beach style? Sounds fun to me!

 

[meresal]

Thanks girls!! Now I just have to get FI on board. He was shocked at vow renewal when I brought it up last night... I think it''s just going to need to be labeled as a second ceremony.

Two dresses, woo hoo!!