Wedding Late invitees to our RD

[zoebartlett]

Hi All!

I was wondering if you could please help me with something. Our venue for our rehearsal dinner can seat up to 50, but it would be pushing it to actually seat 50. I''ve always wanted to invite 2 of my cousins (brother and sister) and their children (neither spouse is able to attend the wedding, and their children are 3, 5, and a newborn). At one point, we had 48 on our guest list, not including my 2 cousins. We made the decision not to invite them because of space, although I was really sad not to be able to included them (we''ve been to both of their RDs). My mom spoke to their mom and she mentioned that her kids would probably have just as much fun going out for lobster and bringing their kids to the beach. She said no worries, but I worried anyway.

Now, about a month later, we have 38 people on our RD guest list, so we have room to add them. It would be kind of on the tight side, but it does fall under the "too tight to be comfortable" category. Since our RD is only 2 weeks away, this is clearly a last minute invitation. I''ve known for a couple weeks that we had room to invite my cousins after all, but I kept hemming and hawing. Now I''m fearing it''s too late. I don''t want to appear to be rude in asking them NOW, because if they had known about it when our other guests did, they could have made sure to plan their arrival into town accordingly. One is flying in and then driving about an hour from the airport, and the other one is driving about 6 hours. But I couldn''t let them know back them because at the time, we were cutting it close.

What should we do? I have the e-mail I''m planning on sending to both cousins that I can post, but I''m not sure how to word it. I''m embarrassed to be inviting them so last minute -- I don''t want them to feel like a B list guest. I feel like I''m in a no win situation. Either invite them and fear that they''ll resent us for them being second thoughts (which they weren''t), OR not invite them and regret it.

Maybe I''m thinking about this way too much, and I know I''m rambling. Anyway, what would you do? Thanks!!

 

[Haven]

I would be honest with them and tell them that I really want them to be at the RD, and I sincerely apologize for the late invite. You don''t have to get into all the details of how this invite came about, and I know if I were on the receiving end of such an invitation I''d be touched even if it was a bit late.

If it makes you feel better, our RD invitees didn''t get their invites until this past Monday, and our RD is on Thursday. Don''t ask. I was clearly NOT the one in control of getting those invitations out. Needless to say, I contacted all of my guests on the RD list and told them of the details before they received the invitation.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 6/27/2008 11:51:04 PM
Author: Haven
I would be honest with them and tell them that I really want them to be at the RD, and I sincerely apologize for the late invite. You don''t have to get into all the details of how this invite came about, and I know if I were on the receiving end of such an invitation I''d be touched even if it was a bit late.

If it makes you feel better, our RD invitees didn''t get their invites until this past Monday, and our RD is on Thursday. Don''t ask. I was clearly NOT the one in control of getting those invitations out. Needless to say, I contacted all of my guests on the RD list and told them of the details before they received the invitation.

Thanks Haven! So you wouldn''t feel a bit ticked that the invitation is arriving so late? My cousins'' mom is coming, so I know they already know about it (and have probably known about it for a while). I just don''t want there to be any awkwardness.

How''s this? Obviously I took out names, so it reads more formally or something than it really is. I wasn''t sure about the sentence in red.

Hi Cousin,

Mr. Bartlett and I would like to invite you and your son to our rehearsal dinner on Friday, July [date] at [time] at [place]. I''ll send an invitation to you in the mail on Monday, but I wanted to let you know about it over the weekend. We apologize for the late notice, but we hope you and your son can make it. The seating issue we once had has just been resolved, which is why this invitation is so late in coming. I''m not sure what your travel plans are -- I know the dinner''s at an early hour of the day [it’s at 5:00].

The menu options are jumbo shrimp linguine, steak tips, maple walnut chicken, and broiled salmon with citrus hoisin sauce. There''s a kid''s menu as well that includes prime rib au jus, chicken nuggets, broiled scallops or haddock, and pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. If you do plan to attend, just let me know what you and your son would like.
I''m sending this to your sister as well. We hope you guys can come, and again, we apologize for the late notice.

Take care,
Zoe

 

[Haven]

The email looks great. It is sweet and honest. Perhaps you can put in a phone call and say those things instead of email them? I always feel like phone conversations are more personal than email.

I might even leave out the bit in red. I don''t think you need to explain unless they ask, which I doubt they would.

I really wouldn''t be miffed at all, but I''m generally a super happy person and I don''t allow much to ruin my mood. Seriously, though, circumstances have changed and you would love to have them at the dinner. Why not invite them?