Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like?

[swingirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I am a Leon lover and also a small business owner. Usually after I put together several quotes for a potential client and don't get any of the jobs I pass on future quotes. Quoting is time consuming and I figure they are picking my brain and using me to justify the price of another vendor. Sometimes this is true and sometimes it is not. I've had clients say, "I really want to work with you but I only have $$ for the $$$$$$$ service. What do you suggest." That shows that they really want to work with me and we just need to iron out the details. Every business person has to decide how to handle such issues.

I have heard other PSers say after 3 quotes Leon passes on future quotes. Instead of asking for yet another quote, you'd be better off saying, "I want a 3/4 string band but have a budget of $xxx. Is it doable?"

Certainly you can find another vendor to create a ring that is very close. But I have not seen anyone produce a band as thin as his string bands.

 

[panda08]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

To answer OP's question, yes, I would get a WB that DH didn't like. In fact, we got vastly different WBs. I wasn't a YG fan, especially the high karat YG and he got a wide 22K hammered YG band. It's totally grown on me and it's gorgeous. I got a platinum eternity band, which was totally not his taste. We both got what we liked!

Get what you want, especially since your FI is giving you the green light!

Sorry to hear about Leon. I want to like that guy but find it hard to do so when I read story after story like yours. And it's not just the poor customer service skills. It's his cash only policy, which essentially means that if you're not satisfied with his product, you're assed out. It's the expensive shipping cost. It's his cavalier and condescending attitude. There are vendors out there who produce beautiful pieces without the burdens that come with working with LM. He made my original ering and I recently asked him for a quote for my upgrade. I had some pics of what I wanted and he asked me to forward them to him. I did and never heard from him again. No matter. What I had in mind isn't anything like what he produces, as my tastes have veered farther and farther away from his style. Even though his work is lovely, I no longer desire to own anything else from him, especially since I don't want to reward poor behavior or consent to oppressive policies.

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Maybe I can add a little perspective on this question since my 33rd anniversary is a week away. Ladies, get what thrills YOU. You will be wearing it a long time (we hope!).

1) Your Intended may not know a darn thing about jewelry or gems, right? It's your interest, not his, which is fine. If asked, most guys will offer an opinion off the top of their heads -- because they feel required to answer something, but it isn't a matter of grave importance to them as to you. They feel they ought to be nice & come up with a response. My husband would be thinking, "Well, my mother's didn't look like that" because he'd have nothing else to compare it with.

2) In a short time he will either decide he likes your choice after all, or he will not notice it at all anymore. Hard to believe when you're in the throes of bliss, but mundane life creeps in fairly quickly. Work, kids, household, sports...he's looking at YOU, not your ring. Honestly, my husband does not notice now whether or not I'm even wearing one. He has occasionally spotted a new piece of jewelry on my dresser & asked, "Oh, something new?" If it's too expensive to tell him, I say, "I've had that FOREVER." He grunts, oh, and returns to his car magazine.

I don't mean this to sound negative or cynical -- it's simply not a heartfelt issue to most guys, while it is to us. I don't care what kind of tail lights a certain car has & it's a Big Deal to him, that's great! Different interests. Let him get a ring he likes for himself & do yourself the same favor. I guarantee it will matter to you much longer than to him.

--- Laurie

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I'm sorry you had to find out first hand, just how arrogant Leon can be. Forget him. He's not the only guy in town. You can get literally anything you want from quite a few of our vendors. They are only too happy to please.

 

[rosetta]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I sourced a stone with perry then Leon didn't want to make my rings sit flush. So I decided against making him do something he didn't want to and passed. I asked for a quote for a band alone, just one quote, I was completely decided.

I never heard back. It's like because I didn't want the 30k ring, they no longer wanted to sell me a 3k ring. I might be wrong, but that's what it felt like.

I've dropped the whole idea.

Sorry for threadjack! My other half has no opinion on jewellery so I buy what I want.

 

[Circe]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

My husband turned out to have surprisingly strong feelings about the wedding band. I had been leaning towards an eternity band of one sort or another, and he thought it looked ostentatious paired with my e-ring. I factored in the whole wedding-band-represents-marriage thing, and compromised with an scattered diamond etoile band. Since then, I've acquired two anniversary bands that I wear stacked, separately, or with the e-ring: like JewelFreak says, he doesn't seem to care in practice, only in theory. So everybody wins!

I will say, I'm glad I went with the etoile band for everyday wear. With the eternities, I worry about whether or not they're clean, I worry about using my hands ... with my wedding band, I don't want to be taking it on and off all the time and worrying about it! That said, the etoile is a thicker band (mine is something like 2.7 mm, I think), and I wear mind on my right hand because I prefer the look and the symbolism. To each their own!

 

[stepcutgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I'm at work so I can't respond to everyone right now but wanted to say thank you for all the comments and that I also believe other companies can do a ring nearly like the string theory band. I believe I'm still going to get the jazz look alike because that one feels the most like me and I wouldn't worry as much about it as I would a prong set eternity, but a string look alike is still an option.

To the poster who said you understood his policy, I do understand where you are coming from. My thoughts on the matter are this is the 3rd quote I've asked for. And for the other two i explained that I really wanted to work with him and that I couldn't on the ering for x reason. As far as the string theory goes, he should know that piece like the back of his hand and if he is willing to do a half or three quarter version. In the time he took out of his day to say to me that I was taking time out of his day he could have answered my question and possibly had a new client.

Dreamer-When I get home I will post the letter in RT.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

how about...... getting both rings but not wearing them together other on the big day or rarely when 'gaudy' fits the bill?

I have always and will always be a big fan of plain bands for wedding rings and diamond bands as auxiliary or anniversary if you can wait it out. Doesn't mean you have to wear the plain band all the time, but it sure is occasionally handy to have one! Plus the plain band and the "bubble" band would look awesome together as a change of pace without the solitaire. I do like options, but I love the symbolism and humble classic look of a plain band for the actual vows.

 

[stepcutgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Cehra-That is exactly what I plan to do!

 

[diva rose]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Wow - I'm stunned by Leon's response.
Such a shame - I was planning on getting him to design a ring for my mother's 60th.
Hm...I might reconsider it now - don't want to deal with attitude.
On the plus side..at least he responded.

I think as much as sellers hate giving out quotes and it's time consuming, a good seller would make sure to attend to every email/enquiry - no matter how small the purchase or long it takes. It just creates good business and rapport.

I've asked jewellers for quotes - was I shopping around? No I wasn't. I was planning on buying from them and wanted to see how much it would be so I can put aside money for that item. Sadly, some don't reply - so the way I see it is - I take my money to someone who will make time for me. In the end, it is their loss.

Sorry to hear about your bad experience with Leon.

Back to the question - I voted 'no'. For me, a wedding band represents the union of both parties, so we both need to like it/feel it.

BTW Brain Gavin has some nice eternity bands - have you checked out the selection?

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

how about...... getting both rings but not wearing them together other on the big day or rarely when 'gaudy' fits the bill?

I have always and will always be a big fan of plain bands for wedding rings and diamond bands as auxiliary or anniversary if you can wait it out. Doesn't mean you have to wear the plain band all the time, but it sure is occasionally handy to have one! Plus the plain band and the "bubble" band would look awesome together as a change of pace without the solitaire. I do like options, but I love the symbolism and humble classic look of a plain band for the actual vows.

Great way to do it! Variety is so much fun. My wedding ring is a half-eternity of round diamonds (my mother's from her 1st husband, killed in WWII); I have a 3-stone "engagement" ring we bought about 8 yrs later 'cause we couldn't afford one when we got married (2 diamonds & a sapphire); I have another thin diamond half-eternity w/alternating baguettes & emerald cuts; and a narrow diamond/emerald eternity band. Once in a while I stack the whole schmoo but wear the 2 diamond bands every day but sometimes alternate the others however I feel like. I used to wear my grandmother's plain gold band, which she left to me, with just 1 or 2 of the other rings but <<boo hoo>> I can't get it on anymore!

Anything you like that goes together is good for the soul!

--- Laurie

 

[TooPatient]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I voted NO.

My FI doesn't know much about jewelry and may not be able to explain exacly WHY he doesn't like a particular ring, but a wedding band is an important purchase and is supposed to symbolize your (using the general "you" in this post to apply to any couple) love and commitment to each other. When he slips it on your finger, it is the start of your new life together -- in this life you'll both have to compromise and work together to find things you both enjoy. I think looking at, sketching, and trying on rings for as many hours as it takes to find a ring that BOTH like is a good foundation for a life of many more hours of searching for the right (paint color, new home, car, home remodel, new city, new bed, furniture, etc).

 

[packrat]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Yes I would get what I liked even if he didn't. Yes it symbolizes your marriage, but it's a symbol. I've got several different bands I wear as a wedding band, depending on my weight and the humidity. I don't however have a husband to go w/each, I just keep the one, and he stays regardless of my weight or how humid it is outside. It's one thing for a guy to have a say in paint colors in a house he lives in, or extras on a car he's also going to drive, but unless he's planning on wearing it too or we're getting identical bands (which we do happen to have and he did happen to have a say in them), I'll make the final decision. What your wedding ring looks like has no bearing on how much you love each other and how much work a couple puts into a marriage.

 

[bee*]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Yes I would. I buy and wear what I like, not what my husband likes. It's always a plus if he likes what I have but I don't base my decision on it.

 

[geckodani]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

If I was on the fence between two settings I might pick the one my husband liked better...but as for your situation, I think it would depend on two factors - how MUCH he disliked it vs how much I liked it. If it was like angels singing to me and he was like eh it's kinda ugly I'd get it. But if he was like oh horrors this is repulsive and I was like but it's pretty... I wouldn't.

Same here. If he thought it was the ugliest thing to ever be seen on this earth I might reconsider. But if you love it and he doesn't vehemently object - go for it. You're the one wearing it. I actually did run into a situation where I was debating between two different bezel bands, one with all rounds (very similar to the Jazz) and one with alternating rounds and princess cuts. DH hated the alternating shapes, so I went with the all round. I could have gone either way, and so I took his opinion and went with all round.

Ultimately it depends on how much it will bother you if you think he doesn't like it. Since he's said to get what you want, I'd take him at his word.

 

[geckodani]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

how about...... getting both rings but not wearing them together other on the big day or rarely when 'gaudy' fits the bill?

I have always and will always be a big fan of plain bands for wedding rings and diamond bands as auxiliary or anniversary if you can wait it out. Doesn't mean you have to wear the plain band all the time, but it sure is occasionally handy to have one! Plus the plain band and the "bubble" band would look awesome together as a change of pace without the solitaire. I do like options, but I love the symbolism and humble classic look of a plain band for the actual vows.

I seem to be quoting Cehrabehra a lot. I agree with this too - and I actually have a plain band that I pair with my bezel band when I am not wearing my solitaire for whatever reason, LOL! It works out well.

P.S. Sorry about Leon. He's interesting.

 

[stepcutgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Thanks for the comments. I'm feeling much more sure about getting the jazz style band. It isn't his style, but it is mine.

 

[Laila619]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I ask my hub for his opinions, but if I really liked something and he was eh on it, I would probably still get it anyway. DH has pretty good taste. He mostly tells me to get whatever makes me happy though.

 

[shihtzulover]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I would definitely consider his input, but it would honestly depend upon how much I loved it. I'm often the type of person who sees something, loves it, and has to have it. If that were the case (as it most likely would be), then I would probably get it anyway.

Of course, when the time comes, my FF will have to final say on his ring, too. Sure, I would love for him to pick something that I like as well - but if I don't like it, it's not a huge deal. After all, he'll be the one wearing it.

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I just asked my husband how he'd react if I wanted to get a wedding band that he wasn't crazy about. He suggested that (hypothetically) I look for somethig that I like just as much and that he'd like as well. He told me it would be a lot of money to spend, and although he obviously wouldn't be the one wearing it, he wants to like it and appreciate the ring like I would. (I will add that he's way more sentimental about "our" rings than most guys seem to be.) That's his perspective anyway. I'm pretty sure that if I was ever in this situation, I could wear him down though and get him to agree to what I wanted, as long as it stayed within budget.

I LOVE the jazz band, and I think if it wouldn't cause major issues between you two, I'd probably get it. It's a beautiful ring.

ETA: I just began reading this thread, so there may be an update that I haven't gotten to yet. I'm a little late replying to this thread.

 

[yssie]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

To answer the original q - not unless I LOVED it, and then yes, I would! Esp. since it doesn't sound like his feelings are all that strong (though who knows why they would be, really )

LOVE the band w/ your Ering, btw

Leon's continued business baffles me, frankly. How does he defy all good business sense and still prosper?

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Since I would be wearing it hopefully} for the rest of ,y life, I would get what i want.

eta: I've been married 27 years and must have 10 different wedding bands--he, on the other hand, has NEVER taken his off--when he had major surgery he had it taped to ensure it wouldn't be removed. HOW BORING!!!!!!!

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Since I would be wearing it hopefully} for the rest of ,y life, I would get what i want.

eta: I've been married 27 years and must have 10 different wedding bands--he, on the other hand, has NEVER taken his off--when he had major surgery he had it taped to ensure it wouldn't be removed. HOW BORING!!!!!!!

I'm with you! When I told my husband about this thread, he laughed when I suggested letting him have the last word on my jewelry -- wedding or otherwise. He couldn't care less, as long as I don't spend the mortgage. It simply isn't interesting to him. However, if I asked him for an opinion, he'd give one...but it would be off the top of his head, not based on knowledge or a shared sense of style.

Some decisions are lovely to share, some are shared because they must be when 2 people live together, but when it comes to something we wear, I vote for what makes YOU feel prettiest. If you wouldn't give him the final say on your clothing, why would you on rings you wear & look at every day? They may be a symbol, but they're only a symbol. And I repeat that after the 1st 6 months, unless he too is a jewel nut, he won't notice one way or the other.

---Laurie

 

[stepcutgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Since I would be wearing it hopefully} for the rest of ,y life, I would get what i want.

eta: I've been married 27 years and must have 10 different wedding bands--he, on the other hand, has NEVER taken his off--when he had major surgery he had it taped to ensure it wouldn't be removed. HOW BORING!!!!!!!

I'm with you! When I told my husband about this thread, he laughed when I suggested letting him have the last word on my jewelry -- wedding or otherwise. He couldn't care less, as long as I don't spend the mortgage. It simply isn't interesting to him. However, if I asked him for an opinion, he'd give one...but it would be off the top of his head, not based on knowledge or a shared sense of style.

Some decisions are lovely to share, some are shared because they must be when 2 people live together, but when it comes to something we wear, I vote for what makes YOU feel prettiest. If you wouldn't give him the final say on your clothing, why would you on rings you wear & look at every day? They may be a symbol, but they're only a symbol. And I repeat that after the 1st 6 months, unless he too is a jewel nut, he won't notice one way or the other.

---Laurie

I agree with both of you, I just needed someone to reassure me that I wasn't being selfish because it is a wedding band. Amber-I think that is so sweet that your husband has never taken his off!

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I just needed someone to reassure me that I wasn't being selfish because it is a wedding band.

In a short time, stepcutgirl, I guarantee he'll love what you chose because he loves YOU! An Englishman said it perfectly last night, I'm going to paste this to my husband's forehead: "happy wife....happy life."

--- Laurie

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

[quote="JewelFreakAn Englishman said it perfectly last night, I'm going to paste this to my husband's forehead: "happy wife....happy life."
--- Laurie[/quote]

He can't read his own forehead - I suggest taping it to yours

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

I actually second Circe's comment about the practicality of a plain band. I have a half eternity which was my original wb, and another as a baby ring, but you know what I wear 80% of the time? My plain band. Get both and use both in the ceremoy if symbolism matters to you.

 

[stepcutgirl]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

Thanks! I do plan to get both a plain and the half bezel band.

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Ladies, would you get a wedding ring your DH didn't like

[quote="JewelFreakAn Englishman said it perfectly last night, I'm going to paste this to my husband's forehead: "happy wife....happy life."
--- Laurie

He can't read his own forehead - I suggest taping it to yours [/quote]

LOL. Right. Think I'll put it on his shaving mirror. I already told him to look for it.

Stepcutgirl, sounds like a great plan for your ring!

--- Laurie