Knock some sense into me please about my wedding set!

[lightningbug]

I think yellow gold is very pretty ~ honestly, it''s far more flattering on many skin tones than platinum or white gold. Plus, it''s definitely coming back in style. I say, if you can''t be with the one you love, then love the one you''re with. This is a mind thing. Sure, you could spend a bazillion and have the *perfect* set, but how long would that last? Is any of us ever completely satisfied? You''re talking to a group of lifelong optimizers. If you''re happy here on PS, I bet you''re an optimizer, too.

Try to rock that yellow gold. Congrats on optimizing your *budget*, by the way. That''s a lot harder to accomplish than buying rings.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 5/11/2010 11:22:39 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 5/11/2010 11:18:19 PM
Author: dreamer_d
My two cents is that even when you are paying off debt and you have other financial priorities, it is still ok to allot a small amount of money towards fun things. Life is too short to be all work and no play. What is a reasonable amount? Depends on your situation, but surely you will spend some money on birthday or other gifts, perhaps you can forgo those and other types of non-essentials in favour of stashing the money away for the reset-- the latte money, the manicure money, the clothing budget, all those little things add up. Maybe you can afford to stash away $50 or $100 per month. I don''t personally think there is anything wrong with having something a little special as long as you are also putting a reasonable amount towards debt and other things. If you just want a white metal you can get a simple solitaire and wedding band for well under $1000, maybe even as little as $500.

But that is me, others obviously think that if you have any debt at all then you must live like a monk until it is gone.

HA! Nope, I''m with you dreamer-even people with debt deserve to have fun, even if that fun costs money. But I haven''t read any Dave Ramsey-maybe that would change my mind!

I read some books like that, and watch the shows at times. It is very convincing, like the Atkins diet. But perhaps, also like Atkins, not sustainable for every person long term

But there are other diets that can work too, and still allow you to have a small slice of cake on your birthday!

 

[grassisalwaysgreener]

Thank you everyone. Just doing a drive by post because it''s quite late but wanted to thank everyone for making such good points. I really don''t think I''ll be rhodium plating as I''d rather take that $50 and set it aside into a ring fund. Maybe if I really start to dislike the yellow gold then I''ll try it! I just feel like I need to embrace the yellow gold and love it than try to fight it. I do think if my e-ring setting was nicer, I''d like my set more. I do love that my wedding set is the same metal as DH''s so we kind of match

(so silly, I know!). I was flipping through an old issue of US Weekly tonight and saw that Katy Perry''s engagement ring is yellow gold! So maybe it really is coming back in style?

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

It will go in and out of style, along with white metals. I never see white metals for wedding sets where I live.

When I got my wedding set, my mother was disappointed. It wasn''t a real wedding ring, it wasn''t gold. It depends on your perspective. My mother, bless her, worries that people will think I''m "an unmarried mother" when we''re out together, because I wear my platinum wedding ring or eternity band and don''t have a yellow gold band. She''s genuinely embarassed.

There - you may not love the colour of your set, but at least you don''t have my mother.

Yellow gold is the ultimate classic - it will never really go out of style, I don''t think.

 

[susimoo]

Hi

Yellow gold lover over here!!

I love all types of jewellery but honestly my yellow gold set suits me best. I have white gold pieces and I have to re rhodium them at least once a year, so I hate the fuss and expense. I also feel platinum looks kind of steel like on my skin so I am happy to stick with yellow gold with the diamonds set in platinum.

I won''t make comment on your finances as only you can really make that call.

With regards to what is in fashion. What is in today will be old tomorrow and vice versa. Go with your hearts desire not what the jewellery catalogues/shops/fairs are saying because next year it will be all be different again. It is a business after all. Its not like the powers that be will say platinum is it, yellow gold will be outdated forever. They will always move it on, recycle and try and resell us old ideas as new. So it is important that you change for the right reasons not by the fickle world of fashion.

Either way I hope you find a solution that can satisfy you. We are all diamond and jewellery fanatics, no one would think bad of you for doing what you are doing. We are all on here for the jewellery kick! Enjoy yours whatever you do. Good luck.

 

[Sizzle]

Date: 5/12/2010 3:47:37 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
It will go in and out of style, along with white metals. I never see white metals for wedding sets where I live.

When I got my wedding set, my mother was disappointed. It wasn''t a real wedding ring, it wasn''t gold. It depends on your perspective. My mother, bless her, worries that people will think I''m ''an unmarried mother'' when we''re out together, because I wear my platinum wedding ring or eternity band and don''t have a yellow gold band. She''s genuinely embarassed.

There - you may not love the colour of your set, but at least you don''t have my mother.

Yellow gold is the ultimate classic - it will never really go out of style, I don''t think.

heaven forbid!

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 5/12/2010 7:56:41 AM
Author: Sizzle

Date: 5/12/2010 3:47:37 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
It will go in and out of style, along with white metals. I never see white metals for wedding sets where I live.

When I got my wedding set, my mother was disappointed. It wasn''t a real wedding ring, it wasn''t gold. It depends on your perspective. My mother, bless her, worries that people will think I''m ''an unmarried mother'' when we''re out together, because I wear my platinum wedding ring or eternity band and don''t have a yellow gold band. She''s genuinely embarassed.

There - you may not love the colour of your set, but at least you don''t have my mother.

Yellow gold is the ultimate classic - it will never really go out of style, I don''t think.

heaven forbid!

I know! She''s unique (I hope).

I didn''t change my name when I got married, and my mother insists on addressing any mail to me with Mrs Mitchell in case the postal workers think I''m living in sin.

If I admitted I was wrong and bought a yellow gold wedding band, she''d heave a sigh of relief.

 

[rhbgirl24]

My set is two - toned, white and yellow gold, so I by no means think yellow gold looks dated. There are some BEAUTIFUL sets on here as well. I think you need to find a way to LOVE your set again, not worry about replacing it at the moment, if you aren't comfortable with that. So easy solution is to get it plated!

Good luck and no need to be embarrassed!

 

[E B]

Date: 5/11/2010 11:18:19 PM
Author: dreamer_d
My two cents is that even when you are paying off debt and you have other financial priorities, it is still ok to allot a small amount of money towards fun things. Life is too short to be all work and no play. What is a reasonable amount? Depends on your situation, but surely you will spend some money on birthday or other gifts, perhaps you can forgo those and other types of non-essentials in favour of stashing the money away for the reset-- the latte money, the manicure money, the clothing budget, all those little things add up. Maybe you can afford to stash away $50 or $100 per month. I don't personally think there is anything wrong with having something a little special as long as you are also putting a reasonable amount towards debt and other things. If you just want a white metal you can get a simple solitaire and wedding band for well under $1000, maybe even as little as $500.

But that is me, others obviously think that if you have any debt at all then you must live like a monk until it is gone.

AGREED!

If grass spent $500 on a simple reset (either just setting, or settting + band) it'd be as if she was spending $0.13 a day over 10 years. Not a bad deal for something you wear every day, right?

 

[RaiKai]

I am not sure why you feel embarrassed around these parts about coveting another style! Not many people around here would think twice about it.

I agree with those who have said yellow gold is classic and still timeless. And it is coming back in again! It should be more about what looks good on and for you anyway, in my own opinion. Things go in and out of style...but your wedding rings are not just about being trendy. For me, that is what your right hand is for!

I know plenty of women who have rings that definitely indicate the time they were engaged (i.e. yellow gold, thick shanks, marquise cut)....however they all love them as much today as they did then. I actually like that that peoples rings do represent that time in their life when they were engaged/married!

I note people in my real life tend to not upgrade their e-rings or wedding bands (though they may buy other jewelery). When I was on the hunt for my own rings, I tried to avoid anything trendy...however....I still know one day they will likely represent a certain time as new styles will have come (and maybe white gold will be passe by then!) and gone and I love that. After all, even if you get a new setting, in a few more years THAT might be "dated" in respect of the current trends!

If you aren't in love with your rings...then certainly start saving the money (assuming your DH is also agreeable) for a new setting, but don't worry about your current set being "dated". For me personally, a wedding set can never really get dated - it is a bit more immune to the trends I guess, in my personal opinion.

 

[Sizzle]

Date: 5/12/2010 8:01:57 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 5/12/2010 7:56:41 AM
Author: Sizzle

Date: 5/12/2010 3:47:37 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
It will go in and out of style, along with white metals. I never see white metals for wedding sets where I live.

When I got my wedding set, my mother was disappointed. It wasn''t a real wedding ring, it wasn''t gold. It depends on your perspective. My mother, bless her, worries that people will think I''m ''an unmarried mother'' when we''re out together, because I wear my platinum wedding ring or eternity band and don''t have a yellow gold band. She''s genuinely embarassed.

There - you may not love the colour of your set, but at least you don''t have my mother.

Yellow gold is the ultimate classic - it will never really go out of style, I don''t think.

heaven forbid!

I know! She''s unique (I hope).

I didn''t change my name when I got married, and my mother insists on addressing any mail to me with Mrs Mitchell in case the postal workers think I''m living in sin.

If I admitted I was wrong and bought a yellow gold wedding band, she''d heave a sigh of relief.

LMAO! I love mom''s. They just are who they are. I wonder what craziness my daughter thinks I have! ha ha ha

 

[grassisalwaysgreener]

Just to clarify- we''ll be out of credit card debt in 3 years, but we want to build a 6 months in expenses emergency fund, start putting more into DH''s 401K, pay cash or close to cash for our next cars and start college accounts for our kids, hence why I said 10 years before I feel like I can splurge on a new beautiful platinum set. We haven''t used a single credit card in 11 months, paid off $14,000 in credit card debt in the last 11 months and if we can, never use a credit card again. We may have to finance our next cars, but we''ll be putting a nice down payment down for it! But what others have said is true, that we would set aside SOME fun money for each other during the holidays/birthdays and I could always take that put it into a "future ring" account.

But I went to my jeweler this morning to try the rhodium plating since so many suggested it and browsed a bit while waiting for him to wait on me. They have in their clearance case a 14k white gold double prong trellis setting discounted down to $149 plus $40 to set my diamond. And a 14k white gold bezel set diamond band for $129 that matched beautifully. It''s only 7 tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny diamonds across the top- 2mm wide- but it matches so well with the setting. I nixed the rhodium plating idea and am back home thinking about switching to it as a temporary (if you can call temporary a few years, lol) set while we save up for what I really want. The white gold just looks so much better with my skin tone and now i have no doubt in my mind that I''ll be happiest if my set is a white metal. I have a call into DH to see if he gives the ok and then decide soon as it''s been discontinued and the last one my jeweler has. He did have a 14k white gold "tiffany" style setting but it wasn''t as nice as the trellis, and was $199. I just need to think this through.

 

[junebug17]

Grass, it sounds to me like you may have stumbled upon a good solution! I agree with other posters that you don''t have to live like a monk (I really liked that dreamer!) just because you have some debt. And if this new setting means you will genuinely enjoy your rings more, it may very well be worth it. This isn''t really going to be a temporary setting, sounds like you will wear it for years. And you could just forego birthday and Christmas gifts for several years to cover this set. Hopefully dh will feel the same as me! But I think you''ve come up with a good compromise if you and the hubs are on the same page. Keep us posted!

 

[HopeDream]

Grassisalwaysgreener that economical temporary setting sounds like the way to go, and it wouldn''t be difficult to switch back if you change your mind.
Take some time to think on it. In the grand scheme of things $320 plus tax for a new set isn''t that much, but it would buy a whole bunch of pizza.

 

[LGK]

Date: 5/12/2010 12:13:47 PM
Author: grassisalwaysgreener
Just to clarify- we''ll be out of credit card debt in 3 years, but we want to build a 6 months in expenses emergency fund, start putting more into DH''s 401K, pay cash or close to cash for our next cars and start college accounts for our kids, hence why I said 10 years before I feel like I can splurge on a new beautiful platinum set. We haven''t used a single credit card in 11 months, paid off $14,000 in credit card debt in the last 11 months and if we can, never use a credit card again. We may have to finance our next cars, but we''ll be putting a nice down payment down for it! But what others have said is true, that we would set aside SOME fun money for each other during the holidays/birthdays and I could always take that put it into a ''future ring'' account.

But I went to my jeweler this morning to try the rhodium plating since so many suggested it and browsed a bit while waiting for him to wait on me. They have in their clearance case a 14k white gold double prong trellis setting discounted down to $149 plus $40 to set my diamond. And a 14k white gold bezel set diamond band for $129 that matched beautifully. It''s only 7 tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny diamonds across the top- 2mm wide- but it matches so well with the setting. I nixed the rhodium plating idea and am back home thinking about switching to it as a temporary (if you can call temporary a few years, lol) set while we save up for what I really want. The white gold just looks so much better with my skin tone and now i have no doubt in my mind that I''ll be happiest if my set is a white metal. I have a call into DH to see if he gives the ok and then decide soon as it''s been discontinued and the last one my jeweler has. He did have a 14k white gold ''tiffany'' style setting but it wasn''t as nice as the trellis, and was $199. I just need to think this through.

Do it! That was what I was going to suggest- do some major bargain hunting for a nice cheap setting that''ll work for a few years at least. I''ve found brand-new white gold ones that are "good enough for now" for $250ish, and very ornate antique filigree platinum ones for $700ish. If you shop in the lower end for settings and aren''t, like, coveting a Leon or something, it''s not a ginormous expenditure and not unreasonable IMO. If the set you found in person doesn''t work, you might try eBay, since I do find it''s a great place for 2nd hand jewelry bargains sometimes (especially for settings), you just have to pay attention to who you''re buying from. Usually I ask questions no matter if I need the answers or not, just to find out how responsive the seller is.

 

[marcy]

Sounds like you stumbled on quite a deal and can get something you will like in WG for a very reasonable price. I hope DH agrees. Good luck.

 

[pwendyp]

hi there

Have you considered the alternative of having your wedding set made ''softer'' in look? By perhaps sandblasting, hammering - or whatever might work for your particular set, and what your jeweller might advise?

There''s a massive plethora of yellow gold pieces on the brushed is beautiful...(scroll down about halfway down the page)

This ring would look as stunning in polished gold, but in my opinion, the brushed look just lifts it into another ''level'' - bang up to date, and simply beautiful.

Just another idea to mull over