Polar E Bear
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2007
- Messages
- 8
I know I''ve seen a lot of threads on the kids vs. no kids issue here before, and it has really helped reading about other people struggling through the same thing. For us, it''s become the hardest issue we''ve faced so far. I love reading all the advice here, and was hoping someone might have some suggestions for us.
FI has a really big extended family, including over a dozen infants and many more toddlers and children. Partly because of cost, but mostly because a large number of the parents have demonstrated again and again their unwillingness to control their children at family functions, we decided no kids at the wedding. FMIL especially endorsed this idea, as she has seen more than any of us the havoc these kids can wreak. FI has been very firm and very successful in enforcing this rule with his side. The problem is coming in on my side, on two particularly stubborn cases with babies that are less than one-year old. One mother is in my wedding party, and the other mother is a close family friend. Both are out-of-towners, and neither is willing to leave her baby with anyone. I really want the first mother to be in my wedding, and my mother has been telling me I have to accommodate the family friend (and I can''t completely discount my mother''s opinion, as she''s paying for a large portion of the wedding).
The best compromise I could come up with was that we''d have a separate room for the two babies at the venue, and we''d pay to hire a babysitter to be in that room. That way, the babies would be on site and the mothers could check in whenever they wanted, but still be present for at least parts of the wedding. The offer was not well-received. One mother seemed offended at having to "hide" her baby, and the other refused to leave her baby for any length of time and is leaning towards not coming at all. My mother is so upset that I won''t make an exception for her friend, she suggested to me that maybe it wasn''t too late to just elope and spare them all the trouble. I''m afraid my once-close relationship with my bridesmaid is being threatened. These two babies are causing us so much angst, part of me just wants to give up and allow kids after all. Another part of me imagines walking down the aisle surrounded by what looks and sounds like a noisy nursery school, and being miserable knowing I had my wedding hijacked. Just allowing the two babies on my side is obviously not an option, as it would cause endless (and justified) indignation on FI''s side.
It seems like an impossible situation. If we allow kids, it will definitely not be the wedding I want, and I think I''ll be unhappy looking out at the crowd. If we don''t allow any, it will put me on bad terms with my mother and a very close friend/bridesmaid, and I don''t want that at my wedding, either. How can two little babies be the one factor to stand in the way of my dream wedding? What should I do???
FI has a really big extended family, including over a dozen infants and many more toddlers and children. Partly because of cost, but mostly because a large number of the parents have demonstrated again and again their unwillingness to control their children at family functions, we decided no kids at the wedding. FMIL especially endorsed this idea, as she has seen more than any of us the havoc these kids can wreak. FI has been very firm and very successful in enforcing this rule with his side. The problem is coming in on my side, on two particularly stubborn cases with babies that are less than one-year old. One mother is in my wedding party, and the other mother is a close family friend. Both are out-of-towners, and neither is willing to leave her baby with anyone. I really want the first mother to be in my wedding, and my mother has been telling me I have to accommodate the family friend (and I can''t completely discount my mother''s opinion, as she''s paying for a large portion of the wedding).
The best compromise I could come up with was that we''d have a separate room for the two babies at the venue, and we''d pay to hire a babysitter to be in that room. That way, the babies would be on site and the mothers could check in whenever they wanted, but still be present for at least parts of the wedding. The offer was not well-received. One mother seemed offended at having to "hide" her baby, and the other refused to leave her baby for any length of time and is leaning towards not coming at all. My mother is so upset that I won''t make an exception for her friend, she suggested to me that maybe it wasn''t too late to just elope and spare them all the trouble. I''m afraid my once-close relationship with my bridesmaid is being threatened. These two babies are causing us so much angst, part of me just wants to give up and allow kids after all. Another part of me imagines walking down the aisle surrounded by what looks and sounds like a noisy nursery school, and being miserable knowing I had my wedding hijacked. Just allowing the two babies on my side is obviously not an option, as it would cause endless (and justified) indignation on FI''s side.
It seems like an impossible situation. If we allow kids, it will definitely not be the wedding I want, and I think I''ll be unhappy looking out at the crowd. If we don''t allow any, it will put me on bad terms with my mother and a very close friend/bridesmaid, and I don''t want that at my wedding, either. How can two little babies be the one factor to stand in the way of my dream wedding? What should I do???