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Job Dilemma

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White Orchid

Shiny_Rock
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May 4, 2008
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I manage a restaurant and for the last few years have been working towards owning my own one day. But lately I''ve been feeling very down about it. I''m really good at my job, but it''s very stressful and I some days it makes me so miserable. Besides working 10+ hours a day, I''m on call 24/7 and don''t have a life outside work. I''m not a doctor or a fireman, I don''t save lives... I pour coffee. I feel like I''m wasting my energy... I''m newly married and would like to enjoy my time with my husband and start a family.

How does everyone cope? What do you do for a living? I could really use some creative ideas (and maybe some counselling!)
 
Awww White Orchid, I feel for you. It''s a huge burden at times to chart our course in life. To find our calling, passion, purpose, whatever you name it...can be daunting. It causes so much anxiety.

I am good at my job, but it doesn''t fulfill my passion to really make a difference in the world. Being one''s own boss can be very stressful and self-employment is more than a full time job. It sounds like you already are working much more than the average 9-5''er. I have always envied those people who can simply go to work to get the paycheck that supports their life, but for many, the work itself has to be more than simply a paycheck. Many people have to have personal gratification and fulfillment.

I tried counseling for the same issue. It didn''t work, because in the end, I had to choose my own path. One thing that I discovered by talking to a pastry chef at my former employee, was that career counselors and software that they use, can be a very useful guide in determining what occupation would suit your talents and needs.

For example, this pastry chef was a straight guy who liked sports and bike riding and he wasn''t the usual "pastry chef" that I had encountered. I asked him how he came to his choice of occupation and he told me that when he was in college, he took some tests that suggested the top three occupations that fit his personality, time investment, talents, etc. He said the top choice was pastry chef and he told me he laughed his butt off because he had never even cooked. But he decided to humor himself and took a couple classes that would introduce him to the top three occupational choices and was surprised to discover he had a talent for being a pastry chef and the rest was history. He truly is one of the best I have ever worked with, so I am a firm believer. (He also turned out to be gifted at real estate investment and renovation, which was third on the list and he does that with the income from being a pastry chef).

I am still tempted to go to the local university to take whatever computer sorting test that he was provided.

Good Luck, I know this time is stressful, but hopefully, you will get good guidance and make the choices that work best for you.
 
I''m not very good at coping myself, but I just wanted to offer some support because I know how you feel.

I''m a teacher and I spend at least 12 hours a day either at work or at a library doing work, and my entire weekend days grading papers. Usually I''m gone from my house from 6:30 AM to 8 or 9 PM. During seasons when I coach it''s even worse because I have no time at all so I literally work from 7 AM to 1 AM, sleep from 1 to 5 and do it all over again. AND we have all day tournaments on the weekends. If we didn''t have the summers off I physically could not do it.

The only advice I can give is to take back the little free time you do have by feeling empowered to turn down any social invitations that are not more valuable than a little time to yourself. Once I started saying no to Saturday lunches or bridal showers or parties that would eat into my precious alone time I was able to regain some of my sanity. It really does help.

Feel better!
 
I used to manage a restaurant so BOY can I relate!

I thought I wanted to make a career out of it....HA! I ended up quitting and going back to school, like I should have done in the beginning. And you know what? I have NEVER looked back. I don''t miss it even a smidgen.
 
Well I''m glad to see I''m not the only one with job stress issues - not that I expected to be. Thank you for the words of encouragement, I guess I need to do some serious soul searching.
 
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