IYO, any difference b/t wedding debt and E-ring debt?

[Dancing Fire]

we hear it 100's of time on PS...don't get into E-ring debt,but how about getting into wedding debt is that ok?

 

[Haven]

we hear it 100's of time on PS...don't get into E-ring debt,but how about getting into wedding debt is that ok?

I think money and finances is a very personal matter, but IMO I see no difference between any kind of debt people take on to finance luxury purchases or experiences--jewelry, weddings, vacations, etc.

I'd never finance an e-ring, and I'd never finance a wedding. Or any other luxury purchase.

 

[yssie]

we hear it 100's of time on PS...don't get into E-ring debt,but how about getting into wedding debt is that ok?

Bad enough to get into debt for your own engagement ring or wedding... worse to get into debt for your kids' wedding(s)

 

[madelise]

we hear it 100's of time on PS...don't get into E-ring debt,but how about getting into wedding debt is that ok?

I think money and finances is a very personal matter, but IMO I see no difference between any kind of debt people take on to finance luxury purchases or experiences--jewelry, weddings, vacations, etc.

I'd never finance an e-ring, and I'd never finance a wedding. Or any other luxury purchase.

I just posted something on FB that likens this. I got an offer from Discover, "pre approved from your GREAT credit history for 25,000$!" and it suggested I use it for a "family vacation"., and took a photo of it to share. I wrote, "If one doesn't have the $ to go on vacation, then one DOESNT GO on vacation!"



You take on debt for education and necessities like a roof over your head, food, etc if you need to. You don't take on debt for frivolous luxuries. I won't even take out a loan for a car.. and don't understand why people take out loans for luxury cars when they can just pay for a less expensive car without a loan.

Seriously? Taking out 25k for a vacation? Lol, then I wouldn't HAVE good credit!

I vote no for incurring debt for a wedding. There are a bunch of other options, like having the ceremony in a public place, at a church you attend, or in your backyard. Forgoing a reception. Having a smaller wedding. Stupid Kim Kardashian makes everyone want to have a big royal fiesta of sorts. If you aren't royalty, you don't "need" a royal event. A wedding is supposed to be representative of the couple, coming together, and starting a new life together. What kind of life would that be if they're starting out in debt? And how is it anything "about the couple" if you're needing to take a loan out to pay for it, just to impress others?

 

[sonnyjane]

Neither is ok, and honestly if I were forced to choose, I'd rather go into debt over a ring, as that is a tangible item whereas a wedding is a fleeting moment. I'm rather biased, however, since I eloped because I didn't want a wedding.

 

[madelise]

Neither is ok, and honestly if I were forced to choose, I'd rather go into debt over a ring, as that is a tangible item whereas a wedding is a fleeting moment.

Ditto. Tangible.. forever.. and sparkly. And MINE! Not $30k (US Average for a wedding) spent on a bunch of extended family and friends to enjoy a nice dinner.

 

[Dancing Fire]

we hear it 100's of time on PS...don't get into E-ring debt,but how about getting into wedding debt is that ok?

Bad enough to get into debt for your own engagement ring or wedding... worse to get into debt for your kids' wedding(s)

nahh,i ain't gonna pay for my daughter's wedding... maybe their mommy will...

 

[madelise]

we hear it 100's of time on PS...don't get into E-ring debt,but how about getting into wedding debt is that ok?

Bad enough to get into debt for your own engagement ring or wedding... worse to get into debt for your kids' wedding(s)

nahh,i ain't gonna pay for my daughter's wedding... maybe their mommy will...

Chinese culture says.. GUY'S family pays!

 

[JewelFreak]

$30K? For a wedding? Yike! Basically a 30 thousand dollar party. Foolish imo. One night & then all you have is photos -- and when I look at ours after donkey's years, I can barely remember who some of the guests were; there were only 50 of them. I can't understand spending thousands on a wedding dress you'll wear one time in your life, either. $30K is a big portion of a house down-payment; it's the price of a car, or a year at college. I paid for our wedding, which was small, nice, and affordable.

I didn't have an engagement ring because I would've hated the microscopic piece of camel spit we could afford. Rather have nothing; would NEVER have gone into debt for what I'd like -- in fact, I doubt anyone would have given us that amount of credit then. After a thousand years of marriage, I have one -- my avatar -- and probably appreciate it more because it's exactly what I want & thrills the heck out of me & I paid for it without borrowing or major sacrifice.

I'm with Haven -- taking on debt for luxuries or recreation, if you can't pay it back easily, is a recipe for disaster. It's easy to mix up what we want and what we need.

--- Laurie

 

[Amys Bling]

$30K? For a wedding? Yike! Basically a 30 thousand dollar party. Foolish imo. One night & then all you have is photos -- and when I look at ours after donkey's years, I can barely remember who some of the guests were; there were only 50 of them. I can't understand spending thousands on a wedding dress you'll wear one time in your life, either. $30K is a big portion of a house down-payment; it's the price of a car, or a year at college. I paid for our wedding, which was small, nice, and affordable.

I didn't have an engagement ring because I would've hated the microscopic piece of camel spit we could afford. Rather have nothing; would NEVER have gone into debt for what I'd like -- in fact, I doubt anyone would have given us that amount of credit then. After a thousand years of marriage, I have one -- my avatar -- and probably appreciate it more because it's exactly what I want & thrills the heck out of me & I paid for it without borrowing or major sacrifice.

I'm with Haven -- taking on debt for luxuries or recreation, if you can't pay it back easily, is a recipe for disaster. It's easy to mix up what we want and what we need.

--- Laurie

If you have 150 people-,30K doesnt go very far in northern nj!

 

[rosetta]

We spent way, way more than $30k on our wedding. BUT we didn't go into debt, we all shared the cost (ok our parents paid for the vast majority) and it was worth every single penny. Our photos ended up in a national wedding magazine and I'm thrilled with every aspect of our wedding. Wouldn't change a thing.

But if I had to take even a £10 loan for a wedging, I would say no thank you. Same goes for cars, rings, holidays and any other luxury purchase. I'm still loathe to take out a mortgage and have yet to bite the bullet!

 

[Missy]

Not for us. Ditto Haven and Laurie. I also wouldn't go into debt for any luxury item or any non necessity. Not worth it. Financing a wedding, a ring, etc not something I would do. Peace of mind is too valuable to me and priceless above any pleasure an item/thing/vacation could give me.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Neither is ok, and honestly if I were forced to choose, I'd rather go into debt over a ring, as that is a tangible item whereas a wedding is a fleeting moment.

Ditto. Tangible.. forever.. and sparkly. And MINE! Not $30k (US Average for a wedding) spent on a bunch of extended family and friends to enjoy a nice dinner.

Agreed! And I would NEVER pay $30k for a wedding (or have my parents do so!). You can most definitely do a lot for a TON less, it's just all about using your resources and not going crazy. I am not a fairy princess or Kim Kardashian and my wedding is going to be more about my love for my fiance than it is for showing off. If I need to shell out $30k for a wedding to make sure it's perfect for everyone, then I'm hanging out with the wrong people.

I'm in MD and we're inviting around 240 people and we're doing it for around $5-7k MAX.

 

[stargurl78]

Ditto Haven and madelise about debt on luxury purchases. Our 150 guest wedding did cost $22K which yes, is a lot of money, but we shared the cost with our parents and nobody went into debt over it. It was a beautiful, fun, happy day and I don't regret spending a single cent of that cost.

And I agree about debt being only for necessities, madelise - My current car is paid off and I'm saving for my next car right now because I refuse to take out a loan on it. The only debt I have is my mortgage and we pay more than the principal every month so it should be paid off in 10 years. However, even if a person needs to take out a mortgage for a necessity like a home, it should still be within their means, in my opinion. If we had purchased a home for the amount we were pre-approved for, we would be struggling every month. Couples really need to sit down and have an honest assessment of their finances before making any large purchase, luxury or not.

 

[MissStepcut]

Our wedding for 50 cost $4k, and it went on a credit card. We paid it off in 2 months. When you take away the interest payment from the cash back bonus, we still came out ahead.

 

[JewelFreak]

I didn't mean to imply that nobody should ever spend that much or more on a wedding or a ring. If you have it handy, go for it! A million-buck shindig or (drool) gem -- no objection from me, by any means. Taking out 2nd mortgages, loans, putting a burden on parents who can't easily afford it -- that, imho, is short-sighted & not the most mature thing to do, since Kenny asked. But hey, it's each couple's future, to do with as they please.

--- Laurie

 

[madelise]

I didn't mean to imply that nobody should ever spend that much or more on a wedding or a ring. If you have it handy, go for it! A million-buck shindig or (drool) gem -- no objection from me, by any means. Taking out 2nd mortgages, loans, putting a burden on parents who can't easily afford it -- that, imho, is short-sighted & not the most mature thing to do, since Kenny asked. But hey, it's each couple's future, to do with as they please.

--- Laurie

No, not at all. Heck, you guys all know how much *I'm* spending on my ring, already a very very frivolous thing. But I'm talking about DEBT. Taking out loans. Spending $ you *DON'T* have.

 

[madelise]

If you have 150 people-,30K doesnt go very far in northern nj!

Here in SoCal is about the same. I seriously just want to elope! I'm SOO not for spending $$$$ to impress guests that I really don't give a rat's behind about (extended family/ friends of family/ etc)

 

[MissStepcut]

If you have 150 people-,30K doesnt go very far in northern nj!

Here in SoCal is about the same. I seriously just want to elope! I'm SOO not for spending $$$$ to impress guests that I really don't give a rat's behind about (extended family/ friends of family/ etc)

It really doesn't have to be like this! Our wedding was in Chicago, one of the most expensive wedding cities. We served multi-course brunch in a restaurant with a full bar for 50 and the food & beverage tab was under $3k.

 

[charleston1]

Would not go into debt for either BUT if you held a gun to my head I would rather go into debt for a e=ring. Once the debt is paid off and if the marriage doesn't work out you could sell the ering and get some $ to show for it but the wedding - NADA.

A friend of mine had a huge wedding (500 people), probably spent over $100,000 less then 3 years and they are splitting up, thing is she is afraid to tell her parents . In their culture, 500 people is an average size wedding

 

[diamondseeker2006]

No debt for a wedding...you have a party you can afford. Of course, my parents paid for our wedding (which was small by our choice) and we paid for our first daughter's wedding a year and a half ago (cash).

The ring is different. We got married right after college and there was no money, but we had jobs and were going to be earning money. So my husband borrowed money for the ring from his dad and paid him back that first year. I have no problem with borrowing short term to buy an e-ring because it is something tangible and enjoyed for a lifetime (or 30 years, in my case, until I got a new diamond!).

Our mortgage has been our only debt for years. We pay cash for everything else. But I have no problem with young men here needing to have a short term loan to help them pay for part of a ring because diamonds and settings are crazy expensive now. Interest rates are low and as long as they can afford the payments and can pay it off in less than a year, why not?

 

[HopeDream]

I don't think there's a difference.

My financial comfort zone is that If you can't afford to pay out of pocket, you should save up until you can.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion/credit rating.

 

[gem_anemone]

I am on the other side of the fence. FI and I are the kind of people who incur debt at times, but we do it responsibly. We have done this for both the ering and wedding.

I would have had to wait an extra year to get my ering if we didn't use credit to purchase it, however we put about half down and used 0% interest credit for the remaining balance and FI paid it off before the due date, so it really didn't cost us anything extra to put it on credit. I guess I could have gotten a less expensive ring if we didn't want to make payments!

Same with the wedding. I have been saving for the wedding ever since the engagement, we are paying most of the wedding out of our pocket, but now that it's crunch time I'm finding that we are going over budget on some things and it would be impossible for us to pay it all in cash at this point. We will be putting any overage on credit and possibly transferring it to a 0% interest account (depending on the amount of overage). Regardless, we should have no problem paying the balance by the end of the year.

I'm 32 and I really didn't want to wait any longer to be married. I also didn't want to skimp on my one and only wedding and/or make it stressful for myself to DIY everything or forgo things I wanted, and we ended up over budget. I'm only getting married once. So be it! We are not rich, our parents are not really contributing much, we already own a home, so we aren't saving for that. For us this was the way to go.

 

[rubybeth]

I don't think there's a difference.

My financial comfort zone is that If you can't afford to pay out of pocket, you should save up until you can.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion/credit rating.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[HollyS]

I didn't get into debt with either a wedding or the rings.

If you can't afford it, meaning you have the cash, you shouldn't buy it. The exceptions are a house and a car. PERIOD.

If you buy something with a credit card for expediency, you pay it off when you get the bill.

 

[MAC-W]

we hear it 100's of time on PS...don't get into E-ring debt,but how about getting into wedding debt is that ok?

Neither is good in my opinion, but......................................
if I was going to go into debt over one of them I'd rather go into debt for an e-ring.

At least its something tangible that I can resell later if needs be.

I might not get back what was paid for it but at least I'd get something.


(I may be biased in my opinion)


21 years after my 1st wedding (Cost +$10k in 1991), I really dont remember what most of the hoopla was about, but I still luuuurve the +$3k ring - or rather,I still luuuurve the sapphire that was the centre stone in my e-ring (subseqently reset into a RHR).

2nd wedding was me, hubs and 2 friends on our front lawn - total cost $340. Second ering +$5000. Plat Diamond Wedding band +$20k.

(AsI said.....I may be biased in my opinion)

 

[MAC-W]

I didn't get into debt with either a wedding or the rings.

If you can't afford it, meaning you have the cash, you shouldn't buy it. The exceptions are a house and a car. PERIOD.

If you buy something with a credit card for expediency, you pay it off when you get the bill.

Disagree about the car. Never go into debt for something that is guarenteed to lose value!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

True, diamonds have done FAR better than cars over time!!!

MAC-W...I think I need to go look and see this wedding band you mentioned! I hope it is posted!
(Okay, can't find it so you need to post a thread on Show Me the Bling if you haven't already!)

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I think that PSers tend to be more financially responsible than most. I mean, this is a site for luxury purchases and I'd say the majority of us feel that going into debt for a luxury purchase (diamonds and weddings included) is not a sound financial decision.

We didn't go into debt for my ring or the wedding and our parents did not contribute toward our wedding. I will admit that buying a ring, paying for the wedding/honeymoon and saving for a house made me feel like every dollar had a purpose.

Our only debt is our house and we make extra payments to get it paid off ASAP. But if I'm being honest, I sometimes covet what other people have. I know that sounds awful, but there are times when I want to splurge on a big diamond or a sports car (without going into debt), but the practical side of me can't do it while we have the debt of the house. Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm just saying that I'm practical with money, but sometimes wish I could splurge without guilt!

 

[blacksand]

We are having a wedding for about 150 people in Northern NJ, and yeah, the 30K estimate is about right. You'd be amazed at how much everything costs. Mind, we are getting married off-season, negotiated everything down to rock-bottom prices, and are scrimping on things like flowers, DIYing as much as possible, and shopping around for the lowest prices on everything. We'll still come in somewhere around $26K when all is said and done. It's just expensive to have a wedding in this area. Yes, you can do lunch or brunch instead of dinner, or choose a day that is less popular (and generally less convenient for most guests). For me, it was more important to have the people I love there than to save a few dollars. I have a big family, I love them all, I want them all there. Period. So the guest list in not negotiable. Sharing this milestone with our families is much more important to me than an e-ring, to be honest. I have a lovely ring, but if I had to choose, I'd choose the wedding.

We're paying for most of the wedding ourselves (parents contributed about $5K), and we are paying mostly cash. We had not planned to incur any debt and have been saving for two years. However, my fiance recently lost his job, so we have ended up charging a few things to credit cards just to ensure we have available cash for right now, until he gets back on his feet. It wasn't our plan, but these things happen. We have no intention of changing our wedding plans now that we have already paid all our deposits and notified all of our guests. We would only do that in a dire emergency. When FI finds a new job, we'll pay off the credit cards as soon as possible. I don't like living with debt, but I don't think it's necessarily irresponsible to use credit cards as a temporary measure. As long as you have a plan to pay it off, a reasonable amount of debt is not the worst thing in the world.