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Wedding Is this tacky ?

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blissfulbride

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Alot of women in my office, and friends of the family have just gotten married. I was wondering if it would be tacky to ask if there were any thing they wouldn''t mine lending me. Like a money bag, fake jewelry, great wedding shoes. ECT

I just don''t see the point in spending that money on things I know people have bought and never used again. I even met a really sweet girl here who doesnt offered to lend me her veil. Thanks lori !

I can call it the Melissa bridal accessory fund lol

what do you think and how should i ask? make an evite or a mass email ? lol
 
LOL! I don''t think it''s tacky if you do it right. I wouldn''t send a mass email, but if you know someone had the perfect handbag/pendent or whatnot, and you feel comfortable asking, I say go for it.

That said, some people get really, really sentimental and attached to things.

I''m not one of those people. I''ve loaned some jewelry and offered my veil. My stuffed cat is wearing it at the moment.
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Ditto geckodani.

What on earth is a money bag?! I''m picturing this:

moneybag.jpg
 
Date: 8/15/2008 11:45:48 AM
Author: musey
Ditto geckodani.

What on earth is a money bag?! I''m picturing this:
It''s almost equally tacky. I believe it''s the bag where the bride & groom place the money from the dollar dance?
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I think you can politely talk about the wedding and the things you still need to buy (such as shoes,decor, whatever you think you still need/would want to borrow), etc. If the ladies want to lend things, they will then offer. That is what I would do personally unless they are good friends. I wouldn't go around asking everyone in the office directly...
 
What a good idea! I think a cute e-mail would be a fun way for everyone to have their special things go to a nice cause. I would definitely lend out my veil and etc. I know I''ll never wear it again and plus, I think it''s GOOD LUCK!
 
Have you seen pics of anyone''s stuff? Here is my .02. If I got a mass email saying does anyone have anything to lend, I''m not sure how I would feel about it. Not offended, but I probably would think "oh, someone else will probably offer up her stuff and I don''t want to have mine be picked through like, thanks, but I liked Gina in accounting''s veil better." On the other hand, if someone said to me, "I really loved your veil Maggie and hope you don''t mind my asking to borrow it," I would be happy to lend it.

Of course, everyone feels differently about these things. Good luck and I hope that you have a beautiful wedding:)
 
Date: 8/15/2008 12:05:07 PM
Author: MaggieB
Have you seen pics of anyone''s stuff? Here is my .02. If I got a mass email saying does anyone have anything to lend, I''m not sure how I would feel about it. Not offended, but I probably would think ''oh, someone else will probably offer up her stuff and I don''t want to have mine be picked through like, thanks, but I liked Gina in accounting''s veil better.'' On the other hand, if someone said to me, ''I really loved your veil Maggie and hope you don''t mind my asking to borrow it,'' I would be happy to lend it.


Of course, everyone feels differently about these things. Good luck and I hope that you have a beautiful wedding:)


Ditto, If I got an email I''d probably shy away. If someone I worked with complimented my whatever, asked about it''s provenance and then asked if maybe it could be their "something borrowed" I''d be flattered. Try it, just do it with class!
 
Date: 8/15/2008 11:49:08 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Date: 8/15/2008 11:45:48 AM

Author: musey

Ditto geckodani.


What on earth is a money bag?! I''m picturing this:
It''s almost equally tacky. I believe it''s the bag where the bride & groom place the money from the dollar dance?
20.gif
You really never have anything nice to say to anyone. She didnt ask if it was tacky to do whatever she is doing with the "moneybag" but if it was tacky to ask people to borrow things (which from your statement you think is tacky as well)

It seems as you have low self esteem so you feel the need to go on a public forum to put down everyone to just make yourself feel better..

Also, its rude to put down something like a "dollar dance".. It could be a huge tradition in one of the brides or grooms family and thats why they are doing it.

BUT to answer your questions BB its not tacky as long as its done appropriately like some of the ladies had suggested, maybe just go up to that specfic person and "talk" about their wedding and something you loved and maybe ask where they got it and they might offer to lend it to you? Goodluck! BTW LOVE your dress :-)
 
Date: 8/15/2008 11:57:58 AM
Author: neatfreak
I think you can politely talk about the wedding and the things you still need to buy (such as shoes,decor, whatever you think you still need/would want to borrow), etc. If the ladies want to lend things, they will then offer. That is what I would do personally unless they are good friends. I wouldn't go around asking everyone in the office directly...
I agree with neatfreak...I think I would feel funny going around and asking...

ETA: I also agree that some people would not be OK with lending you things if they're attached to them. It all depends on the person. If someone didn't offer to let me borrow something, though, I don't think I would ask them.
 
Date: 8/15/2008 12:28:01 PM
Author: blondebunny

Date: 8/15/2008 11:49:08 AM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 8/15/2008 11:45:48 AM

Author: musey

Ditto geckodani.


What on earth is a money bag?! I''m picturing this:
It''s almost equally tacky. I believe it''s the bag where the bride & groom place the money from the dollar dance?
20.gif
You really never have anything nice to say to anyone. She didnt ask if it was tacky to do whatever she is doing with the ''moneybag'' but if it was tacky to ask people to borrow things (which from your statement you think is tacky as well)

It seems as you have low self esteem so you feel the need to go on a public forum to put down everyone to just make yourself feel better..

Also, its rude to put down something like a ''dollar dance''.. It could be a huge tradition in one of the brides or grooms family and thats why they are doing it.

BUT to answer your questions BB its not tacky as long as its done appropriately like some of the ladies had suggested, maybe just go up to that specfic person and ''talk'' about their wedding and something you loved and maybe ask where they got it and they might offer to lend it to you? Goodluck! BTW LOVE your dress :-)
I thought the "money bag" was the OPs reference to a little change purse....
 
I wouldn''t think its tacky at all. If I had things and knew someone was getting married, I would offer it all. I agree, don''t send a mass email.

Pear--the money bag is cultural (Mexico comes to mind).
 
Date: 8/15/2008 1:11:54 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone
Date: 8/15/2008 12:28:01 PM
Author: blondebunny
Date: 8/15/2008 11:49:08 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Date: 8/15/2008 11:45:48 AM
Author: musey
Ditto geckodani.

What on earth is a money bag?! I'm picturing this:
It's almost equally tacky. I believe it's the bag where the bride & groom place the money from the dollar dance?
20.gif
You really never have anything nice to say to anyone. She didnt ask if it was tacky to do whatever she is doing with the 'moneybag' but if it was tacky to ask people to borrow things (which from your statement you think is tacky as well)

It seems as you have low self esteem so you feel the need to go on a public forum to put down everyone to just make yourself feel better..
I thought the "money bag" was the OPs reference to a little change purse....
For the record... I honestly didn't know what a moneybag was, I googled it and that was one of the first images that came up, so I thought it was funny.

I'm sorry, I truly meant no offense, and certainly didn't mean to 'start' anything...
 
oh, my goodness, musey, I can't speak for everyone else, but I think it's clear you meant no offense! It was clear you just didn't know what it was...

ETA: I didn't know what it was either...but I laughed when I saw the picture you posted.
 
Date: 8/15/2008 1:27:02 PM
Author: claudinam
oh, my goodness, musey, I can''t speak for everyone else, but I think it''s clear you meant no offense! It was clear you just didn''t know what it was...


ETA: I didn''t know what it was either...but I laughed when I saw the picture you posted.
sorry my post was in reference to pear saying it was tacky to have a money bag or dollar dance not to you :-)
 
Musey,

BB was talking to Purfectpear I am pretty sure. I did the same thing this photo came up...LMAO

moneybag1234.jpg
 
bunny, don''t worry, it was clear that your post was directed at PP, not at musey...
 
For the record Bunny (and it''s easy enough to search) I have plenty of nice things to say about peoples rings, dresses, etc.

Also for the record, I think it''s quite sweet to lend (or borrow) wedding items. "Something borrowed" ring any bells?
20.gif


Your sentiments about me are meaningless to me, but feel free to express them. It''s the internet and I wouldn''t dream of trying to censor your right to jump to unsupported conclusions
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It''s the people who always try to control what someone else should or shouldn''t post that may have the insecurity issues IMO.
 
Just makin' sure!

creepaway3.gif
 
Some background info for those that aren't sure what it is:

A wedding reception tradition honored in many cultures is the Wedding Dollar Dance. This custom was first introduced in the early 20th century and is believed to be Polish in origin. Many couples did not have any type of savings to speak of so family and friends would pin a dollar or any other denomination of their choice to the bride's gown in return for the priviledge to dance with her. The money collected through this tradition was intended to help the bride and groom pay for their honeymoon or to help them start their new life together. Wedding couples by today's standards may have a savings or financial backing to pay for their honeymoon or start their new family. Still, the dollar dance is very popular in many cultures and geographical regions and anticipated by friends and family as a way to congratulate the bride and groom. As each person dances with the Bride, they discretely slip a dollar into the bridal purse, elegantly hanging from the bride’s wrist. Some prefer to have a wedding attendant or flower girl hold the bridal purse or money bag for the bride to solicit a dollar from each guest as they approach the dance floor.

But we digress
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Fiery, at least that is a more subtle version than the one at a wedding I attended. The men "pinned" the money on the bride's dress. At the end of the song she looked like a money tree with makeup
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That sounds very discrete. The only money dance I''ve ever seen was Lebanese, and the bride was literally showered with bills as she danced; someone came through and collected them later. So yeah, I wasn''t sure what the bag was for either.
 
i didn''t have a dollar dance or anything but i did have a "money bag" or as i called it, the card purse. i live in new york, and my husbands entire family is Italian. the bride and groom walk around to say hello to everybody and they give you an envelope, sometimes they come right up to your table and give it to you, what the hell are you supposed to do with it? you put it in the card purse. it''s pretty equivalent to having a gift table.

i''m glad we had one anyway, we walked away with over 60 envelopes...
 
IWPO musey''s picture was funnier hahaha

If it''s a cultural thing, and you are from that culture, it would just be "what you do"...and nobody would think twice about it...that''s what makes it a cultural thing...
 
I would be sure to only ask people that you are close with, and only ask for things specifically from one person...like "oh Jen, I loved your shoes...is possible for me to borrow them...I promise to return them in the same condition they were lent". I wouldn''t send out a mass email saying "Hey, just wanted to root thru your old wedding stuff...anyone up for it?"

Personally, there would be things I''d lend out and things I wouldnt. My gift card box...sure. My shoes...no. My bracelet...yes. My tiara....no. My cake cutter...okay. My Swavorski toasting flutes...no. You get my point.
 
Date: 8/15/2008 2:21:01 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I would be sure to only ask people that you are close with, and only ask for things specifically from one person...like ''oh Jen, I loved your shoes...is possible for me to borrow them...I promise to return them in the same condition they were lent''. I wouldn''t send out a mass email saying ''Hey, just wanted to root thru your old wedding stuff...anyone up for it?''

Personally, there would be things I''d lend out and things I wouldnt. My gift card box...sure. My shoes...no. My bracelet...yes. My tiara....no. My cake cutter...okay. My Swavorski toasting flutes...no. You get my point.
Me too...
 
Date: 8/15/2008 2:15:30 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Fiery, at least that is a more subtle version than the one at a wedding I attended. The men ''pinned'' the money on the bride''s dress. At the end of the song she looked like a money tree with makeup
32.gif
I went to a wedding where it was all stuffed down her chest
38.gif
Granted, she was wasted by this time and the one that started it was her husband who was equally wasted but still. LOL
 
Date: 8/15/2008 2:29:38 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/15/2008 2:15:30 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Fiery, at least that is a more subtle version than the one at a wedding I attended. The men ''pinned'' the money on the bride''s dress. At the end of the song she looked like a money tree with makeup
32.gif
I went to a wedding where it was all stuffed down her chest
38.gif
Granted, she was wasted by this time and the one that started it was her husband who was equally wasted but still. LOL
I just laughed out loud!!!
 
I dont know now im reconsidering. lol

people are sentimental with things. I just wanted some feed back. I guess ill suck it up, and spend. I just wanted to be as trifty as possible. I''m slowing realizing how serious weddings are. lol


spending 40K is no joke and im trying to avoid it !~
 
asscher halo lover- thats the way im going to use a money bag. Thats how we do it in new york.
 
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