Is it rude?

[iota15]

Suggesting is not rude, insisting or requiring is. We tend to have a no-shoes house. The first thing family and close friends do when they walk in the door is take their shoes off, but it would never occur to me to insist someone do that. For all I know they might have foot problems that require an orthotic. They might feel self-conscious about their feet, etc. When someone is a guest in my home, my concern is their comfort, not my "house rules." Carpets can be cleaned, floors can be washed, but a guest's comfort and pleasure in visiting my home is invaluable and irreplaceable.

Good point Aoife, thanks! I didn't even think about foot problems etc.
I agree, it is more important to make guests feel at ease in our home than make my job of cleaning easier. It's just so yukky when I think about what is being brought in...But I absolutely agree about not making it required- rather a subtle suggestion that you are free to follow or not follow.

I totally agree with Aoife as well. Suggesting is not rude at all. But barring a physical condition, I don't understand why any polite guests would not remove their shoes once it's suggested (politely) either.

Some potential reasons:
--Embarrassment over going too long between pedicures?

--Self-conscious over having corns, a fungal condition, or dry heels?

--Wearing delicate pantyhose which will become snagged and run?

Yes, those are reasons. This must be a cultural/area thing - and sometimes things are just different from area to area.

I would assume corns, fungal conditions and unpedicured toes are relatively common even in my area, but maybe where shoes-off is more the norm, it seems that people refrain from commenting or making judgment about other's feet (perhaps out of necessity - for who knows when you may be the offender. hehe.).

Also in my area, I think poo-poo on carpets/floors (where others guests as well as the hosts are baring their socks or bare feet) trumps any potential embarassment, although again, I understand this is a cultural/area thing. Plus, given the cultural norm around here, women would generally refrain from wearing too delicate pantyhoses or accept any possible snagging - given that most, if not all houses around here are shoes-off.

 

[kenny]

Is it rude?
There is no universal answer.
Some will say yes, some no.
It varies by country and by individuals in those countries.
It varies by carpet color, and whether it's snowing/raining outside.
It varies by event -formal elegant coat and tie dinner or Superbowl beer and pretzel party.

It is your call.

 

[soocool]

if my foot smells really bad ..will you ask me to put my shoes back on?..

If your feet smell bad, so do your shoes and do you really think the smell will be contained in there? DH, why don't you stay home and soak your feet and put some odor eaters in those shoes!

 

[Missy]

Is it rude?
There is no universal answer.
Some will say yes, some no.
It varies by country and by individuals in those countries.
It varies by carpet color, and whether it's snowing/raining outside.
It varies by event -formal elegant coat and tie dinner or Superbowl beer and pretzel party.

It is your call.

Thanks for your input Kenny.
Life would be so much simpler (though much more boring) if more issues were black and white.

I guess if I was having a formal dinner party I would be much less likely to ask guests to remove their shoes but since we have all our formal occasions at other venues I wasn't thinking along those lines. Point well taken about the weather. I would have much less concern about asking people to remove their shoes if the weather was inclement as that is more the norm I think. At least in our social circles.

My main concern is basically is it rude of me to ask guests to remove their shoes upon entering our home. And I have the answer as per the collective wisdom of Pricescopers. Simply put, it can be perceived as rude to require people to remove their shoes but it is certainly OK to gently suggest it by doing so yourself and perhaps they will follow lead. And if not, well, then I will accept that gracefully and enjoy the company nevertheless.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Some potential reasons:
--Embarrassment over going too long between pedicures?

--Self-conscious over having corns, a fungal condition, or dry heels?

--Wearing delicate pantyhose which will become snagged and run?

Yes, I thought about those potential issues and I was trying to avoid that by letting people know beforehand about my preference for removing their shoes when they visit.

However, now, I do not see a way to do this and still be subtle and easygoing about my preference as this would require I let them know of my preference before they visit and makes it seem less of a request and more of a demand. See my catch 22 here? I guess it is preferable to not say anything until they arrive and just have an area for shoes to be removed if they want to and disposable slippers to put on if they would like or for them not remove their shoes if that is best for them.

Yes, the catch-22 is obvious. FWIW, (1) it'll only be an issue for the first time people come over, for afterward folks will know that yours is a shoe-free house, and (2) depending on the situation/relationship/gathering-type, you can convey the information to the bulk of your guests in advance. I think your answer is dependent on the invite list:

--If your guest list consists only of your close friends because it's a smaller gathering, just email your friends a "BTW, we've instituted a shoe-free zone, so bring hole-free socks!"

--If it's a moderately-sized party involving Evite, just put a quick note on the invite. This is most common among my shoe-free household friends. Supplement by having immaculate slippers available for the errant unobservant.

--If it's a large party involving people outside your immediate social circle (involving business connections or hosting of a fundraiser), well... I personally would just schedule a carpet-cleaning to avoid the issue. The sad truth is that at large cocktail-style parties with several distant-connection acquaintances in your home, weak-willed people from a background where shoes are not removed gossip about it when the host is out of earshot. I've repeatedly seen this firsthand and it makes me not like those who do it (Culturally insensitive, judgmental, unappreciative of the hosts' generosity, AND a gossip? Wow, pleased to meet ya, let's be close friends!), but the truth is it does happen.

So I think it's possible to do it, M, but it'd probably be wise to consider it situation-dependent.

 

[Missy]

I do agree with all you have said fleur-de-lis. It makes good sense and I appreciate your advice. Situation dependent it will be. In fact, given the answers here I am feeling rather less strongly about instituting the no shoe policy at all just because I truly do not want to offend anyone. Certainly for any cocktail parties and more formal occasions I would not ask people to remove their shoes because the last thing people want when they get dressed up is to remove a big fashion accessory. I know I love my shoes/boots and they do make a statement when I have fancier events to attend.

I was thinking more along the lines of more casual parties and gatherings with friends and family. We usually host a number of events especially when the weather gets nicer. We are just moving to a new home (hopefully by end of March) and hope to be doing more entertaining so I wanted to set a precedent for the new home. But I will take it one day at a time and see what happens.

Thanks for the help!

 

[elrohwen]

I don't think it's a big deal and I don't think it's rude. Like some others said, just point out where the coats go, where the shoes go, and then bring your guests in.

Though I think it does kind of matter how close you are to them. When we have parties we invite people we've been friends with for years - I wouldn't feel awkward for a minute asking them to take their shoes off if that's what I wanted (and most would be conscientious enough to take their shoes off if it was wet or dirty outside). However, if I had a party for people I didn't know so well, maybe neighbors, I would feel more awkward about making the request for some reason.

 

[kama_s]

I honestly have no answer for you, because I've never faced this problem. Like Chemgirl said, it's definitely cultural (we live in the same general area). Here there is no question about shoes not being taken off. I think it might partially have to do with our climate since we have snow/rain more months than not.

I can't understand why people won't take their shoes off. I often walk barefoot at home, so essentially it's going to be outside dirt/germs->my house floors->my feet->my couch/bed. Uggghhh.

 

[Missy]

I don't think it's a big deal and I don't think it's rude. Like some others said, just point out where the coats go, where the shoes go, and then bring your guests in.

Though I think it does kind of matter how close you are to them. When we have parties we invite people we've been friends with for years - I wouldn't feel awkward for a minute asking them to take their shoes off if that's what I wanted (and most would be conscientious enough to take their shoes off if it was wet or dirty outside). However, if I had a party for people I didn't know so well, maybe neighbors, I would feel more awkward about making the request for some reason.

That makes sense. With people you are close with they are like family and we can be totally ourselves (hopefully) with most family and close friends. But with less close friends we are still on more formal/polite/best behavior if that makes any sense. And until we know them better we are less willing to make requests that we don't know how they will respond to.

In fact, you bring up a good point because since we are moving to a new neighborhood I thought it would be lovely to have the new neighbors in for an informal get together and barbecue outside. Of course they will come through the house and probably go in and out as most gatherings where you have inside and outside space and the weather is nice. For these guests I will not request or even subtly hint at removing their shoes. I have no desire to get off on the wrong foot (so to speak LOL) with our new neighbors You never know how people will react. Better safe than sorry but looks like I will be doing lots of thorough cleaning of the floors... sigh.

 

[Missy]

I honestly have no answer for you, because I've never faced this problem. Like Chemgirl said, it's definitely cultural (we live in the same general area). Here there is no question about shoes not being taken off. I think it might partially have to do with our climate since we have snow/rain more months than not.

I can't understand why people won't take their shoes off. I often walk barefoot at home, so essentially it's going to be outside dirt/germs->my house floors->my feet->my couch/bed. Uggghhh.

I also love walking barefoot Kama but don't do that anymore since as of now we do not ask guests to remove their shoes. My dh and I do as soon as we come in but we are the only ones. Honestly I do not think it is a huge inconvenience to ask people to remove their shoes but because it is more of a cultural issue some people who are not used to doing so might take offense. Though I really cannot understand the big deal at all. However, just because my feeling is that it is not a big deal I know I should not impose my feelings on others (as my husband likes to point out ) It is a real pain in the butt for sure but I guess I cannot control how others feel. As much as I would like to at times.

 

[iugurl]

It's not per se rude to request shoes be removed, but it would be gracious as a host to offer immaculately clean slippers for those who came unprepared for the request. One of my friends who keeps her home as a shoe-free zone keeps an ample supply of inexpensive white washable/bleachable waffle slippers paired up in a basket.

Just to mention an alternative, in our house we don't ask guests to remove their shoes but simply schedule the carpets to be steam cleaned after parties.

You steam clean your carpets every time people come over? How often to you have people over? That is simply not an option for those who have friends over weekly. Or at least for me, who does not want to pay someone to come clean my carpets once a week.

 

[Autumnovember]

My parents have always asked people to take their shoes off and nobody has ever had a problem with it. Their friends do the same when they have company over as well as all my aunts/uncles/sister/grandmother. Maybe its a Russian thing? For us, it's normal. Whenever I go to my best friends place, he asks all of his friends to take their shoes off too and we do without any issue. He has carpets so I can definitely understand why he asks us to take them off. My parents on the other hand, have wooden floors but both my mom and dad have bad backs and its tough for them to constantly be cleaning the floors. My mom HAS to have clean floors. They always have the same people over so they already know the deal. For any new people that come over, she has slippers ready for them.

 

[Missy]

My parents have always asked people to take their shoes off and nobody has ever had a problem with it. Their friends do the same when they have company over as well as all my aunts/uncles/sister/grandmother. Maybe its a Russian thing? For us, it's normal. Whenever I go to my best friends place, he asks all of his friends to take their shoes off too and we do without any issue. He has carpets so I can definitely understand why he asks us to take them off. My parents on the other hand, have wooden floors but both my mom and dad have bad backs and its tough for them to constantly be cleaning the floors. My mom HAS to have clean floors. They always have the same people over so they already know the deal. For any new people that come over, she has slippers ready for them.

It's so interesting how different our social circles are. Or maybe it's a regional thing. Not one of our friends or family members have anyone take their shoes off in the house. I wish it was the norm with our friends/family because it would then be a non issue and life has enough issues so I wouldn't miss having this one.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

It's not per se rude to request shoes be removed, but it would be gracious as a host to offer immaculately clean slippers for those who came unprepared for the request. One of my friends who keeps her home as a shoe-free zone keeps an ample supply of inexpensive white washable/bleachable waffle slippers paired up in a basket.

Just to mention an alternative, in our house we don't ask guests to remove their shoes but simply schedule the carpets to be steam cleaned after parties.

You steam clean your carpets every time people come over? How often to you have people over? That is simply not an option for those who have friends over weekly. Or at least for me, who does not want to pay someone to come clean my carpets once a week.

We entertain frequently, and yes, our carpets get steam cleaned quite a bit. It's not something that's done if a neighbor pops by or if a few friends come over for a small dinner get-together, but we'll schedule a deep-cleaning following a big(ger) party.

Forget about the shoe issue, it seems someone always spills a drink at those things!

 

[Aoife]

Missy, it sounds as though you've come up with a plan that would work for you. Good luck, and I hope transitioning to a -mostly- shoeless home goes smoothly for you!

 

[fleur-de-lis]

My parents have always asked people to take their shoes off and nobody has ever had a problem with it. Their friends do the same when they have company over as well as all my aunts/uncles/sister/grandmother. Maybe its a Russian thing? For us, it's normal. Whenever I go to my best friends place, he asks all of his friends to take their shoes off too and we do without any issue. He has carpets so I can definitely understand why he asks us to take them off. My parents on the other hand, have wooden floors but both my mom and dad have bad backs and its tough for them to constantly be cleaning the floors. My mom HAS to have clean floors. They always have the same people over so they already know the deal. For any new people that come over, she has slippers ready for them.

It's so interesting how different our social circles are. Or maybe it's a regional thing. Not one of our friends or family members have anyone take their shoes off in the house. I wish it was the norm with our friends/family because it would then be a non issue and life has enough issues so I wouldn't miss having this one.

I know, right? The city in which I grew up was an upscale one with a significant transnational population, so "shoes okay/no shoes allowed" split was about 70/30, thus it's been ingrained in me to plan for either option. But that appears to be the exception, not the norm. Where I live now is probably 95/5.

 

[Cehrabehra]

We never really followed it prior to moving to china but we will from now on - it's just a good plan in so many ways. We have a bunch of cheap ikea slippers that we offer, but I've known people to have a big basket of funky socks to choose from - and by funky I mean a wide variety of colors and styles to choose from, not gross. Those are easily washable so I'd go that route if you want them to be single serving so to speak.

 

[AnneinGA]

Missy,

I don't think that asking your guests to remove their shoes when they come into your home is any ruder than asking them to not smoke in your house. It's YOUR house. If I were you, I would do the shoe basket, or a little shoe bin, and put a little sign up that's cute and painted that says "Shoes go here" or "Rest your tootsies and let your shoes take a nap" or something cute, and as someone else suggested say "welcome to our house; dinner is almost ready, just put your shoes in the bin and come on in!".

Your house. Your rules. Enforcing them would be no different than if you had a non-smoking house and someone lit up on the couch. "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but would you please go outside to smoke"? "Excuse me, we request that all our guests put their shoes in the bin; if you'd like a clean pair of socks, there are some in the basket. We really relax around here!"

 

[Missy]

Hi Sara and Anne. Thanks for your feedback. I love the idea of thick funky socks- fun!
Anne- I see how you could make an analogy to smoking and we don't allow anyone to smoke in our home. They do go outside but the problem is that is more the accepted norm for not smoking inside and not so much for removing shoes but I do like the way you suggest I approach the issue with what to say. It is much more inviting that way for sure.

Thanks for the encouragement Aoife. I was feeling pretty good about the compromise solution. Now though there is another issue my dh (leave it to him LOL) just brought up. For some reason (I did think about this problem initially but) I promptly blocked it from my mind. My subconscious works in mysterious ways. Since you guys have been so helpful regarding this topic maybe you can figure out a way around this twist.

Our outdoor space is at the opposite end of the house from the entrance. Meaning the front door is at one end of the house and the backyard sliding glass doors are at the other end. So if people come over and we are going to spend time outdoors (if the weather is nice) how do we work that? If I have the shoe basket at the front entrance (where there is actually a perfect space for that) how do we manage the backyard when we go out? It wouldn't make sense to have them come in through the backyard because it doesn't feel very inviting to ask people to come that way. I give up. It seems this house was not built to be shoeless friendly! I guess the best I could do is in inclement weather guests can remove their shoes since we won't be hanging outside by the bay but in nice weather I just suck it up and plan on giving the house a good cleaning after. It's a pain but it's the best I can come up with.

 

[iugurl]

Missy,

I don't think that asking your guests to remove their shoes when they come into your home is any ruder than asking them to not smoke in your house. It's YOUR house.

I agree! Second hand smoke may be more dangerous. However, there can be some nasty, dangerous things lurking on peoples shoes. Have you gone to the doctors office, hospital, walked on grass (feces, parasites), parking lots etc. in those shoes?

 

[Missy]

Missy,

I don't think that asking your guests to remove their shoes when they come into your home is any ruder than asking them to not smoke in your house. It's YOUR house.

I agree! Second hand smoke may be more dangerous. However, there can be some nasty, dangerous things lurking on peoples shoes. Have you gone to the doctors office, hospital, walked on grass (feces, parasites), parking lots etc. in those shoes?

You both make an excellent point. The problem is in convincing others about the health reasons for doing so and our group of friends tend to be- how shall I put it-very definite in their opinions and since none of them remove their shoes in their own home I have a feeling they either are not convinced of the merits of removing ones shoes or they simply do not care.

Now I do agree with you ladies in that it is our home and we should be well within our rights to make a polite and laid back suggestion to remove ones shoes. And I will certainly be employing the many helpful suggestions posted here today. It may be a smashing success and perhaps others will start doing it in their homes. And if not, well, at least I tried and it is not the end of the world. I already discussed this with my dh and he agreed to share in the cleanup of the floors as often as I wanted. So we shall see how it goes. Thanks again!

And I am totally with you re second hand smoke. Just as dangerous perhaps as first hand smoke and I hate it when others smoke around me! I am so glad that New York and New Jersey have been cracking down on outdoor smokers. No smoking allowed in parks/beaches! So happy about that. My husband thinks it infringes on people's rights and freedoms and I say, let people do what they want as long as it doesn't affect me negatively in any way and we all know that smoking around others produces a very negative effect and health risk I am not willing to take!

 

[labellavita81]

Where I live (Toronto) or at least going based on everyone I have ever known or met, no one would ever dream to enter someones home and not take off their shoes - it just doesn't happen - its automatic. I have never had to ask a single person to take their shoes off and I always take mine off when entering someone else's home. Here, it would be rude to NOT take your shoes off.

To answer your question - no its not rude to ask someone to take their shoes off when coming into your home - its your house and therefore you make the rules!

 

[Haven]

It's not per se rude to request shoes be removed, but it would be gracious as a host to offer immaculately clean slippers for those who came unprepared for the request. One of my friends who keeps her home as a shoe-free zone keeps an ample supply of inexpensive white washable/bleachable waffle slippers paired up in a basket.

Just to mention an alternative, in our house we don't ask guests to remove their shoes but simply schedule the carpets to be steam cleaned after parties.

You steam clean your carpets every time people come over? How often to you have people over? That is simply not an option for those who have friends over weekly. Or at least for me, who does not want to pay someone to come clean my carpets once a week.

We entertain frequently, and yes, our carpets get steam cleaned quite a bit. It's not something that's done if a neighbor pops by or if a few friends come over for a small dinner get-together, but we'll schedule a deep-cleaning following a big(ger) party.

Forget about the shoe issue, it seems someone always spills a drink at those things!

We clean our carpet after every larger party we have. We have one of those at-home carpet cleaners, it does a great job and it's easy to use. We only have carpet in our family room, though, as well as several floor rugs, so it's not a huge amount to clean. (I highly recommend one for anyone who does a lot of entertaining!) We clean our wood floors after every party, too.

I don't think it's rude to ask people to remove their shoes as long as you are sensitive to people who hesitate at that request. There are so many reasons people might not want to walk around barefoot in another person's home, and I'd hope anyone hosting a party would want their guests to be comfortable in their home.

That being said, I think it's terribly inappropriate to ask people to remove their shoes at a dressy event.

 

[AnneinGA]

MIssy, the reluctance to tell them why I agree with, which is why I didn't put the reason in the request. If you tell them what nasty stuff could be on their shoes, you run the risk of offending someone, and/or getting the comeback "Where do you think I walk?" or "what kind of places do you think I go". Just telling them that it's "house rules" and you appreciate their cooperation doesn't open the floor for debate or discussion. If you have someoner who is so rude that they won't abide by the wishes of the hostess, then you have another matter, and it wouldn't matter how reasonable your argument.

 

[iota15]

Thanks for the encouragement Aoife. I was feeling pretty good about the compromise solution. Now though there is another issue my dh (leave it to him LOL) just brought up. For some reason (I did think about this problem initially but) I promptly blocked it from my mind. My subconscious works in mysterious ways. Since you guys have been so helpful regarding this topic maybe you can figure out a way around this twist.

Our outdoor space is at the opposite end of the house from the entrance. Meaning the front door is at one end of the house and the backyard sliding glass doors are at the other end. So if people come over and we are going to spend time outdoors (if the weather is nice) how do we work that? If I have the shoe basket at the front entrance (where there is actually a perfect space for that) how do we manage the backyard when we go out? It wouldn't make sense to have them come in through the backyard because it doesn't feel very inviting to ask people to come that way. I give up. It seems this house was not built to be shoeless friendly! I guess the best I could do is in inclement weather guests can remove their shoes since we won't be hanging outside by the bay but in nice weather I just suck it up and plan on giving the house a good cleaning after. It's a pain but it's the best I can come up with.

For your hubby's new concern, wintertime seems like the perfect time to instill your no-shoe policy with your frequent guests/friends/relatives. Once they get used to it, they'll know your house is a no-shoe house.

When the weather gets nice, your "regulars" should just naturally take off their shoes in the front. Hang out in the house for a bit, and if you want to retire to the backyard, whoever's going there just picks up their shoes from the front and brings it to the back door. This happens at all the backyard BBQ's I go to - even when the objective is to head straight for the back door immediately after crossing the front one.

If you feel so inclined, you could offer to bring their shoes to the back. Or, as will happen at some BBQ's, you let a few trespasers go with their shoes on. Or, you have outdoor slippers waiting for them at the back door. Whatever works for you.

 

[portia]

I also wonder if it's a cultural and regional thing. I live in the midwest and we don't always remove our shoes at the door. Both DH and I grew up like that. I really can't remember any time in the past 10 years that anyone has asked us to remove our shoes when we're visiting. Maybe it's also a flooring issue. Most everyone we know has hardwood floors which are much easier to clean.

I guess I don't mind if asked since every guest would do the same and I wouldn't want to be disrespectful to the host/hostess, but usually my shoes are part of my outfit. I frequently wear very long denim and high heels so I would have to roll up my pants or I'd trip over them. I'd probably learn very quickly not to wear long denim to no-shoes homes. haha

Question for those that have a no-shoes home... Do you have cats or dogs? I'm just wondering because I would imagine there is more disgusting stuff on their paws than on people's shoes. We have two cats so I speak from experience on that issue. Bleh!

 

[iugurl]

No I don't have pets.

I have another experience to share. My boss recently remodeled her house. The budget was extremely tight, so they opted for laminate flooring (perhaps on the cheaper end I don't know). The person laying the floor told them not to wear high heels (or at least thin, pointy heels) on the floor, as it can leave small dents. She had a housewarming party a few weeks later. Her close, self-absorbed friend arrived in stilettos and jeans. My boss asked her to remove her shoes, not for cleanliness but because of the warning she had been given. This friend refused. My boss was slightly surprised, but what could she do? After everyone had left, my boss saw the disaster the heels had caused. There are now small dents ALL OVER THE FLOOR. You can see every step she took. I guess all the weight on the tiny little support just was too much pressure for the laminate flooring.

I don't think her friends vanity was worth the thousands of dollars it would take to replace the flooring. I would be so angry

 

[Hera]

No I don't have pets.

I have another experience to share. My boss recently remodeled her house. The budget was extremely tight, so they opted for laminate flooring (perhaps on the cheaper end I don't know). The person laying the floor told them not to wear high heels (or at least thin, pointy heels) on the floor, as it can leave small dents. She had a housewarming party a few weeks later. Her close, self-absorbed friend arrived in stilettos and jeans. My boss asked her to remove her shoes, not for cleanliness but because of the warning she had been given. This friend refused. My boss was slightly surprised, but what could she do? After everyone had left, my boss saw the disaster the heels had caused. There are now small dents ALL OVER THE FLOOR. You can see every step she took. I guess all the weight on the tiny little support just was too much pressure for the laminate flooring.

I don't think her friends vanity was worth the thousands of dollars it would take to replace the flooring. I would be so angry

That's terribly unusual as laminate is dent and scratch resistant. The fact that it happened in one evening suggests a problem with the laminate product itself. My own laminate has some light scratches from my dog but I don't have dents in the flooring and it's pretty old. I actually consider this more a problem then with either the product or the fact that your boss chose incorrect flooring for their lifestyle because I don't think it's reasonable to not have heels in a house. I don't know who would want to live like that nor should a person with those type of limitations have any sort of parties or gatherings.

 

[chemgirl]

Where I live (Toronto) or at least going based on everyone I have ever known or met, no one would ever dream to enter someones home and not take off their shoes - it just doesn't happen - its automatic. I have never had to ask a single person to take their shoes off and I always take mine off when entering someone else's home. Here, it would be rude to NOT take your shoes off.

To answer your question - no its not rude to ask someone to take their shoes off when coming into your home - its your house and therefore you make the rules!

I'm from the same area and I find this thread really surprising. What if somebody stepped in dog poop and didn't notice? Don't heels scratch and dent wood flooring? Do people in colder climates get salt stains on their floors when people wear shoes inside? My wood flooring shows water stains, wouldn't this be an issue if people had wet shoes? For these reasons, I think its perfectly reasonable to ask people to take off their shoes when they come inside. You're the one who has to clean up. They're your friends so you'd think they'd want to make it as easy as possible. I don't see anyone getting offended by being asked to remove their shoes.

I remember growing up wondering why people on TV wore shoes inside. I was also really confused when I saw the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie has to take her shoes off at a party and its a big deal (well they did get stolen, but that's besides the point). Its just so not done here.

ETA: More culture anecdote: we are looking at houses and model homes. I've been to at least 30 in the past week and we are always expected to remove our shoes. Its actually a problem at open houses because it causes a traffic jam by the door.

 

[Missy]

I saw the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie has to take her shoes off at a party and its a big deal (well they did get stolen, but that's besides the point). Its just so not done here.

LOL, Chemgirl, I saw that episode and felt furious for poor Carrie who lost her ultra expensive designer shoes and her friend was reluctant to buy her another pair. That was aggravating.

we are looking at houses and model homes. I've been to at least 30 in the past week and we are always expected to remove our shoes. Its actually a problem at open houses because it causes a traffic jam by the door.

We were home shopping through the end of the summer beginning of autumn and I could not believe that no one asked us to remove our shoes. I often did anyway. We were also showing our beach home and I remember one day was stormy and I called our RE broker and asked her to have people remove their shoes and she didn't seem thrilled at the request but complied. I just don't get it. Why such a big deal!! It should be second nature just because it is so much cleaner and healthier for the people living there.

Iugurl, how awful for your boss! I think if her friend knew of the damage her heels would cause she would have removed her shoes. Luckily it was her friend and not her employee of she might be a former employee.

Question for those that have a no-shoes home... Do you have cats or dogs? I'm just wondering because I would imagine there is more disgusting stuff on their paws than on people's shoes. We have two cats so I speak from experience on that issue. Bleh!

Hi Portia- We have cats but they are indoor cats and actually this is another reason for the reason I want shoes removed. The cats will track any dirt/germs all over the house before we get to clean the floors. This just adds another level of complexity to my request.

Thanks Iota! That is a good suggestion. It doesn't sound so difficult to implement.

Hey Anne, you are quite right and I appreciate your support. Makes me feel that I am not being unreasonable (though my husband feels otherwise regarding the shoes issue and guests).

Hereanderson, I don't know anything about laminate flooring but I agree with you. Sounds like something was defective with those floors to begin with but since the installer warned the homeowner I wonder. Makes me think they made the wrong decision to install floors that they were told would dent!

Thanks labellavita81 for your input. Much appreciated.

Haven, I agree with you in that during more formal affairs I would *not* ask anyone to remove their shoes. It can be a vital part of the outfit. Believe me, I love my shoes and boots and enjoy wearing them!
However, we rarely throw formal parties in our home and save those for different venues so not sure this would be an issue for us anyway.