Is it appropriate for 10-15 years old to send out XMas "wishlist"?

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 12/16/2009 12:30:12 AM
Author: zhuzhu
Actually, one kid sent me two emails... The second one reads ''Sorry I forgot to add one thing.
Attached is the updated copy!''.....

zhu...can i send you my "WISHLIST" ??

 

[zhuzhu]

No DF.

I will be too afraid to read your list....

 

[Kaleigh]

I haven''t read the latest, but have you talked to the parents?? I''d love to know what they have to say.

I think it''s all in the delivery.... If I got a cute email from my neice saying Aunty Lisa, I would love to have such and such for Christmas, it would be fine. She knows I have no clue what to buy a 13 year old...

But if it was sent...

Here is my list....

That takes on a whole other demension. Like a demand almost??

In our family we call the parents to see what is needed, what the current interests are. We don''t live near by, and don''t get that much time together so a phone call IS needed on my end.. I just want them to be happy, so do my best to ask what they would want.

 

[allycat0303]

I don''t know. I guess it depends on the family. I think if the parents know you will be buying something for their children, and you will be wading through the mall looking for stuff, maybe they want you to save time.

My husband''s neice is 13 (she''s the only child in the family) sent us a list. Personally, I''m thrilled to have to do as little thinking as possible and buy what is on her list, but I''m really lazy about this stuff. I don''t necessarily think it speaks of entitlement either. I mean the neice is a really good kid. I think it''s better to get her something she really wants, as I have no clue.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 12/16/2009 10:57:12 AM
Author: meresal
Kids learn respect and accountability from their parents.

These parents don''t require that they send Thank you notes or even say Thank you, so what makes you all think that the kids know any better?

I just think that many of you all are being unreasonably harsh towards the children. It is obvious that these kids were given the email distribution list by their parents. Why aren''t the parents the ones to be mad at?

I have a nephew that is the most innapropriate child I have ever met, and it is because of his parents. He is not disclipined, for whatever reason... but when you take the time to shop for him, and when he opens a gift and says, ''I could have picked out something better'', I get mad at him, yes. But, if his parents don''t lean over and yank him into the next room, how is he supposed to know that response is wrong?

And FYI, his parents, my sister and BIL, don''t send thank you notes or call either. Most of the time we don''t even know if they got our box in the mail, unless we specifically ask when we talk.

A big ditto to Mere. If it''s inappropriate in any way, it''s the parents'' fault - they probably asked the kids to send it! And how are kids supposed to know to send thank you cards if no one has ever made them do it before? 15 or not, I wouldn''t send cards if my parents'' hadn''t instilled that they were necessary. 15 year olds don''t just figure that out on their own. And if the parents said "Send a wishlist to all of your relatives. Here''s the email list" is the 15 year old supposed to say "No, mom, I think that''s rude and against common etiquette"? I doubt it.

And fwiw, my family always sends out lists like H_H and tlh. I''d much rather get someone what they want instead of wandering the mall trying to to figure out what they might enjoy and getting them something they''ll never use (or return). And I feel so much worse about taking stuff back than I do about sending a list in the first place.

 

[setell]

We do wish lists in my family. Been doing it for years. When we were kids (before email was big) we wrote it in a piece of paper and it went on the fridge. I don’t see anything wrong with it now as I send out my lists sometimes without my siblings requesting them or them sending me their lists without me requesting it. It might be rude and offensive if this isn’t something you normally do though. I guess in my family our mentality is to buy what the receiver wants vs what the gift giver wants to give. I don’t have nieces and nephews yet but I don’t see how I wouldn’t buy them gifts either and do the same thing with a list of items at a maximum price. We’re very big in the gift giving and if you’re low on cash a homemade card is just as good! It’s the thoughts that count! When we do wish lists we normally got a max price point per item! So you can’t go and put down outrageous items that the gift giver can’t afford! I should also mention that I’m not Christian. We just adopted what we liked of Christmas and kept it. We do the gift exchange because it’s another excuse to get gifts from family (another opportunity to get spoiled by family members besides birthdays), we have the big Christmas feast as my parents love eating (we’re Chinese so every holiday is a huge feast for us!), and we do the decorating (trees, house etc.) because it’s pretty! Yup, that is why we celebrate Christmas. It’s probably not the best reasons to celebrate Christmas and probably why we’re not offended with a wish list either!