Wedding invite question/problem

[jcarlylew]

my boyf's good friend from HS is getting married this weekend (hooray!). They keep in touch but they are not super best friends, or anything. So last month E (my boyf) went to T's bacholor party, all the while never receiving an invitation to the wedding. Not a huge deal to him (kinda to me, but not my battle). So about a week or two ago, T calls up (or text's, cant remember) E saying that we're invited to the wedding, he just didnt know where to send the invite too (i guess i assumed that E's parents would have been back up, or say...to CALL months ago to ask?).
Jump forward to this week. I have asked E a couple times to call T and ask about wedding details. All we know is the date and the venue. T hasn't returned the call.

Is it me, or does it seem like E wasn't really invited to the wedding until last minute, and now something else is going on?

I in no way am holding a grudge against the couple (I'm not good friends with either of the two to begin with), but i just think its a bit odd. If it was a mistake to invite us i would just rather know that be left in the dark. Moreso, i feel bad for E, because it seems he's getting the run around, after making attemps and being there for T.

I just need to know if i should return a dress or not

ETA - what do you think/ have advice?

 

[CJ2008]

They''re getting married this weekend, as in, either tomorrow or Sunday?

I think it''s definitely odd...I don''t know what I would do...especially because T isn''t returning the calls. Would you feel comfortable calling the bride?

What does E think?

 

[jcarlylew]

E is pretty oblivious and doesnt think as (horrible) as I do. I would not feel confortable calling the bride - I dont know her very well, nor do i have numbers. E might call the best man to find out.

It is this sunday. I guess we could always go golfing at the venue until we see the wedding

 

[CJ2008]

Yeah, honestly I wouldn''t feel comfortable calling the bride either...except that on the one hand it doesn''t seem like a mistake if T actually picked up the phone to tell E that he/you are invited but that he needed the address for the invites...

I think if I had to choose what to do, I wouldn''t go to the wedding though. I would err on the side of being cautious - I would just feel really funny showing up unless I heard from T before Sunday.

 

[jcarlylew]

E talked to the best man so we have the time now but it still seems weird. then again, i know T & his wife to be are probably very busy this week!

 

[zoebartlett]

So this was a last minute, very casual, verbal invitation made by T, right? He could have asked for your address when he talked to E and the invitation could still have been mailed out. Also, wouldn''t they (and the caterer/venue) need to know how many guests to expect in order to do a seating chart, etc.? Which brings me to my next question -- do you know what the menu options are? Sorry for asking so many at once -- these were the things that ran through my mind as I was reading your post.

If it were me, I wouldn''t attend. It just sounds like a half-hearted attempt to invite you and E (to me). It''s as if the comment was made in passing and not really heartfelt. I kow that you''re not close with this couple, but I''m sorry that the invitation was made this way.

 

[jcarlylew]

Zoe,
I''m glad i am not the only one who feels this way too. I wonder if E was only invited becuase he participated in the bacholor party? Regarding the invite - none was sent afterwards, but then again i wouldnt be shocked if E said that we didn''t need one... boys

Your questions are spot on - we don''t know ANY of that information. The wedding is at a Golf course so it could be buffet, but i agree. Its just WEIRD to me. honestly, i wasnt offended that we were not invited, but not i am (im a dork).

 

[CJ2008]

Date: 8/15/2008 7:43:55 PM
Author: jcarlylew
E talked to the best man so we have the time now but it still seems weird. then again, i know T & his wife to be are probably very busy this week!

OK...but what are you going to do, call around to everyone else so you get all the details? The ONLY person I would feel OK to get info. from enough to go would be the groom or bride...

I guess the "thing" is to convince E that it is awkward you guys have NO info., and that T isn't returning any of the calls, and that it won't feel good to just show up...but I don't know how you'll do that...

Have you considered telling him that you refuse to go? That it makes no sense that you guys didn't get an invite because "you don't need one" when everyone else got one?

I don't envy the position you're are in...

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 8/15/2008 8:52:33 PM
Author: claudinam

Date: 8/15/2008 7:43:55 PM
Author: jcarlylew
E talked to the best man so we have the time now but it still seems weird. then again, i know T & his wife to be are probably very busy this week!

OK...but what are you going to do, call around to everyone else so you get all the details? The ONLY person I would feel OK to get info. from enough to go would be the groom or bride...

I guess the ''thing'' is to convince E that it is awkward you guys have NO info., and that T isn''t returning any of the calls, and that it won''t feel good to just show up...but I don''t know how you''ll do that...

Have you considered telling him that you refuse to go? That it makes no sense that you guys didn''t get an invite because ''you don''t need one'' when everyone else got one?

I don''t envy the position you''re are in...

E is soooo under the "this is not how to do things" its not even funny. He has no idea that this isnt common. Hopefully E got all the details from the best man (who he is also friends with) - i didnt get much of a chance tot alk to him. I am not going to refuse to go, but it will be awkward. I just don''t want to cause problems between E & T right now (or ever). Honestly, T isnt the most socially couth person there is either

I''m sure everything will turn out fine. At least i know a few things
1) i have awesome hair and a new dress

2) we can look back and laugh becuase we will be "that couple" that no one knows why they showed up (er... that sounds bad. oh well!)
3) did i mention i will have awesome hair?
4) this wedding will be on E''s mind for our future engagement (fingers crossed).


ps - watch, when we go to E parent''s today, there will be an invite lol!

 

[CJ2008]

Date: 8/16/2008 2:44:32 PM
Author: jcarlylew

Date: 8/15/2008 8:52:33 PM
Author: claudinam

Date: 8/15/2008 7:43:55 PM
Author: jcarlylew
E talked to the best man so we have the time now but it still seems weird. then again, i know T & his wife to be are probably very busy this week!

OK...but what are you going to do, call around to everyone else so you get all the details? The ONLY person I would feel OK to get info. from enough to go would be the groom or bride...

I guess the ''thing'' is to convince E that it is awkward you guys have NO info., and that T isn''t returning any of the calls, and that it won''t feel good to just show up...but I don''t know how you''ll do that...

Have you considered telling him that you refuse to go? That it makes no sense that you guys didn''t get an invite because ''you don''t need one'' when everyone else got one?

I don''t envy the position you''re are in...

E is soooo under the ''this is not how to do things'' its not even funny. He has no idea that this isnt common. Hopefully E got all the details from the best man (who he is also friends with) - i didnt get much of a chance tot alk to him. I am not going to refuse to go, but it will be awkward. I just don''t want to cause problems between E & T right now (or ever). Honestly, T isnt the most socially couth person there is either

I''m sure everything will turn out fine. At least i know a few things
1) i have awesome hair and a new dress

2) we can look back and laugh becuase we will be ''that couple'' that no one knows why they showed up (er... that sounds bad. oh well!)
3) did i mention i will have awesome hair?
4) this wedding will be on E''s mind for our future engagement (fingers crossed).


ps - watch, when we go to E parent''s today, there will be an invite lol!

hahahahaha Well, have fun showing off your awesome hair and dress!

And you MUST update us after the wedding to see how it went!

We''ll keep our fingers crossed for you! (I thought your avatar was your e-ring...didn''t "catch" that you used the term bf)