Wedding Invitation HELP

[Rock Your Socks]

So i need some advice on invitations...

Have many or any of you invited some people solely for the ceremony and then a separate amount of people who come to the ceremony and the reception?

Is is general rule that only people invited to both the ceremony and the reception should be invited or have some of you done ''split'' invites?

I''m really conflicted about it because there are people i want to see me get married such as old family friends but on the other hand if i don''t talk to them often or even see them on a regular basis should they be invited?

I cant afford to pay for 20 extra people to come to the reception just because i want them to see me get married!

Also there are people who came to my engagement party...is it generally a rule that these people be invited?

I know i''ve asked heaps of questions but i just need some help....I feel like i''m drowning bcoz i have no idea what to do....

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hello! I believe it''s generally considered to be in poor taste to invite to the ceremony only. I know it''s really frustrating to make cuts, I''ve had the same issue.

And if the same people who hosted the engagement party are the ones sending out the invites (you, your parents, etc.) then yes, the same people need to be invited. It was a random engagement party hosted by a family friend where you didn''t control the guest list that allows for a bit more wiggle room, but otherwise they should be invited as well. Only invite the people you can''t imagine being there, if you don''t see them that often and they aren''t a large part of your life maybe you should rethink it and move them to a "b-list." Hope this helps some!

 

[cara]

You are allowed to invite people to the reception only but not the ceremony only. Sorry, but its rude to say you want them to see you get married but then can''t afford to invite them to the celebration. If these people are important enough to you to witness your wedding, then reprioritize your expenses (reduce the fanciness of the reception or cut somewhere else.)

I understand heartstrings and guilt on guestlist issues, it is perhaps the hardest balancing act of the wedding, but you do have a choice here about how to go about it. Small wedding are OK, inexpensive receptions are OK, but not inviting more people than you can afford. Best of luck.

 

[kittybean]

I think Sarah explained it very well. You really can''t invite people to the ceremony and not also to the reception. I believe it is or has been acceptable to invite people to the reception only, but those that you invite to the ceremony must be invited to the reception as well. I would strongly suggest you refrain from inviting guests to the ceremony only.

As far as those who came to the engagement party, I think it depends on what kind of an affair the engagement party was. If it was very informal, I don''t think all the attendees have to be invited to the wedding. For example, we threw one of my roommates an engagement party a few months ago and invited a ton of friends and acquaintances from school and just had a keg and some cheap champagne. Most of the people who came were definitely aware that they would not be invited to her wedding, and it was fine. However, if your MOH or your parents or you threw a more formal engagement party, it is expected that anyone invited to that party also be invited to the wedding.

 

[Rock Your Socks]

Thanks guys...i didn''t mean it to sound like it does....i should explain a lot of the extra guests are people my mom wants to invite from her church and some i''ve known since i was a little girl (although my extra list is about 5 compared to about the 15-18 extras for my mom) but they are more mum''s friends but anyways i suppose i will have to discuss it further with my mom and come up with a solution that we are both happy with financially or otherwise...

thanks sarah, cara and kitty...

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 9/8/2008 7:32:19 PM
Author: Rock Your Socks
Thanks guys...i didn''t mean it to sound like it does....i should explain a lot of the extra guests are people my mom wants to invite from her church and some i''ve known since i was a little girl (although my extra list is about 5 compared to about the 15-18 extras for my mom) but they are more mum''s friends but anyways i suppose i will have to discuss it further with my mom and come up with a solution that we are both happy with financially or otherwise...

thanks sarah, cara and kitty...

Believe me we understand completely! You didn''t sound mean or anything, it''s a really tough situation. I know for me it''s tough because FI has a HUUUUGEE family and everyone wants to come, but there'' just not enough room.

 

[Rock Your Socks]

Date: 9/8/2008 9:33:46 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS

Date: 9/8/2008 7:32:19 PM
Author: Rock Your Socks
Thanks guys...i didn''t mean it to sound like it does....i should explain a lot of the extra guests are people my mom wants to invite from her church and some i''ve known since i was a little girl (although my extra list is about 5 compared to about the 15-18 extras for my mom) but they are more mum''s friends but anyways i suppose i will have to discuss it further with my mom and come up with a solution that we are both happy with financially or otherwise...

thanks sarah, cara and kitty...

Believe me we understand completely! You didn''t sound mean or anything, it''s a really tough situation. I know for me it''s tough because FI has a HUUUUGEE family and everyone wants to come, but there'' just not enough room.

Thanks sarah, i know how swamped and completely buried in wedding stuff i am that it''s great to come onto pricescope and get someone elses perspective...its like having someone out there watching out for me...oh shucks....thanks again....