Wedding Invitation Etiquette Question!

[CDNinNYC]

I tried searching previous posts but can't locate any that answers my question. I was recently in Europe visiting my parents and extended family. While there, I was told, on more than one occasion, by different family members (aunts mostly) that they won't be attending my wedding unless we have it in Europe, which is not happening.

So, my question is, do I still send these 'guests' invitations?

 

[Krissie]

Hi CDN!

I would still invite them. Some of D''s family told us, after receiving Save the Dates, that they couldn''t travel to the US for the wedding. We included them on the invite list just to let them know they were invited anyhow - we wanted them to feel included. I don''t really know what the correct response is, but we felt that if they were on the S-T-D list, they were also getting an invite.

 

[neatfreak]

Yes. If you would want them there you should send them invites.

 

[Gwyn]

If they said they were not coming then I would just send them an announcement. You could maybe confirm that they will not be able to attend when you send out STDs or closer to the wedding date in case circumstances have changed for them. But why waste time and money on sending them an invite (including postage) when they are not coming.

Not to mention, it kind of will seem like you are fishing for a gift if you send them an invite after they said they will not be able to attend. Granted you are sending an invite b.c you want them there if they can make it. But I think, if they already said they cant and confirmed again, that sending an invite is unecessary.

 

[CDNinNYC]

Thanks for the responses! Gwyn, you put into words my exact thoughts that I wasn''t able to articulate! I''m in the process of preparing my STDs, so I think I''ll send them out in the hopes circumstances have changed but perhaps just send out an announcement closer to the date if their situation remains the same.

I was just thrown for a loop because we hadn''t yet confirmed our guest list and already had people telling us they weren''t coming!

Cheers!
CDN

 

[waterlilly]

perhaps include a hand written note - saying you are sorry they can not attend, but wanted them to know you were thinking of them, wish they could be there, if anything changes would love to see them there, hope to see them soon, etc.?

 

[winston26]

I think it depends on WHO it is. If you''re saying they were Aunts, I think you should send an invite. I took it that they were just trying to give you a heads up; they might be hurt if they aren''t formally invited out of respect. An Aunt would usually give a gift regardless so I don''t think they''d see it as you just wanting a gift.
On the other hand, if it was someone you were on the fence about or didn''t know THAT well, then I''d skip the invite. I had that same scenario. Friends of my Aunt....we like them a lot but they live far away and are not related or super close so we didn''t want to sound like we were trying to get a gift.