I''m sad...

[tigian]

My DH is on a 3 week trip out of the country and it''s only the first day. I''ve been keeping busy this evening but the house seems really empty without him at night.

What is the longest your SO and you have been apart?

 

[Circe]

Aw, Tigian, that''s really tough. My husband travels a lot for work, and his first three week trip just *wrecked* me, at least at first - I was all teary and "abandoned" for the first few days. I acclimated by the end of the week and spent the rest of the time working hard on my own career, establishing little routines of my own like going to the local farmers marker on Fridays, etc., but, you know, I *still* hate his long trips ....

P.S. - If you have friends in the neighborhood, spending tons of time with them helps. If not (I didn''t), PS helps!

 

[trillionaire]

about 3 months when we graduated undergrad. We both had no jobs that summer while waiting to start grad school in the fall... We didn''t see each other until I went to a conference near his family, and we stayed in a hotel together in the city It was lovely. Then we did 2 months a few weeks ago, and that was a lot easier than I thought it would be. We''ve also done 6 weeks, which didn''t go so hot, but it was years ago when we were needier and less mature.

At this point, we are at 5 years LDR! :-O

Just STAY BUSY!!!! lol. Best advice I have. Go out, visit with friends, read books, exercise, talk on the phone...

 

[bee*]

The longest I''ve been apart from D is a week and it was me that was on the trip so it''s kind of different than being the one at home. I like having some free time by myself but three weeks is a long time. Try and enjoy it though-eat cereal for dinner, lots of SATC, things are always where you leave them..etc.

 

[SeaStar]

Oh Tigian, you''re in good company. My fiance leaves for a week long trip to Vegas in about an hour, and I''m already feeling a little blue. I''m excited for him, but we''ve never been apart in the five years we''ve been together.

 

[missjaxon]

I feel your pain

, my fiance works night shifts every other week and when he does he is gone all night and then sleeps most of the day until it is time to go to work again. I go absolutely crazy. I try and take advantage of the "me time" and have nice bubble baths, read a good book or go out and do stuff with the girls. I also second SATC is a great way to spend some alone time.

 

[LadyBlue]

Sorry

, 3 weeks it''s a lot of time

. I will tried to organize some events with friends, rent movies, ake myslef yummy dinner, tried to do things you enjoy and sometimes you don''t have to do it when your Dh is there.

 

[Skippy123]

hugs, hope you go do something fun or rent up girlie movies.

 

[lulu]

My DH just left this morning on one of his 8 day motorcycle jaunts. Then he''ll be home one week and gone three. The three week trip will be the longest we''re ever apart. When he leaves I have a euphoric "I have the whole house to myself" attitude. But it''s always gone by evening.

 

[karee888]

Two summers ago, I was in Japan for 14 weeks. Right now, I''m in the Netherlands for a total of 7 weeks. I go home in 12 days, and I can''t wait!!!!!!!!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Well, as of now I don''t think DH and I have ever been apart for more than about a week and a half, but we better get used to it soon - I''ve got a two-week training in August that kicks off a new job for me which will involve a LOT of travel.

I find that as Circe suggested, developing my own little rituals, whether I''m the one traveling or the one at home, really helps. It helps even more if the rituals involve taking time for myself - whether its just reading a good book, or doing my own nails, or watching a girly movie or TV show.

 

[princesss]

4 months, I think. There was a 1 or 2 week break in that where we saw each other, but I''m pretty sure it was 4 months. We did that two or three times...twice, now that I think about it, and 2 or 3 months one time after that. It sucked. Mostly I tried to keep myself occupied, but it was tough. Luckily it made our relationship stronger each time. I feel bad sometimes that he had to do that - I was used to LDRs and thought of them as fairly normal, and I''m also used to long separations, but BF hadn''t grown up thinking that was normal, so when he had to do it for the first time at 18/19, it definitely wasn''t easy (especially since we''d been together for only 4 months at the time!).

 

[Porridge]

That''s tough

first stint apart was 5 weeks, he was at a conference and I went on holidays the day before he was due back! We''ve been LDR California to Ireland since September and I think the longest break was 3 months. It really sucks! Keep busy though, do lots of girly stuff with your friends.

 

[tigian]

Thank you all for sharing! I feel better after reading your experiences.
I am planning on catching up on girly movies, phone calls, I''m taking a class one weekend, visiting some friends, going to make a point of going to the gym or to yoga class in the evenings after work.
Circe-I''m planning on being on PS even more since none of my friends live close by.

trillionaire-5 years of LDR. Wow! You guys must have a really strong, special connection.
bee That is one thing! I can eat whatever I want for dinner! Including cereal and/or chocolate.
Seastar

Just think of how happy you will be when he gets back. That''s what I was thinking this morning.

 

[tigian]

missjaxon-night shifts must be hard. He''s there, but not really.

gaby-I was also thinking I would organize the closets and drawers.
Skippy-thanks for the hugs
lulu-LOL! "When he leaves I have a euphoric "I have the whole house to myself" attitude. But it''s always gone by evening." Yup!

 

[TravelingGal]

We had long distance for ages, so the longest time apart was 7 months. But that doesn''t really count since we were LDR at the time.

Since we''ve been married, the longest was about 2 weeks when he went on a biz trip. I LOVED it! I kept the TV OFF (since I love peace and quiet and he is always watching something), but did watch a couple of movies that I wanted. I slept in the middle of the bed. I took the weekend to visit friends. I also had evening cocktail parties at my place with plenty of yummy finger foods.

I also gabbed on the phone with friends who live far away. I love alone time!!! I get so little of it as a wife and mom!

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/29/2009 1:38:26 AM
Author: tigian

My DH is on a 3 week trip out of the country and it's only the first day. I've been keeping busy this evening but the house seems really empty without him at night.

What is the longest your SO and you have been apart?

I almost made a joke and then I thought better of it. I see that you are actually sad, tigian, and I really do not like to see anyone sad. I have been married for 32 years, however, and when my husband started to do some serious travel after we had been married for about 18 years, I have to say that I really enjoyed it. He was never gone for more than about two weeks at a time or I might have missed him, but two weeks in Switzerland, a week in Canada, a quick trip to Argentina.... I enjoyed it. I also had an infant. I could read in bed with the light on.

(T-Gal and I seem to be kindred spirits.)

AGBF

 

[decodelighted]

I'm sorry Tigian! My DH was just away for three weeks and I was prepared to just deal w/it ... but at the last minute found a super saver fare & ended up visiting him for a long weekend after the 12 day mark. It was the longest we'd been apart since becoming a couple about five years ago.

If I hadn't found the super fare (or his parents hadn't agreed to doggie sit!) I would have been sad but it wasn't AS BAD as it seemed the first couple days. I got into a bit of a groove w/eating girlie foods & planning my weekends full of stuff he doesn't like doing etc.

Hang in there!


ETA: I forgot the best part ... or, rather, the part that helped me the most. I had a big gardening/landscaping project I was working on & it was fun to think about him seeing it for the first time in person. I sent pictures documenting my progress and it kept me busy & exhausted & creatively fulfilled. My neighbors were great -- admiring how much I was getting done by *myself*. Was a bit of a boost & I'm so happy with the results!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Sorry you''re missing your DH already. How about setting up some girls'' nights out to keep you busy? You need to find another avenue of socialization while he is gone.

I hate to say this, but when I went on a trip w/out DH and was gone for 7 days and it was wonderful. But, then again, we''ve been together for many years, have kids, and I desperately needed a break from all three of those guys.

Seriously, try and enjoy your time alone. Take it as an opportunity to spend evenings doing activities you normally would not do. Eat cereal for dinner and watch chick flicks!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/29/2009 4:04:55 AM
Author: bee*
The longest I''ve been apart from D is a week and it was me that was on the trip so it''s kind of different than being the one at home. I like having some free time by myself but three weeks is a long time. Try and enjoy it though-eat cereal for dinner, lots of SATC, things are always where you leave them..etc.

How funny. . .I posted before reading other responses. There is nothing better than cereal for dinner! Well, actually, I''m allergic to milk HOWEVER the idea of not cooking and being lazy and not worrying about making the husband happy is a huge relief!

 

[isaku5]

We''ve been married for 46 years and the longest we''ve been apart is one week...at a time. During our first year, it was I who did the one week visit with favourite aunt and uncle. Then about 4 years later I went to summer school to finish up my BA and the second and third years were spent studying for the teaching creds. I missed my DH like crazy, but we saw each other on weekends and made the best of it. I was busy at school and he was busy working at home so that took some of the sting out of it.

I know how you feel, though. Three weeks sounds like an eternity, but as others have suggested, do all the things you''ve wanted to do, see every chick flick you can lay your hands on (none of the really sad ones, though), visit friends online, by phone, or on weekends, by car...eat anything you want to, read later than usual, listen to your favourite upbeat songs, and above all - retail therapy rules!

 

[lulu]

Yep, I was right. It''s 8:30 and I''m feeling pretty blue.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I hate it when my husband travels too! He was gone last weekend and it was a lonely time for me, so I can certainly sympathize!

When DH and I first started dating, he traveled a lot for work. Once a month, for a week, like clock work. When we got to the 4 month anniversary--I joked that technically speaking, it had only been 3 months since he was MIA for 4 weeks!

Needless to say, I hated it when he was away...and although it was only for one week at a time.

I think you should run right out to the local Target, buy up a bunch of great movies you''ve been either wanting to see or wanted to see again...grab a few thick books that interest you (I''d be happy to recommend some

). Call some girlfriends and schedule dinners or drinks or shopping trips. Make a couple spa appointments. And don''t forget take out menus! Basically, enjoy yourself...do things that you might not always get the chance to do when your DH is home.