I''m P*SSED at SO!

[trillionaire]

... pissed happens.

How do you cope when you are pissed with your significant other?

Do you feed the mood (listen to angry music, trash them to a friend, stay grumpy and pissy?)
Do you diffuse the mood? (make jokes, distract yourself, etc)


What do you do to return to relationship homeostasis?

 

[Maisie]

Early on in our relationship I used to get really angry and stubborn and try to make him see my point of view. Now I just rest quietly in the knowledge that I am right and he is not. Its easier to be smug than to get into a fight.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/22/2008 7:07:05 PM
Author: Maisie
Early on in our relationship I used to get really angry and stubborn and try to make him see my point of view. Now I just rest quietly in the knowledge that I am right and he is not. Its easier to be smug than to get into a fight.

Hilarious!

 

[Circe]

I''m a muller and a chewer-over of slights, real or imagined. (Yeah, I know, not my most attractive character trait.) So, generally, I fume for a few hours until I''m calm enough to explain what upsets me RATIONALLY, and to reach a solution. My husband hates it - he says he wishes I''d just BLOW UP when I was angry, and get it over with - but displays of temper strike me as being unhealthy. I am, however, a big fan of resolving the issue as soon as possible, instead of letting it stew to contribute to future disagreements.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 8/22/2008 7:07:05 PM
Author: Maisie
Early on in our relationship I used to get really angry and stubborn and try to make him see my point of view. Now I just rest quietly in the knowledge that I am right and he is not. Its easier to be smug than to get into a fight.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 8/22/2008 7:03:24 PM
Author:trillionaire
... pissed happens.

How do you cope when you are pissed with your significant other?

Do you feed the mood (listen to angry music, trash them to a friend, stay grumpy and pissy?)
Do you diffuse the mood? (make jokes, distract yourself, etc)


What do you do to return to relationship homeostasis?

no sex!!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/22/2008 7:15:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 8/22/2008 7:03:24 PM

Author:trillionaire

... pissed happens.

How do you cope when you are pissed with your significant other?


Do you feed the mood (listen to angry music, trash them to a friend, stay grumpy and pissy?)

Do you diffuse the mood? (make jokes, distract yourself, etc)



What do you do to return to relationship homeostasis?

no sex!!

I take the opposite approach...

 

[LuckyTexan]

The last time I got mad at DH... I yelled for about 10 seconds and then we started talking about something else.

We don''t really ever get ''pissed'' at each other. I''m a firm believer in compromise and keeping life in perspective. If you aren''t going to achieve a positive result... STOP DOING IT!!!

 

[Tuckins1]

I just tell him i''m pissed and why. We usually work it out. If i''m still irritated, I just go do my own thing for a while and were better later. But, we don''t really argue much.

 

[purrfectpear]

I like to wait until they''re deep asleep and bean them with a cast iron frying pan. They usually straighten right out after that

 

[Kaleigh]

I don't spend time being pissed. If DH does something that ticks me off, I send off an email telling him how wrong he is. By the time he gets home it's not an issue.

I am a great debater, and will list every reason why what he did was wrong, what day he did such and such on, what he said, etc... He said my memory is super human, and that he's at a big disadvantage. He's right, that's one thing I won't argue, LOL!!!!

 

[2Artists]

I''m a music gal.

Mrs.2Artists

 

[swingirl]

Date: 8/22/2008 7:15:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 8/22/2008 7:03:24 PM

Author:trillionaire

... pissed happens.

How do you cope when you are pissed with your significant other?


Do you feed the mood (listen to angry music, trash them to a friend, stay grumpy and pissy?)

Do you diffuse the mood? (make jokes, distract yourself, etc)



What do you do to return to relationship homeostasis?

no sex!!

That'll teach her!!!

 

[decodelighted]

I''d def. resist the urge to "trash him" to a friend!

That''s the kind of stuff that comes back to you, say, on the morning of your future wedding when your "friend" decides to express her doubts. When you vent to friends about stuff they live through all the angst but don''t get the release of the "making up" yanno? They stay mad FOR you. About stuff you''re probably not even *really* that mad over. JUST SAY NO.

As for me: sometimes I make jokes that diffuse the issue (or illustrate how wrong he is in a creative way

) ... sometimes I stew & realize *I''m* wrong & then apologize ... sometimes I nap (bad habit ... depressive''s coping mech) ... sometimes I stew & realize how wrong HE is and make a sensible case which I''ll revisit when things are more calm.

 

[diamondfan]

If I really feel wronged I go for it, tell him how I feel. I do not let up easily.

If it is something pretty minor that hits me hard for some reason, I try to deep breathe and not let it get to me. If it comes back over and over, I might broach it.

I tend to send an email so I can be clear and less emotional. He can then read it and ponder his answer. I really like the email as I can write it but not send it, and then edit it if I calm down a bit. It also takes the nerves and stress away from me, as I get uptight when I have to confront something. I am not confrontational by nature, though I will do it when need be. If I think about what I want to say etc, I get very nervous and worked up.

 

[777_LDY]

Date: 8/22/2008 11:57:14 PM
Author: Kaleigh
I don''t spend time being pissed. If DH does something that ticks me off, I send off an email telling him how wrong he is. By the time he gets home it''s not an issue.

I am a great debater, and will list every reason why what he did was wrong, what day he did such and such on, what he said, etc... He said my memory is super human, and that he''s at a big disadvantage. He''s right, that''s one thing I won''t argue, LOL!!!!

Too funny, this sounds like me! Sometimes I wonder if ever even reads them though, lol!

 

[KimberlyH]

I talk to him. He doesn''t do much that angers me, but when we disagree I usually need a cooling off period (for me that means some time alone to think) and then we talk until we work things out. I would never discuss an argument between us with someone besides him, unless I felt someone could provide me with insight that I am otherwise missing, and I most certainly wouldn''t trash my husband to anyone, no matter how angry I was. We''ve never had an argument that we can''t resolve one way or another through communication (agreeing to disagree, compromise, etc.), but if something comes up again we reevaluate and come up with new solutions.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 8/22/2008 7:15:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 8/22/2008 7:03:24 PM

Author:trillionaire

... pissed happens.

How do you cope when you are pissed with your significant other?


Do you feed the mood (listen to angry music, trash them to a friend, stay grumpy and pissy?)

Do you diffuse the mood? (make jokes, distract yourself, etc)



What do you do to return to relationship homeostasis?

no sex!!

That''s just punishing yourself!!!!!

 

[Haven]

I can''t say that I get pissed at my hubby often, but when we do fight we end up staring each other down for a couple seconds, and then one of us says something completely rational and diffuses the situation.

I don''t like to be anything but happy for very long.

 

[isaku5]

When we were first married, 45 years ago, my temper flared more often than his. I would yell and scream (definitely not attractive

)at him citing all my reasons for being absolutely furious. Hubby listened, but said nothing which infuriated me further.

.

Then I got a little smarter, and asked him if he had any idea why I might be angry. Sometimes he did; other times he didn''t have a clue. I then explained quietly and logically what was bothering me, and asked for his input. This worked 1000 times better

. It took a lot of restraint on my part, but worked beautifully for us.

Good luck!

 

[princesss]

We usually just talk things through. Though, I will say, I think I''m a little odd. On the occasions when he''s in the wrong and recognizes how he hurt my feelings/upset me pretty quickly (i.e. without me having to explain and point out the numerous ways I''m rightfully hurt), he feels horrible and apologizes...and I get mad that he''s not arguing! I very rarely want to argue, but man, when I do, I really want to fight! I wish I was kidding, sometimes I get annoyed that he''s not so convinced that what he''s doing is right and worth arguing for (I try to only do things I really believe in) that I get frustrated and end up mad about something else. That''s really rare, though. (It''s maybe happened 3 times since we''ve been together?)

Mostly we resolve things within about 10 minutes of a problem cropping up.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/23/2008 12:46:42 AM
Author: decodelighted
I''d def. resist the urge to ''trash him'' to a friend!

That''s the kind of stuff that comes back to you, say, on the morning of your future wedding when your ''friend'' decides to express her doubts. When you vent to friends about stuff they live through all the angst but don''t get the release of the ''making up'' yanno? They stay mad FOR you. About stuff you''re probably not even *really* that mad over. JUST SAY NO.


As for me: sometimes I make jokes that diffuse the issue (or illustrate how wrong he is in a creative way

) ... sometimes I stew & realize *I''m* wrong & then apologize ... sometimes I nap (bad habit ... depressive''s coping mech) ... sometimes I stew & realize how wrong HE is and make a sensible case which I''ll revisit when things are more calm.

holy crap, i am dealing with this RIGHT NOW!!! and i am IN the wedding... and i DO NOT approve!!! what a pickle the bride put us in talking smack on her FI!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/23/2008 8:42:38 PM
Author: cbs102

Date: 8/23/2008 12:46:42 AM

Author: decodelighted

I''d def. resist the urge to ''trash him'' to a friend!

That''s the kind of stuff that comes back to you, say, on the morning of your future wedding when your ''friend'' decides to express her doubts. When you vent to friends about stuff they live through all the angst but don''t get the release of the ''making up'' yanno? They stay mad FOR you. About stuff you''re probably not even *really* that mad over. JUST SAY NO.



As for me: sometimes I make jokes that diffuse the issue (or illustrate how wrong he is in a creative way

) ... sometimes I stew & realize *I''m* wrong & then apologize ... sometimes I nap (bad habit ... depressive''s coping mech) ... sometimes I stew & realize how wrong HE is and make a sensible case which I''ll revisit when things are more calm.

holy crap, i am dealing with this RIGHT NOW!!! and i am IN the wedding... and i DO NOT approve!!! what a pickle the bride put us in talking smack on her FI!

I think there is a right way, and a wrong way to talk about thing that happen in your relationship. Why would you talk disparagingly of someone you are dating? They were your choice, and therefore a reflection of you! I tell people what is going on when I am upset about something, but they all love my BF, and think the world of him, and often take his side!

But I have friends who talk badly about their SO''s, and we all wonder why they are still dating. Be very careful of what and how you say things, I guess!

 

[diamondfan]

Sometimes I buy myself a little gift and feel much nicer towards him!

this works well when my mother in law is in town. Like now. '
And I have certainly been known to complain to my mom or a pal...hubby thinks he is pretty perfect so it can get annoying.

Not talking in the heat of the moment can be good for me, as I can get REALLY ticked and I let it rip. If I take a step or ten back, it helps. I clarify my position and can articulate things so much better.

Sulking is an option too sometimes, there are times I just do not want to rehash something then and there. I am typically chatty so if I clam up he knows I am upset, and sometimes I just do not even want to hear myself explain it AGAIN, even if I am right, and taking a break helps that.

Laughing about things helps a lot too.

 

[msb700]

Date: 8/22/2008 7:07:05 PM
Author: Maisie
Early on in our relationship I used to get really angry and stubborn and try to make him see my point of view. Now I just rest quietly in the knowledge that I am right and he is not. Its easier to be smug than to get into a fight.

ditto!!!!!! i couldnt have said it better =D

 

[meresal]

We argue until we have both heard eachother''s side and then we calmly sit and talk it out. Ususally cracking jokes about what idiots we were. Neither of us ever leave during arguements, it''s pretty much our unwritten rule.

We actually got into our biggest fight on Friday night, unfortunately at my parents house, and then we sat on my front steps and talked.

It''s the healthiest relationship I have ever been in, and I love it.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I reflect on the fact that this too will pass. I can make a mountain out of a molehill or let it go.