I'm kind of sad for my SIL (e-ring)

[Mrsacornblue]

She got engaged today, to a really nice guy. Both of them are pretty young and just starting out in their careers (they graduated this weekend in fact!). However, she sent me a pic of her ring and the first thing I thought was that I wish her fiance had asked for help in picking it out! I know he was working with a small budget but I think he went to a mall store and got a terribly cut princess diamond solitaire with really ugly prongs.

I know the amazing things that you all do with finding incredible diamonds and I was really hoping my MIL would pass along that my DH and I had some ideas as to where he could look to get an amazing diamond in his budget. I know a great jewler that would have gotten him a really good diamond no matter what his budget. It makes me sad because she's not the type to upgrade and a solitaire wasn't what she wanted (she wanted a halo or a ring with pink sapphire side stones).

I love diamonds and jewlery and I would have loved to help him. My DH did a lot of research and I truly love my ring, even though it is somewhat small compared to PS standards. It's a stunning diamond (to me) and it sparkles like mad. However, I'm trying not to sound like a snob and will tell her ring is lovely...

 

[Dancing Fire]

I love diamonds and jewlery and I would have loved to help him. My DH did a lot of research and I truly love my ring, even though it is somewhat small compared to PS standards. It's a stunning diamond (to me) and it sparkles like mad. However, I'm trying not to sound like a snob and will tell her ring is lovely...

sooo,you gonna lie??...

 

[Maisie]

I suppose you just have to hope she never finds Pricescope

Seriously though, i'm sure she is over the moon with her ring and engagement. And while it might not be as pretty as it could have been with your input, she will no doubt cherish the fact that he did it all on his own.

 

[Mayk]

Ignorance is BLISS!!!!

A friend recently got engaged... her diamond is HUGE... but it's dark in the center and you can just tell it's not a nice diamond. She doesn't have a clue.... so she's as happy as a piggy in slop... I'm not telling her.. I just put my hand in my pocket... to hide the glare off mine.... and say with a great big smile.. "It's lovely and I'm so happy for you".... much more difficult when it's family!!!

 

[Haven]

I know how it feels to think, "You could have done so much better!" when you see someone you care about with a not-so-great diamond, but unfortunately there's nothing you can do. I'm pretty sure every PSer has experienced this before, probably multiple times for many of us. But this situation really falls under the none-of-your-business-unless-they-ask-you-directly category.

The other thing is that most people will never care about diamonds the way we do here on PS. One of my closest friends wears a 3 ct RB that is clearly very poorly cut. She often comments that her stone looks filthy compared to mine, even right after she's cleaned it, but she doesn't really care enough to figure out *why* her stone just doesn't shine. It's big, it belonged to her grandmother, and that's enough for her. Your values regarding diamonds won't be shared by everyone, and hopefully that's something that can make you feel better when you see your SIL's ring.

 

[kenny]

Pricescope Rule #1: Every diamond already purchased and not refundable is the MOST fantastic diamond in the world.

 

[vc10um]

Pricescope Rule #1: Every diamond already purchased and not refundable is the MOST fantastic diamond in the world.

Well said, kenny!

Just soak up some of her excitement and find something nice about the ring. Perhaps it's the perfect size for her hand? Or even "that will look fabulous with a pink sapphire wedding band"??? (Plant the idea with her FI NOW and maybe, in the end, you'll help to get her something she really longs for!)

 

[Mayk]

Pricescope Rule #1: Every diamond already purchased and not refundable is the MOST fantastic diamond in the world.

+1

 

[Mrsacornblue]

I love diamonds and jewlery and I would have loved to help him. My DH did a lot of research and I truly love my ring, even though it is somewhat small compared to PS standards. It's a stunning diamond (to me) and it sparkles like mad. However, I'm trying not to sound like a snob and will tell her ring is lovely...

sooo,you gonna lie??...

Lie is such a harsh term. Maybe...exagerate the truth is better?

I will say nothing mean. I am sure she loves her ring and is over the moon excited. I am happy for them to be engaged, just a little sad that her ring could have been so much more. Hoever, she has to wear it not me, so as long as she is happy, that's all that matters .

 

[kenny]

Snobbery, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Your diamond knowledge is nothing to apologize for.
You also are clearly a considerate, intelligent and sensitive soul.

 

[Enerchi]

Pricescope Rule #1: Every diamond already purchased and not refundable is the MOST fantastic diamond in the world.

+1

+ 2. I agree that keeping quiet is the safest bet. Smile, "ooh & aaah" and change the topic to wedding details!

 

[Mrsacornblue]

Thanks everyone! I knew you could appreciate me being happy for them and this huge milestone but somewhat sad at the same time knowing what I know about diamonds. Sometimes ignorance is bliss!

 

[Mrsacornblue]

Snobbery, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Your diamond knowledge is nothing to apologize for.
You also are clearly a considerate, intelligent and sensitive soul.

Thank you Kenny! I appreciate this...I have always enjoyed reading your comments!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Well, she can always upgrade down the line if she ever discovers the likes of Pricescope. Hehe, in the mean time, you can drop hints at how jewelry suave you are in case that time ever comes and she decides she wants a second opinion!

My DH did the research and picked out the diamond and ring himself as well, he did a great job with the diamond. The ring part..well, I've reset it to be a bit more "me", but I adore the stone and doubt I"ll ever go bigger even though mine's also modest by the standards here.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I love diamonds and jewlery and I would have loved to help him. My DH did a lot of research and I truly love my ring, even though it is somewhat small compared to PS standards. It's a stunning diamond (to me) and it sparkles like mad. However, I'm trying not to sound like a snob and will tell her ring is lovely...

sooo,you gonna lie??...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Snobbery, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Your diamond knowledge is nothing to apologize for.
You also are clearly a considerate, intelligent and sensitive soul.

Thank you Kenny! I appreciate this...I have always enjoyed reading your comments!

don't let Kenny fool ya...he is a BIG DIAMOND SNOB

 

[kenny]

Snobbery, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

Your diamond knowledge is nothing to apologize for.
You also are clearly a considerate, intelligent and sensitive soul.

Thank you Kenny! I appreciate this...I have always enjoyed reading your comments!

don't let Kenny fool ya...he is a BIG DIAMOND SNOB

Shhhhhh!

 

[movie zombie]

all that matters is that she is happy!

 

[innerkitten]

My husbands SIL just has a silver band. She's just not into jewelry. 16 years ago when they got married they didn't have the money and now that they do they just don't seem bothered.

 

[innerkitten]

all that matters is that she is happy!

True.

 

[Imdanny]

If I had a nickel for every time I've read this story. Sorry, OP. Whatever she feels now, you never know if 10 or 20 years later she will upgrade it. I know it's upsetting but try not to sweat it.

 

[Mrsacornblue]

If I had a nickel for every time I've read this story. Sorry, OP. Whatever she feels now, you never know if 10 or 20 years later she will upgrade it. I know it's upsetting but try not to sweat it.

If we had a fund for this, the Pricescope bling budget would be massively increased!! I never thought I would be posting this story but as I said earlier, I'm glad she's happy and that the guy she is marrying is wonderful.

 

[SB621]

PSers have already given you some great advice. My recommendation is that down the road..perhaps on one of her anniversary's you offer to help pick out or create an anniverary ring or RHR for her.

My brother who I really dislike got engaged a few years ago. Even though we dont' really care for each other if he had asked me too I would have been thrilled to assist him with getting a diamond ring for his Fi. Instead he went to some pawn store with his limited buget. Got a tiny diamond that is grey with lots of flur (which isn't a bad thing) but in this case the diamond just looks bizarre.

 

[Lotus99]

I'm glad to hear he's a wonderful guy. Finding those is much harder than finding the perfect diamond!

My mother never had an ering, and my brother never bought one for his wife. I insisted on a ring. People vary (have you heard that before?).

 

[HollyS]

Pricescope Rule #1: Every diamond already purchased and not refundable is the MOST fantastic diamond in the world.

Well said.

If she is happy, smile and be happy for her.

 

[distracts]

Yep. I have flat-out told my best friends (all unmarried, most even single, haha) that there is a LOT more to diamond/colored stone/ring shopping than meets the eye, sent them a link to pricescope, and told them to post on PS or contact me (or have their S/O do so) when ring-shopping is on the horizon if they want to ensure they are getting the best bang for their buck and the most beauty. That way at least they know this resource exists and can do some research, and if they don't want to do their research, that's on them. Over a year after getting my e-ring, some of my friends are still asking to try it on and wear it around when they come over to my house (do anyone else's friends do this? It's kind of weird but also charming?) so it's easy to slip into conversation that Pricescope is a fantastic resource to learn about fine jewelry, and then later I can fb them the link with another sentence or two. But also I take jewelry classes and stuff so everyone knows I love jewelry and love to talk about it and so it isn't really an awkward thing to bring up. But with them, I am close enough to try to do a little bit of preemptive damage control and have it be okay. I wouldn't be close enough to any of my cousins to do that unless they asked. Fortunately my family deals with jewelry mostly by going to high-end name-brand jewelry stores and so they are getting great stuff, even if not superideal stuff.

Also I see this problem most with princesses. If I see another badly-cut princess on my news feed on facebook, I swear I will write a PSA post and out all the fugly ones. A couple I've seen in person don't sparkle at all. AT ALL. I didn't know they made diamonds in "unsparkly." But I do always look for something nice to say, even if it is "Wow, you must love your ring so much!" which does not actually say anything about how I feel about the ring.

 

[movie zombie]

food for thought: somewhere out there is a super rich woman with elizabeth taylor taste and ability to own jewelry. that woman is feeling sorry for many here on pricescope........ its all relative.

be happy for those that have what they want even if it doesn't meet pricescope standards. seriously.


eta: 1-it leaves more for us to buy and 2-demand isn't driven up and thereby driving up price. yeah, prices go up but nothing what they would if there were more competition for the same stones/rings.

 

[Haven]

food for thought: somewhere out there is a super rich woman with elizabeth taylor taste and ability to own jewelry. that woman is feeling sorry for many here on pricescope........ its all relative.

be happy for those that have what they want even if it doesn't meet pricescope standards. seriously.


eta: 1-it leaves more for us to buy and 2-demand isn't driven up and thereby driving up price. yeah, prices go up but nothing what they would if there were more competition for the same stones/rings.

Great point, and I completely agree!

Does this thread make anyone else think about the movie Shallow Hal? That's all I can think about when I read it!

 

[purplesilk]

food for thought: somewhere out there is a super rich woman with elizabeth taylor taste and ability to own jewelry. that woman is feeling sorry for many here on pricescope........ its all relative.

be happy for those that have what they want even if it doesn't meet pricescope standards. seriously.

Yes, this is a great point.


"Common" people consider PSers too picky and pedant.

Your SIL is happy, so be happy for her: instead of telling her big lies on how beautiful her ring is, let her talk about how she feels and about her future plans.