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I'm fuming about a lost pendant

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ForteKitty

ForteKitty

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 7, 2004
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5,239
I lost a pendant this weekend. I put it in my purse on saturday night, and put the purse on the table before going to bed at the hotel. When i woke up on sunday, the bf was packing and my purse was knocked over on its side. It was early so i finished packing and we checked out. After i got home, i realized my pendant is gone.

Now I blame the bf, and i'm SO angry that i'm thinking about ending the relationship over this. It's not about the pendant itself, but the fact that he had the gall to ask if maybe i left it somewhere else. I dont leave crap lying around, and certainly not my jewelry. If he didn't knock over my purse, it wouldn't be missing.

Tell me i'm overreacting and he just needs to buy me something nice to replace it.
 
Deep breaths. Unless the pendant has deep sentimental value, it's not worth being super upset about. I mean, accidents happen and it's not like BF intentionally knocked your purse over and dumped it. I'm sure BF was doing what all men do - he was trying to solve the problem by covering all bases and go through the mental checklist of questions to ask when something is wrong/missing. I don't think he meant harm to you. Of course, I don't know you or your BF... so take my advice for what it's worth.

You could always call the hotel - if they have honest housecleaning staff, your pendant is likely in lost and found. You may be surprised!

Good luck!
 
Was this the weekend you and the bf were going to the Phoenix area? I know a gal who works housekeeping at the Phoenician if that is where you stayed.
 
OMG they just called back and they actually found it!! They said they couldn't a few hours ago, but security went thru the room one more time and found it on the floor. It'll be fedex'd over today.

We stayed at the JW Marriott Desert Ridge- first class service. I loved Phoenix/Scottsdale, and I will be staying there again.
 
FK, I'm glad they found it. Sad loss if they hadn't. Quite a recommendation for the hotel, too. Is BF out of the doghouse too? He was, I think, just being a male. Good news, anyway!

--- Laurie
 
LOL..BF is in the free and clear now. I bet he was catching hell and hell hath no fury like a PSer with a lost piece of jewelry :angryfire: . Glad it was found
 
Are you still trading in the BF?

Glad they've found your pendant. Really good news.
 
He apologized after I told him it was found where the fallen purse landed. But it shouldn't even get to that point since he knows how i am about leaving my jewelry in a certain place. He's still in the dog house for suggesting that I left it on the sink.

But i am very glad they found it, and i'm extremely impressed with the level of service.
 
I'm so glad they found it! I'm always heartbroken when I lose a piece of jewelry (usually the right earring for me - I moved when they were piercing my ears, and my right earring hole is larger and asymmetrical, so hook-style earrings constantly fall out).

About your BF, I do think you were overreacting a bit, and I'd give him a break either way. As I see it, it's not completely out of line to suggest that you might have left it somewhere else. We all make mistakes like that every now and then. If he made the mistake of not putting your pendant back when he knocked your purse over, it's conceivable that you might have made the mistake of putting the pendant somewhere else in the first place. I'm compulsive about where I put my jewelry too, but things are different when you're not in your usual home environment. I hope things are OK between you two.
 
The pendant is a 4ct precision cut gem... so yea, i was really P'd off, especially when he saw me taking all my jewelry off the night before AND teased me about being anal retentive w/ my stuff. There better not be a chip on it. How does one knock over a small box looking, flat bottom'd, footed purse that was on the TV stand/dresser/whatever that big ol thing is called?!? there was about 1.5ft of space on each side of the TV, and about a whole foot in front of it!!
 
Glad you got it back & I understand how you feel. Where did you guys end up eating?
 
Since the weather was gonna be bad on friday & sat, we got to the hotel asap on thursday so we can have some good pool/lazy river time. The JW's pools and lounge areas are so NICE. Checked in around 10am, ate lunch at the pool and hh@ Roy's (hh everything is $5, super yummy drinks and apps!! we got 11 things...) Ended up doing stuff w/ the wedding party on friday and sat (which i didn't know about, bf's friends got married... and you know how guys are: plans? i dunno.. oh yea, we were supposed to be here and here. grr.), so we didnt' have a chance to eat at any of the recommended places. It was freezing on saturday!!

We loved Scottsdale so much that we plan on going back next spring! Or maybe even Thanksgiving. is it warm enough to use the pool in late Nov? Either way, we wanna go back and next time we wont have commitments so we can eat more.
 
It's about him respecting my things and taking responsibility for knocking over my stuff. (which he denied for the longest time, then finally admitted that maybe he knocked it over when he was grabbing his stuff from the dresser but he didn't see anything fall out) I would never treat his football/baseball cards like it doesn't matter, or say it's okay if i accidentally dropped it. I do not want to hear "it's just a pendant and you have a lot more at home".

And yes, i showed him this thread. Like i said, it's not about the pendant, but him blaming me for misplacing it to cover his tracks. Maybe he was scared i'd be even more pissed, but if he knew me at all, he would not have lied. At this point, i dont care anymore. If he'll lie about this, what else might he lie about?
 
Fortekitty, I am so glad it was found. I am like you, I only leave things one place. I wanted to tell you about the small little
jewelry case I bought at Tiffany's. It cost a fortune, (about 100.) but it has place to hold your rings or studs and another little
spot for necklaces. It is round, about 2 1/2 inches across and it zips all the way around. When my jewelry comes off, it goes inside and
I zip it up. That is how anal I am about it.

I also got a cute little travel case from Leatherology to carry a bit more stuff.

http://www.leatherology.com/item_detail.aspx?ItemCode=LWS09455G02083


I can't find the tiffany one on their website anymore, but hopefully it will come back. I tried to take a picture but couldn't
get a good one. It is black patent leather and round with a tan interior and a zip all around.
 
ForteKitty|1302569144|2893690 said:
It's about him respecting my things and taking responsibility for knocking over my stuff. (which he denied for the longest time, then finally admitted that maybe he knocked it over when he was grabbing his stuff from the dresser but he didn't see anything fall out) I would never treat his football/baseball cards like it doesn't matter, or say it's okay if i accidentally dropped it. I do not want to hear "it's just a pendant and you have a lot more at home".

And yes, i showed him this thread. Like i said, it's not about the pendant, but him blaming me for misplacing it to cover his tracks. Maybe he was scared i'd be even more pissed, but if he knew me at all, he would not have lied. At this point, i dont care anymore. If he'll lie about this, what else might he lie about?[/quote]

Doesn't sound like a good time to be planning a vacation w/him! ;)
Click to expand...
 
So he claims he really did forget he knocked it over because it was so early in the morning. Didn't remember till he thought long and hard about it. Doesn't help that he was slightly hung over from the wedding the night before. I told him those are not reasonable excuses and he's a grownass man.

We'll see, he better not piss me off again. We already booked our vacays for the year. (thank god because airfare is insane right now) Got Hawaii in may, Orlando in june, Vegas in late june, and NY in august.

eta: you know what this is really about? me not taking any kind of crap from anyone. two of my friends are in the process of divorce, and they're so upset because they had blinders on about their husbands the whole time. I told him I do NOT want to be one of those women who whine and cry about everything wrong, yet, refuse to see the truth. If i come across as a major B, so be it. better than than a doormat.
 
ForteKitty|1302715512|2895091 said:
So he claims he really did forget he knocked it over because it was so early in the morning. Didn't remember till he thought long and hard about it. Doesn't help that he was slightly hung over from the wedding the night before. I told him those are not reasonable excuses and he's a grownass man.

We'll see, he better not piss me off again. We already booked our vacays for the year. (thank god because airfare is insane right now) Got Hawaii in may, Orlando in june, Vegas in late june, and NY in august.

eta: you know what this is really about? me not taking any kind of crap from anyone. two of my friends are in the process of divorce, and they're so upset because they had blinders on about their husbands the whole time. I told him I do NOT want to be one of those women who whine and cry about everything wrong, yet, refuse to see the truth. If i come across as a major B, so be it. better than than a doormat.
Click to expand...

I hope you don't mind me saying but your poor husband doesn't deserve this. At the end of the day if your friends marriages collapsed well that was their fault. It's not your husband's fault. If you aren't happy with him then that's a different issue but not sure that knocking over a purse and forgetting you've done it is crime of the century. I apologise and I don't mean to be rude but this is really an over-reaction. Nobody likes to lose jewellery but you should share the blame. Why wasn't your purse closed? Why hadn't you put it somewhere safe? Why was it somewhere that it could be knocked over? See what I mean? People make mistakes.
 
Just so you know, i never raised my voice or yelled. It's not effective. When i'm pissed, i dont talk. (btw, he wants me to tell everyone that he's a good boyfriend normally, just not when he's hungover because he can't remember things.) So I said stuff that I was thinking in my mind. We are very blunt in real life and i forget that my bluntness can be interpreted wrong in posts.

The thought that he lied to cover his tracks would make anyone mad, especially if you think they also tried to blame you for it. I dont think i'm a bad person for thinking that it may lead to other lies. I'm just being honest. I wrote what happened as it happened. When he finally remembered, it was after I posted about it, and I updated it. I wasn't about to go back and edit my original post.

The purse was on a dresser, w/ about a foot of space on both sides, and about a foot of space front and back. I dont like to put it on the floor. It doesn't have a zipper, only a snap close pocket. it is a stable, bottom heavy purse and would not be knocked over unless he was flailing around looking for his stuff, which he admitted to doing. Under normal circumstances, barring an earthquake, that purse would not have fallen over.
 
Forte,
You might want to ask the mods to move this to the Hangout section, as you will get a lot more responses there. This really isn't about colored stones, as it is about someone "respecting your stuff" as you put it. Just a friendly note. :))
 
sorry for taking up CS bandwith. i'll have it moved.

eta: i just reported it!
 
I showed this thread to the guys I work with in the office (ages range from 25 to 42), and the GUYs opinion unanimously was it's time for the BF to find a new GF. They thought the trips to Hawaii, Florida and Vegas may be prime places to find the GF. My thoughts of course were he should buy you many many more well cut stones.
 
PrecisionGem|1302722611|2895208 said:
I showed this thread to the guys I work with in the office (ages range from 25 to 42), and the GUYs opinion unanimously was it's time for the BF to find a new GF. They thought the trips to Hawaii, Florida and Vegas may be prime places to find the GF. My thoughts of course were he should buy you many many more well cut stones.
Click to expand...

:D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol:
 
i agree, any of those locations would be good places to find a new gf. why bring sand to the beach? :bigsmile: Too bad he doesn't buy any of my things for me. And since this is going to be moved to hangout soon, i'll open up about more stuff.

Gene, i'd like you to ask you buddies about that one... see that they think after knowing the full story.

He says things he doesn't remember when he's drunk. Most of in in jest, but still, some aren't nice. He rags on his friends and vice versa. The wedding last weekend was his frat buddy's wedding, and of course we were meeting SO of his friends.

While intoxicated, he called one of the girls a c**t. Never met her before, and he called her a c**t. i was not happy about it, and had to do some damage control. When I told him what he said was not cool and i dont care to hear it again, he said he doesn't remember saying it. He still doesn't remember saying it. He usually doesn't drink to the point of drunkeness, only twice that i can remember in the past 3 years, and i've never heard him use the C word before.

That, PLUS him forgetting knocking over the purse thing.. that pushed me over.

Now, knowing the full story, what do you think?

I think i need a new BF. Hawaii might be a good place to start.
 
I'm not Gene but clearly from even your first post there were issues (rather than the knocking over of your purse). If you're that unhappy you MUST move on. It doesn't matter what he has/hasn't done. If you don't like it, are not happy then move on. You only live once.
 
FK - sounds like you should move on. Also, sounds like your boyfriend has a drinking problem if he cannot recall what was said when drunk (and it sounds like he's been drunk more than twice in the last three years) & he's drinking quit a bit (like a binge amount). Maybe this is or is not the primary reason you're actually angry with him?!

Either way, for sure get a jewelry travel box of some kind.
 
One of the guys in the office wants to know if he can go to Hawaii with you! He doesn't know much about gems, I'm still trying to train them here. At least he know where he can buy some stones!
 
I've got it! Get the jewelry travel box and put the bf in it :naughty:
 
lovingdiamonds- i think you misunderstood. I'm not unhappy, just wondering (outloud on a public forum, haha, maybe i shouldn't have) if this incident is something i should be concerned about. And i know it came across like i was the wicked witch, so i wanted to explain what happened!

I'm normally happy, and the relationship has been very good... which is why his actions kinda surprised me. Which led to me thinking about my friends getting divorces, and wondering if i had blinders on... then determining that i dont want to be the girl who's got blinders on. Maybe it was an overraction, but after hearing some gory details about my two friends' divorces, i've been a little weary about what people are capable of.

MC- He got drunk twice that i remember, both times at weddings because the bridal party kept doing shots. One of those times i was pissed drunk too because the groom was running around making everyone do shots... ugh. never again. But when we do drink, it's usually for happy hour, and only 2-3 drinks over a few hourr, so tipsy, yes, but not drunk. Oh, and at sports games he'll have maybe a beer or two. He definitely doesn't have a drinking problem. we drink about the same amount.. i dont understand why it affects him so much?

Maybe i just dont understand men. Do they walk around calling each other a-holes and d-bags?

Gene- btw, i love the purple sapphire!
 
Everyone please remember that i dont hold anything back when i speak/write, so i'm not making him look better/worse than he is. However, i've been told that i'm rather blunt and it can hurt people's feelings, so maybe some of my words are a little harsh.

I know for a fact that he doesn't have a drinking problem. we drink the same amount and i'm half his weight. (100 vs 200) After reading this thread, he's going to the dr. to see if maybe his college years damaged his liver... since it doesn't seem to be working very well.

As for binge drinking, when our college friends tie the knot, we do drink more than usual... because they want us to get their money's worth outta the open bar... so yea, that's no good.
 
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