If you were me, what would you do??

[Kaleigh]

Many of you know I have 3 pets. Two dogs, Casper is 17, Callie is 12 and a bird Khackie who is 15... For many years when I leave on vacay, I had a great pet sitter come 3 to 4 times a day....


Left for Thanksgiving and came back to Casper who couldn't walk.. I saw the dog bed by the front door. Called the pet sitter and said , please tell me what is going on?? I left him in great condition... Now he can't walk?? I have email, and she didn't email me this tid bit... She said he got so depressed with you gone... He wouldn't walk... He just shut down..

So got back and nursed him back to his old self.. He's 100% dependent on me. He lives for me, and I am not being boastful. He just needs ME. DD is home tonight, was so excited to have him with her. Every time she took him, he ran back to me...

I said don't take it personally, but I am the only constant in his life. I stayed home with them while my husband and kids went to SIL's for Xmas.... To have them away at Christmas nearly killed me, as it''s a very important Holiday to me. But more important was the care of my doggies... So I bucked up and sucked it up...

I can't find anyone to stay here at the house. I don't trust the pet sitter, they say they come 3 to 4 times a day, but friends who use her are saying, the quality of care just isn't there as it used to be....

I am fine to stay here. Leaving them without proper care stresses me out beyond belief. I didn't get a dog to 17 for nothing....

Is it oK for me to get a pass?? I feel guilty as this will be the second vacation I am passing on, but it's only for 3 days.... So not really worth the risk to me...

 

[Circe]

I think it's more than okay for you to get a pass, honestly. That said, there are two sides to consider ....

On the one hand, pets are precious. They trust us. We owe it to them to be there. And, like you say, you didn't get him to 17 for nothing (or by being anything less than a wonderful pet owner). Staying with him will make him happy, and ease your heart.

On the other hand: while the not walking isn't a great sign (I am confident you've checked with a vet to see if there were any underlying things, so I won't even ask), 17 isn't ancient for a dog. This can and will, gods willing, go on for years ... and while missing out on two vacations isn't a big deal at all, I think you might feel deprived if this went on for a long time.

So maybe stay home this time, see if you can find someone in the neighborhood who's responsible, or an animal lover, or best of all, both, whom you can observe with Casper and get to trust ... and then maybe by next Christmas you'll feel better about the prospect of going away for a night or three?

 

[Matata]

Kaleigh darlin', I am biased about this issue so take my humble opinion with a grain of salt. I believe that we are gifted with the souls with whom we share our lives -- be it our children, our friends, relatives, and companion animals. In most cases adults are able to make choices about what is best for them and take appropriate measures and make informed decisions. Not so with our companion animals -- they are at the mercy of their caretakers. Who they trust and how they come to choose them has always been a mystery to me but I believe that when animals depend on me, it is equally about them and me. Based on what I know from following you here for years, I believe the need for you to stay with your animals is a decision that the universe (as politically/religiously benign as I can get) has made in your best interests as well as your animals'.

Short answer -- you get a pass. Stay with the animals.

 

[Matata]

P.S. Luv ya.

 

[Blackpaw]

Matata put it so well, Kaleigh, pass from me too. But no matter what do what your gut instinct tells you to...

 

[happybear]

Kaleigh, *hugs*

I so sorry to hear of your current situation. Like the others, I too think that it may be better to stay home with Casper for awhile.

But I totally understand your need to get away. It's just that should anything happens to Casper (*touch wood*) while you are away, you will be guilt-ridden and feel totally miserable.......

Hope you find a super dog sitter soon whom Casper will totally be comfortable with.

 

[afreebird]

Pass, without a doubt! Your babies are lucky to have such a good mom. I know it must stink to pass on another vacation, but it sounds like Casper really needs you. Big, big hugs to both of you!

 

[risingsun]

Stay with your precious pets, Lisa. At this point, they need you and you need them. You absolutely get a free pass.

 

[Missy]

Kaleigh darlin', I am biased about this issue so take my humble opinion with a grain of salt. I believe that we are gifted with the souls with whom we share our lives -- be it our children, our friends, relatives, and companion animals. In most cases adults are able to make choices about what is best for them and take appropriate measures and make informed decisions. Not so with our companion animals -- they are at the mercy of their caretakers. Who they trust and how they come to choose them has always been a mystery to me but I believe that when animals depend on me, it is equally about them and me. Based on what I know from following you here for years, I believe the need for you to stay with your animals is a decision that the universe (as politically/religiously benign as I can get) has made in your best interests as well as your animals'.

Short answer -- you get a pass. Stay with the animals.

I agree with this Kaleigh 100%. They are your family.

 

[kelpie]

I think a live in sitter would be a good compromise, especially if you can get someone they know and like.

 

[Catmom]

Kaleigh, I think you get a pass on this. It's only for three days and if you went you know you would be worrying the entire time. That kind of stress has to be very bad for your health! I say stay home and love on your babies.

 

[JewelFreak]

Kaleigh, you good girl, your gut is telling you to stay w/Casper. Listen to it. Every time I've ignored that, I've been sorry. At 17 he's a 105-yr-old man! Dogs get incredibly dependent emotionally when they're old -- always amazes me how my most independent ball-busting young dogs have become needy & through-&-through sweet in their old age.

So, pass from here -- talk to Casper, he'll tell you what he wants. Maybe he already did, last time. I have a 13-yr-old Siberian who is the same, and physically rickety due to a ruptured spinal disc -- I won't leave him anymore.

They give us everything they have to give. We gotta give back. Much love to you both & admiration for your sensitivity!

--- Laurie

 

[Efe]

I would end up staying home because I would be so concerned about them the whole time. One of my dogs is very much like Casper in that he is extremely attached to me. Follows me around the house like my own little secret service and gets depressed when he sees me put my coat on to go out. We ended up finding a wonderful lady who comes and stays with them whenever we go away.

Is there a vet tech or someone else at your vet's office that you would trust to come and stay? Maybe not this time, but for the future. You could maybe try a test overnighter or something. I feel for you 'cause I know how tough it is because you love them so much.

 

[shihtzulover]

I would end up staying home because I would be so concerned about them the whole time. One of my dogs is very much like Casper in that he is extremely attached to me. Follows me around the house like my own little secret service and gets depressed when he sees me put my coat on to go out. We ended up finding a wonderful lady who comes and stays with them whenever we go away.

Is there a vet tech or someone else at your vet's office that you would trust to come and stay? Maybe not this time, but for the future. You could maybe try a test overnighter or something. I feel for you 'cause I know how tough it is because you love them so much.

My dog is really attached to me, too. Every time I would put on my coat and start gathering my things to go to work, his little ears would droop, and he would hide under the table. Sometimes, he would switch it up and try to show me a toy - I guess to distract me so that I wouldn't leave. I always felt so horrible and guilty.

Right now, I'm unemployed, but he still gets a little bit sad when I leave, even though I usually only leave to run errands for a few hours. He freaks out and gets sooo excited when I get home, like he hasn't seen me in ages.

Anyway, Kaleigh, if I were you, I would stay home with him. If I were to go, I would just be worried the whole time, and I wouldn't be able to relax or enjoy myself. Since he got so sick the last time that you left, I would worry that it would happen again this time.

Like has already been said, this could go on for awhile. I'm not sure how you feel about having to do this during future family trips. You should definitely do what your heart tells you, though.

I wish you and Casper the best!

 

[dragonfly411]

Kaleigh - I would stay home. I think that these animals do end up depending on us to a degree. We are their alphas, their group leaders if you will, and their family. I think if you left and something happened you'd always wonder if there were something you could have done differently. Sending hugs your way!

 

[stci]

I can't give you any help about your question but I want to say you're an angel.

If I were near you, I would like to take Casper with me, on my heart, for you. I'm addict to dog and I love them unconditionally. I would like to take care of your baby with pleasure.

((HUGS)) and I hope you will find a good person for Casper.

 

[davi_el_mejor]

If I were you with a 17 year old dog, I'd stay home too! Your family sounds very understanding and I am sure they realize you're taking care of Family. IMO You get as many passes as you want for him. HUGS

I'm the kind of guy who spent $145 for veterinary care on a guinea pig, I'm a little attached to my companion animals. So take my advice with a grain of salt

 

[kenny]

All things considered, I'm in the stay-at-home-camp too.

 

[movie zombie]

i wouldn't even consider going. at this age, your dear pet doesn't have a lot more time. he has earned having you there with him to the end.

MoZo

 

[decodelighted]

First of all ... if you feel you must stay home, by all means: do it. But I wanted to try to give you some suggestions to think about for this or future times.

1) Call your vet's office. Find out if any of the staffers do in-home care. My vet's office has one tech who is just above college age who stays over at people's houses when they are away. You'd probably feel a bit more secure if there was a medical professional who could call you if things take a turn for the worse or might have more experience pepping up old pups.

2) Does your daughter have any friends still in the area who are living in uncomfie apartments & might want a weekend "upgrade" to your place? I have a friend out in LA who is a very in-demand house/pet sitter even though she has a full time job. She spends all her other time with the pets & sends pix & email updates etc

I will admit that when my husband & I left our cats & pup at home with two family friends (both long-time pet owners) ... and in the 3 1/2 days we were gone they didn't notice that one of our cats was going downhill quickly in the final stages of renal failure that no one knew she had. She passed less than 36 hours upon our return. Here's the thing ... according to the vets there's nothing they (or we) could have done at that point. But, had I known, obviously I'd have rather spent her final days WITH her than on vacation.

We've been on vacation since ... and did a combo of stay-at-our-house pet sitter + taking our pup to a different friend's house for "sleepaway camp" ... but if we were at the 17 year mark with any of them, I'm not sure what I'd do! Trying to figure out right now if I should accompany DH on a biz trip to Vegas (never been). The hangup, as always, our furry beloveds. Relationships with PEOPLE need to be nurtured ALSO. It is a quandry! HUGS!!!!

 

[Imdanny]

It's just my opinion but I think it is 100% ok for you to stay home with your dog. Pets are amazingly sensitive as you know. My cat was separated from SO (as was I) for seven months recently due to his work and when she and I moved, the minute she was reunited with him, she was back to her old self. She had been very confused and upset when he left, and depressed the whole time he wasn't with her. They bonded in the shelter when he picked her up and she licked his ear. She loves me and depends on me to care for her, but there is no relationship she has, or ever could have, that compares to the relationship the two of them have. This has made me think very seriously about all the times people have told me that pets don't have a long memory and will forget the people they love, get used to new people taking care of them, and so on. I've had a seven month demonstration of just how untrue this is, at least in the case of my cat. My thing about the cat is that I want her to have the best life possible, and this means not only do I want her to have the things I provide her (food, etc.) but that I want her to suffer as little as possible. I would take care of my dog, and not feel guilty about it. People can understand the reasons behind not meeting, being separated, etc. Some pets, at least, can not.

 

[lulu]

I also feel absolutely stressed out when I have to leave the babes home alone even with a live-in sitter. I'd stay home.

 

[TooPatient]

You are such a wonderful doggie-mom!

I think you can have as many passes as you need to take care of your dog - He is family!

Checking with your vet is a great idea. You might also check with the people you get your pet-supplies from. (the ladies who run the little shop we go to sometimes stay with people's animals and they know some other great people if they aren't available).

FI & I skipped camping for a year (2?) so we could be home with our animals (especially our older cat). The others could have gone to the pet hotel we use (they LOVE it there), but our older kitty had gotten to where she needed US constantly. I also took more than a week off of work through her last year with us so that she wouldn't have to be alone on her bad days.

Animals are part of our family too. You do what you need to do to make them happy & comfortable.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Like everyone else, I agree that it'd be better for you and Casper if you stayed home. He needs you and you want to be with him!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Gosh, such a tough one, Lisa! I like Deco's idea of calling the vet to see if there is someone who'd care for him when you have trips even if you can't work it out this time. I'd hate for you to be housebound for months and miss special times with your precious husband and children!

 

[NovemberBride]

Kaleigh,

I think it is absolutely ok for you to stay home if that is what you feel you should do. However, as others have said, god willing your dear animals will live for many more years. If you are willing to not take any vacations for the foreseeable future, that is a perfectly valid choice to make, but it may not be what you want to do. If it does come up in the future that you need somewhere for him to stay, I have a suggestion for you. I believe from past posts that we live in the same general area outside Philadelphia. We have a wonderful dog walker whom our dog stays with when we go on vacation. We tried several different boarding kennels in the area and we weren't happy with the level of care at any of them. Our dog was a rescue and he has serious stranger anxiety and wouldn't eat well while we were gone and generally wasn't himself for a few days. We haven't had those problems since he started going to the walker's house. Our dog walker is wonderful, she picks him up at our house and brings him back so that he is there when we arrive home. If at some point you are interested, I would be more than happy to have admin put us in touch and give you her name.

 

[mayerling]

Is there anyway you could take them with you when you go on vacation?

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I think you should stay home with Casper, especially because it seems like you will worry too much while being away.

But I do think you should look into the others suggestions, for the future. What if Casper lives several more years, and by the time he passes your other dog gets to be elderly and dependent too. I worry that you will miss family trips and holidays for years and years.

Your pups are lucky to have you and I'm not trying to critisize at all. I know this is a difficult situation to be in.

 

[Kaleigh]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond and give me suggestions. My first thing was to ask the Vet, I have been there the past 2 weeks with Callie. They don't have anyone that will stay at the house with them.

DD's friends work very long hours and work in the city so that's out....

I'm taking a pass on this trip.

This summer they will be able to come with us, we fly on a private plane... I know very spoiled, but getting to ACK is a nightmare on a good day, and split the cost with friends who go back and forth like we do....