If you were invited to a wedding w/out your children

[Shoopy]

And the wedding is 4 hours away, would you attend?

 

[Miranda]

I voted no, but, I guess the answer is maybe - but - mostly no. Indecisive enough for you?

I don''t have anyone to comfortably leave my kids with and be four hours away. If my sister or BIL were getting married and having a no kids wedding I''d bring them (not to the wedding) and find a sitter in that area for the wedding. Or, it''s possible that I would go alone or DH would go alone. If we are talking about a not so close friend we would not go.

 

[NuiX]

I can totally respect someone else''s wishes to have their day be THEIR day. Exactly 100% how they would want it and if that''s baby/children free, so be it. Children, whilst they can be cute, can also be extremely disruptive and often are not used to being at formal functions.

As far as it being 4 hours away, I''d have to really love someone to attend with or without my children! That''s quite a hike! I suppose it would depend if I felt I was there to help fill the church pews or if I was truly wanted there by the bride or groom. If I feel I''m invited for the gift I''ll give (and I give great gifts!) or to fill the pews then I have in the past turned down invitations.


Wait... is it 4 hours by plane to a tropical paradise? ... count me in!

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 8/20/2008 6:13:50 PM
Author: NuiX
Wait... is it 4 hours by plane to a tropical paradise? ... count me in!

Does by car to Miami count

?

I ask because my FI has no children in his family (youngest is 15). My family is filled with children. We''ve already decided not to invite OOT cousins and only local cousins. The three that are local (four hours away) each have 3 children. My FI wants adults only (not even teens). Besides these three cousins, no one would else would be bringing children. I really want them there as I grew up with them but I''m not sure about the kids. I would also like it to be just adults since we''re short on cash and have limited space. Of the 9, three are in their teens and the rest are less than 3 years old.

Problem is that my cousins don''t have sitters. They have grandma. And grandma is my Godmother. She will be at the wedding.

I haven''t decided what I want to do yet but was just wondering if people would still go or not.

 

[VegasAngel]

As long as I had someone to watch my daughter I would go. I''d be happy to not have to bring her, she is too young.


I took my 2yo daughter to a wedding in May & I really regretted it-She was a runaway flower girl- I''m pretty sure my cousin & his wife regretted including children at their wedding after some problems between kids & parents

Is it even reomotely possible to have a private room/area at the wedding location or your home where someone can watch the kiddos?

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 8/20/2008 6:58:36 PM
Author: VegasAngel
As long as I had someone to watch my daughter I would go. I''d be happy to not have to bring her, she is too young.


I took my 2yo daughter to a wedding in May & I really regretted it-She was a runaway flower girl- I''m pretty sure my cousin & his wife regretted including children at their wedding after some problems between kids & parents

Is it even reomotely possible to have a private room/area at the wedding location or your home where someone can watch the kiddos?

That''s what I was thinking. Maybe I can find a sitter for the really young kids.

I don''t have a problem with children being anywhere in general but for weddings I just think everyone enjoys themselves more (especially the parents) when they don''t have to worry about the children. Plus, if we do have an evening ceremony I wouldn''t want my cousins to go, eat, and then leave because the kids are tired. I would like them there. They''re my crazy dance partners

LOL

 

[VegasAngel]

Oh yes you are exactly right, I dont particularly enjoy kids & weddings & that includes mine. I tried to tell my cousin she was too young to be a flower girl & I didnt want to take her but they insisted.

If they behave it's ok but you never know the younger they are the harder it is to keep them happy.

You could have one or two people hang out at the home or room with the kids. You can pick up crayons, coloring books, a few cheap toys from the $ store to keep them entertained.

 

[NuiX]

I think that your cousins would be overjoyed that you considered their brood (9!) when planning your big day. The fact that you're considering not only your needs but your guests needs is awesome!

If you have a daytime wedding I'd see if you could get someone to volunteer to take the kids to a park or the beach during the wedding. If you're having it at night, I'd suggest the same thing only with a movie or some such and possibly providing a place for the kids to sleep until their parents are done gettin' their party on!

I think the hardest part will be finding someone suitably responsible to watch the kids (maybe the spouse of one of your cousins would volunteer?). I probably wouldn't find a room or area within your wedding venue as it seems somewhat ungracious to lock your cousins kids up for a night they won't enjoy... not to mention trying to keep them contained will most likely occupy a few of your guests/their parents.


And yes, Miami counts. When can I expect my invitation?

 

[VegasAngel]

Date: 8/20/2008 7:32:00 PM
Author: NuiX
I think that your cousins would be overjoyed that you considered their brood (9!) when planning your big day. The fact that you''re considering not only your needs but your guests needs is awesome!

If you have a daytime wedding I''d see if you could get someone to volunteer to take the kids to a park or the beach during the wedding. If you''re having it at night, I''d suggest the same thing only with a movie or some such and possibly providing a place for the kids to sleep until their parents are done gettin'' their party on!

I think the hardest part will be finding someone suitably responsible to watch the kids (maybe the spouse of one of your cousins would volunteer?). I probably wouldn''t find a room or area within your wedding venue as it seems somewhat ungracious to lock your cousins kids up for a night they won''t enjoy... not to mention trying to keep them contained will most likely occupy a few of your guests/their parents.


And yes, Miami counts. When can I expect my invitation?

Ungracious? The parents should be gracious she is accomodating their children. I went to wedding here in Vegas that was at Club Rain. The bride & groom rented a room just for kids-they couldnt be in the club at all even for a private function. I dont know anyone who didnt go because their kid couldnt attend the actual wedding/reception.

 

[NuiX]

Ungracious? The parents should be gracious she is accomodating their children. I went to wedding here in Vegas that was at Club Rain. The bride & groom rented a room just for kids-they couldnt be in the club at all even for a private function. I dont know anyone who didnt go because their kid couldnt attend the actual wedding/reception.

It''s simply an opinion and one you don''t have to agree with I know people who would rather go to a wedding with their kids in the same building and would appreciate and use your suggestion. I, however, would prefer having the children elsewhere and away from the revelry. Although, it does sound like the Vegas wedding did have the children at a separate location or outside the venue where the reception took place, which is what I suggested.

 

[VegasAngel]

Rain nightclub is at the Palms Hotel which is where they rented the room to keep the kiddos. During the reception if a parent wanted they could go up & check on their child. The kids all had a great time since they had games & other activites. Good sitters help too

 

[MichelleCarmen]

YES!!! I'd love to get away from my kids for a whole day! lol My MIL would watch them and that'd leave DH and me to relax, enjoy the wedding, and have a few drinks!

eta - If the wedding is "no kids," I do think it'd be highly appropriate for some sort of child care provided by the wedding hosts to be sure that everyone can attend and doesn't have to worry about who is going to watch their kids.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 8/20/2008 6:26:30 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Does by car to Miami count

?

I ask because my FI has no children in his family (youngest is 15). My family is filled with children. We've already decided not to invite OOT cousins and only local cousins. The three that are local (four hours away) each have 3 children. My FI wants adults only (not even teens). Besides these three cousins, no one would else would be bringing children. I really want them there as I grew up with them but I'm not sure about the kids. I would also like it to be just adults since we're short on cash and have limited space. Of the 9, three are in their teens and the rest are less than 3 years old.

Problem is that my cousins don't have sitters. They have grandma. And grandma is my Godmother. She will be at the wedding.

I haven't decided what I want to do yet but was just wondering if people would still go or not.

As I said just above before I read this post, you should set up staff to provide child care.

 

[Sabine]

I didn''t vote because I don''t have kids, but I wanted to let you know that at my wedding, a bunch of my coworkers were invited, but not their kids (although their kids are all somewhat older, like 7-13), and a group left their kids and husbands at home and came out themselves. But from your other thread, I think if they were family members, they would have been less likely to come without their kids.

 

[Haven]

I don''t have children, but I imagine that my decision would depend on my affection for the couple. If I cared very deeply about them, yes, I would attend the wedding. If we were good acquaintances, I''d likely stay home with my kiddos.

 

[neatfreak]

Depends on who it was. Best friends? Yes. Acquaintances? No. But then again if they were acquaintances I doubt I would travel 4 hours for their wedding regardless of kids being invited! I hate traveling sometimes.

 

[sna77]

Our wedding was no children allowed. It was a black tie wedding on a Saturday night--clearly not the environment for children and we did not want it to be a baby fest. Only 2 people asked, and we kindly explained that if we let their kid come then everyone else would want to also. No one had an issue with this and most looked at it as a chance to have a nice "date" night between themselves...

Oh, we also had space requirements... Our venue held 225, and we had to cut people to make that... I can''t cut a second cousin from the guest list so that you can bring your kid... Plus at $225/ head or whatever...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I think it isn't ALWAYS that easy to leave your kids behind in an OOT wedding. Funny how the really *strong* responses are from those who do not have children

If the mother is BFing forget about it. If there is no way to get a sitter...what are they suppose to do?!? We just went to a wedding in vegas and I told my friend if babies were not allowed I would understand but then we wouldn't be going. Wasn't a big deal for her. She wanted ME there so she invited us as a family. Oh and Sna, ALL venues do offer a "kid's dinner" at a MUCH lower price. My baby didn't have dinner (obviously) so they were out no extra money. Yes, "date" nights are fun but no sitter...no dates.

If you are okay with them not coming and don't want kids...do no kids. But you can not take offense if they don't come b/c traveling is hard enough w/o kids involved.

ETA: 4 hour drive requires overnight stay which adds to the trouble of finding childcare.

 

[Linda W]

I voted yes, even though I am a grandmother now. My mom and dad always babysat for me. I was very lucky. I always babysit for my daughter now. I love it. She could go away for a month and I wouldn''t care, tee hee.



Linda

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 8/20/2008 9:50:26 PM
Author: Linda W
I voted yes, even though I am a grandmother now. My mom and dad always babysat for me. I was very lucky. I always babysit for my daughter now. I love it. She could go away for a month and I wouldn''t care, tee hee.




Linda

Linda, can you adopt me?!?

 

[Linda W]

YES YES YES Tacori, as long as cutie pie Tessa comes too!!!!

Linda

 

[sna77]

Date: 8/20/2008 9:41:16 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
. Oh and Sna, ALL venues do offer a ''kid''s dinner'' at a MUCH lower price. My baby didn''t have dinner (obviously) so they were out no extra money. Yes, ''date'' nights are fun but no sitter...no dates.

If you are okay with them not coming and don''t want kids...do no kids. But you can not take offense if they don''t come b/c traveling is hard enough w/o kids involved.

I didn''t realize that they offered the lower prices for kids... But, as you mentioned though--many people want no kids--as we did, and were willing to accecpt that a few people might not be able to come if they couldn''t find a sitter...

Now that I think of it... The hotel we had everyone stay at had a sitter service... For everyone that travelled, the hotel offered sitting services... 2 people actually used it I believe...

 

[musey]

Date: 8/20/2008 6:13:50 PM
Author: NuiX
As far as it being 4 hours away, I'd have to really love someone to attend with or without my children!

I put "maybe" and this is why.

I don't have children yet, but I think my attendance will always be 80% how much I care and 20% how (in)convenient it is, kids or no.

 

[Cind11]

I voted maybe because sometimes when my kids were little it was difficult for me to go that far and find someone to watch them. But I definitely see nothing wrong with not including children at a wedding. I have been to some weddings where the children have driven me crazy!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

sna, I am not sure how comfortable I would be leaving my baby with a sitter who I have never met or isn''t referred by someone I knew. Anyways the OP asked if you would go if your kids were not invited. Unless Linda W came down to stay with her we probably wouldn''t.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 8/20/2008 10:53:07 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
sna, I am not sure how comfortable I would be leaving my baby with a sitter who I have never met or isn''t referred by someone I knew. Anyways the OP asked if you would go if your kids were not invited. Unless Linda W came down to stay with her we probably wouldn''t.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I would LOVE too, but....... I am afraid she would be a bit spoiled by the time you returned

Linda

 

[Elmorton]

Don''t have kids quite yet, but since it''s hypothetical, I figured I could still give a hypothetical answer (which was maybe). For me, it depends on whose wedding it is - close friend or family, then yes, if I could find an overnight sitter whom I trusted, I''d go. Otherwise, I''d probably stay at home. Also would depend on the children''s ages.

 

[Pandora II]

90% of our wedding guests were OOT - minimum 2.5 hours.

I said yes to babies under a year and no to any others except overseas. Everyone was quite happy about it. One person''s babysitter pulled out at the last moment and as they were family so grandparents etc were all at the wedding I told them to bring them anyway.

I wanted as child-free a wedding as possible - also my family all breed like rabbits and there were a potential 25 under 10''s. With a 120 max guest list, I wasn''t going to put someone''s 4 year old over our friends.

If the parents decided not to attend because of this - well, I was sad - but understanding.

 

[LaraOnline]

I voted maybe... if I''ve got a rock-solid sitter (and I''ve only ONE person in mind...)

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 8/20/2008 7:01:43 PM
Plus, if we do have an evening ceremony I wouldn''t want my cousins to go, eat, and then leave because the kids are tired. I would like them there. They''re my crazy dance partners

LOL

I think if you do have an evening ceremony, you should consider a ''no children'' policy, or a ''only children over age of..'' policy, because (depending on the child) your best friends could pack up and leave at 8pm!!!
Personally, I would take my kids and party until dawn (if I could settle them safely) because my daughter(aged three) is a party animal and my son (aged nearly 2) is a gorgeous acquiescent flower, and would go to sleep anywhere.