If you suspect your partner is cheating...

[Kelli]

I''ve never snooped and I doubt I ever will. I''m also pretty close to positive that I''ve never been cheated on. I recently had a conversation with a girl who said she''d much rather suspect her husband of cheating when he wasn''t then to not know if he was. I feel the exact opposite of that. I''d rather trust someone wrongly then drive them to cheat because I was constantly snooping and nagging. I know I couldn''t put up with a boyfriend/husband who did that, so I''d never want to be that kind of girlfriend or wife.

 

[soocool]

If I ever suspected that my DH were cheating I would just come right out and ask him. I know my Dh well enough that he can''t lie to me. That is why no one ever lets him plan any surprises... he can''t keep a poker face.

I just find the direct method better suited to my personality.

 

[tlh]

Date: 12/2/2009 7:17:35 PM
Author: thing2of2
If I suspected something was up I would snoop, and I wouldn''t be shy about admitting that I snooped, either. If you find evidence why not bring it up? Cheating is much worse than snooping, in my opinion.

That said, I''m not a snooper and I don''t check my husband''s phone or e-mail account. He''s actually terrible at lying and feels overly guilty about pointless stuff, so I would probably know immediately if he cheated on me without snooping. And if I asked him to his face and he lied, I''m positive I would be able to tell.

yup... and I''d probably PRINT off the emails, and lay them spawled out all over the bed with a Giant highlighter "?" over the entire page. And All my stuff would be GONE... or HIS stuff would be conviently already boxed up for him.... depending on our situation.

I wouldn''t lie about my snooping.... and honestly when kids and family are involved, it may change my position... but it that happens, you gotta respect yourself first... whatever brought you to the information... there it is... Can''t deny the black and white. And once the trust is broken and the sanctity of the marriage is destroyed, I couldn''t get over that. It take a long time for me to forgive that betrayal, but I would - only because the misery would destry MY LIFE - not the person who has already moved on... with another. But I highly doubt I''d ever get back with that person - the relationship was over.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 12/2/2009 6:37:43 PM
Author: fiery
I wonder about the concept of asking flat out if he is or isn''t.

What man would admit it? I''ve never heard/met a cheater that admitted it as soon as the question was brought up. The ones I have heard of/know of have always been caught and when they are caught, they deny deny deny until there is hard evidence in front of them that they just can''t deny anymore.

ETA: Before DF comes in and ask, yes women can and do cheat also

yea,but if they were confronted by their husband would they admit it? HECK NO!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 12/2/2009 7:10:25 PM
Author: fiery

Side story: my ex-bf''s ''wife'' found out he was cheating on her with me (I didn''t know) when she got an anon note from someone (so she claims) and went snooping before approaching him. His phone was clean but she decided to search his car and found another phone taped under the seat.

Idiot...or maybe genius?

so you was thee "other woman"?