Home If you struggle with your weight, do you let the numbers get to you?

[Sabine]

I was a size 6 all through college. Although I never felt particularly skinny, I do remember being happy with myself and the way I looked, and with the way things fit me. After college I gained some weight, and it took me a while to realize that if I bought clothes in a size 8, they fit much better. It wasn''t that hard for me to accept that I had gone up a size and buy clothes in the larger size. But then I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem (hyperactive), and my whole eating routine changed, and once the problem was resolved I gained a good bit more weight. My clothes started fitting differently. But for some reason, I had a really hard time going up from an 8 to a 10 in size. When I went to stores, I would try on 8''s, and then be really frustrated if they didn''t fit right. Or I would tell myself that they fit okay and buy them, and then be really frustrated when the waist dug into me. So eventually I did start buying 10''s. And for this past year, I''ve pretty much accepted that I am now a size 10. That is the size I try on, and that is the size I buy. I''m not really happy with it, but I''ve accepted it.

Well, this weekend Old Navy had a huge sale on jeans. I was very excited because I don''t buy jeans often since I teach from Sept.-May and only wear them on the weekends, not much even then cause I like to look nice if we go out. But since they were so cheap, I decided to treat myself, and I tried on 3 different styles and colors, all in a size 10. Two of the styles fit great, but the one style that was more form-fitting and with a lower waist were too tight and made me uncomfortable. But I was really annoyed since that style was in the shade that I wanted most. I even went and asked a sales girl if the other styles came in that shade, but they didn''t. I felt really conflicted, as stupid as that was. I really wanted that shade of jeans, but the 10''s didn''t fit! Eventually I gave in and tried on a 12. And they fit, and looked really nice. So before I could think about it, I bought them.

If you made it through all that, here''s my problem. Even though the jeans look good, and even though I''m the only one who needs to know the size, in my head, all I can think is that they are a 12. And I don''t want to wear them, because I don''t want to be a 12. So they are sitting in my drawer, and I really can''t bring myself to wear them. I feel crazy. Ever since I was a teen and I had some issues with anorexia, I''ve tried really hard to have a healthy relationship with my body, my diet, and my self-image. So I''m really disappointed in myself that I''m letting this get to me. I know the number shouldn''t matter, and I know that that style of jeans probably even runs small since I fit into the other size 10''s, but I really don''t want to wear those jeans!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Sabine - I know exactly how you feel. I had a baby eight weeks ago and I''m struggling with my post-pregnancy body. I''ve always been skinny - just luck I guess. But now I''ve got some curves (?) and shopping is a nightmare to me. I had the same jeans issue as you. I tried on a size bigger than my regular size and was totally bummed when they didn''t fit. I tried on two sizes than my regular size and they fit, but I feel....ummmm....like a cow buying them even though I know that I''m not anywhere near fat or overweight.

Sigh. I wish I had some words of advice but I don''t. Just know that you''re not the only one out there that feels the way you do. Hey - you can always just blame the manufacturer for putting the wrong label in your jeans!

Diva

 

[AmberGretchen]

Well, first let me say, aside from any psychological stuff, that clothing sizing is WEIRD these days. Like seriously odd. So many places vanity size that its hard to know how things will fit from store to store at all any more.

Also, the manufacturing is so inconsistent these days that even in a given brand and style, sizes can vary based on color or season or whatever. A good example would be the dress pants I got at Banana Republic a couple of months ago. I got them in taupe and in black. The taupe fit great in one size, had a nice relaxed drape to them, and are very comfortable. So I grabbed the EXACT same style in black. Didn''t fit at all. Had to go up one size, and even then, they don''t fit as nicely as the taupe ones (but the next size up was too big, and I already had a matching jacket).

Aside from that, yes, I think we all (or most of us anyway) have issues with sizing and self esteem and weight. I know I''ve struggled with my weight for years. I''ve finally, in the last year and a half or so, gotten down to a weight where I feel like I can maintain but am still healthy. I would still love to be smaller, but I don''t know if that will happen.

But I struggled so hard to get here, that if I go to a store and try something on and need a bigger size than usual, I am immediately paranoid that maybe I am gaining the weight back. Ridiculous, right?

I don''t have an answer or solution for you (believe me, I wish I did!), and this is kind of long and rambling, but I will say that one thing that keeps me honest without stressing me out too much is having 2-3 favorite pairs of pants (either jeans or something fairly fitted without too much stretch like khakis or cords). I know those fit me and are comfortable, and so when they start to feel a little snug, I try to cut back a bit on what I''m eating and maybe hit the gym an extra time or two over the next couple of weeks. Like I said, not a profound, ideal solution, but it does help to remind me that whatever the tag says on the pants (or blouse, or dress, or whatever) I just bought say, I haven''t changed, and it really is the sizing, not me.

 

[cara]

Can you cut the tag out?

As you have more serious eating disorder history than I hesitate to recommend too much, but whatever works for you to help you be OK with your jeans and your body is what you should do. You could just blame the jean - it runs small - but that doesn''t work for all people. You could also focus on looking good in this jean vs. looking smushed into a smaller jean - trust me, sqeezing into something too small is a great way to look big even if you get the "right" number!

It certainly can suck to adapt to a new size number, but there is something to be said for putting it out of your head and accepting what is and concentrating on getting stuff that fits. Even if you want to healthily work out and lose weight, you still need stuff to wear now and it is better it look good and fit you well now than sit unworn in your closet b/c it is for when you are back to "your" size.

I had to suck it up and buy new pants last winter as I fit in very few of my old ones - and once I got used to wearing them I felt so much better as I had choices and options! Whereas before I was always worried about my limited wardrobe of clothes that I could still fit into. And I might not be back into the old clothes yet - but the new ones are looser and its a great feeling not to worry (about the muffin top or other issue)!

 

[decodelighted]

I''m not one to talk as 12 would be my GOAL size

... but I''m gonna pretend for you that I work in the fashion biz and that one of the biggest problems we have is wrong size labels getting put into clothes.

It''s CRAZY how many times I find 20''s in mine when I''m SURE I''m a 14.

But seriously, I think its human to resist the "next size up" ... HOWEVER, what counts is how the clothes LOOK on you. Too tight will make you look bigger. Would you rather look bigger knowing you''re wearing a 10, or look thinner & deal with the size 12? People can hide a lot of sins with flattering, properly cut attire!!

 

[Shoopy]

I have been overweight my entire life. I ranged from a size 18 to a size 22. It wasn’t until my 20s and moving to Miami when I realized that I really needed to lose weight. I lived in a smaller town before then and no one ever said anything to me and body image wasn’t a big deal. But in the land of bikinis and models, its hard to ignore that you are 20 sizes bigger than the norm. Anyway, I started losing weight and have been going down but very slowly. Once I got to 16, I vowed never to get to 18 again. There was a period…probably a month or 2…where my size 16s were snug and I knew that the 18s in my closet would fit better. I still didn’t wear them.

I’m in a 14 now. And guess what…I refuse to wear my size 16 pants. The 16s still look good on me...they fit loose but not falling off. I only have about 6 work pants that are a size 14 and those are the work pants that I wear every day to work. So yes, I have major issues with the numbers.

My goal size is a 10. If I can get to a 10 and maintain, I’ll be a very happy girl.

 

[dragonfly411]

First I have to mention that different styles sometimes fit differently. I currently bounce between a 5-7 and with some tighter styles a 9. I don''t have a problem with it as I am at a healthy weight for my size. I WAS unhappy as a 12, and did something about it. So if you aren''t happy with your WEIGHT and your body doesn''t feel healthy, then I would do something about it

 

[Rhea]

My mother struggles with this. I know the numbers get to her a lot. She'd rather buy a 16 or 18 than a 1x.

We really should re-do the sizing. Size 0 is just silly and it'd make more sense if the sizes were steady across designers.

 

[Skippy123]

Well, maybe I can shed a little light on the sizes. Not sure. Not all 8 are 8''s and not all 10''s are 10''s; that is why it is so important to try clothes on. I worked in retail and one size 10 would be a size 12 or a 12 would be a 10. things are so mass produced; that they put stacks of material together and then bring down something that cuts them. The ones at the bottom are going to be cut a bit differently then the ones on top; it is like taking a stack of papers and cutting 5 of them together, so they won''t be perfect. Not sure if that answers your questions but don''t feel bad about the 12 because they might really be a 10. I guess measure yourself with a measuring tape and keeps those measurements on hand because going by stores clothing will drive a person mad.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Remember how on Seinfeld Jerry scratched out the "2" on his size "32" waist jeans and wrote in a "1" instead? Perhaps this is the solution for you!

All joking aside, I agree that it''s soooo much better to wear clothes that you feel you like nice in than to squeeze yourself into too tight clothes. AmberGretchen is right that sizes vary so much from store to store these days, and even stuff made by the same store can vary. Most of my stuff is Ann Taylor/AT Loft and I have shorts or pants that fit me in a smaller petite size, then some in a larger size (one size bigger plus not petite, so that is like adding half a size) that are too tight. Can''t figure that out.

I wouldn''t sweat it. You look great in the jeans. You''re still you inside there. Think about it this way: if the jeans were labelled size 8 instead of size 12, it would still be you. You wouldn''t actually be any skinnier just because you bought a funky-sized pair of pants. It works the same when it''s a size up too. And we know it was funky sizing since those other two styles fit you in the 10s.

 

[julabean]

I have in my closet at home at this very moment three pairs of different styles and/or brands of pants/capris. 8, 10, 12. If I lie them on my bed, right on top of each other, they are the exact same "size." Two of those pants are the same brand. There is no rhyme, there is no reason.

I hadn''t thought about ripping the tag out, but when I go shopping for new pants (which will need to be soon!), I might try that. I know the number is hard to get past, but ultimately the way the pants look is definitely more important than the number on the tiny tag.

 

[Deelight]

The people who size clothing are seriously stooofed in the head, I can vary as much as 3 sizes from one store to another or within the same store there is no logic or reason, for me it is better to get something that fits well because you look better.

I find if you track your measurements you will feel better, weight like clothing size is an arbitrary number that means nothing two people can weigh the same but vary greatly in size.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Oh Sabine, I'm right there with you! While I have learned to buy whatever size of something really does fit me best, when I reach a certain size number it does kick me in the a$$ to start dieting or working out again. As for consistency in sizing across brands -- there ain't none! It bugs the he!! out of me. The only place I can even remotely order from on line and have things fit is Talbots, and even that can be a crap shoot.

ETA: I was just up folding laundry and I have a pair of 12s in one style of pants that are skin tight, and a pair of 10s in another style that I need a belt to keep from falling right off me. Both from Ann Taylor.

 

[MMMD]

I don''t think you should measure on new jeans. If you have jeans that fit 2 months ago that don''t fit now, yes you are gaining weight. But not every style fits everyone''s body. I cannot fit well into Old Navy Jeans because I don''t have much of a waist and I find that I have to go up in size and then the butt is too big. If you are uncomfortable with your current weight, the best thing to do is consume healthier calories and step up the exercise. But do not beat yourself up. Life is too short!!

 

[Haven]

I''m definitely affected by the numbers, I totally feel you, Sabine. I thought of that Seinfeld episode the minute I read this post, too.

I was super fit and thin in high school because I was an athlete. I was probably a size 4 or 6, I can''t even remember because I was in HS in the 90s so we wore all that horrible grunge clothing. Most of my jeans were second-hand and in terrible condition. I was lucky if they even had tags in them.

Anyway . . . I gained a lot of weight my freshman year in college and realized that my pants would no longer fit over my thighs. It was horrible. So I went to buy new pants, and they were size 12. That made me nearly hysterical, because I was so thin in HS, so I started working out and drinking less beer, and slowly lost the weight. I do the same thing as Fiery where I refused to go back up a size once I fit into a smaller sizes at my favorite stores. It''s pretty good motivation to keep being healthy.

I''m between a 6 and a 10 now depending on the store (LOVE Cache''s sizing!), but I''ll admit--I''m much quicker to buy a pair of pants if they''re a size 6, that''s for sure.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I am at the low end of the spectrum and except for a medication problem a few years ago, I have stayed very consistant in size. When I started buying adult sized clothes in middle school, I was a 4 and a small. I thought nothing of it. By my junior year of high school, I was a 2 and an extra small. By my freshman year of college, I was a 0. Recently, I had to buy some 00 pants. I still wear clothes from middle school for painting and cleaning and they still fit. I have not changed, and I shop at most of the same stores, it is just the insanity of the measuring system.

This probably won''t help you, but in Britain and Ireland, the sizes are two or more higher than the US sizes which really makes you realize how random it is. I can wear 00 US pants with a size 6 top from Ireland and they both fit me perfectly.

 

[Kaleigh]

The numbers do get to me. I used to be a size 4 for ages. But hitting the big 40 it''s been hard to shed pounds like I used to. I am a 6 in some things and can still be a 4 in others. The sizes seem to be all over the place depending on the designer, etc....

 

[Black Jade]

Can''t let sizes get to you. Sizes make no sense.

I have been shopping in THE SAME STORE on the same day and bought three form-fitting sweaters that all fit me and one was large, one was medium and one was extra-small. They were all labeled differently but were all the same size.

It wasn''t always like this shopping for women''s clothes. They used to be very consistent. I wore a size 12 for years and years, and it was very convenient, I knew I was a size 12, I could go shopping and grab that size off the rack, my husband could go shopping for me and get stuff that fit, it was great. Then it all changed. Gradually, beginning around 1990, I found I was wearing a 10, then an 8, then a 6 in pants, without my measurements having changed at all. I didn''t lose any weight. I still fit my old size 12''s fine--to this day. But I''m now in a 4 quite a lot of the time when I buy new clothes. 4 is a size that didn''t even used to exist 15 years ago! The smallest size was 6 and only very petite women could fit into that--women under five feet tall who weighed 90-100 lbs. I''m 5 ft 4 and 142 or 143 lbs, which is average, medium sized--not very big, not very small. I can''t understand how I can be a size 4. I don''t want manufacturers to tell me I''m super-small when I''m NOT (and don''t want to be, no offense to women who are true petites and look nice that way). I also don''t want to be size 4 and size 6 and size 8 sometimes all on the same day!

I think I look fine at the size I am, and I also know lots of women who are bigger than I am, taller or curvier or whatever and they also look fine, and women are smaller than I am, either shorter or just more fine-boned and they look fine--provided their clothes FIT. Nothing looks worse than somebody in clothes they are squeezed into like a sausage or clothes that are sliding off them and that they are swimming in. People will notice this, not your clothes size.

Make sure your clothes fit and ignore the size tag--it''s all a mind game nowadays. If you don''t like to be bigger, check your weight by your scale and your measuring tape, not your tag size. And you know, reality is that you are going to be somewhat bigger than you were as a teenager once you hit twenty, and somewhat bigger again once you have a child or two. You shouldn''t gain 100''s of pounds unless you get some health problem like thyroid, but you are probably going to be 10 or 15 lbs more than when you were a teenager by the time you are thirty, just make sure that you get enough exercise that you are healthy and firm and don''t worry about it!

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Date: 8/27/2008 11:59:44 PM
Author: Black Jade
Can''t let sizes get to you. Sizes make no sense.

I have been shopping in THE SAME STORE on the same day and bought three form-fitting sweaters that all fit me and one was large, one was medium and one was extra-small. They were all labeled differently but were all the same size.

It wasn''t always like this shopping for women''s clothes. They used to be very consistent. I wore a size 12 for years and years, and it was very convenient, I knew I was a size 12, I could go shopping and grab that size off the rack, my husband could go shopping for me and get stuff that fit, it was great. Then it all changed. Gradually, beginning around 1990, I found I was wearing a 10, then an 8, then a 6 in pants, without my measurements having changed at all. I didn''t lose any weight. I still fit my old size 12''s fine--to this day. But I''m now in a 4 quite a lot of the time when I buy new clothes. 4 is a size that didn''t even used to exist 15 years ago! The smallest size was 6 and only very petite women could fit into that--women under five feet tall who weighed 90-100 lbs. I''m 5 ft 4 and 142 or 143 lbs, which is average, medium sized--not very big, not very small. I can''t understand how I can be a size 4. I don''t want manufacturers to tell me I''m super-small when I''m NOT (and don''t want to be, no offense to women who are true petites and look nice that way). I also don''t want to be size 4 and size 6 and size 8 sometimes all on the same day!

I think I look fine at the size I am, and I also know lots of women who are bigger than I am, taller or curvier or whatever and they also look fine, and women are smaller than I am, either shorter or just more fine-boned and they look fine--provided their clothes FIT. Nothing looks worse than somebody in clothes they are squeezed into like a sausage or clothes that are sliding off them and that they are swimming in. People will notice this, not your clothes size.

Make sure your clothes fit and ignore the size tag--it''s all a mind game nowadays. If you don''t like to be bigger, check your weight by your scale and your measuring tape, not your tag size. And you know, reality is that you are going to be somewhat bigger than you were as a teenager once you hit twenty, and somewhat bigger again once you have a child or two. You shouldn''t gain 100''s of pounds unless you get some health problem like thyroid, but you are probably going to be 10 or 15 lbs more than when you were a teenager by the time you are thirty, just make sure that you get enough exercise that you are healthy and firm and don''t worry about it!

Thank you!!! We need men''s sizing where it is the waist and length in inches.

This vanity sizing is truely PITA for me. As small as I am, there are a lot of places I con no longer buy clothes because they are all for bigger people. I know this is a huge thing for women, but everytime a larger woman gets to feel good about going down a size through vanity changes in sizing, there is one less place I can shop because nothing is small enough.

I don''t like going down in sizes. I feel like a little kid when I have to wear a 00 like I am such a freak at 5''2 that they ran out of real sizes before they got to cute little me, so it does work both ways although I do wear the 00 pants.

I measure my waist to tell my size. My weight fluctuates some because I gain muscle which causes me to gain weight and my size is a mess. When I want to know if I need to go to the gym more or if I can feel really good, I pull out the tape measure and get a very consistant measurement.

 

[diamondfan]

I used to. I was always thin, maybe too thin, I have been a zero in my twenties and thirties as well as in college. Now, the fibro and migraines and all the issues have made it hard to keep weight off. I would like to lose weight and it is not easy. Designers are all over the map. Some of the European sizes are good, some are not. The personal shopper I use at Saks even said her tiny clients are getting 8''s and 10''s in things as everything is cut so small. Meaning, size 4 and 6 women have to size up at least two sizes to fit in things. It really depends on the cut of the item and the designer and the fabric.

I think I care more about how I look and feel than a number right now, and when I start to feel better I hope to lose this darn weight.

 

[nytemist]

It bothers me so much now since I can''t get the number to go down.

When I was young I was in ballet, at 7 I started swimming and at 10 I started playing hockey. When I tore up my knee I had to stop dancing, but I still had the other soprts to keep me active. I''ve had tough swim coaches no I never got into the junk food phase as a teen. When I was old enough to join a gym I did it usually 4-5 days a week. In my 20s to ealry 30s I was still really disciplined and only had ''bad'' food on weekends (alcohol, french toast, ice cream, etc.) Even with all of that I was never thin or even slim. Wasn''t my body type or bone structure. I was fine being 175lbs since it was muscle and it weighs more than fat. Flat stomach, small waist, really toned arms and legs. I could vary up to 10 punds but still look the same. Now I''m about 210 and I look it. The gym I had got too expensive so I''m not a member there anymore. I''m still eating decently, but with the PCOS losing weight now is really hard. I would feel better if I could get to al least 190lbs.

 

[nytemist]

OOps, hit submit by accident instead of enter-

anyway, I''ve typically been an 8/10, but now a sort of 14. Some things in 14 are too big, some fits. Jeans are a nightmare, when I find a style that can fit my hips, butt and thighs, they are too big in the waist. Throw in being 5''3" and it sucks. Most makers seem to think if you''re that big, you must be tall too.

 

[vespergirl]

I understand how you feel - I went from a size 6 before to a size 8 post-baby, and it was hard to buy new clothes in the new size. However, it''s better to buy (& wear) something in the bigger size that looks good, than trying to squeeze yourself into something too small. One of my friends went through the same thing I did, up from a 6 to an 8, but she still won''t admit it, and all of her clothes is skintight and shows every little bulge. She''s not at all fat, but because she insists on buying clothes too small, my husband told me he thinks she looks like a "stuffed sausage" - not a good look for anyone. WHenever we go shopping together, she has me help her zip her dresses and stuff because she can''t get into her clothes herself. I''ve subtly tried telling her to try another size, but she won''t listen. The funny thing is that whenever we go out in a group now, people are always telling me that I look great, like I lost weight - but the truth is I''m buying the larger size that fits me now, so I just look much better in the clothes.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

No one knows by looking at you what size you wear...if the 12 jeans were more comfortable, and felt great, I'm proud of your for going for it!

 

[Pandora II]

Just cut the size tag out.

Trust me, sizes are different in different stores. I know one store in the UK where a normal size 10 is marked as an 8, a 12 as a 10 etc as a marketing ploy. People think oooh, I can wear a size 8 there rather than a 10, so I''ll shop there more.

I''m normally a UK size 10-12 which is a US size 6-8. I bought a pair of UK size 12 trousers in Zara last week and they are falling down on me the waist is so big. On the other hand I have a UK size 12 pair from Ralph Lauren that I practically have to jump up and down to get into.


Always buy the size that looks good on you. Trying to squeeze into a size smaller just so its easier in your mind actually makes you look bigger than wearing the correct size. Only you know what the tag says.

 

[Sabine]

Thanks everyone! I know that it really shouldn''t matter. I''m glad that I''ve at least been able to stop myself from buying clothes that don''t fit properly, because as many have said, tight clothes really do make me look and even FEEL fatter. I''m thinking about just cutting the tag, but I don''t know if it will help. At least I still have 2 other pairs of jeans if I can''t bring myself to wear these ones. Thanks for all your support and stories!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think the Old Navy story is a perfect example of how inconsistent things can be. The greater Gap company, as you all know, is made up of several differnt brands. Let's consider the 3 big ones for this. Old Navy, Gap, and Banana Republic.

I am a size 10 in Old Navy. Old Navy is the least expensive and is marketed to children, teens, and young adults who are interested in casual and/or trendy clothes. The clothes run small and are not the best quality (quality of clothing is an entirely different topic all together). Because the price is so low, the quality control that goes into ON is not as good as with the other companies.

I am a size 8 in Gap. The Gap, bridges the gap between young adult and career, inexpensive and expensive. The style (theoretically) appeals to a broad audience and is moderately priced for reasonable quality.

I am a size 6/8 in Banana Republic. BR is the higher end line of the Gap and is targeted at young to middle-aged working folks who want to look business-like while not wearing suits to work every day. The prices are higher and the finishes are better (think silk and cashmere compared to cottom and polyester).

Obviously, because of the material and the cost, the Gap invests more in the production and manufacturing of BR compared to ON. As such, more care is given to the cut and sizing of their pieces.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

OK, here''s a great example of the problem with clothing sizes:

I was shopping for jeans just a few months ago. I like Levi''s because I ride horses and those are the most comfortable jeans I''ve found to ride in, plus I like the way they look on me . . . they just seem to fit me right. So, I picked out three different pairs of Levi''s ~ all the same style (512), all the same size (, and all off the SAME FREAKIN'' RACK in the store! The only difference was the color . . . one pair was dark blue, one was medium blue, and one was light blue. The dark and medium blue pairs fit me great, and I bought them. The light blue pair was way too tight! GRRRR!!! I will NEVER understand this!!!

 

[dianne]

I may be able to shed the light on the craziness of how different sizes fit the same and vice versa. My mom used to work in a mill, sewing pajamas, for a living when I was much younger. She said that if the quota for a certain size was not met that the supervisors would have the sewers put the size label needed to meet that quota in the next garment one size up or down. For example: If they needed a quota of size 12 for shipment by a certain date, and the production crew did not make the quota, the sewers were told to put a size label of 12 on garments that were actually a size 10 or 14. Make sense?

Oh, and since I am a big girl, I won''t even take the rest of the night typing what kind of issues I have with body size, clothing sizes, clothes fitting and not fitting....I have big issues.....lol.

 

[bee*]

Date: 8/27/2008 9:44:46 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy



This probably won''t help you, but in Britain and Ireland, the sizes are two or more higher than the US sizes which really makes you realize how random it is. I can wear 00 US pants with a size 6 top from Ireland and they both fit me perfectly.

I know, that''s why I love buying clothes in the US. Instead of buying a 12 over here, I can buy an 8 in the US!
Anyway I totally understand what you''re saying Sabine and I have the exact same issues. I do not want to go up anymore clothes sizes.