If you keep a diary / journal, where do you keep it?

[bem3231]

Hi everyone -

I have been wondering about something and thought that I would have some PS-ers weigh in. If you keep a diary / journal, how private is it and where do you keep it for ''safekeeping''? Would you be upset if someone (ie: your SO) found it?

A bit of background - I am recently married and within the next few months we will be combining our households (we live in different cities so it''s a little non-conventional). Anyways, I have always kept a journal. Although there are no burning secrets in there, it is private and I would feel strange if my DH found it. Also, it''s sort of a mental/emotional outlet for me, and if I knew that it was not entirely private, I think that it would change what I would feel able to record in it''s pages. I''m not sure how to handle this once DH and are are sharing a home.

I would be curious to hear any thoughts, ideas or feedback. Thanks!

 

[phoenixgirl]

My personal feeling is that it''s better to say, "I want to talk about my journal. I use it to vent, and it''s important to me that it''s a safe space where I can just write my thoughts without censoring myself. I promise to always tell you if there''s something going on that you need to know about, but please let this be just my thing and don''t read it. I don''t want to feel like a teenager who has to hide her diary under her bed!"

Because if you hide it and it gets found somehow, your DH might open it wondering what it is and get into reading it without thinking, and then it would be too late. I think acknowledging that you have a journal and asking that it remain private are the way to go.

My therapist suggested I keep a journal after my father died, and she stressed that it''s just for me; DH can''t read it. If I want to share a passage with him, I''m supposed to copy it down so that the whole journal is just "mine." I explained this to DH and trust that he won''t read it, so I leave it out in plain view. I guess it kind of helps that a third party pronounced that he shouldn''t read it, and it''s mostly a grief journal so his interest shouldn''t be too piqued. But the point is that you should be able to ask for privacy when it''s warranted, as it is with journals. Just be mindful that your husband may be curious about it and wonder what thoughts/feelings you aren''t sharing with him. As long as you communicate well and reassure him that it''s cathartic for you and doesn''t mean you''re hiding anything, it shouldn''t be a problem.

 

[cbs102]

you know, i was actually just thinking about this very thing on the ride to work this am. i have ALWAYS kept a journal that i would right in every day. when i moved in with my fiance i kept all of them at my mom''s house because i was so afraid that he would read them. I have not kept one since i moved in 9 months ago and i really miss it... especially since we just got engaged and i would love to document this time in my life.

i think that i might talk to him about it tonight!