I need some major help - please

[Haven]

Samantha--you have gotten wonderful advice from so many people here on the board. I just want to remind you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. SO MANY people have or have had eating disorders, and that means there are a lot of professionals out there who specialize in helping people with this issue. I think you took an enormous first step when you posted your plea here on PS, so CONGRATULATIONS!

That being said, I just want to share some things that have worked for me in the past. I used to work as a personal trainer, and many of my clients had issues meeting their weight goals because they were eating foods that negated all the hard work they were doing in the gym. These are the things that helped them switch to a healthier lifestyle, and to develop a healthy relationship with food:

A) Find a mantra that speaks to you. One of my most successful clients had an incredible mantra that I use myself whenever I''m tempted to eat the wrong foods: NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS. She wrote this everywhere--on the edge of her computer monitor at work, on her fridge, on the dash of her car, everywhere. I love it.

B) Find a partner in crime who has similar goals and can support you. People who diet and work out with buddies are much more successful than people who go it alone. And, of course, the advice you received to become more active is so true--move more, lose more.

C) Seek professional help. A therapist will be able to help you see the root of your problem, because, of course, the binge eating is just a symptom of something else.

D) Stick with PS! We are all here to support you, and we want to see you happy, so seek us out whenever you need someone to listen.

Best of luck,

Lori

 

[monarch64]

When I was 17 I was diagnosed with an ED. I took part in an outpatient therapy program that lasted 8 weeks...I had to commit a lot of time to it (4 days a week), but it was probably one of the healthiest things I''ve ever done. My course of therapy went like this: Mondays I saw a therapist, Tuesdays met with a group of others in the same program and our dietician to eat a meal together, Thursdays met with the dietician one on one--I had forms I had to fill out with everything I consumed and followed a diet plan designed by her so I could see how to meet all nutritional requirements and get myself on a healthy eating schedule, and Saturdays were group therapy sessions. My parents even came to one, after which my dad said "everything in moderation, what''s so hard about that?"

I laugh about that now, but at the time it was not the most helpful comment. People in my group ranged from patients with severe anorexia, one gal weighed 89 lbs. at 5''7", to a gal who ate only fat free candy and nothing else, to bulimics, etc. There are so many different types of ED''s, so many combinations of unhealthy eating patterns...a lot of people don''t quite fit into one neat little package called "anorexia" or "bulimia" or "binge-eater."

For two months I had to do some hard work emotionally and physically, and I''m happy to see that at 30 I''ve maintained a healthy weight and lifestyle for the last decade or so since my therapy. I learned a lot about myself. I still struggle sometimes with weight issues and self-image, but I''m not obsessive about it and I don''t see food as "bad" or the "enemy" and I think my thought processes are pretty normal now when it comes to these issues.

It''s been awhile since I''ve done any reading on ED''s, but I''m sure there are many resources out there with which you could educate yourself and gain some insight even before you jump into therapy, and a good therapist will have some good material for you as well.

My favorite activity we did in group therapy once was this: we had huge sheets of paper that we first drew a life size image of what our mind thought our body looked like. Then we laid down on the paper and had a partner draw an outline of our shape, the difference was so cool to see between what we thought our body size was, and the actual outline. It was an eye-opener to me. I''d recommend the exercise to anyone, whether they have an ED or not, many people have a skewed perception of their size and shape and how others see them and what their actual size is.

Take care of yourself, Samantha, I''ll be thinking of you and cheering you on.

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/7/2007 10:11:41 AM
Author: Samantha Red

Date: 6/7/2007 10:08:27 AM

Author: bee*

I was the exact same as that too-I used to go to the shops and buy crisps and stuff and I could eat tons of packets in one go. It was the scales that did it for me too-I weighed myself in Jan and I was 200lbs and I nearly died when I saw the scales. Since then Ive been eating healthy and exercising lots and the weight has come off. Don''t get me wrong, once or twice Ive had a couple of packets of crisps in one sitting, but Ive seen how far Ive come since Jan so Im not going to go back to where I was. I honestly cannot give you any advice as such as to how to stop eating the way you are as for me I tried for years not to eat the way I did, but just when I saw the scales that time, I knew I just had to stop. I agree with taking all the rubbish out of the house, and just don''t go to the shops and buy rubbish. Don''t go shopping hungry either, as I used to fill the cart with junk when I went shopping hungry. Best of luck with it!

thanks Bee, I love your name because it is the same as my beautiful horse. I even feel bad for her because she has to carry me round! What do you do to overcome that desire to just fill yourself with rubbish?


Does anyone know if Overeaters Anonymous groups exist in the UK?

At the moment when I do want to eat rubbish, I just try and do something else, like check my emails or take my dog for a walk, just anything really to get me away from those thoughts. I live at home with my family so there is always rubbish in the house and much as Ive tried to get my parents not to buy it, they still do and in large quantities, so I have to stay out of the kitchen when I feel like this. I also love raisins, so I have some of those little sunmaid raisin boxes in my room, so if I have to have something, I have some of them and as they''re so sweet they normally get me over my craving.
Im not sure if there is an overeaters anonymous in the UK, I live in Ireland and I know that there is a group that help people, whether they undereat or overeat, although I can''t think of the name. I''ll try and find it and see is there a group in the UK

 

[bee*]

I dont seem to be able to find a website but as far as I remember it''s bodywyse or something like that

 

[Samantha Red]

Thanks again everyone for their advice. Today has been a good day so far, because I have been too busy to go the buy anything, and I had something prepared for lunch which I ate as soon as I got home. One thing I have read which I am going to try is that when I eat something like a chocolate bar, I should make it last me for six minutes and full meals should be at least 20 minutes. This, in theory, gives me chance to feel full and less likely to overeat. I am definitely going to try it because at the moment I can eat five chocolate bars in about 2 minutes. I guess and I am trying to fill an ever deepening void when that happens. Another one from Dr Phil is to brush your teeth when you feel like pigging out - hopefully I will have shiny teeth and a slimmer body in time for my wedding in April 2009.

Thanks again so much, I can literally feel the support from everyone who has posted.

 

[oshinbreez]

I haven''t read through all the posts and I''m sorry if I repeat what others have said.

I noticed in your last post about eating slower. It does work. Also about the chocolate....have you tried the minis. They''re only one bite, but will curb your sweet tooth. When I want a chocolate bar, I''ll pop a mini in my mouth and suck on it for a min before eating it. I''m satisfied, and don''t get near as many calories as eating a whole bar.

 

[oshinbreez]

You might also look at this.

10 wys to outwit your appetite

 

[jcrow]

i agree with Dee*Jay regarding exercise. i would get moving and tackle food issues in connection. i know for some, establishing an exercise routine then tackling their food issues works for them.

 

[Mara]

haha thanks samantha, i am definitely not the picture of self-control hehee...but i can pull it out when i need to thank goodness. this week i have been exceptionally good all week, mostly because we were on vacation for 10 days and i ate anything under the sun. i worked out daily but i still know i was way off my typical food game. we ate a ton of healthy things but lots of desserts. also this wkd we have a wedding so i know i'll be eating then. but sometimes i have these large chunks of time when it's just really easy for me to do the right thing food wise, turn down desserts etc. and i don't miss it really at all. and other times i swear it's like i just want that double chocolate bread pudding and can practically taste it! it's funny how our minds work. i think part of it for me is that i don't like to deprive myself, my whole way of living life is to indulge in what you feel like doing. but unfortunately my body as it gets older doesn't take the weight off like it used to yanno. moderation is hard for me to incorporate.

i think you have gotten some great advice here...5 chocolate bars in 2 minutes definitely can be extreme, the one thing i would add to what others said is if you end up doing something like that again, try to stop for a second and examine WHY you are doing it. how do you feel at the time, you start eating the chocolate and then how you feel during and how you feel at the end. you might be ablet to figure out what the triggers are or similar that might make you want to turn to food. also i have read that sometimes chewing gum helps work to distract you AND keep your mouth busy. since i think a lot of the time if i overeat it's just mindless, aka boredom or nothing else to do at the time...i also have been going 'stop...' and taking assessment of how i feel. am i really hungry?? or is it just that i'm bored. if it's bored they suggest to go for a walk or something. cravings supposedly only last a few minutes. and if you can get past those few minutes or distract your mind OR give the craving something else like a piece of sugar free gum...it might work.

anyway...it's definitely all mind games to me...but i do think that over time the more and more you do something the more *routine* it becomes for you and your body. i read something recently about how your body always tries to go back to old habits if that is what it is used to. it can take up to NINE MONTHS for your mind to accept something as a new routine. so you might be in for a bumpy road as you go about changing eating habits, but you definitely CAN do it. just believe in yourself, know you are worth it and strong and you can achieve it. good luck and please keep posting, we would love to see you in the WWT. trust me we have all had a binge or two (DJ has her reeses PB cups and i have my dessert trays at work gatherings hehee) but we just pick ourselves up and get back on the wagon and keep on going. don't let your own mind derail you, make it work for you and not against you.

and kudos for not buying any crappy stuff today, one day at a time!

oh and random add but i have recently discovered 10 cal frozen yogurt, not sure if you guys have something like it in the UK, but the one out here has 20 flavors and they switch them up daily. i have discovered that a really filling serving of fro yo can really keep me from snacking in the afternoons. and it's perfect for when i feel like i might want to overindulge because what do i want to eat? 4 oz of regular ice cream for 160 cals? or 10 oz of the 10 cal yogurt for 100 cals? it kind of speaks to my overindulgence whim and can take care of it so that i don't do the same thing later with a big bread pudding or something. anyway i have been eating it for a few weeks now and love it...so if you can find something like that near you, it might be a good emergency kinda thing to be able to go do something like that INSTEAD of the 5 chocolate bars!

 

[bee*]

If you like chocolate, you might like this-I tried the fitnesse bars today, and I tried the chocolate one-it was delicious. I know sometimes with the low cal bars the chocolate can taste awful, but these really tasted good. I got my box in Tescos, so you should be able to find them there and they're only 90 cals-great snack!

 

[nejarb]

adderall.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Samantha,

I was just checking in -- how have you been?  I was looking at OA website the other night for myself, and I thought I''d pass it along to you, if you don''t mind. 

http://www.oa.org

Take care and have a great week,

zoe

 

[Pandora II]

Hi Samantha,

I would really suggest talking to your GP - sadly therapy is harder to get here than the US, but it is available. In my experience you have to be fairly insistent and make sure you tell all the bad bits. The GPs know how bad the waiting lists are and will try to let you wriggle out of them putting you on it - but the sooner you are on, the sooner you get to the front of the queue!

From what little I know of easting disorders, it is mainly a "control" issue. I find I stop eating when my life goes crazy because it is an area that is simple for me to control and it helps me feel attached to a situation better.

Lots of anorexics develop the illness because its a way to control puberty: low body weight = lack of secondary sexual characteristics; and often as a defence against an overbearing or controlling parent especially the mother.

There are drugs that can be used for bulimia which sounds like your symptoms - I have a feeling Prozac is one that they use. It might be useful to google bulimia and see what is available on the net, but ultimately I would suggest getting some professional help. To be honest, admitting that you have a problem is normally half the battle!

Good luck!

 

[Samantha Red]

Hi Everyone

I thought I would post a quick update after the weekend. Everyone has been so kind and non-judgemental, it is wonderful. I am sure all the world''s ills could be cured by the common sense and compassion of the ps gang.

I felt really inspired and strong from reading everyones posts and generally the weekend has gone really well. We went out for dinner on Friday and I had what I wanted, but ate really slowly and stopped when I was full, leaving food on my plate - a revelation. I was always told to eat up when I was a child, and to think of starving African children. However, as one famous therapist in the UK says, how many children are saved by me being obese?

Saturday was really busy so I ate normal meals at normal times, with no baddies, until the evening. I was really tired and suffering from probable sugar withdrawal, so I started a big fight with my FI and stormed out the house and off in my car. I drove around for about an hour, then stupidly went into a late night shop and bought three bars of chocolate and demolished them. I didn''t want them and didn''t enjoy it at all.

Not deterred I started Sunday as a new day and followed the same rules, keeping busy and only eating when hungry. I ate normal meals at normal times and kept moving and occupied.

I am far from cured I know, but I feel so much better. The true test is in the week when I have a lot of time to myself - but I have a list of jobs I want to do lined up and I am going to try to keep busy. If I feel like wavering I am going to ride my horse.

Thank you all so much again for everything, I feel infused by your support

 

[Mara]

good for you samantha, one night of eating won't derail you. have you checked out our 'weekly workout thread' in this section of PS? it's not just about working out, it's mostly about an eating and exercising aka healthy lifestyle kind of thing. we talk a lot about eating as well as working out. most of us overindulge from time to time but yep you just gotta get up, dust yourself off and realize it's not going to derail you and you don't gain 5 lbs from one night of indulgence. just focus on having an overall healthy lifestyle. also many trainers say it's something like an 80/20 kind of rule...aka 80% of what you eat should be good for you and then you have some leeway with the 20%. if you think about that daily...it definitely helps. but yeah we all get derailed sometimes! this wkd i was at a wedding and i had 3 pieces of wedding cake for dessert, they were slivers though hehee. and i had a handful of bite sized goodies from the dessert bar. but i didn't eat much for dinner. then on sunday we ended up having egg, bacon and cheese croissants and pastries from the hotel bakery. THEN i brought home 5 specialty cookies from this bakery, we love this place. but i said well we are here 1x a year so i should indulge. so we did. and we enjoyed it. and today i am back on my healthy eating/working out wagon. this wkd won't derail me at all, i doubt i gained any weight from it and i actually ate more lightly last week from monday to friday in anticipation of the wkd. it's just about moderation for the most part but also knowing there will be times when you want more than the moderation and that's okay too!! don't beat yourself up about it as well. i read an article recently about overeating and how women are so hard on themselves for when they do it, and we all do it sometimes. the article said to forgive yourself, what's done is done, and move on and just get back on the healthy horse. that is so important for us all to remember i think. i do it myself too ... like 'did i really need that extra piece of cake?'...NOPE just like i didn't need the first 2! But they were DAMN GOOD and i enjoyed them. hehee. however, i did read another article that said a great way to help stop yourself from eating too much is to stop and say 'can i have this another time?'...if the answer is yes (aka hersheys bars are always at any store), then put it down after you have had enough.

then you can say well i will have another bar in a few days or whatever. but by then you might not even want it. anyway...kudos on what sounds like following the 80/20 pretty well this wkd!

 

[allycat0303]

Hey Samantha,

Your post really resonated with me. I do the binge eating too. I have since I was 13 years old. I basically eat less the 500-600 calories a day and then on a week day, eat more the what 2 football players will eat in two days (not even good food. Like just food in general). Last night it was bacon and bread. Lots of bacon. And I always eat alone. Just raid the fridge when my guy is away. It''s sad because I realize that it''s related to other stuff in my life, have worked a lot on the other things in my life, and yet I feel as though that isn''t improving. I think I have some fairy dust though because I''m asian and naturally small, so usually stay within 5 pounds of my weight (I feel mentally disgusting) but I know this is a mental picture.

I don''t know your life story, so I won''t make assumptions, but I can tell you''ve figured out that a part of this is related to your past. I guess my only advice is not to be too hard on yourself, because you mentioned in your first part, ''''I''m intelligent why can''t I do this'''' is that I don''t think this issue has anything to do with you intelligence, or your discipline. It''s almost a strange type of compulsion to eat. In any case, I KNOW you can get down to the weight you want for your wedding, so you can look the way you want. We are all here to root for you!

You post was very refreshing and very real. And kind of a relief to know that someone else has this problem too!

Hugs!

 

[Samantha Red]

Date: 6/14/2007 6:32:34 AM
Author: allycat0303
Hey Samantha,

Your post really resonated with me. I do the binge eating too. I have since I was 13 years old. I basically eat less the 500-600 calories a day and then on a week day, eat more the what 2 football players will eat in two days (not even good food. Like just food in general). Last night it was bacon and bread. Lots of bacon. And I always eat alone. Just raid the fridge when my guy is away. It''s sad because I realize that it''s related to other stuff in my life, have worked a lot on the other things in my life, and yet I feel as though that isn''t improving. I think I have some fairy dust though because I''m asian and naturally small, so usually stay within 5 pounds of my weight (I feel mentally disgusting) but I know this is a mental picture.

I don''t know your life story, so I won''t make assumptions, but I can tell you''ve figured out that a part of this is related to your past. I guess my only advice is not to be too hard on yourself, because you mentioned in your first part, ''I''m intelligent why can''t I do this'' is that I don''t think this issue has anything to do with you intelligence, or your discipline. It''s almost a strange type of compulsion to eat. In any case, I KNOW you can get down to the weight you want for your wedding, so you can look the way you want. We are all here to root for you!

You post was very refreshing and very real. And kind of a relief to know that someone else has this problem too!

Hugs!

Hey Allycat

Thank you so much for responding to my post. Isn''t it a wonderful thing that ps brings people together across thousands of miles. I always assume everyone else has everything together and I am the only mess! I feel much less alone for reading the other posts and your story. I am taking each day at a time and feeling stronger each day. I am going to resolve to log onto ps each time I feel like binging.

Hugs to you too

 

[surfgirl]

Samantha, it sounds like you could really benefit from some therapy to get at the root issues that make you turn to food. Having said that, I lost about 40 pounds over the last year, after eating too much for too many years. I found that for me, the only way it could work was when I was truly ready to make a profound change in my eating habits. I used Weight Watchers online and do cardio 5-6 times a week for at least 50-60 minutes, Pilates 2x week with the occassional tennis on weekends. As my friend once said, the only way to lose weight is to exercise more calories off, than you''re putting in your mouth. Sounds simple, eh?

 

[Mara]

samantha just wanted to chime in and say hope things are going well. i have been more and more successful with not overeating favorite things (for the most part!! all bets are off when we are having a nice dinner out, hehe) by just reminding myself of how i feel after i eat too much of something. i ABSOLUTELY NEVER feel good afterwards. i typically feel bloated and just weighed down by whatever i ate. and i would imagine that we are all like that right? sure it tastes good when you are chewing it but then afterwards its like ugh why did i eat that? or eat 3 of those?

it is much easier for me to not start at all than to stop. i have been working on not starting at all, but also trying to also work on stopping at one or two, when i start. i have such a massive sweet tooth, so a lot of it for me is that i love things like donuts, ice cream, candy and i would eat it all the time all day long if i could. i just love the way stuff tastes...i am such a foodie. if someone brings in a box of donuts i don''t want a bunch of donuts, but i want just little pieces torn off of 5 diff donuts. actually the last time someone brought donuts in i thought ''hmmm could i just eat donuts for lunch and dinner?'' lol. but unfortunately i really can''t! i''m like that with bread and butter too. i could just sit down with bread and butter and be happy as a clam.

so anyway...i have been really consciously trying to be better about staying conscious of what i want to eat and why, and it''s slowly working. sure i have days where i just want 4 cookies. and that''s okay too! but as long as those times are far far far outnumbered by the amount of times i say no to something i want, or question if i need to have 2 of those and stop at 1, then i know i come out ahead. i know you mentioned that sometimes when you falter you do the 3 candy bar thing or whatever, if that happens again i would say, try your hardest to stop and think, is this benefitting me? am i enjoying this? if not, why am i actually doing it? how will it make me feel? utilizing cognitive thinking in the middle of an emotional firestorm may work if you keep practicing it.

anyway hope you are doing well.

 

[VRBeauty]

Sam:

Not to suggest that your binging is necessarily due to underlying emotional issues, but... mine was. I went through periods of binge eating when I was in college and for some time after that. It was bad enough that I''d mix sugar in butter and eat that mixture if there wasn''t anything else around, or if I was concerned that the sudden lack of ice cream might be noticed. I know that feeling a lack of control in may life was one of the things that brought it out (how do I know? The binging was always worst when I went "home" to visit my folks!). I was also dealing with depression that wasn''t really identified and treated until many years later. Attending an "anonymous" group helped get me to be easier on myself, to accept myself a bit better, and to get to the point where counseling helped.

My SIL was struggling with binge eating and bulimia when she joined our family, and off and on for the next 10-15 years. When she started to get that "under control" her issues re-emerged as heavy drinking. She''s attending AA now, and has been sober and healthy for a couple of years.

The point is not that there is only one solution, it''s that in both our cases the eating disorder was tied to underlying issues.

As for everyday tips... I don''t keep things in my house that I know I''ll inhale (potato chips are a big one). I like sweet stuff and and indulge in chocolate and other candy when the sweet tooth acts up... I don''t bother with artificially sweetened stuff because it really doesn''t take care of the craving for me. I just make sure that I buy a single candy bar instead of a large bag of M&Ms! Oh, and walking. If I can get up and move around a bit after eating a meal, I''m not as likely to want seconds or load up on dessert.

I''ll be sending you *hugs* and good thoughts!

 

[Samantha Red]

Thank you once again one and all for the wonderful advice and support. Mara, I am so grateful to you for thinking of me; someone you don''t even know that is about 8,000 miles away (sat watching rain pouring down I might add).

This week has been a definite improvement, yes I have had my slips, but they have been far less damaging and smaller. I do more of a cognitive battle with myself now and there are times when it works. The biggest improvement is how much I have moved. Normally I would sit all afternoon and eat until I absolutely had to get up to feed dogs and cook a dinner I didn''t want because I was already full. However I have become the domestic goddess this week - no watching of any afternoon TV and I have been finding myself lots of jobs to do. I even mowed the lawn for the first time in two years (much to the gargantuan shock of my beloved).

If I am doing this because of people fundamental to my life that have hurt me in the past, then I am only letting them control me even further by doing this aren''t I? The best way to win is to be healthy and happy and in control.

The big thing I have realised is that I couldn''t remember the last time I felt genuinely hungry, which is really when one should eat. That is a genuine revelation.

Thank you so much again, hugs to all

 

[bee*]

I heard that website that I was trying to think of on the radio yesterday- its www.bodywhys.ie . I know that it''s an irish site but they seem to have lots of info on it and Im sure that they can refer someone in the UK. Glad that things are going better this week. It is a slow process but if you do it slowly and work through everything you will get over it, rather than if you do it quickly and not work through everything.

 

[anchor31]

I''m glad to hear you''re doing better. I don''t have much advice, but I wanted to give you some support. Just remember that the goal shouldn''t be that you become thinner, but healthier.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Hey--

I don''t have a lot of advice but I have read a few articles on the psychology of how we eat, and here are the tips that made a lot of sense:

Buy smaller dinner plates. If your portions look larger on the plate your brain signals that you are full sooner.

Put food out of sight in the pantry, and move bad food to the back where you can''t see it and it is hard to get to (or throw it out). Never leave out something like a bowl of chips or candy; if you see it, you will eat much more.

Put the veggies in your fridge where you see them first, not covered up in a black plastic bag, and prep them (wash and peel) as soon as you buy them so its easier to use them.

Have a plan of what you are making for dinner each day

My personal tip: make food shopping a family event in a good way--we used to go to a lovely farmers market and eat lunch there. you start to value good food a lot more.

That said, it does sound like you might have a deeper psychological problem and should deal with that while trying things like the above/other''s great suggestions.

Hope that helps and good for you for having the courage to deal with it.

 

[Mara]

samantha, the other thing is that you mentioned most of the time you feel like everyone else has their stuff together and it's only you who has these kinds of issues. its my personal opinion that most people have SOMETHING to deal with that is along the same lines of how your food issue is for you. i think that people in general typically are not as carefree as we might always imagine they are...and when you are stuck in the middle of something and feel crappy, it's easy to think that everyone else around you is so happy and fabulous and you just are not and that's not fair. the grass is always greener right? i would say, nix that thinking!! life has ups and downs and it's what you do to make yourself happy and secure and confident that counts. you don't have to be happy or great all the time as long as the ratio is still good hehee. and half the time you don't know what's going on in other people's lives, and if they are private they won't share with you. i think you will really win over this struggle, a lot of the battle is just knowing that you have an issue and that you do need to work on it. for me it's just flat out boredom eating and favorite food over-eating, and i don't think it's an 'issue' persay as it doesn't mess with my life at all, but i don't like it and i want to be better about it. and i know i have that control over me and my life and my body so i should be able to make it better. and i am.

our minds are a really powerful tool and they can mess with us something fierce if we let them. just say no to your brain controlling your actions and emotions. you totally can do it. anyhow, sounds like you are doing well!!! i don't know if you have checked out the WWT but you might want to as well, we always post in there as well, you don't have to be 'working out' to post. a lot of the times we post about food as well and what we ate or suggestions on what to eat for calorie counters. or what milestone we reached or what treat we turned down (hehee). and i do agree staying busy will start getting your mind off of things...but i totally think you should seek some counseling for your past issues as well...i think that by loading up with different ways to combat this will give you the highest chance of success!

also a random thought but i know you mentioned candy bars as a fave binge item. this might be a workaround as opposed to a fix, but think about a substitute. like instead of 3 full on hersheys bars you could keep a box of hersheys chocolate sticks (60 cals each) and then if you eat 3 of those it's no big deal....180 cals vs like 800. OR the next time you do stop at a store to binge, find something lower cal to grab? i know that doesnt fix the underlying problem of the actual binge eating, but while you are working on fixing yourself inside, anything you can do to help minimize future damage in terms of wanting to lose the weight as well might be an option. and then you would beat yourself up less afterwards. just a thought.

oh and one more thing. i read this on another thread, don't remember where but it said something like...people who have eating issues, have a really hard time because if you are an alcoholic, you just don't go near the alcohol. but if you have problems with eating...what do you do? you HAVE to eat daily and multiple times per day at that. so it really does behoove you to fix what is going on internally, so that you can setup a healthy lifestyle with eating for the rest of your life. i think you are on the right track.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Samantha, just wanted to bump your thread and see how you''re doing these past few days...

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/7/2007 9:41:13 AM
Author:Samantha Red
When I met my now fiance I weighed approximately 126lbs, fast forward 5 years and I weigh around 180lbs. Once we got engaged I swore I would not even try wedding dresses on without having lost weight to the point where I would walk down the aisle happily. That was three months ago and I have made no progress whatsoever. My problem is that I am a secret binger - big style. I can demolish three or four bars of chocolate in one sitting, several times per day. All in secret. I have never managed to make myself vomit, but it is not for want of trying. I so desperately want to get out of this cycle and to have a normal relationship with food, but just don''t know how. I can''t stop, no matter how full I feel. I walked around a wedding dress shop today to try to motivate myself, but I went straight to the shop and bought my usual rubbish straight after and scoffed the lot.

I am intelligent and I know what to do because I have done it before, but how do I get myself off this terrible nightmare ride? I want to be healthy and eat for nutrition. I am active, walking dogs and riding my horse, it is just the food thing.

I just wondered if anyone out there had been through the same thing and had any advise.

Many thanks for listening

I highlighted a few red flags, and as somebody who has a history with letting their eating get out of control, I''m just going to tell you a few things that helped me.

1) Stop trying to punish yourself and feeling bad when you binge. True, it''s not a helpful weight loss technique to binge, but I always had more luck saying, "Oh, whoops, time to start over!" than I did when I made myself feel guilty...which ended up leading to more food cravings (I''m a bit of an emotional eater). This doesn''t work for everybody, though...

2) Make this postive instead of negative. I''m starting a rewards system for myself, where 50 cents go into my savings everytime I go to the gym, 50 cents go in when I have a craving I don''t give in to, and $2 goes in for every week I stick to my diet, and $2 more for every week I stick to my excersize goals! a) It''s less money for junk food, and b) once I''ve lost the weight and kept it off for 6 months, I''m going to take the money and buy myself as extravagant a gift as I can afford with it. (Perhaps some earrings). If you did the same, you could buy yourself something to wear when you walk down the isle that would be not only beautiful, but a reminder of your strength and how you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to.

3) Write it down!!! I joined Self.com''s food/exercise journal and try to write down every bite that I eat, everything I drink, etc. to give me a realistic view of how well/poorly I''m eating. I find that I eat less junk simply because I don''t want to see it written down!

4) Get a hand-y hobby! Knitting and crocheting can also use up snack money, and when your hands are busy learning a new skill or using an old one, they''re less likely to stop for that scoop of ice cream or handful of potato chips!

 

[Mara]

hey Samantha, i saw you post over in the triathalon thread and it made me think of how you are doing? check in when you have a chance! hope all is well.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Samatha...

I wanted to add a few thoughts that may be helpful.

You know how smokers often say they have tried to quit...but can't? We'll everytime they finish their cigrette they ACTUALLY ARE STOPPING/Quiting. It is the starting back up again that is the problem. They have the quitting down well. Extinguish the butt and walk away...viola.

(No need to write and explain about additions and nicotine being different...I am using this as an example.)

They same thing is applied in your situation. The secret bing has to stop. You did so as you worked or when to school or did something today that you weren't able to eat...so you stopped. You did it!! Celebrate! You really did stop!!!

Insert the others advice. Please try and seek support from a professional. The most important thing you can do is change your routine. Get out of the block of time...and space where you binge. Put something else in its place.

Sweetie, You really can do this! Start by giving yourself the credit you deserve...because you already did stop...right?

DKS

 

[Samantha Red]

Hi Mara and DKS

Thank you so much for being interested.

This week is not going so well to be honest, but I keep slogging on. The problem is the emotional crutch thing at the moment as there is a lot of stressful stuff going on; the main one being the breakdown of my only brothers marriage and all that comes from that. Interestingly, it might end up helping in a bizarre way. On Monday night I was over at their house because it was my eldest niece''s prom night. Both of my nieces are very slim and very fashion concious and there was me overweight and frumpy (and probably smelling distinctly of damp dog, cat, and horse). We all gathered a their friends house for the departure by limo and I felt really self concious and embarrassed for them, for having me as their aunt. It really struck home and made me think. What I do doesn''t just impact me; it impacts people I love too. If I can''t love myself enough to stop; I should love others enough