susimoo
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2010
- Messages
- 1,807
My PS buddies,
I have wanted to post this for a while, but wasn't able to. I have some diamond updates for you in the next few days at couldn't post them without acknowledging what has been one of the hardest times in my life.
My dad has been ill/not quite himself for a little over a year, getting loads of tests etc. He had a heart complaint, but given his age, 78, he was in good shape. He was given the option to have heart bypass surgery to give him a better quality of life in the coming years.
He chose this option. When he went in for the operation in February, he was told his heart had deteriorated considerably since his last tests in November 2010.
The operation took place on 22.2.11. It was a success. We were all so happy and relieved. He came home about 10 days after the surgery and was so positive and happy. That only lasted a couple of days and then he became despondent and very negative about his recovery.
We had been told that this was a normal reaction to such a serious operation.
Anyway, he seemed better if depressed. On Friday 25.3.11 I took him and my mother to the doctors as he was breathless. The doctor took blood tests and changed his medication. The doctor was very pleased with his progress to date and told him to continue as normal.
Having spoken to my dad he said several things to me that meant he was thinking about death. I was worried but pushed it to the back of my mind.
The next day he was better, not great, but better. He wanted to go and get a haircut. So I took my parents and our daughter Sara into town. He got his haircut and we went to one of my brothers house for lunch.
He ate, laughed and had a wee sleep. On the way home, we dropped dad off at the house and we went to the supermarket. When we came home I dropped mum off .
I asked mum if she wanted me to come in with her, she said no. I paused, everything was ok, so went home. (we live across the road from each other)
Less then 10 mins later I got the call. Mum and dad had spoken when she got home. She had made him comfortable on his chair and she went upstairs to change. When she came down, he was gone.
I called the ambulance whilst holding his hand, mum and Sara were hysterical in the kitchen. I couldn't/didn't do anything. I knew he was gone. I feel very guilty about not doing anything. It haunts me.
I cannot believe it. It sounds silly but I never once thought he wouldn't get through it. He was the strongest most determined man I have ever known.
Now, in less than 10 weeks Sara and I move to Australia, to be with my husband who went out in January to start his new job.
I am so lost. I cannot believe he is gone and now I have to leave my mum. I have 4 brothers who will take the best care of her ever, but I feel so guilty.
PS friends, if you made it through my epic post (sorry), tell me how to get through this. If you have been in a similar position, what helped you.
I have seen many here get great help and support. I need your words of wisdom now. Thank you for taking the time.
I have wanted to post this for a while, but wasn't able to. I have some diamond updates for you in the next few days at couldn't post them without acknowledging what has been one of the hardest times in my life.
My dad has been ill/not quite himself for a little over a year, getting loads of tests etc. He had a heart complaint, but given his age, 78, he was in good shape. He was given the option to have heart bypass surgery to give him a better quality of life in the coming years.
He chose this option. When he went in for the operation in February, he was told his heart had deteriorated considerably since his last tests in November 2010.
The operation took place on 22.2.11. It was a success. We were all so happy and relieved. He came home about 10 days after the surgery and was so positive and happy. That only lasted a couple of days and then he became despondent and very negative about his recovery.
We had been told that this was a normal reaction to such a serious operation.
Anyway, he seemed better if depressed. On Friday 25.3.11 I took him and my mother to the doctors as he was breathless. The doctor took blood tests and changed his medication. The doctor was very pleased with his progress to date and told him to continue as normal.
Having spoken to my dad he said several things to me that meant he was thinking about death. I was worried but pushed it to the back of my mind.
The next day he was better, not great, but better. He wanted to go and get a haircut. So I took my parents and our daughter Sara into town. He got his haircut and we went to one of my brothers house for lunch.
He ate, laughed and had a wee sleep. On the way home, we dropped dad off at the house and we went to the supermarket. When we came home I dropped mum off .
I asked mum if she wanted me to come in with her, she said no. I paused, everything was ok, so went home. (we live across the road from each other)
Less then 10 mins later I got the call. Mum and dad had spoken when she got home. She had made him comfortable on his chair and she went upstairs to change. When she came down, he was gone.
I called the ambulance whilst holding his hand, mum and Sara were hysterical in the kitchen. I couldn't/didn't do anything. I knew he was gone. I feel very guilty about not doing anything. It haunts me.
I cannot believe it. It sounds silly but I never once thought he wouldn't get through it. He was the strongest most determined man I have ever known.
Now, in less than 10 weeks Sara and I move to Australia, to be with my husband who went out in January to start his new job.
I am so lost. I cannot believe he is gone and now I have to leave my mum. I have 4 brothers who will take the best care of her ever, but I feel so guilty.
PS friends, if you made it through my epic post (sorry), tell me how to get through this. If you have been in a similar position, what helped you.
I have seen many here get great help and support. I need your words of wisdom now. Thank you for taking the time.