I have breast cancer.

[monarch64]

Im calling their bluff

Let him.

 

[Bron357]

Just so you know I’m burning joss sticks.
One set for you wishing you peace and healing across the miles.
The other set I’m asking for karma on your behalf, your ex can reap what he has sown. May the ground open and he fall, if not to Hell, at least to expensive dental treatment and a compound fracture of the femur.

 

[MMtwo]

I am so sorry for all you are being hit with. He should go to court. What kind of man would do this? I am sorry about the diagnosis. This is a combo you do not need!

 

[Matata]

Thanks. You’re totally right, as usual. Unfu*kingfortunately, this ex spouse decided to go scorched earth and has now filed papers (pro se) along with a letter he coached our child to write to demand sole custody, even after I texted him there was a 95% chance of malignancy. He’s been waiting.

Unfu#ingfortunately, I suspected this was his next step. He'll likely use your diagnosis as a reason he should have full custody claiming you won't be fully able to care for your daughter. He must watch soap operas or TV drama programs because that MO is straight out of a TV writer's script.

Release your inner b*tch. She'll have fun feasting on the remains of that arsehole. You go girl!!

Hugs.

 

[HockeyMama]

I relate so much.

I don’t wallow.

Thank you for the nutrition advice!

Well, now I have to stop wallowing. (I've been throwing myself daily pity parties for my own health issues.)

You are in your Warrior Era! It will serve you well.

 

[Gypsy]

1. Yes
Indiana
D was finalized 2020 even tho I left in 2016.

The minute that BLEEP bought you that ring, I had a bad vibe. Who buys a woman who is on a jewelry forum for YEARS focused on diamonds, a ring without asking for her opinion. He treated you like a thing, like an accessory without thoughts and feelings and still is. You may find this helpful: https://www.agrantattorney.com/child-custody/navigating-with-narcissist/

I am sorry monnie. Can I also recommend something that helped me with my divorce?

Amazon.com

She is my favorite poet. Her work is accessible and she focuses on trauma, healing, and the feminine. The book is a journey and I've recommended it to several women in similar situations and they've found it very supportive and helpful, even if they don't generally like poetry.

 

[AGBF]

Bad news: I’m older and meaner.

Good news: thank you for reminding me of my Absolute Inner and Outer Bitch.

Purely from a literary point of view (although also from a feminist one) this is one hell of a great piece of writing. Kudos to you, Monnie!

 

[Lookinagain]

Unfu#ingfortunately, I suspected this was his next step. He'll likely use your diagnosis as a reason he should have full custody claiming you won't be fully able to care for your daughter.

@monarch64 He sure seems to be jumping the gun. You don't even have the results of your biopsy yet, unless something changed and I missed it. I'm sure your lawyer told you to document everything that has happened with your ex and what he has done to keep you away from your daughter. Rebut anything false that the ex is claiming. Make notes so you don't leave anything out when the time comes for the lawyer to respond to his request for full custody. Don't be nice, be honest, brutally honest.

 

[seaurchin]

I bet the daughter will want to come home soon anyway, if she doesn't already.

You're Mother. You're home. That's damn hard to compete with for long. Not to mention, it seems to be the one area where the courts favor the mother anyway imo.

And, instead of helping fix the blip of a mother-daughter spat, as you'd expect a reasonable father to do, he's apparently taken the opportunity to try to hugely widen the rift, so he can swoop in and play the self-centered, starring role of white knight.

However, it seems the kid's got spunk, like her mother. She very likely knows this feels all wrong. And I'm betting he's in for a surprise that he won't like, once the novelty wears off.

I know nobody asked me lol but I advise trying to keep everything as light as humanly possible, if you aren't already. Going through the actions of doing what you need to do with both situations, then watch a fun movie, have a nice restaurant meal and tons of light, pleasant things like that. This is a hard year but next year will be different. All you have to do is get through it, one step after another, as lightly as possible. Best good wishes, Monnie.

 

[molinePDG]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I “sold” the pearl studs I purchased from you to my mother, who has them safely away and one of us (me or my daughter) will see them again when she passes.

Your items are true heirlooms and I am so grateful I had the chance to find you through this site and purchase heirloom-quality earrings through you.

Thank you for the kind words.

Hit me up on Instagram (mention this post- a good problem to have, but I'm not the only one who monitors all the IG messages all the time anymore) and would like to get a card for well wishes and something in a care package out to you, if that's OK with you! I admit to knowing so many of PriceScope's members by their real names and very few by any usernames, so am sure I'll be reminded immediately when you say hello!

Andrew

 

[lyra]

Kids, especially. girls on the edge of adolescence are not great at making some decisions. They might also be manipulative. Both of my daughters went through this. One came out the other side as the kind nurturing person she was meant to be. The other did not. You will find out more when she is an adult. Maybe.

This is such a terrifying, horrifying life altering time for you. I'm so sorry for the pain and the bull crap of it all. You will get through. A pox on that man though. Right now your daughter doesn't know better. She'll learn or she won't. Some things are out of your hands. Work with what you've got for now.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

She's unfortunately getting a trial by fire education into being used by a narcissist parent. It will turn. It always does when the weapon realizes the wielder doesn't actually care about them.
She will come to hate him for this once she fully understands with the fullness of time what he's doing. Not just to you, but to her. He's likely burning that bridge forever.
F*ck him. Don't stop. And yes, finish with a legal curb stomp. He is unfit.

Perform your rituals and apply your paint now, mama.
For her. You will be there.

 

[Matata]

This thread makes me verklempt because of the stress that Monnie who I happen to adore is grappling with but also because, once again, this awesome PS community has rallied around a member to share wisdom, personal experience, and support. Differences, hurts, slights are put aside or forgotten and the strong sense of community that knits PS together brings out our best.

 

[Mrs_Strizzle]

@monarch64, I'm sorry you are having these struggles. I too dealt with a similar thing with my oldest and his father. I took his car away when I caught him smoking pot and driving his car with his friends and cousin with him. Instead of supporting me his father encouraged him to move to his house, promised to buy another car, and convinced him to call DFACS on me regarding his little brother. I can honestly say this was when my heart felt the most broken in my life. Much much drama and many many tears later, everything returned to center. My son came back home and now as an adult gave me the sweetest apology about the whole thing. He was a bratty teen at the time and his manipulative father used him to hurt me. Kids mature and come to see things more clearly as time goes by. Hugs, Mama.