How well do you know your friends'' closets?

[bee*]

I would never open someones closed closet doors, unless they said have a peak.

 

[decodelighted]

Forget the closets ... but I''m all up & in the medicine cabinets!!!!!!

j/k! Actually, when I was in the market for houses & doing a bunch of tours (and while I was working in real estate briefly) -- I got in the BAD habit of looking in closets & it was hard to remember when I was taking a tour of an already purchased friend''s home that it wasn''t the same kind of "tour". Yanno? Doubt I''d do it now. But I imagine real estate agents have to remind themselves not to!

 

[Echidna]

Date: 3/20/2010 3:20:13 PM
Author: jas

I''m losing perspective on what''s my own uptightness and what is sorta normal privacy. I should just walk around nekkid...either I will get over my own privacy issues quickly or no one will come over to my house anymore. Or both.

The nekkid approach works surprisingly well in my experience

My future ILs (both parents and a sister) all have keys to our house. They used to pop in at all hours of the weekend (like 7am

), fail to knock and just let themselves in. After about half a dozen very badly timed and uncomfortable visits, they started calling before they arrived. We were often still in bed but awake, if you catch my drift

Seriously though, I figured that my privacy issues were valid given that they were in my home. When we bought a house and people came over for the housewarming, I offered to give them a tour (as I was always dying to see my friends'' places but would NEVER ask) and just stood in front of things I didn''t want them to investigate so they couldn''t get inside! No one opened a single closed door (but there isn''t much storage in my house!).

PS. We''re going to renovate and the first thing I requested was moving and replacing the front door. Unfortunately, that will mean a change of locks

 

[PumpkinPie]

it''s pretty rude to open closet doors or expect friends to show you their closets - and bizarre too.. but I personally wouldn''t be that upset

 

[rierie26]

Ahahaha! Did she open the dresser drawers and medicine cabinet too?

My aunt visited me once and stayed with me while I was renting a room somewhere...she decided she would be "oh so helpful" and would organize my personal papers...nothing else, just the papers...that were put away in an plain closed box in my closet.

 

[oobiecoo]

I would probably open it if it were my best friend''s house. We act like sisters so it would be no biggie. If it were anyone else then probably not!

 

[jas]

Every cranny in my house has been nooked, every nook has been crannied. Seriously, I told DH there is something wrong with his people. They started to look under the sink in the bathroom attached to my office. I said, "Nothing there but tampons and pregnancy tests."

That worked.

Yeah, dinner was kind of awkward after that.

 

[reader]

I know everything in my best friend''s closet. We go to a lot of the same things and buy the same t-shirts. Oh yeah, and I helped him move in by washing and organizing his things.

 

[softly softly]

I absolutely would never do this, and in fact I find it hard to bring myself to open up cupboard doors when inspecting a house for sale. However, like you Jas, I suspect my approach to privacy is perhaps more absolute than others.

As far as the in-laws go, mine are also fond of showing up unannounced so I absolutely refuse to give them a key to our place. I did have cause to regret this decision recently when I locked myself and the kids out of the house early one morning and had to head over to the neighbours (whom I'd never met) while still in my pyjamas so I could call out a locksmith

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I would not have a problem with my family or husband's family opening a closet door. Looking under your sink is weird though... that's clearly for no other purpose than being nosy! At least with a closet, you're wondering about space and floor plans or something in a new home. If my mom opened my closet, it would be because she is envious of my storage space.


I don't think I'd ever open a friend's closet on a house tour. If they wanted me to see the closet, then they would open the door. I can't say I've never opened a closet door because I can't remember, but if I did, it would be a very close friend or family member. I think it's pretty obvious what people do and don't want you to see. As a previous poster mentioned, doors are closed for a reason!


As for the "reading personal cards" situation, I'm not sure why you'd display a card if you didn't want people to read it. I would never pick up someone's mail off their counter and read their bills, but if I saw a cute or funny card propped up on someone's counter (out of the envelope) I'd honestly assume it was being displayed for people to read. If you don't want it to be read by others, why would you keep it out? Maybe I'm just picturing a different situation?

 

[snlee]

That''s strange. I would never open someone''s closet door.

 

[jewelerman]

I would not open a door or drawer before being invited to do so...I also wouldn''t enter a bedroom or walk in closet without being invited to look inside even if the door is partly open.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/21/2010 2:02:35 PM
Author: snlee
That''s strange. I would never open someone''s closet door.

Agreed. If I was going on a tour of someone''s home (or office or whatever), I would let them handle opening whichever doors they wanted. I wouldn''t expect them to open their closet doors (unless they wanted to for whatever reason).

I could totally see this happening to us though, we tend to have nosey famillies/friends.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Date: 3/20/2010 9:12:42 PM
Author: Kitcha
Ahahaha! Did she open the dresser drawers and medicine cabinet too?

My aunt visited me once and stayed with me while I was renting a room somewhere...she decided she would be ''oh so helpful'' and would organize my personal papers...nothing else, just the papers...that were put away in an plain closed box in my closet.

When I lived with my aunt for a couple of months, she not only decided to sort through my underwear

, but she decided to throw some older ones out

and bought new ones to replace

And she told me not to worry since she did this all the time for my cousins...

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Yeah, I''m of the belief that if the door''s closed, it''s not available for my viewing pleasure.

I don''t think I''d ever ask to see someone''s closet. I know the state that mine is in 90% of the time, and I would hate to be put in that spot.

 

[jas]

So many new posts -- thank you all for sharing your opinions!

reader -- I surely could have used a(n organized) friend like you when I moved in!!
softly softly -- oh my! i locked myself out of the house once while in my pjs as well...fine way to meet the neighbors, isn''t it?
Guilty Pleasure -- You make really strong points and I don''t disagree...I''m certain that the door openers are super curious about layout/size/space, but yeah, under the sink? Yikes!
snlee -- hey woman! "Strange" is a good word.
jewelerman -- you are absolutely invited for a (partial) tour of my house anytime.
lilyfoot -- if/when this happens to you, let me know how you react to it...and if anything either helped you cope or stopped the snoopers.
Lady_Disdain -- I literally did this when I read your post

Eek! Was the new underwear at least cute?
LaurenthePartier -- you actually hit on something for me. I guess there is a part of me that wants to at least have the option of having a messy closet, yanno?

So it''s done. In celebration of not having to give another tour for another 6 weeks, I''m not putting my dirty clothes in the hamper tonight. Straight to the floor go they!

 

[FrekeChild]

I have seen my BFF''s closet. And her BF''s (he''s my other BFF though). In fact, I''ve helped buy or pick out more than half of their clothes. Hah!

As for opening doors of places I am touring...I''m...kind of used to it. There is a newly-built house tour thing here called the "Homes of Enchantment" and they are classified by price. The entire idea of the tours of the houses is to check out the builders and architects, so it''s become habit after years and years of looking at every nook and cranny of every house, and opening doors of half a million to multi-million dollar homes to see closets that are the size of some people''s bedrooms. Not to mention the builder/architecture firm I used to work for (and owned by family) that would build at least one 7,000 sq ft home a year, and would have been insulted if I didn''t look through every door.

Besides, in some of these homes I would have missed a couple bathrooms, a wine room and others if I didn''t open doors that I thought were potentially closets.

 

[upgrade]

I would never open a closet! I would be pretty horrified if someone opened mine too. My house is always clean... the closets? Not so much! When we moved into our house and were giving tours, if someone wanted to know they''d say something along the lines of "and is this a closet?" and I would either say ''yes'' or open it and show them, depending on the person and the level of mess behind the door!

I would never ask for a tour of someone''s house either. I''d love to be offered one, but wouldn''t ask... what if their room was a mess or they hadn''t cleaned the bathroom? I wouldn''t want to embarass anyone by putting them on the spot like that.

As for cards... I always figured if you''re displaying them, they''re for public viewing. If it''s private, put it away! I keep my cards from dh in my bedroom, tucked away because they''re just for me and him, but anything that I''ve left in the living room, kitchen, etc.. go ahead and read it!

 

[jas]

Date: 3/22/2010 11:00:41 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I have seen my BFF''s closet. And her BF''s (he''s my other BFF though). In fact, I''ve helped buy or pick out more than half of their clothes. Hah!

As for opening doors of places I am touring...I''m...kind of used to it. There is a newly-built house tour thing here called the ''Homes of Enchantment'' and they are classified by price. The entire idea of the tours of the houses is to check out the builders and architects, so it''s become habit after years and years of looking at every nook and cranny of every house, and opening doors of half a million to multi-million dollar homes to see closets that are the size of some people''s bedrooms. Not to mention the builder/architecture firm I used to work for (and owned by family) that would build at least one 7,000 sq ft home a year, and would have been insulted if I didn''t look through every door.

Besides, in some of these homes I would have missed a couple bathrooms, a wine room and others if I didn''t open doors that I thought were potentially closets.

Here''s where I''m a hypocrite -- I would LOVE to see some of those houses, and I''d be a lookie-loo.

And now I want a wine room. Or a whine room.

 

[jas]

Date: 3/22/2010 11:03:02 PM
Author: upgrade
I would never open a closet! I would be pretty horrified if someone opened mine too. My house is always clean... the closets? Not so much! When we moved into our house and were giving tours, if someone wanted to know they''d say something along the lines of ''and is this a closet?'' and I would either say ''yes'' or open it and show them, depending on the person and the level of mess behind the door!

I would never ask for a tour of someone''s house either. I''d love to be offered one, but wouldn''t ask... what if their room was a mess or they hadn''t cleaned the bathroom? I wouldn''t want to embarass anyone by putting them on the spot like that.

As for cards... I always figured if you''re displaying them, they''re for public viewing. If it''s private, put it away! I keep my cards from dh in my bedroom, tucked away because they''re just for me and him, but anything that I''ve left in the living room, kitchen, etc.. go ahead and read it!

Upgrade, you are also invited to my home anytime for a semi-tour.

(please don''t ask to look under my sink, though)

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Lady_Disdain -- I literally did this when I read your post

Eek! Was the new underwear at least cute?

Your everyday kind of underwear - nothing memorable (but, knowing that aunt, I wouldn''t put it pass her to try to "spice up" my underwear drawer

).

As for opening doors of places I am touring...I''m...kind of used to it. There is a newly-built house tour thing here called the ''Homes of Enchantment'' and they are classified by price. The entire idea of the tours of the houses is to check out the builders and architects, so it''s become habit after years and years of looking at every nook and cranny of every house, and opening doors of half a million to multi-million dollar homes to see closets that are the size of some people''s bedrooms. Not to mention the builder/architecture firm I used to work for (and owned by family) that would build at least one 7,000 sq ft home a year, and would have been insulted if I didn''t look through every door.

Show houses are a completely different thing - as you said, they were made to be looked at! So, I wouldn''t hesitate to open cabinets and closets in that situation. If I ever got to look at a multi million house, you bet I would also have peered at every little thing!

 

[FrekeChild]

But that''s the thing! They weren''t built just to look at--often these houses were completed recently and people live in them!

Now I totally feel weird about it.

(Guess how awesome it was to see some of the shoes?!?!?!)

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Did you mention... shoes? Suddenly, everything is justified

 

[jas]

Date: 3/23/2010 1:27:23 AM
Author: FrekeChild
But that''s the thing! They weren''t built just to look at--often these houses were completed recently and people live in them!

Now I totally feel weird about it.

(Guess how awesome it was to see some of the shoes?!?!?!)

Oh, I didn''t get this the first read-through. Were the closet doors open?

Seriously, though, I toured some lived-in houses at some point. It was a literal tour, docent and everything. And, yes, the shoes were to die for, but it all felt, well, un-lived in.

Shoes shoes shoes! I showed off my shoes. I was told I had a lot of shoes. I love shoes. I ignored the comment, which was not delivered with the appropriate shoe-havin'' appreciation.

 

[jas]

Date: 3/23/2010 1:14:48 AM
Author: Lady_Disdain

Lady_Disdain -- I literally did this when I read your post

Eek! Was the new underwear at least cute?

Your everyday kind of underwear - nothing memorable (but, knowing that aunt, I wouldn't put it pass her to try to 'spice up' my underwear drawer

).

For some reason, this tickles me. (Your telling of it, not the actual underwear, uh, upgrade)

 

[sunnyd]

When I was living with my ex-boyfriend his mom and sister started going through the top drawer of the nightstand (IYKWIM) looking for a hair tie of mine. I almost crapped my pants when I saw them do it. Who does that?!?!

Anywho that''s my terrible story, so NO, I wouldn''t start going through closets!

 

[doodle]

jas, you should just get one of those motion-sensored Halloween decorations, like the spiders that giggle maniacally when you set them off, and rig it up the next time the offenders are coming over. Scare the bajeebies out of ''em just once--they''ll get the message maybe.

 

[princesss]

Date: 3/23/2010 2:16:56 PM
Author: doodle
jas, you should just get one of those motion-sensored Halloween decorations, like the spiders that giggle maniacally when you set them off, and rig it up the next time the offenders are coming over. Scare the bajeebies out of ''em just once--they''ll get the message maybe.

I love you.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 3/23/2010 2:19:13 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 3/23/2010 2:16:56 PM
Author: doodle
jas, you should just get one of those motion-sensored Halloween decorations, like the spiders that giggle maniacally when you set them off, and rig it up the next time the offenders are coming over. Scare the bajeebies out of ''em just once--they''ll get the message maybe.

I love you.

Me too.

 

[jas]

Date: 3/23/2010 2:20:10 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 3/23/2010 2:19:13 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 3/23/2010 2:16:56 PM
Author: doodle
jas, you should just get one of those motion-sensored Halloween decorations, like the spiders that giggle maniacally when you set them off, and rig it up the next time the offenders are coming over. Scare the bajeebies out of ''em just once--they''ll get the message maybe.

I love you.

Me too.

Me too! Giggles! Hooray! Incomplete sentences and random interjections!