How to react to continual job promise?

[MichelleCarmen]

Way back in January, I had been promised a job by a relative and even posted about it because it would have been a long commute - 1 hour 20 minutes each way, plus daycare would run me $1280 a month. . . I didn't think it was a fit for me yet had to take it because the entire family would look down upon me for not doing so. . .okay, anyway, so I was told I'd start on a specific date and planned for that - got haircut, gave notice to volunteer work - later looking like an idiot for not actually leaving. . .

Well, the date kept getting pushed back and I was continually being told that it would happen and just to wait a bit longer because in that industry, these things happen. The issue is that I spent hours being told about the job and how great it would be and that the job was 90% but wasn't informed that the odds were reduced to only 20% because the company was laying off employees. Now here approaches May, yet who knows where it's at but last time I heard, I was suppose to start next week but am not.

The problem I'm running into is that the relative is still saying she can get me a job and now at this point, the lack of communication re: the real odds has just compounded the reasons why I don't want the job (if it were to happen) into one I will NOT take. I hate being left in the dark and cannot imagine dealing with that in the workplace! It will insult her to say, "hey look that job is not for me," because that IS her job. Also, I do not want to hear about it anymore because I'd rather shine shoes than deal with uncertainty. . .

I was going to watch two kids my kids' ages during the summer and use that as an excuse, but now my DH says he doesn't want two extra kids at our house every day after 5 pm, so that one is out unless I find kids who would leave earlier.

What would be a new good way to respond to end hearing about it? I don't want to keep pretending to be excited when instead I'm actually annoyed.

 

[omieluv]

What I would do is tactfully thank her for thinking of you for the position, however, you have thought about it at length and have decided the job would not be a good fit for you at this time. You could then talk about the 1hr 20min commute being a burden and the cost of daycare as being major factors in your decision. I would not mention the fact that you have been left hanging for a while, as that might upset her. To her defense, the economy has been quite unstable for the last few months, so there is a chance that is why the job has been delayed. Also, decision makers involved might not be in agreement as to whether they would like to bring on an additional person. Just stick to your childcare costs and the distance when you explain to her that you are not interested in the position, as those are valid reasons!

 

[perry]

I once had committments from 4 companies to hire me when my then current job ended as the plant was being closed and I was staying arround to close it. I even had formal job offer letters that were written with the understanding that I would stay to close the plant and then take a vacation. I figured to close it up right and then pick who I wanted to work for.

The industry went into a recession while I closed the plant, and hiring freezes started happening while I was taking a couple month vacation. At that point I was told by all 4 compaines that they could hire me in January. Then layoffs started in January....

2 years later 2 of those companies no longer existed - and only 1 of the managers who wrote me a job offer letter still had his job - and told me that if he could ever hire again that I'd be the very first person he would hire. It never happened.

Not being totally stupid at the time I started job hunting in January after the layoffs started - but it was a tough time. My industry cut 50,000 engineers in 3 years - and I did lots of interesting odd and self employment jobs - and it was abouit a decade before I got another really decent job.

My advice to you: Don't wait on that offer - and restart job hunting. If you are still unemployed and that job offer materializes - then you can take it. However, keep loooking for a better oportunity. A promise to hire you at a future date is not worth much without a signed contract.

A job is nothing more than a temporary work situation until something better comes along. Usually you have to look for that something better. Sometimes you get a decent one - and I've been at my current job for over 8 years. Yet, just last weekend I started entertaining significant thoughts about is it time to move on. I want to stay through at least next spring to ensure that one project is done right.... but after that....

Perry

 

[omieluv]

Date: 4/24/2009 4:39:46 PM
Author: perry
I once had committments from 4 companies to hire me when my then current job ended as the plant was being closed and I was staying arround to close it. I even had formal job offer letters that were written with the understanding that I would stay to close the plant and then take a vacation. I figured to close it up right and then pick who I wanted to work for.

The industry went into a recession while I closed the plant, and hiring freezes started happening while I was taking a couple month vacation. At that point I was told by all 4 compaines that they could hire me in January. Then layoffs started in January....

2 years later 2 of those companies no longer existed - and only 1 of the managers who wrote me a job offer letter still had his job - and told me that if he could ever hire again that I''d be the very first person he would hire. It never happened.

Not being totally stupid at the time I started job hunting in January after the layoffs started - but it was a tough time. My industry cut 50,000 engineers in 3 years - and I did lots of interesting odd and self employment jobs - and it was abouit a decade before I got another really decent job.

My advice to you: Don''t wait on that offer - and restart job hunting. If you are still unemployed and that job offer materializes - then you can take it. However, keep loooking for a better oportunity. A promise to hire you at a future date is not worth much without a signed contract.

A job is nothing more than a temporary work situation until something better comes along. Usually you have to look for that something better. Sometimes you get a decent one - and I''ve been at my current job for over 8 years. Yet, just last weekend I started entertaining significant thoughts about is it time to move on. I want to stay through at least next spring to ensure that one project is done right.... but after that....

Perry

Exactly! About 3 years ago, I bailed on my permanent job with a fairly solid Fortune 500 company to work as a contractor for an even better company on the Fortune 500 list (ranks in the top 5). My friends thought I was crazy to take a role as a contractor, however, I really needed a change at that point and the job with the new company sounded much more interesting. My friends stated that I should not leave my current job due to the fact that contractors do not have job security, which I suppose is true to an extent. This was three years ago and I am still a contractor at the same company and have worked in different roles since then & have had a great experience. However, I cannot say the same for my friends, as most of them have become unemployed from their "premanent" jobs. I was actually offered a permanent job with the copmany last year, however, I did not want to relo for it.

I also agree with Perry in that it is not good to place all of your eggs in one basket. Companies, especially in this point in time are not very reliable in terms of employment. They will hire people on and then let them go in 6 months if the company is not able to keep its head above water in this economy.

 

[AmberGretchen]

I really think in your place I would be searching for another position. Because if you get another job offer, you could really have a legitimate excuse to just cut off all the uncertainty and waiting.

I''m sorry you are in this position MC - it would drive me nuts as well, flaky people really make me nuts

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 4/24/2009 8:56:43 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
I really think in your place I would be searching for another position. Because if you get another job offer, you could really have a legitimate excuse to just cut off all the uncertainty and waiting.

I''m sorry you are in this position MC - it would drive me nuts as well, flaky people really make me nuts

ditto.