How often do you get lectured?

[jewelz617]

Date: 2/6/2010 10:45:49 PM
Author: packrat
Pink, next time, snap your heels together, puff your chest out, hand up in salute and yell ''SIR YES SIR!'' I used to do that to my dad when he''d lecture me about how I wasn''t doing ''whatever'' properly..like cutting asparagus the right way or whatever Jim felt was not to his specifications.


Another one we used was ''You''re not the boss of me'' And say it like you''re 5. I love it..scrunch your eyes all up and look irritated and pretend you''re a little kid telling that to another little kid. hahaha works nicely. Or, it did on my dad anyway. ''Hey, yeah, yer not the boss of me JIM!''


At first, dad was TICKED OFF when I''d do it and finally he yelled ''I''m your Father, don''t speak to me like that!'' And I said, well, I''m your daughter and I''m an adult and if you''re going to talk to me like I''m 5, I''m going to sass you back like I''m 5.

Hahaha! I love it. I''m definitely just venting here, but everyone''s opinion has been helpful. Lectures only bug me when they are coming from someone I care about, other than that it''s just annoying.

 

[MissMina]

Just my mother. She is almost 90 and there will
come a time when she won''t be around so I let
her have her say Then do what I want.

It is usually about something silly.
Last time was because I told her I wasn''t going
to watch the Golden Globe Awards. She told me
I would miss Lady GaGa. I don''t even know
who that is.

Since today is Super Bowl Sunday I know
I can expect a call in the middle of it
asking what I''m doing. She KNOWS we never
miss a Super Bowl. She is not in the least
forgetful.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 2/7/2010 7:45:44 AM
Author: vc10um

Date: 2/7/2010 4:27:25 AM

Author: swedish bean

How often? Probably when I deserve it.

Ditto, SB. Ditto.

Thanks so much for your input! Have a fantastic day!

 

[soocool]

Get a squirt bottle and spray him when the lecturing starts. (speaking from experience) Works like a charm!

 

[whitby_2773]

well, both my parents are deceased (in my 20's) and i moved to the other side of the world, which pretty much took care of the rest.

so that only leaves my husband....

i dont mind being lectured if it's done by someone who truly cares about me. but there's a fine line between lecturing (which i dont mind) and nagging (which i DO!)

occasionally tim and i nag each other, but not often. i remember some years ago i was swinging on the front legs of the chair in my office. he came in and started giving me the lecture about not swinging on my chair and how it could slip and i could hurt myself and how it left marks in the floor etcetcetc. i was responding with 'but there's no wheels on this chair and the chair's too short, so i swing on it to get closer to the computer and etcetcetc'

he kept lecturing and when he paused for breath i said "stop nagging me!"

he said -

"well i wouldnt *have* to nag you if you'd just do things the right way!"

about 4 words into that, he heard just how much like his parents he sounded and had the grace to start laughing. by the time he got to the end of the sentence he could hardly get the words out he was laughing so hard. it was a very funny moment in self realization and marital interaction.

normally if he nags me (eg putting my computer on the floor where, in the past, the dogs have knocked over a glass of water and shorted out my hard drive) i'll respond with -

"listen, tim. i've spent all my life and most of my money getting to this point, so i could buy this house, get THIS computer, and make the conscious choice to put it on the floor - SPECIFICALLY so i could take the risk of having the dogs i've raised and paid for knock a glass of water onto it and short the damn thing out. this is the benefit of having 2 deceased parents and being an adult."

this is never said aggressively tho - more normally with a hint of a chuckle under the surface. if i was doing something that *truly* bothered him (and i know the difference) i'd stop. as would he. we work in harmony pretty well.

as far as i'm concerned, one of the benefits of being an adult is being able to get up in the middle of the night and eat cupcakes - if that's what you wanna do. you get to leave your stuff messy if you want. and i have the right to swing on my chair and scratch the floor i bought and paid for if that's what suits me.

adulthood - yay!

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 2/7/2010 2:07:47 PM
Author: whitby_2773
well, both my parents are deceased (in my 20''s) and i moved to the other side of the world, which pretty much took care of the rest.


so that only leaves my husband....


i dont mind being lectured if it''s done by someone who truly cares about me. but there''s a fine line between lecturing (which i dont mind) and nagging (which i DO!)


occasionally tim and i nag each other, but not often. i remember some years ago i was swinging on the front legs of the chair in my office. he came in and started giving me the lecture about not swinging on my chair and how it could slip and i could hurt myself and how it left marks in the floor etcetcetc. i was responding with ''but there''s no wheels on this chair and the chair''s too short, so i swing on it to get closer to the computer and etcetcetc''


he kept lecturing and when he paused for breath i said ''stop nagging me!''


he said -


''well i wouldnt *have* to nag you if you''d just do things the right way!''


about 4 words into that, he heard just how much like his parents he sounded and had the grace to start laughing. by the time he got to the end of the sentence he could hardly get the words out he was laughing so hard. it was a very funny moment in self realization and marital interaction.


normally if he nags me (eg putting my computer on the floor where, in the past, the dogs have knocked over a glass of water and shorted out my hard drive) i''ll respond with -


''listen, tim. i''ve spent all my life and most of my money getting to this point, so i could buy this house, get THIS computer, and make the conscious choice to put it on the floor - SPECIFICALLY so i could take the risk of having the dogs i''ve raised and paid for knock a glass of water onto it and short the damn thing out. this is the benefit of having 2 deceased parents and being an adult.''


this is never said aggressively tho - more normally with a hint of a chuckle under the surface. if i was doing something that *truly* bothered him (and i know the difference) i''d stop. as would he. we work in harmony pretty well.


as far as i''m concerned, one of the benefits of being an adult is being able to get up in the middle of the night and eat cupcakes - if that''s what you wanna do. you get to leave your stuff messy if you want. and i have the right to swing on my chair and scratch the floor i bought and paid for if that''s what suits me.


adulthood - yay!

Ha! That sounds just like my husband and I!

Last time he lectured me about not using wire hangers on his work shirts because they don''t "hang right." I started yelling "NO WIRE HANGERS!!! NOOOOO WIRE HANGERS!"

He was like "Have you lost your mind?!"

Silly me, I always assume everyone has seen Mommy Dearest

 

[CJ2008]

Oh man. I don't know if I do this sometimes. Yikes.

Is lecturing correcting the way someone does something? And is it ever appropriate? Like, for example, can we assume that PERHAPS person said something because he/she assumes other person didn't realize the problem/issue with doing it their way? (i.e., in Whitby's case - maybe husband was just warning her about the spilled water in case she didn't realize? At what point does it become a lecture?)

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 2/7/2010 3:14:25 PM
Author: CJ2008
Oh man. I don''t know if I do this sometimes. Yikes.


Is lecturing correcting the way someone does something? And is it ever appropriate? Like, for example, can we assume that PERHAPS person said something because he/she assumes other person didn''t realize the problem/issue with doing it their way? (i.e., in Whitby''s case - maybe husband was just warning her about the spilled water in case she didn''t realize? At what point does it become a lecture?)

In my opinion, something becomes a "lecture" when the person won''t just say what they want and drop it. It makes me crazy when someone just keeps going on and on and on about something that really doesn''t warrant a long discussion or argument.

Sometimes when my husband does this, it gets to a point where I just want to say "Ok, I heard you the first time, why are you STILL talking about this?"

I have no problem with someone telling me they don''t like something or criticizing me, but say what you have to and leave it alone. I''m a grown woman with a child, lectures are for children (and even then it''s insulting to their intelligence most of the time).

 

[radiantquest]

Date: 2/7/2010 2:15:46 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 2/7/2010 2:07:47 PM
Author: whitby_2773
well, both my parents are deceased (in my 20''s) and i moved to the other side of the world, which pretty much took care of the rest.


so that only leaves my husband....


i dont mind being lectured if it''s done by someone who truly cares about me. but there''s a fine line between lecturing (which i dont mind) and nagging (which i DO!)


occasionally tim and i nag each other, but not often. i remember some years ago i was swinging on the front legs of the chair in my office. he came in and started giving me the lecture about not swinging on my chair and how it could slip and i could hurt myself and how it left marks in the floor etcetcetc. i was responding with ''but there''s no wheels on this chair and the chair''s too short, so i swing on it to get closer to the computer and etcetcetc''


he kept lecturing and when he paused for breath i said ''stop nagging me!''


he said -


''well i wouldnt *have* to nag you if you''d just do things the right way!''


about 4 words into that, he heard just how much like his parents he sounded and had the grace to start laughing. by the time he got to the end of the sentence he could hardly get the words out he was laughing so hard. it was a very funny moment in self realization and marital interaction.


normally if he nags me (eg putting my computer on the floor where, in the past, the dogs have knocked over a glass of water and shorted out my hard drive) i''ll respond with -


''listen, tim. i''ve spent all my life and most of my money getting to this point, so i could buy this house, get THIS computer, and make the conscious choice to put it on the floor - SPECIFICALLY so i could take the risk of having the dogs i''ve raised and paid for knock a glass of water onto it and short the damn thing out. this is the benefit of having 2 deceased parents and being an adult.''


this is never said aggressively tho - more normally with a hint of a chuckle under the surface. if i was doing something that *truly* bothered him (and i know the difference) i''d stop. as would he. we work in harmony pretty well.


as far as i''m concerned, one of the benefits of being an adult is being able to get up in the middle of the night and eat cupcakes - if that''s what you wanna do. you get to leave your stuff messy if you want. and i have the right to swing on my chair and scratch the floor i bought and paid for if that''s what suits me.


adulthood - yay!

Ha! That sounds just like my husband and I!

Last time he lectured me about not using wire hangers on his work shirts because they don''t ''hang right.'' I started yelling ''NO WIRE HANGERS!!! NOOOOO WIRE HANGERS!''

He was like ''Have you lost your mind?!''

Silly me, I always assume everyone has seen Mommy Dearest

That is so funny. When I first started hanging out at DHs house when we were dating I got rid of all the metal hangers. He had like 4 plastic and the rest were metal. I hate them. He came home and complained that I had replaced all the hangers with the thicker hangers that take up more room. Needless to say that there has never been another wire hanger in the house since. (Except for the ones from the dry cleaners and they get thrown out right away.)