How often do you face-palm yourself

[madelise]

About something you do or say?



I've been saying/writing some DUMB things lately, that are offensive…. without realizing how offensive they are until I look back and reread, or think back to a conversation. I am scared I've been doing this my whole life without realizing it.

SO and I bumped into an old HS friend this weekend, who is in pharm school at USC. I know he is working his ass off, and I know he is a great worker and is very studious. We bumped into him at a study cafe. I asked about his plans upon graduation, and he said he was looking into research > clinical work. I said, "Oh that will be so challenging! That's a great option! I hear it's so hard to get jobs in hospitals now.." and babbled on a bit, trying to sound happy for him that he's thinking about research. Eventually that conversation ended, and a few hours pass when we leave. SO told me that I had basically said that pharmacy work isn't challenging by saying research may be a better fit.. and by that, I had basically called him stupid or his field stupid. WHICH IS DEFINITELY NOT MY THOUGHTS AT ALL. I tried to rethink of my exact words, recalling what it was that I exactly said, but SO said I worded everything so inappropriately. It's been since Friday, and I'm still face palming myself. I am seriously thinking about calling that friend up to apologize. I didn't mean at all what I said.

A few years ago, I was talking to an older coworker of mine that I grew very close to. She was the director of marketing at the hospital I worked at, and my boss was her coworker, the director of patient/physician/client relations. She was "above" me, but not my supervisor. I grew very close with her, and would talk to her about my life, while she would talk to me about her life and her daughters' lives. Her eldest was just a few years younger than me, so she always asked me for advice from a daughter's perspective. We got along great. When her daughter graduated HS, she searched for MONTHS for a job. One day, my coworker came up to me to tell me that her daughter applied for a large chain store, and got an interview the next day, and got offered the job right at the interview. Instead of saying congratulations, I said, "WOW, they must really need people!" I totally didn't think anything, and our conversation ended…. 5 minutes later, after she walked away, I felt all the blood rush away from my face. W.T.F. did I just say?! I was attempting to say that it was such a quick process, and lucky her for finding a great opportunity and bumping into great chances… Because I've applied to that same chain store years prior, and it took them months to do the hiring process so I gave up on them. No, my dumba$$ self didn't say "Congratulations for your daughter!", I basically said that I was shocked anybody would hire her. But I didn't mean that. It's been YEARS, and I still feel guilty.



This is just one of my more recent examples, and one of my most embarrassing examples. There are a MILLION more, and I swear it's been happening more and more often. I should just sew my hand to my face, to save my efforts of face-palming all the time.


So. I'm an idiot. Please share your stories, so I don't feel like the only idiot walking on this planet!!

 

[Tuckins1]

Many times. I am a teacher, so I am around crazy, silly kids all day long. But mostly, its the adults that make me crazy!!!

 

[rubybeth]

Oh, my gosh, I do this all the time, but I blame it on social anxiety. It's like thinking of the perfect retort to a mean comment... an hour after the conversation has ended. I often don't realize I'm being insensitive until much later.

I *still* feel embarrassed about a conversation with a friend that happened years ago. I knew she was struggling financially, and I guess I was trying to be sympathetic by telling her about a family member of mine who had declared bankruptcy. I know that I sounded like a jerk, though, and I wish I could go back and undo that conversation. This friend is a very forgiving person and she knows me pretty well, so I'm sure she knows I wasn't trying to be mean, but still...

Long story short, I had previously had an experience with this same friend when she was trying to get pregnant with her second child, buy a house, and get a dog, all within the same year. She was super stressed about getting pregnant, and I told her she just needed to relax and let things happen naturally. She got pregnant within a couple months, and thanked me for the advice. Then, they bought a 100 year old house. With lead paint. Which she couldn't help remove/paint over because of being pregnant. I kept quiet about that. THEN they moved in and she wanted to get a dog. I warned her that dogs can be expensive, because a co-worker had recently spent thousands on her dog, treating a liver disease. She ended up falling in love with a dog who had a leg infection. Which didn't clear up with antibiotics, so needed to be amputated. And they didn't have the money, of course, because of having a baby and a house. She later told me that she didn't want to tell me about the dog being sick, because she knew I was right. I apologized profusely, but I still feel badly about that whole situation. It makes me very cautious about what I say to her, because I really don't want to lose her friendship. I am glad that she has forgiven my stupidity.

 

[minousbijoux]

All. The. Time.

Whats worse is that half the time I feel the need to go back, bring it up again and apologize only to find out that they hadn't noticed the first time...but now that I've pointed it out!

 

[Dee*Jay]

More times that I can count... !

But put the stuff I actually SAY aside for a moment--the stuff I *email*... oy yoy yoy... !!!

And whoever invented the "reply all" button should be shot...

 

[Haven]

Oh, too often.

The most recent was an email that I sent to my mom, but it was intended for my husband. (I shared this on PS, I'm sure.) Basically, I wrote two lines saying that I was pissed my mom always relied on us to go to her house to let her dog out when she had neighbors whom she constantly helped. It was a bad day, I was being pissy in general, and I do not mind going to her house to do anything. But I still sent it. OH BOY, was that bad.

I did two things while teaching high school that will forever haunt me. I'm sure I've shared these here before, too.

The first happened when I was introducing oral presentation skills to a huge (38 student) sophomore class. I stood up in front of them and proceeded to start my original oratory with, "Today I'm going to teach you how to give good oral (paaaaauuuuuuse just long enough to elicit hysterical laughter from said sophomores . . . ) presentations." I typically don't have a problem maintaining order in my classroom. Not so on that day.

The second is really terrible, and I still feel that horrible dread in the pit of my stomach every time I think back on it. I was teaching a group of sophomores, and we were talking about something important, some assignment or thing they had to do the following week. Just then a student pass-runner I didn't know came in to deliver some passes. I had never seen the student pass-runner before, but he had a HUGE black eye. (This wasn't uncommon in that school, we had a big gang problem and students often had black eyes and other injuries.) Well, being the oh-so-clever individual that I am, I said, "And see, this is what will happen if you don't complete this work," and I motioned to the student with the black eye. He smiled, left the room, and I was met with stoney silence until one of my students said, "Um, Miss Haven, that wasn't a black eye, that's a birthmark."
Not only was it a totally inappropriate thing to joke about in the first place (face-palm #1), it was a freaking birthmark!
I have never felt worse in my entire life. I got the student's name and had a colleague take over my class so I could find him and grovel, I mean, apologize. He was very gracious and told me it happened all the time, but I felt awful. And I still do.

 

[zoebartlett]

These are great, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who does this on a regular basis. I have a bad habit of beginning conversations in my head and then blurting out the next part of the conversation with no context given. It sounds so stupid when it comes out and then I have to back track and tell the person what came before that...the part that I was thinking but never said aloud. ETA: Haven, I read your post after writing mine. I'm sure the boy understood.

For example, I tutor once a week. I met with this little boy yesterday and his dad asked me when he came to pick him up what he owed me. I get paid on a monthly basis, at the beginning of each month. I said "take away $X." The father looked at me blankly and repeated "how much?" I then realized that I was doing the math in my head and he should subtract $X amount for 2 days I had been paid but didn't work (I was sick once, and school was cancelled another time.). It made perfect sense in my head but not when I answered him aloud.

Actually, in writing this, I'm face-palming myself because I know I'm babbling and I'm not writing concisely. Nervous habit I guess. I have so many other things I could mention but I've conveniently forgotten them at the moment. Trust me though, I do this a LOT.

 

[madelise]

I have a bad habit of beginning conversations in my head and then blurting out the next part of the conversation with no context given.

OHMYGOD, I do this too! It's especially worse when I think out a conversation or situation, and burst out LAUGHING out of nowhere. WORSE, when it's in the middle of a conversation about something else, and I was supposed to be listening! UGH.

I hate my brain sometimes.. but I find solace that I'm not the only person that face palms myself often.


Minous - the only reason I don't bring it up to them is because I'm scared they didn't even notice in the first place! That's why I haven't yet called my pharmacy-friend. But if SO can catch these horrible slips of the tongue, I'm scared they do, too, and they're just too awkward to confront me about it!






I really hate my brain. I lose so many darn meanings when I translate my thoughts into words. Ugh. I've even caught myself when looking at my old posts here on PS.. I want to slap myself for sounding rude, or sounding like I had an anterior motive/agenda.. or whatever. I say the stupidest things. I should make, "they'll never know you're stupid if you don't speak" my mantra.. but I can't shut up.

The perks of this realization? When others say mean sounding things, I totally brush it off, or think of the more positive meanings. My friend recently complained of a classmate telling her "it's only money", and my friend got really upset. I kept insisting the woman was not trying to shove her own money, and my friend's lack of money down her throat… but is instead reasoning to herself her own situation. I *KNOW* she didn't mean to say anything mean, because I'd be the idiot to say the same thing!


Well, at least I'm finding some solace in knowing I'm not the only one. ..