HOW MANY BANK ACCTS DO YOU HAVE?

[madelise]

And what is each account designated for? If you have an SO that you intermingle your assets with, please count the total amongst the both of yourselves. How do you divvy up the %'s for stuff?

I promise I'm not trying to ask personal information about how MUCH you have, this is more asking about the organization and how it works for you, or you+yours. I've been reading a bunch of tips online for money management, but each article comes with the 50/50 split of commenters liking/disliking the proposed plan, without much details to their opinions.

SO and I have yet to plan out our finances, for when we do move in together. We've had mini-conversations, but no solid plan. With financial power struggle being one of the top reasons for divorce, I would love all of your proven-to-work suggestions to avoid being another statistic

Keep in mind to please also advise on the next 3 years, where I will be taking loans to go to school, instead of contributing. Any "action plans" are greatly appreciated. (I'm also sure I won't be the only one learning from this thread, since we do have tons of LIWs, brides-to-be, and newly weds!!!!)



I've never had to share anything before lol.

 

[iheartscience]

We have 1 checking and 1 savings account. All of our bills come out of the checking and we put X amount in savings each month. I keep a decent amount of $ in the checking because I just check my account online and don't use a check register.

I have most bills on auto-pay and then I pay the rest myself. I get email alerts so it's easy to remember to pay them. I'm in charge of all financial stuff because I'm better at it than my husband is.

 

[sonnyjane]

Ehh what works for us probably won't work for everyone. We each have our own checking and our own savings. My SO pays the rent in full because he gets a housing stipend through work. If he didn't then I would contribute an equal percentage. For example, of I make $40K and he makes $80K and rent is $1,800, then I would pay $600 and he would pay $1,200 (equal percentages of our income). We have separate retirement accounts and then our savings accounts are for our play money/emergency funds.

 

[chrono]

We have many individual accounts but only one joint checking to pay household expenses like the mortgage, utilities and other major joint household expenses. Most are auto deducted and usually, I'm the one to issue the checks and balance the books. Deposits are also taken out automatically from our paychecks, per the % of income. We put in more than the expenses to build up a safety net cushion.

All other personal expenses like food, clothes and car expenses are from our separate accounts. Savings are also done separately.

 

[ForteKitty]

We have 1 joint checking, 1 savings, and we each kept one personal checking because we wanted to keep our paypal separate. We both use it quite a bit for ebay.

Everything (mortgage, utilities bills, cc) come out of joint checking. We try to charge as much as possible on our joint card because we get a lot of cash back, and we always pay everything off right away. I don't believe in paying interest!! He used to prefer cash, but he's come around to my frugal ways.

We had this grand financial plan laid out before we got the house (his money and my money, %, yada yada), but after putting down 26% for the downpayment (13% each), the difference between our personal leftover didn't seem like enough to justify all that work. We also bring in about the same amount of money, so doing all that work for a few hundred dollars difference between his and my check each pay period seemed pretty silly. So we joined everything. It was the best decision ever. We're lazy.

 

[Rhea]

Mine:
1 current (checking) account
1 ISA account (nothing completely similar in the US)
1 savings account
1 credit card
some money in savings bonds

His:
Not sure, I know he has an ISA, credit card, current account, and savings bonds

Ours:
1 current account
no joint credit card
3 savings accounts

We had completely joint accounts for 5 years, but it didn't work for us. We separated most accounts and have since both saved more, gotten better paying jobs, and he's completely self-employed while I have a 2nd part-time self-employed job. We haven't yet figured out what to do with money and haven't thought about it much. We need business accounts for both of us. Right now business and personal are intermixed, which is fine as long as we keep track of our own - which is easier to do as individual rather than a couple. We'll figure it out eventually, we have time!

 

[atp223]

we just combined pretty much everything, and now have way too many bank accounts. i'm curious to see whether this set up will be good or bad - I will let you know in a few months!

we have 6 accounts between the two of us now:

- joint long term savings account, never to be touched -- recently established
- joint short term savings account, for furniture, car taxes, vacations, etc. -- recently established
- joint checking for bills - established when we moved in together a little over a year ago. our rent used to come out of this account, but now we have a separate account through the bank our mortgage is with that we are required to use the first 3 months to pay the mortgage, so we decided to just go with it
- joint checking acct for mortgage (see above)
- my checking acct
- his checking acct

we're approximately equal earners, so we set up direct deposit and we contribute approximately the same amount each to the various joint accounts, and then we're left with about the same amount each in our individual checking accounts (very small percentage of each paycheck) that we use for our own expenses (e.g., shopping, going out, lunch on workdays, etc.).

i've never really tried abiding by a budget before, but my fiance is very into them, and he manages to save way more money than I do, sooo we're giving his way a try!

 

[Dancing Fire]

i have one checking account.i don't know how many accounts my wife have...

 

[Dancing Fire]

SO and I have yet to plan out our finances, for when we do move in together. We've had mini-conversations, but no solid plan. With financial power struggle being one of the top reasons for divorce, I would love all of your proven-to-work suggestions to avoid being another statistic

that's the reason why my wife and i never talk about money...

 

[atp223]

SO and I have yet to plan out our finances, for when we do move in together. We've had mini-conversations, but no solid plan. With financial power struggle being one of the top reasons for divorce, I would love all of your proven-to-work suggestions to avoid being another statistic

that's the reason why my wife and i never talk about money...

Since you asked for "proven-to-work" suggestions, I WILL add that having the one joint checking account for living expenses when we were cohabitating but not engaged made everything a lot easier (rent, bills, groceries, meals we ate together, dry cleaning, etc., came out of that account, and everything else was kept separate). Instead of going to dinner and either splitting it or figuring out who had paid for what recently, we just used the joint account. We still use it for everything/anything we do together and for all of our bills. Since we earn about the same, we contribute equally; but even if one of you earns more than the other, if you just stick to percentages, I think it would still feel like you were JOINTLY paying for things (rather than one of you feeling like they always got stuck paying). It was fun .

If you're planning to combine finances/live together before you get married, I think starting with one joint checking account for living expenses is a good way to start.

 

[Dancing Fire]

SO and I have yet to plan out our finances, for when we do move in together. We've had mini-conversations, but no solid plan. With financial power struggle being one of the top reasons for divorce, I would love all of your proven-to-work suggestions to avoid being another statistic

that's the reason why my wife and i never talk about money...

Since you asked for "proven-to-work" suggestions, I WILL add that having the one joint checking account for living expenses when we were cohabitating but not engaged made everything a lot easier (rent, bills, groceries, meals we ate together, dry cleaning, etc., came out of that account, and everything else was kept separate). Instead of going to dinner and either splitting it or figuring out who had paid for what recently, we just used the joint account. We still use it for everything/anything we do together and for all of our bills. Since we earn about the same, we contribute equally; but even if one of you earns more than the other, if you just stick to percentages, I think it would still feel like you were JOINTLY paying for things (rather than one of you feeling like they always got stuck paying). It was fun .

If you're planning to combine finances/live together before you get married, I think starting with one joint checking account for living expenses is a good way to start.

my wife have been cheating me for the past 27 yrs....

 

[chrono]

Hey DF,
It's called romancing your wife.

 

[Missy]

We have one checking and 2 savings accounts (with the ability to write checks). No fees with any of our accounts and all are joint accounts. All our money is intermingled. We have never had any major money disagreements. I think we would have had major problems if we "split" expenses. My dh's money is mine and vice versa. There is no distinction. That is what works for us and ofc many people do the opposite and that works for them. It all depends on your philosophy. We are a team working towards the same goal and that is why everything is joint. The only separate accounts we have are our 401K/IRA accounts- retirement accounts have to be individual. But we are each other's beneficiary.

Madelise, you are right in that money is one of the big reasons people have problems in their marriage. My dad gave me some sage advice when my dh and I got engaged. He said money isn't worth fighting over and I agree 100%. But ofc that only works if your partner and you share similar viewpoints/sensibilities regarding financial decisions. But when I get upset over anything having to do with money I remember my dad's advice and we always work it out. It's just not worth it.

Good luck with deciding what you guys want to do. Remember, what you decide now doesn't have to be permanent. Your choices may change over time- and that's OK. Life is a work in progress- nothing remains static for very long. Congratulations on your upcoming move!

 

[Puppmom]

We have one checking and two savings - all joint. We pay bills etc. from the checking and move x dollars to savings each month. The reason for the two savings accounts is keeping our "emergency savings" separate from our "we're saving up for something" savings.

We used to have a separate checking that was strictly for online transactions but it got a little sticky and DH overdrafted twice so we got rid of it.

 

[MustangGal]

We were really young (and broke) when we got married, so we combined our accounts. 11 years later we have 1 checking account, 1 savings account, retirement accounts with our own employers, 1 credit card each that is not linked to eachother, and I have 2 store credit cards. I make a lot more than DH, but to us, once we were married all assets became "ours" and not "his" or "hers".

But, each couple has to work out what will be best for them. I'd talk it over and see how you'll both think of money once you're married.

 

[TaterTots]

We have a checking account for bills and he has a savings for items he wants and I have one for things I would like to purchase then we have a savings together that we just don't touch. Works out pretty good that way.

 

[eh613c]

We have a joint checking account and each of us have our own separate accounts as well. Basically when we got married we just opened an account with both of our names. When I worked, most of my check was deposited to the joint and about $200 to my own account. Same with DH. Now that I'm not working, I still have my account but no activity.

 

[Narwhal]

We currently have 7 between us.
We each have our own personal checking and savings where our paychecks get deposited. I have one old savings at my home town that my mom puts very small stock dividends in from many years ago when my dad had to be on the stocks because I was a minor. Probably time to change that

Then we have our joint checking and savings.

We have been living together for years before we got the joint accounts. Best thing ever as stated in other posts. We originally were doing 50/50 on rent and flip flopping on who paid for groceries/pet supplies/eating out etc. But then we just dumped equal parts into the joint and pay from that.

But since we moved and I took a significantly decreased salary, I am a mooch. He pays for all rent, utilities and most other big expenses. He was the one that saved for our wedding costs. So now, he puts X amounts in the accounts and I pay the bills online or send checks.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Hey DF,
It's called romancing your wife.

she been ripping me off for the past 27 yrs...

 

[madelise]

Thanks for sharing, everyone. They're all giving me some tinkering to do. In definitely foresee us coming to a few bumps while trying to figure this out.


How do you figure out your own fun money? Percentages? Dollar amount?
What about when kids come into the picture? Do you have separate savings accounts made out for each child?
What about BEFORE conception of children? Did you save up money in anticipation of having a growing family? Was that kept in a separate account?

 

[armywife13]

DH and I have joint accounts, it works easier manage the money, especially since there are stretches of time(training or deployments) where he cannot be reached. We have one checking account and two saving accounts(one for emergencies and a money market account for more permanent savings).
We do have savings account for our daughter, it is a money market account as well. Whenever she gets money for holidays or her birthday, it goes in there. We also deposit money monthly into that and her 529 for college.

 

[ForteKitty]

Since we are still in the process of furnishing the house, we're putting everything into joint for now. Once the place is completely done, we'll likely keep a set amount each.

Keeping a percentage might seem more fair, but I've learned that resentment will grow over time if one partner has double or triple the play money. Especially if the partner who is making less money is the one doing more housework and/or taking care of the kids more.

My friend had that issue, and all the counting pennies led to their ultimate separation. He started feeling and acting superior because he was making about 60% more than her (they both work 40 hr weeks), so he felt he "deserved" to make more of the family decisions, and she needed to do more housework because she contributes less financially.

 

[madelise]

Keeping a percentage might seem more fair, but I've learned that resentment will grow over time if one partner has double or triple the play money. Especially if the partner who is making less money is the one doing more housework and/or taking care of the kids more.

My friend had that issue, and all the counting pennies led to their ultimate separation. He started feeling and acting superior because he was making about 60% more than her (they both work 40 hr weeks), so he felt he "deserved" to make more of the family decisions, and she needed to do more housework because she contributes less financially.

Thank you for this. I would have never thought of the % creating a power struggle.

 

[chrono]

First we figured out all the fixed expenses and added a bit of cushion. That is the amount that is required each month from the joint checking account. From there, we both worked out the % of our salaries that is required, so the higher earner contributes more and the lower earner contributes less but the total amount has to add up to that worked out amount. I don't see how this can possibly end up in a power struggle because the higher earner pays more and so has "less" money to play around with and the lower earner pays less and so has "more" money to play around with. If he's acting all superior and stuff, then to me, it means that he no longer respects her as an equal.

The remaining of my salary goes into 401K and other personal expenses (car loan, insurance, petrol, money set aside for gift giving and eating out, savings, etc). Whatever is left becomes my fun money. This amount is variable because sometimes those expenses are higher or lower for that month. Whatever I don't use, I accumulate for the future, whereby I can either save it or splurge a larger amount of money.

Each child has their own savings account. Presents of cash are deposited into this account. We also contribute monthly to this account.
No, we did not save up money for the children prior to having them. In those days, we just socked away a larger amount of money. As you can tell, we are huge on saving.

 

[ForteKitty]

First we figured out all the fixed expenses and added a bit of cushion. That is the amount that is required each month from the joint checking account. From there, we both worked out the % of our salaries that is required, so the higher earner contributes more and the lower earner contributes less but the total amount has to add up to that worked out amount. I don't see how this can possibly end up in a power struggle because the higher earner pays more and so has "less" money to play around with and the lower earner pays less and so has "more" money to play around with. If he's acting all superior and stuff, then to me, it means that he no longer respects her as an equal.

My friend didn't do a percentage split based on salary, which would have been 30%-her/70%-him. They each kept 10% net, and put the rest into joint, which is one of the scenarios Madelise mentioned. The difference does add up after a while, and I guess he felt as if he was putting in significantly more than his fair share.

 

[Maria D]

wow, what complicated scenarios!

I just adopted this mantra early on: What's mine is mine and what's yours is ours.

 

[chrono]

ForteKitty,
I get the scenario now. This is why I prefer the % based off salary contribution calculation.

 

[aljdewey]

We have one checking and 2 savings accounts (with the ability to write checks). No fees with any of our accounts and all are joint accounts. All our money is intermingled. We have never had any major money disagreements. I think we would have had major problems if we "split" expenses. My dh's money is mine and vice versa. There is no distinction. That is what works for us and ofc many people do the opposite and that works for them. It all depends on your philosophy. We are a team working towards the same goal and that is why everything is joint. The only separate accounts we have are our 401K/IRA accounts- retirement accounts have to be individual. But we are each other's beneficiary.

I think that's great and it's wonderful that works for you. But if I'm being honest, I have to say it feels like the implication is that people who don't combine finances are somehow less of a team or not working toward common goals and I do very much disagree.

For me, being a team or working toward joint goals is the philosophy. It's the plan, not the execution. There are multiple successful ways to get to the plan, and I really do believe the best methodology is whichever one works best for any individual couple.

I'll give an example. In my case, hub and I met quite late when both of us were both firmly established captains of our respective financial ships. Hub had been married previously in a marriage where they did combine everything, and it led to constant fights and resentments about fairness and spending habits. For us, joint financial control and feeling equally financially empowered was far more important to harmony than joint accounts.

We each maintain our own checkings and savings accounts, and we also have a joint checking and joint savings. As two with similar earning power, we split bills. If we want to 'earmark' money for home repairs, large purchases, etc., we use joint savings for that. We use joint checking to cover groceries and other ongoing incidentals that aren't utilities.

That said, all our accounts are linked; there are no secrets, and each of us has access to the other's accounts. Both names are on all the accounts, even though we use them independently. We consider our accounts as 'many pots on our joint stove', and each of us manages a few. We've consistently planned for how our approach might change if one partner's job becomes unstable, etc., and we're flexible enough to shift methodologies if it makes sense. Both of us are committed to our joint financial health fully and to reaching all the goals we set, but we don't have to physically combine pennies into a sole pot to get there. We both feel all the funds are "ours", but I just feel better mentally getting that pair of jeans from 'my' pot and he feels the same way getting his new boots from 'his'.

This works for us mainly because we do have similar spending/savings habits; we share ideologies on the importance of saving and spending on what we really want/quality instead of wasting money on sub-quality. If our habits were different (one spender, one saver), we'd probably have to find a different way to work it out.

 

[Missy]

We have one checking and 2 savings accounts (with the ability to write checks). No fees with any of our accounts and all are joint accounts. All our money is intermingled. We have never had any major money disagreements. I think we would have had major problems if we "split" expenses. My dh's money is mine and vice versa. There is no distinction. That is what works for us and ofc many people do the opposite and that works for them. It all depends on your philosophy. We are a team working towards the same goal and that is why everything is joint. The only separate accounts we have are our 401K/IRA accounts- retirement accounts have to be individual. But we are each other's beneficiary.

Madelise, you are right in that money is one of the big reasons people have problems in their marriage. My dad gave me some sage advice when my dh and I got engaged. He said money isn't worth fighting over and I agree 100%. But ofc that only works if your partner and you share similar viewpoints/sensibilities regarding financial decisions. But when I get upset over anything having to do with money I remember my dad's advice and we always work it out. It's just not worth it.

I think that's great and it's wonderful that works for you. But if I'm being honest, I have to say it feels like the implication is that people who don't combine finances are somehow less of a team or not working toward common goals and I do very much disagree.

For me, being a team or working toward joint goals is the philosophy. It's the plan, not the execution. There are multiple successful ways to get to the plan, and I really do believe the best methodology is whichever one works best for any individual couple.

I'll give an example. In my case, hub and I met quite late when both of us were both firmly established captains of our respective financial ships. Hub had been married previously in a marriage where they did combine everything, and it led to constant fights and resentments about fairness and spending habits. For us, joint financial control and feeling equally financially empowered was far more important to harmony than joint accounts.

We each maintain our own checkings and savings accounts, and we also have a joint checking and joint savings. As two with similar earning power, we split bills. If we want to 'earmark' money for home repairs, large purchases, etc., we use joint savings for that. We use joint checking to cover groceries and other ongoing incidentals that aren't utilities.

That said, all our accounts are linked; there are no secrets, and each of us has access to the other's accounts. Both names are on all the accounts, even though we use them independently. We consider our accounts as 'many pots on our joint stove', and each of us manages a few. We've consistently planned for how our approach might change if one partner's job becomes unstable, etc., and we're flexible enough to shift methodologies if it makes sense. Both of us are committed to our joint financial health fully and to reaching all the goals we set, but we don't have to physically combine pennies into a sole pot to get there. We both feel all the funds are "ours", but I just feel better mentally getting that pair of jeans from 'my' pot and he feels the same way getting his new boots from 'his'.

This works for us mainly because we do have similar spending/savings habits; we share ideologies on the importance of saving and spending on what we really want/quality instead of wasting money on sub-quality. If our habits were different (one spender, one saver), we'd probably have to find a different way to work it out.

As I posted above, sharing similar sensibilities when it comes to financial matters is key to having harmony IMO. I was sharing my thoughts as to why we have joint accounts and being a team is one of the main reasons. This is what works for us and will not work for others (as I said). The execution of that plan is up to each individual couple of course. I am sorry you read any judgment in my post regarding people who do not have joint accounts. I assure you none was intended. In my mind, because we are a team and because we share everything and because every significant financial decision is made together it makes sense for us. It's all our money. That's how we view it and this is how we do it.


ETA: Maria, I like your philosophy. That works too.
(happy wife, happy life)

 

[gem_anemone]

My husband and I have two joint checking accounts that we treat as personal accounts. We just wanted the other one to be able to access all our money in emergency or use the card if we are picking something up for each other, but we prefer to handle our own accounts. We each have our own savings account. We talked about getting a joint savings or checking account for other purposes, but we haven't found a need for it yet. We each have our own bills that we are responsible for. We try to make it so we are each paying a fair amount. It's not exact, but we are both very generous and don't fight about who bought what. But then again we talk about big purchases and don't spend money on ourselves a lot, but spoil the other person. It works for us