How long was your wedding reception?

[stephbolt]

Just curious for those who have had their wedding, and even those who are planning their wedding or have been to a wedding recently...

I started to work out a timeline for the day of our wedding yesterday, and I am worried that the reception is too short. Our venue gives us 4.5 hours of time from start of ceremony to end of reception. Right now I have this timeline:

6 - ceremony
6:30 - cocktail "hour"
7 - adjorn to dining area, introductions, speeches, etc
7:20 - guests start through buffet line
8:30 - dinner ends, guests adjorn downstairs, first dances
8:45-10:15 - dancing, and general merriment...cake somewhere in there
10:30 - exit

My concern is that the dancing part of the evening seems really short to me when I write it out that way, so I''m curious to get a perspective on what other people''s weddings were like. We do still have an option to add an hour, but of course it comes with some added costs.

Thanks!

 

[meresal]

Reception was 4 hours, from 8pm -12pm

Ceremony was at 6:30.

I was very specific about ALL of the formalities being done between 8-10 (ie, dinner was 45 minutes, first dances, cake cutting, garter/bouquet, etc), and then the last 2 hours were complete Party. If I had only 1 hour to party/dance, it would have been way too short, IMO.

ETA: I think that you can cut the dinner time from 1.1 hours to more like 45 minutes to an hour. I had a buffet and that worked fine.

Are you doing any other formalities other than the dances? I would recommend doing the cake cutting soon after the dances... that way you can get it out of the way, people that only stay thru cake can head out, and then you can get to the party immedaitely and not have to stop in the middle and then try and get the dance floor packed again.

 

[meresal]

Date: 3/11/2010 8:54:47 AM
Author:stephb0lt
Just curious for those who have had their wedding, and even those who are planning their wedding or have been to a wedding recently...

I started to work out a timeline for the day of our wedding yesterday, and I am worried that the reception is too short. Our venue gives us 4.5 hours of time from start of ceremony to end of reception. Right now I have this timeline:

6 - ceremony
6:30 - cocktail ''hour''
7 - adjorn to dining area, introductions, speeches, etc
7:20 - guests start through buffet line
8:30 - dinner ends, guests adjorn downstairs, first dances
8:45-10:15 - dancing, and general merriment...cake somewhere in there
10:30 - exit

My concern is that the dancing part of the evening seems really short to me when I write it out that way, so I''m curious to get a perspective on what other people''s weddings were like. We do still have an option to add an hour, but of course it comes with some added costs.

Thanks!

Also, is this specifically necessary for any reason? It seems like filler for something. If you took this out, you could start serving dinner at 6:45 or even 7.

 

[mayerling]

I''ve been to weddings with only about 1-1.5 hours for dancing and I thought it was too short. I''m going to allow at least 3 for mine.

 

[stephbolt]

Thanks for your insight, meresal. We will not being doing garter/bouquet tosses...we will do toasts, first dances, and cake cutting.

One problem with our venue is that is has two "spaces" that are on different floors. So cocktail hour is in the downstairs space, dinner is upstairs, and dancing is downstairs again. Because of that, there''s no option to start the dancing while guests are still finishing up dinner...we need to basically herd everyone downstairs and have them be done eating. That''s why I''ve allotted a little more time for dinner, but maybe I''m being too cautious.

 

[stephbolt]

Date: 3/11/2010 9:17:18 AM
Author: meresal

Date: 3/11/2010 8:54:47 AM
Author:stephb0lt
Just curious for those who have had their wedding, and even those who are planning their wedding or have been to a wedding recently...

I started to work out a timeline for the day of our wedding yesterday, and I am worried that the reception is too short. Our venue gives us 4.5 hours of time from start of ceremony to end of reception. Right now I have this timeline:

6 - ceremony
6:30 - cocktail ''hour''
7 - adjorn to dining area, introductions, speeches, etc
7:20 - guests start through buffet line
8:30 - dinner ends, guests adjorn downstairs, first dances
8:45-10:15 - dancing, and general merriment...cake somewhere in there
10:30 - exit

My concern is that the dancing part of the evening seems really short to me when I write it out that way, so I''m curious to get a perspective on what other people''s weddings were like. We do still have an option to add an hour, but of course it comes with some added costs.

Thanks!

Also, is this specifically necessary for any reason? It seems like filler for something. If you took this out, you could start serving dinner at 6:45 or even 7.

It''s not "required" but it gives us time to do the formal family portraits after the ceremony (all other pics will be done before the wedding).

 

[meresal]

Date: 3/11/2010 9:20:01 AM
Author: stephb0lt
Thanks for your insight, meresal. We will not being doing garter/bouquet tosses...we will do toasts, first dances, and cake cutting.

One problem with our venue is that is has two 'spaces' that are on different floors. So cocktail hour is in the downstairs space, dinner is upstairs, and dancing is downstairs again. Because of that, there's no option to start the dancing while guests are still finishing up dinner...we need to basically herd everyone downstairs and have them be done eating. That's why I've allotted a little more time for dinner, but maybe I'm being too cautious.

Wow, that's lots of people moving.

If I were you... I would take out the cocktail "hour" and just send people straight to the second floor to prepare for dinner. If you do that, then you can keep the dinner at an hour, with about 10-15 minutes of buffer to get back downstairs for the first dances.

Re: Formal family portraits... ya, I can understand wanting that time. Hmmm... This is tough. I think that you might already have the most efficient schedule for only having 4.5 hours to work with. Maybe just cut the dinner 15 minutes shorter?

 

[Laila619]

Ours was long...cocktail hour from 5pm to 6pm. Dinner, cake, and dancing from 6pm to 11pm.

 

[RaiKai]

Our ceremony was from 4-6 (it wasn''t a traditional ceremony, so, that seems long but it was not just all "ceremony"!) and then we actually did not have a traditional dinner/dance reception as we had such a small wedding, we just went to the resorts dining room for an "a la carte" dinner after the ceremony (with specially printed menus and such for us). We started dinner at about 7, so left that hour in between for people to socialize, go back to their rooms at the resort, take some casual family pictures (we skipped a pro photographer and formals), etc. We are all talkers and ended up having "dinner" until about 9:30 or 10, and then a large bunch of us went to the resort''s hot tub or pool (instead of a dance?) for about 30-60 minutes I can say that after 6 or 7 hours, I was ready to end the night!

Anyway, I have been to a lot of weddings and generally where there is a dinner/dancing format at least 2.5-3 hours is allowed for dancing after the dinner. I don''t think I have ever left a wedding with dancing until 12pm or 1am or so as dinner is usually done about 8 or 9 depending on speeches and toasts and such.

In your case, I think you have maybe done best you can if you have to be out by 10:30. I would not want to cut down dinner anymore as if you are having a buffet line, some of your guests might not even get their food until 7:45 or later, and I personally HATE feeling rushed when I am eating and socializing!

 

[stephbolt]

Date: 3/11/2010 10:38:10 AM
Author: RaiKai
Our ceremony was from 4-6 (it wasn''t a traditional ceremony, so, that seems long but it was not just all ''ceremony''!) and then we actually did not have a traditional dinner/dance reception as we had such a small wedding, we just went to the resorts dining room for an ''a la carte'' dinner after the ceremony (with specially printed menus and such for us). We started dinner at about 7, so left that hour in between for people to socialize, go back to their rooms at the resort, take some casual family pictures (we skipped a pro photographer and formals), etc. We are all talkers and ended up having ''dinner'' until about 9:30 or 10, and then a large bunch of us went to the resort''s hot tub or pool (instead of a dance?) for about 30-60 minutes I can say that after 6 or 7 hours, I was ready to end the night!

Anyway, I have been to a lot of weddings and generally where there is a dinner/dancing format at least 2.5-3 hours is allowed for dancing after the dinner. I don''t think I have ever left a wedding with dancing until 12pm or 1am or so as dinner is usually done about 8 or 9 depending on speeches and toasts and such.

In your case, I think you have maybe done best you can if you have to be out by 10:30. I would not want to cut down dinner anymore as if you are having a buffet line, some of your guests might not even get their food until 7:45 or later, and I personally HATE feeling rushed when I am eating and socializing!

Thanks for your input! Under our current contract, we do have to be out, but we could alter the contract to add an extra hour. If we did this, we would put most of it on the dancing part of the evening, and maybe bump the cocktail "hour" up to 45 minutes. We may have to wait to make the decision until more of the RSVPs are in though, and we see how much leeway we have in the budget.

 

[elrohwen]

I think our ceremony was at 5:30 or so, then reception from 5:45 to 11:30 - almost 6 hours (that''s cocktail hour plus dinner plus dancing). I don''t remmeber how long the dancing portion was, but I think it was at least 3 hours and it went by way too fast. I do agree that 4.5 hours for the whole night doesn''t seem very long at all! Would your venue you let run to 11:30 for a little extra money?

 

[purselover]

I would maybe take out the cocktail hour like Meresal suggested especially since it''s only half an hour.

Our timeline was like this (a bit different since ours was sit down)

12-1 cocktail hour
1-2:45ish everyone ordered,intros, speeches, ate
245:ish-3 cake cutting, first dance
3-5: mingling, cake, dancing

 

[PumpkinPie]

I agree with the general consensus - I would try to either do some changes to teh schedule (the cocktail hour specifically like Meresal suggested) or (if budget allows), get the extra hour at your venue.

 

[Nov2109]

I can''t help with advice on buffet timing--we have a sit-down, but our reception is 5 hours. 1 hour cocktail hour, 4 hour reception. We''re only allowing the best man and MOH to give a speech and maybe my brother. We have our first dance, mother/son and father daughter dances, and thats about it.

We''re on the fence about the garter/bouquet.

I''ve never been to a wedding that was longer than 6 hours. Most are 4-5.

 

[Haven]

Our reception was about 5 1/2 hours long. This was our timeline:

10:30 - Ceremony!
11 - Noon - Cocktail hour
Noon - 5:30 - Reception

I think we booked the band to play for five hours of our reception. We had speeches and toasts, our first dance, the aunt/groom and father/bride dance, cake cutting, and a photo montage thrown in there, too.

 

[iheartscience]

Our timeline was something like this if I recall correctly:

6:00: ceremony
6:30-7:30: cocktail hour (while we took pictures)
7:30: entrance, first dance, father/daughter and mother/son dances
7:45-8:45ish: dinner
8:45ish-11:30: party!
11:30: exit

 

[sunnyd]

Our timeline looked like this:

530 - ceremony
6-645 - cocktail hour
7-ish - dinner

Then the rest was a blur of unknown times

but I think we ended at 1130.

4.5 hours does seem short, especially considering that things will run late and/or not happen at exactly the "right" time. Do you have a lot of dancers coming? If so, I''d definitely allow more time for that, because it''s the most fun part!

Now that I think about it though, we were supposed to end at 11, but unexpected LOOOOONG speeches plus an unexpected slide show put us way behind so we added an hour while there, then only used half of it.

 

[ilovesparkles]

A few thoughts, and before I give them, I am NO expert. Just what popped into my head.
- That seems like a really short time frame for a buffet dinner,especially if your wedding is over 120-150. The last people to the buffet will have no time to eat.
- Why can''t you move the cocktail hour to the dining room???? This wastes a lot less time shuffling people and you still have time for those family photos.
- Adding time may be the best solution.

 

[stephbolt]

Date: 3/11/2010 9:15:50 PM
Author: ilovesparkles
A few thoughts, and before I give them, I am NO expert. Just what popped into my head.

- That seems like a really short time frame for a buffet dinner,especially if your wedding is over 120-150. The last people to the buffet will have no time to eat.

- Why can''t you move the cocktail hour to the dining room???? This wastes a lot less time shuffling people and you still have time for those family photos.

- Adding time may be the best solution.

We will be right in that 120-150 range, so I definitely don''t want to shorten dinner knowing that people will hit the buffet in stages.

Cocktail hour upstairs won''t work, as the only bar is downstairs!

I think we are 90% decided on adding the extra hour. It will end up costing us about $1500, but the last thing I want is for people to leave the wedding thinking "that was so short" or "I felt really rushed at dinner." Now to figure out where that money can come from....

Thanks everyone for your input.

 

[kama_s]

You only get to have a wedding day once in your lifetime, make it last as long as you can! Our reception began at 6:30pm (ceremony was earlier in the afternoon) and went upto 1:30am (so 7 hours not including ceremony). And I could have easily spent more time with all my guests.

 

[honey22]

I had the same thought for our wedding, but really, it was enough time. You will probably be exhausted after a long day, and you have better things to do with your new hubby anyway

If you are really set on a longer dance period, I second Mere''s idea of cutting down dinner a tad. Do you have the option to extend your reception by an hour? Many venues do it, but they also charge quite a fee for it?

The other option is an after party? Can you have a venue that you can let guests know that you plan on partying on. Didn''t you do this Mere? We are going to a wedding in a few months where a lot of couples are staying at a local hotel (they are providing free transfers to and from the wedding). Afterwards the bride and groom have arranged with the hotel to keep their bar open so we can party on for a while. Many hotels will be happy for you to use their public bar areas. If people are paying for drinks, they will be happy to keep serving them if it''s within their liquor licencing hours.