LeggoMyEggo
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2008
- Messages
- 39
Hi all, I''m new here and so excited to have found this forum!
I''m a 28 year-old social worker in New York City, dating a 40 year-old banker for 5 months now. We are both financially secure and he owns his own home. We have been in love much longer than the 5 months we''ve been together, but the age difference made us both very nervous about officially "dating." Eventually we decided that it was silly to turn our backs on such a wonderful gift, and we couldn''t be more in love. Neither of us has ever been happier in our entire lives.
He is divorced... his first marriage was when he was 30 and it lasted all of 8 months. It was one of those, "This is the right time in my life/career to get married" situations, and they were horribly matched. He takes marriage very seriously-- he''s extremely religious and suffered a great deal of guilt for a long time afterward-- but they both realized it was a mistake and got an anullment.
We have had many conversations about our relationship. He''s always saying how he never knew relationships could be this good, this healthy, this supportive. We are open and honest about everything, and it''s such a relief to have no secrets, no games. He talks openly about taking vacations together in the distant future, makes comments about things I''ll need to be prepared for when he''s 60, that sort of thing. A few weeks ago I made a passing, joking comment about how a friend could control his wardrobe and I''d take the rest of his life, and he turned all serious and said, "Good, I want the rest of it to be with you." He says he''ll love me for the rest of his life.
However, we haven''t used the "m" word. I know he wants to get married again because he''s told me so numerous times, before we were dating. He''s not marriage-phobic. So what''s the right timeframe to bring it up? We both want to have children, and well, he isn''t getting any younger (and neither am I, for that matter!). I''m amazed I''m even doing this without telling him, but I just want to make sure that when I bring it up, I do it the right way so he doesn''t think I''m nagging or pushing. How long should I wait to have a direct conversation about it?
Thanks for your help, ladies!
I''m a 28 year-old social worker in New York City, dating a 40 year-old banker for 5 months now. We are both financially secure and he owns his own home. We have been in love much longer than the 5 months we''ve been together, but the age difference made us both very nervous about officially "dating." Eventually we decided that it was silly to turn our backs on such a wonderful gift, and we couldn''t be more in love. Neither of us has ever been happier in our entire lives.
He is divorced... his first marriage was when he was 30 and it lasted all of 8 months. It was one of those, "This is the right time in my life/career to get married" situations, and they were horribly matched. He takes marriage very seriously-- he''s extremely religious and suffered a great deal of guilt for a long time afterward-- but they both realized it was a mistake and got an anullment.
We have had many conversations about our relationship. He''s always saying how he never knew relationships could be this good, this healthy, this supportive. We are open and honest about everything, and it''s such a relief to have no secrets, no games. He talks openly about taking vacations together in the distant future, makes comments about things I''ll need to be prepared for when he''s 60, that sort of thing. A few weeks ago I made a passing, joking comment about how a friend could control his wardrobe and I''d take the rest of his life, and he turned all serious and said, "Good, I want the rest of it to be with you." He says he''ll love me for the rest of his life.
However, we haven''t used the "m" word. I know he wants to get married again because he''s told me so numerous times, before we were dating. He''s not marriage-phobic. So what''s the right timeframe to bring it up? We both want to have children, and well, he isn''t getting any younger (and neither am I, for that matter!). I''m amazed I''m even doing this without telling him, but I just want to make sure that when I bring it up, I do it the right way so he doesn''t think I''m nagging or pushing. How long should I wait to have a direct conversation about it?
Thanks for your help, ladies!