How is the economy effecting you/your pending engagement/wedding plans?

[suchende]

Just curious!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Well......it''s pretty rough!

S lost his job 4 months ago and hasn''t landed a new one yet. He''s applied for several and gone on 2 interviews (the first job was frozen after interviews, the second job hired within

) He''s also gone into several "qualifying tests" to take and done well but not good enough to get interviewed. So pretty much NOTHING will happen with us as far as an engagement/wedding until he finds something and feels settled. Our entire future is pending on whatever job he ends up with because he will either end up with career job (then we can move forward) or another job which will just put us right back into holding pattern until he finds the right gig.

My dad''s hours were cut back to 24 hours a week 2 months ago. Now he is working one day a week and is being made to use his vacation hours 2 days a week. So my parents might be needing some help from me. Especially since a small tornado/damaging hail storm came through and busted out 4 windows, jacked up the roof, the shed, the fence, the paint on the house, the garage door, window well covers, flowers and statues in the yard.

So life is flipping great thanks to the economy..............

(

) But really, it''s all out of my control. Whatever happens, happens.

 

[suchende]

That''s a lot of struggles, DG. *job dust* your S and your dad

 

[misskitty]

I was laid off back in October, and haven''t been able to get anything more than a part-time job doing artwork and mannequin type things for a retail store. I''ve been on many many interviews, but I always get the "we love you, and you''re perfect for this job, but we''re afraid that when the economy picks up again, you''ll leave us for a better opportunity" bit. It''s seriously frustrating, because there''s nothing I can say to that -- they''ve pretty much made their decision at that point, you know? </ vent>

I feel lucky that I''m the only one in my family/close friends that is going through this. My parents are doing ok, B is good, and my little brother just landed a job right out of college.

As for pending engagement/wedding plans, the impact it''ll really have is more towards the latter; we plan on paying for the wedding ourselves, and since I''m barely making enough to pay bills, there isn''t much going into savings from my end. This bolsters my argument that we should just elope or have a super small wedding, but I feel like B would rather wait until we can afford a big event. So, indirectly, me not having a full-time job is pushing our potential wedding date back.

 

[MrsHToBe]

The economy has definitely hampered our engagement plans..

FF had the money saved for my ring last August, but without either of us being able to find jobs until November (and, mine not very stable), the savings went towards bills, rent, school things for DD, etc..
He has a very good-paying job this summer (a camp), which will hopefully help with the ring fund, but, at the end of the month, said fund will again depend on us finding jobs. My last place of employment has mentioned hiring me back, soon, which is a plus, but it''s the stability thing I''m worried about. It just seems like a messy, vicious cycle..

 

[Pushin40]

A very, very negative impact......

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Well, saving up for a ring, house, or generally a life together is much tougher.

 

[mariewest]

Well, I think it all comes down to money. He doesn''t have the money to buy a ring, and we need to save money for the wedding. I''m also trying to look for a job where he is moving for grad. school. If the economy was better then I could move with him right away and he could buy a ring and we wouldn''t worry about saving for a wedding. I mean, it may be more than that, but I think that the economy isn''t helping the situation.

 

[4ever]

I think it''s ment that we are planning to get engaged almost a year later then we originally planned and agreed upon and we spent less then we otherwise would of on the ring.

The economy made a massive downturn just before BF moved here and started looking for a new job. It took him hundreds of applications and several months to find a new job because NO ONE was hiring. The job he finally got is on a 5 month contract and he is way over qualified for it although he enjoys it. We felt it would be innapropriate to get engaged when he was unnemployed and even now when we don''t have the greatest financial security or the level of financial independence we would like.

We also were more conservitve with the ring budget. Because BFs job is not yet perminent and with the enconomy as it is, anything could happen, we didn''t feel it would be wise for BF to fork out alot of his savings for a ring.

 

[simplefears]

My boy wanted to find a new job before proposing, but I think we are both lucky to even have jobs in this economy. I graduated last year and got a call from my school a few months after graduation, they were surveying whether I had found a job and if it was in my major (which I had and it is) they said I was lucky and that wasn't the typical response they were getting.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

It has had a huge effect on our relationship/future because BF lost his job about 5 months ago.

I don''t see my BF proposing unemployed. It just goes against everything about him. I am making a decent living and can support myself, but he says that doesn''t matter, he wants to feel like he can provide, even if it is just half the income.

So plans are indefinite for now. When I joined the LIW list, I really thought a proposal would be coming this September the latest, but he had a job at that time. Now I know it will be at least 3-6 months after he finds a job...I might crack the top 10 the rate we are going.

 

[cindygenit]

Definitely re-thinking some wedding decisions which FI and I made ages ago. While my job hasn''t been affected, his boss is really tightening up the budget in terms of hours worked, and if FI did overtime he won''t get paid (he''ll be told to leave work early another day). He gets about 200 dollars less a week now

 

[hughsie]

Honestly, currently not much. I''ve only been working for a year after getting my degree, now going back to university for my MA. I''m fairly confident that I will find a part time job (or two!), but money was always going to be tight there. E only graduates this year as he was on a 4 year course, and had never earned money of his own, so the proposal could never have happened before October/November. Now he has unpaid work experience for September and hopes to get a job off the back of that. He says that everything will be sorted by December, which is not much later than my original (quite optimistic) hopes.

Many people from our university are still walking into very highly paid jobs, but even some of them have had their starting date deferred. Neither of us is cut out to be an investment banker or management consultant though!

All of this means that money is very tight, but it was always going to be having just finised college and starting to establish ourselves. So I actually feel pretty lucky that we are in pretty much the only situation we could have been.

 

[treefrog]

Definitely affected. We lost our work contract last Sept and I was unemployed for a month. Got a new job at the same place, just with a different employer. My current employer is finishing up a merger and we were supposed to get pay alignment/realignment letters at the end of July. Haven''t seen anything yet and I have no clue where my pay may end up. Our salary and benefits have already been trimmed a bit. We''re both in our early 40''s and are planning on paying for everything ourselves although my parents would like to pitch in because they paid for both of my sisters weddings (I am a guy... but there is no Men in Waiting forum so cut me some slack!!!)

Anyway, we''re kind of stuck with plans right now since we don''t know what our budget may be. We want nice but neither of us wants lavish... not in these times. We feel money can be put to much better use and that we can do a nice AND affordable wedding with some effort. We''re thinking of a small wedding/honeymoon in Key West and a wedding reception/celebration back home. I made some sacrifices to get a great diamond and ring and am pretty certain I''ll have to sell my snowmobile to help pay for the wedding stuff.

So... for now... wedding plans are on hold until I see how my salary is going to be affected. Vacations are on hold because I don''t know if I''ll have to use my vacation time for a wedding this year or not (have to use up vacation hours by the end of the year) and to save money. I had a couple of small vacation trips I really wanted to do this Summer but all have been scrapped.

Treefrog

 

[ckrickett]

our budget for e-ring went down drastically, but I''m ok with that.
I''d rather be financially stable then put ourselves into a problem over something that can be fixed with an upgrade later on down the line!

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 8/4/2009 10:56:38 AM
Author: treefrog
Definitely affected. We lost our work contract last Sept and I was unemployed for a month. Got a new job at the same place, just with a different employer. My current employer is finishing up a merger and we were supposed to get pay alignment/realignment letters at the end of July. Haven''t seen anything yet and I have no clue where my pay may end up. Our salary and benefits have already been trimmed a bit. We''re both in our early 40''s and are planning on paying for everything ourselves although my parents would like to pitch in because they paid for both of my sisters weddings (I am a guy... but there is no Men in Waiting forum so cut me some slack!!!)


Anyway, we''re kind of stuck with plans right now since we don''t know what our budget may be. We want nice but neither of us wants lavish... not in these times. We feel money can be put to much better use and that we can do a nice AND affordable wedding with some effort. We''re thinking of a small wedding/honeymoon in Key West and a wedding reception/celebration back home. I made some sacrifices to get a great diamond and ring and am pretty certain I''ll have to sell my snowmobile to help pay for the wedding stuff.


So... for now... wedding plans are on hold until I see how my salary is going to be affected. Vacations are on hold because I don''t know if I''ll have to use my vacation time for a wedding this year or not (have to use up vacation hours by the end of the year) and to save money. I had a couple of small vacation trips I really wanted to do this Summer but all have been scrapped.


Treefrog

you are more then welcome here treefrog!

 

[treefrog]

Date: 8/4/2009 8:54:35 PM
Author: ckrickett

you are more then welcome here treefrog!

Thanks! I try to keep my distance and stay out of the clearly ladies-only stuff but there is often some good stuff here... or at least a good opportunity for a guy''s perspective.


Treefrog

 

[ckrickett]

LIW can be Lads-in-waiting too

 

[brendaman]

FI''s work (he''s a patent attorney w/his own firm) has gone down, so we had to postpone the ring shopping (we started in September 200. We finally decided and purchased the ring today. Stay tuned!

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 8/4/2009 11:24:35 PM
Author: brendaman
FI''s work (he''s a patent attorney w/his own firm) has gone down, so we had to postpone the ring shopping (we started in September 200. We finally decided and purchased the ring today. Stay tuned!

oooo dust dust dust

 

[Dreamgirl]

Thanks suchende!

Date: 8/4/2009 1:03:36 AM
Author: LtlFirecracker
I don''t see my BF proposing unemployed. It just goes against everything about him. I am making a decent living and can support myself, but he says that doesn''t matter, he wants to feel like he can provide, even if it is just half the income.

This is EXACTLY how S is. He very much would never propose unemployed. And he wont propose until all is well in his world as far as being settled in the job and having enough money saved up for the same reasons. He wants to feel like he can provide for me even though I''ve got a job.

That is not to say he doesn''t think about marrying me. The timing is just all whacked out for us. That''s just how it is. It''s hard but just knowing our love is still there and very very strong...and getting married is what we want, I''ve just got to try to stay positive about it (not easy though!) and HOPE that our future starts looking up!

 

[suchende]

Date: 8/5/2009 1:21:15 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Thanks suchende!

Date: 8/4/2009 1:03:36 AM

Author: LtlFirecracker

I don''t see my BF proposing unemployed. It just goes against everything about him. I am making a decent living and can support myself, but he says that doesn''t matter, he wants to feel like he can provide, even if it is just half the income.

This is EXACTLY how S is. He very much would never propose unemployed. And he wont propose until all is well in his world as far as being settled in the job and having enough money saved up for the same reasons. He wants to feel like he can provide for me even though I''ve got a job.


That is not to say he doesn''t think about marrying me. The timing is just all whacked out for us. That''s just how it is. It''s hard but just knowing our love is still there and very very strong...and getting married is what we want, I''ve just got to try to stay positive about it (not easy though!) and HOPE that our future starts looking up!

This sounds like my bf too. I agree that we should wait until things are a little more settled (he''s in school) but I''m afraid our ideas of "settled" might be a little different...

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 8/5/2009 1:43:12 PM
Author: suchende
This sounds like my bf too. I agree that we should wait until things are a little more settled (he''s in school) but I''m afraid our ideas of ''settled'' might be a little different...

Trying to get education finished up took us a while. He was working a full time job and going to school at the same time. Finally got his BS last year and hasn''t landed a job with that degree yet. His original plan was to possibly go back for a masters degree. Well now that''s on hold too. It''s really up in the air at the moment on if he will do that or not.

 

[lulu66]

it''s def having an effect on ours. both waiting for jobs--makes for very tight living!! just keep applying & applying. he wants to land a civilian job on a military base, so there''s a lot of red tape to get through! its taking FOREVER! i''m a trained special education teacher, but don''t want to get my own classroom & have to move (w/him--he will have to relocate, we don''t live near any bases currently) mid year. so, i''m looking for an instructional aide position or will sub until he finds a job. it''s tough; we''re working on paying our bills & feeding ourselves, so unfortunately diamonds fall to the bottom of the list! booo!
so, i come here hoping other ladies get engaged & i get to look at their pretties!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Brendaman...you have to tell us what you ended up with, how exciting!

Dreamgirl, sounds like your BF and my BF have a lot in common! Sending more job dust to him.

lulu66 - good luck to your BF too, the nice thing about working for the government is that your job is pretty secure once you get though all that red tape

suchende - I know what you mean. I am hoping things turn around. I have started talking to my BF about the fact that if things don''t change, we will need to change our definition of "settled" because I do want to move on with the rest of my life. We want to give things a little more time to see if things turn around, as evidence shows that this economy is showing signs of "bottoming out."

 

[lulu66]

Date: 8/6/2009 1:08:37 AM
Author: LtlFirecracker
Brendaman...you have to tell us what you ended up with, how exciting!


Dreamgirl, sounds like your BF and my BF have a lot in common! Sending more job dust to him.


lulu66 - good luck to your BF too, the nice thing about working for the government is that your job is pretty secure once you get though all that red tape


suchende - I know what you mean. I am hoping things turn around. I have started talking to my BF about the fact that if things don''t change, we will need to change our definition of ''settled'' because I do want to move on with the rest of my life. We want to give things a little more time to see if things turn around, as evidence shows that this economy is showing signs of ''bottoming out.''

ltlfirecracker--good luck to you all too! i def understand about reassessing "settled." now it kinda seems like we''re stuck; i try not to think like that & remember that this is our life, we''re together, happy, & healthy & to try to focus on the positive & live in the now but it''s VERY challenging sometimes.

here''s to wishing good luck to everyone experiencing difficulty during this time!!

 

[oceanwaves]

I''m a teacher and I live in Los Angeles. Finding an elementary teaching position as a new teacher (though I got my credential in ''05) has been next to impossible. If I can''t get a full-time position, I feel as if I''ll never get engaged. *sigh*... talk about bad timing!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/3/2009 12:55:53 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Well......it''s pretty rough!

So life is flipping great thanks to the economy..............

(

) But really, it''s all out of my control. Whatever happens, happens.

Ditto!!! The economy has seriously screwed up our plans

but at least we have a roof over our heads, a refrigerator full of food, clothes in the closet and loving family / friends. Hey, perhaps life aint so bad after all.....

 

[teal]

None. I wanted a small ring, and the wedding will be very simple - on the beach on a military base, with REAL food at the reception that people actually want to eat (sliders, yum!) The whole thing will be no more than $5000. Maybe even less, my dress is under $150 with tax and shipping with no veil and I''m going to look for shoes at Payless or Wal-Mart ^_^

 

[snogirl17]

i believe that it has effected our plans, things were starting to look up. Purchased a home together, he paid off his truck and had some extra cash... for about 2 months and then lost his job. We both decided it would be a perfect time for him to go to school full time, so thats his job right now. i know it is the right decision but i feel guilty even thinking about an engagement or him having to purchase a ring. So i keep my mouth shut and just wait for him to do his thing when the time is right and when he feels comfortable.
We know we are going to get married, but i still find it hard that after 6 years we are still in this holding pattern, not because we dont want to be married or we arent sure. it is purely finacial and sometimes that just stinks!