Zoe|1317775262|3033431 said:This might sound like a funny suggestion, but it works. When I need a pick me up, I sometimes go to our local animal rescue leage/animal shelter and play with the cats and dogs. I think they like the company and I like the furry cuteness. I also spend a lot of time with our two cats at home.
I spend all day in a classroom and as draining as it can be, it's hard to feel negative when you're playing on the floor with little kids.
I don't go through tolls too often but when I do, I love to pay for the people behind me. It's such a small thing but it feels really good.
I reread notes, cards, e-mails, and letters from loved ones. Those always make me feel better if I'm feeling down.
I also love to buy flowers and display them prominently in the house. The bright colors always cheer me up.
Those are the things I could think of off the top of my head.
Kenny hit the nail on the head. The hard times make us what we are. We do not grow with only wonderful things -- it's the uphill climbs that make us stronger. My mom used to tell me that each hard thing I face straight-on makes the next one a little bit easier to handle. She was right.Life is a rich and wonderful combination of varied experiences and tough times help us appreciate the good times.
kenny|1317791964|3033617 said:I don't.
I don't think it is healthy to put such an unrealistic expectation on your existence 24 hours a day, no matter what.
That would be fake and exhausting to keep up.
I'm not talking about clinical depression; that's serious and should be treated.
Positive and negative are passing mental states which both can be appropriate for what's going on in your life at the time.
I attempt to stay neutral, authentic, and present in the moment, and not with my head in the clouds in LaLa HappyLand.
What is true and real is okay.
Life is a rich and wonderful combination of varied experiences and tough times help us appreciate the good times.
beesha77|1317785819|3033557 said:I've been through a lot of stuff in my life, particularly in the last 2 years but I always manage to have a smile on my face. I just always tell myself that it can ALWAYS be worse. ALWAYS. [/b]That and when you look back on things that were tough...somehow you still manage to be ok. And when I just need a break, I go get coffee by myself or buy myself flowers.
Haven|1317831222|3033904 said:I wonder how much of this is due to natural temperament. I tend to stay positive and calm in most situations. This isn't something I consciously try to do, it's just the way I am. My best friend is the opposite. She becomes agitated and overwhelmed and immediately focuses on the negative in a situation. She doesn't try to do this, either, it's just the way she is.
Octavia|1317830367|3033889 said:I like to find a really beautiful piece of music that matches my mood, and I'll play it as many times as I need to.
Haven|1317831222|3033904 said:I wonder how much of this is due to natural temperament. I tend to stay positive and calm in most situations. This isn't something I consciously try to do, it's just the way I am. My best friend is the opposite. She becomes agitated and overwhelmed and immediately focuses on the negative in a situation. She doesn't try to do this, either, it's just the way she is.
On the rare occasion that I do feel down, I spend time with my pets. They're amazing.
Dreamer--Thank you for this very interesting explanation. (I was hoping you'd pop into this thread!)Dreamer_D|1317840033|3033995 said:Haven|1317831222|3033904 said:I wonder how much of this is due to natural temperament. I tend to stay positive and calm in most situations. This isn't something I consciously try to do, it's just the way I am. My best friend is the opposite. She becomes agitated and overwhelmed and immediately focuses on the negative in a situation. She doesn't try to do this, either, it's just the way she is.
On the rare occasion that I do feel down, I spend time with my pets. They're amazing.
It is absolutely highly genetic/biological. There are a few aspects of personality that are considered sort of primal building blocks, and they are evident from birth if you can believe it. One is emotionality. It is given lots of names -- emotional reactivity, affectivity, neuroticism -- but what it basically boils down to is ones physiological and emotional reactions to stimuli. As babies you can make a loud noise and see how a baby responds. Some babies will startle and cry and take a long time to settle. Those are reactive babies and they are more likely to grow up to experience more anxiety and worry and negative mood. Other babies will perhaps flinch and look around in response to a loud noise, if they cry they settle within seconds. Those babies grow up to have low levels of negative mood, to recover from stressors quickly, to be laid back. It is facinating, and as a psycholgist I knew all of this stuff intellectually, but having my own kids really brings it home how early some of these personality building blocks are evident.
kenny|1317791964|3033617 said:I don't.
I don't think it is healthy to put such an unrealistic expectation on your existence 24 hours a day, no matter what.
That would be fake and exhausting to keep up.
I'm not talking about clinical depression; that's serious and should be treated.
Positive and negative are passing mental states which both can be appropriate for what's going on in your life at the time.
I attempt to stay neutral, authentic, and present in the moment, and not with my head in the clouds in LaLa HappyLand.
What is true and real is okay.
Life is a rich and wonderful combination of varied experiences and tough times help us appreciate the good times.
Haven|1317840541|3033999 said:Dreamer--Thank you for this very interesting explanation. (I was hoping you'd pop into this thread!)Dreamer_D|1317840033|3033995 said:Haven|1317831222|3033904 said:I wonder how much of this is due to natural temperament. I tend to stay positive and calm in most situations. This isn't something I consciously try to do, it's just the way I am. My best friend is the opposite. She becomes agitated and overwhelmed and immediately focuses on the negative in a situation. She doesn't try to do this, either, it's just the way she is.
On the rare occasion that I do feel down, I spend time with my pets. They're amazing.
It is absolutely highly genetic/biological. There are a few aspects of personality that are considered sort of primal building blocks, and they are evident from birth if you can believe it. One is emotionality. It is given lots of names -- emotional reactivity, affectivity, neuroticism -- but what it basically boils down to is ones physiological and emotional reactions to stimuli. As babies you can make a loud noise and see how a baby responds. Some babies will startle and cry and take a long time to settle. Those are reactive babies and they are more likely to grow up to experience more anxiety and worry and negative mood. Other babies will perhaps flinch and look around in response to a loud noise, if they cry they settle within seconds. Those babies grow up to have low levels of negative mood, to recover from stressors quickly, to be laid back. It is facinating, and as a psycholgist I knew all of this stuff intellectually, but having my own kids really brings it home how early some of these personality building blocks are evident.
Now you have me thinking about my friends' babies and their behavior. My oldest friend's baby is the most laid-back little guy I've ever seen. Nothing really bothers him. He gets over scares very quickly. Smiles at anyone who will hold him, and gazes around happily as he's being handed off from one person to the next. DH's cousin's baby is quite the opposite. Always screaming. Never content. Doesn't like to be held by anyone other than mom or dad. Frightens easily and doesn't calm down for what seems like hours. Very interesting, indeed!
My mom always says that I used to wake up and start cooing, and later singing, to myself in my crib. She swears I was the happiest baby ever and adapted easily to all of the strange environments they put me in. I always thought she was full of it, but it gels with what you're saying, and with my current disposition now!
Circe|1317826574|3033837 said:kenny|1317791964|3033617 said:I don't.
I don't think it is healthy to put such an unrealistic expectation on your existence 24 hours a day, no matter what.
That would be fake and exhausting to keep up.
I'm not talking about clinical depression; that's serious and should be treated.
Positive and negative are passing mental states which both can be appropriate for what's going on in your life at the time.
I attempt to stay neutral, authentic, and present in the moment, and not with my head in the clouds in LaLa HappyLand.
What is true and real is okay.
Life is a rich and wonderful combination of varied experiences and tough times help us appreciate the good times.
This. You might also be interested in this: http://www.barbaraehrenreich.com/brightsided.htm.